Mental health can be a tricky subject. For instance, if you see a psychiatrist, the first task is making sure they're not crazier than you are. One way to tell is if the psychiatrist, for instance, demands that you start calling them "mother."
Which brings us to Harvard Medical School psychiatrist, Margaret Bean-Bayog, whose last name is lesser known slang for burrito-induced Montezuma's revenge. She was treating a student at the school who came to her because he was feeling lonely. According to the good doctor, the patient had suffered severe childhood abuse and was now hooked on drugs and alcohol as well as dealing with overwhelming anxiety, rage and sociopathic tendencies. That was strange, because no previous doctor had managed to detect any of these things in the poor kid.
The course of treatment was exactly what you'd suspect given the young man's poor mental health: several thousand pages of sadomasochistic fantasies written by the doctor, and an extensive effort to brainwash him into believing he was a child and that the doctor was his mother.
The doctor wrote flash cards for her patient with instructions to read them 10 times a day until he believed them, chock full of important mental health slogans like "I'm your Mom and I love you and you love me very very much." Presumably other cards read "Fill you anus with applesauce and learn kung fu" and "Every episode of House follows the same pattern... because of Jews."
Because of Jews.
Hey, did we mention that the rest of her medical advice amounted to "let me use your boner like a carnival ride"?
The patient's family filed suit against the doctor after the patient killed himself. And while the doctor conceded her treatment was "unconventional," she denied she did anything wrong. Presumably she then shat in a coffee cup and accused it of spying on her.