"You're tearing me apart!"
The initial threat in the case of God v. Leeches, for some reason, didn't work. The court responded in kind by taking another course of logical legal action: they performed an exorcism on the leeches. Apparently, this worked. Granted, the leeches didn't pack their shit and proclaim "Fuck Switzerland!" as much as they just kind of died, or, as we're sure the Ecclesiastical court probably likes to remember it, "exorcised until complete and utter fucking annihilation."
Cotton Mather Hates Bestiality... Like, A Lot
While some embrace bestiality enough to splatter it across a seemingly endless array of hardcore porn sites, others, like 1700s New England Puritan minister Cotton Mather, took a far more rational stance as he stood atop a metaphorical mountain and boldly declared, "THAT SHIT IS FUCKING GROSS!!"
Mather: Hard on sin, harder on animals. In a completely nonsexual way.
It was in a 1662 New Haven, Connecticut that Mather came across one Mr. Potter. Potter was a frisky 60-year-old whose wife's vagina was not feral enough for his tastes seeing as he had been sodomizing animals since the tender age of 10. This, of course, is why video games are a good thing to have around your kids.
Guess who never misses an opportunity to use this pic? Fucking Cracked, that's who.
Potter's wife was in no way oblivious to Potter's buggery, as Mather accounts, "His wife had seen him confound himself with a bitch ten years before; and then he excused his filthiness as well as he could unto her, but conjured her to keep it secret." Mather continues his account with what we think is one of the greatest sentences ever written: "He afterward hanged that bitch himself and then returned unto his former villainies, until at last his son saw him hideously conversing with a sow." The hung bitch in question is the animal, not his wife.