4

Ghetto Tours

Cost: $50 Per Day

When you travel to a strange city, do you fear taking a wrong turn and winding up in the "bad" part of town? The problem, of course, is that you don't have a friendly tour guide to show you the sights. Fortunately when you travel to Rio de Janeiro, you can take a Ghetto Tour.

That's right, you too can take a walk on the wild side and experience a world not your own. According to tour guide Marcelo Armstrong, founder of Favela Tours, it is an "illuminating experience if you look for an insider point of view." The tours have been taking place since the early 90s and Armstrong considers it an honor to share a part of his hometown that few get the pleasure of seeing.

Thrill seekers will be disappointed to find that most of these ghettos aren't all that dangerous. During these Favela Tours there are armed men stationed as guards (they don't work for the police, mind you, but for the drug traffickers that run the neighborhoods).

You'll have a chance to shop at local markets and street vendors and sample the local food and wares. A portion of the proceeds of these tours always goes back into the community. But, not too much mind you. Because if you give poor people too much money, they won't be poor anymore. And that'd kill business.

3

Crossword Puzzle Cruise

Cost: $240 Per Day

There are few things more relaxing than sailing aboard a cruise ship. It's just a little dull, that's all. So how can they liven it up?

By combining cruises with the thrill-a-minute excitement of crossword puzzles. At least that's what Stan Newman, Editor of the nationally syndicated Newsday Crossword Puzzle, thought. So he formed up the Crossword University Cruise to bring together all of the word puzzle enthusiasts of the world. All of em! It's genius really, the perfect combination of seasickness from being on a boat combined with the frustration of working a crossword puzzle, and throw in a dash of depression because you spent $1600 to do it all.

2

Stay in an Ice Hotel

Cost: $400 Per Day

The majesty of winter has a certain effect on people. It reminds us of Christmas and other fond memories. The Ice Hotel is the embodiment of this idea in building form. Just look at it, it's so beautiful. And ball numbingly cold.

The Ice Hotel is located just north of the Arctic Circle in Sweden. The latest incarnation (they've been building these since 1980) has 31 rooms, a main hall, a church and a bar. It's the pride of Sweden and the artists who lovingly sculpt it out of ice.

Having trouble picturing a structure made completely from snow and ice? Well, imagine that snowman you built last year, now imagine that it is living in a giant hotel made of ice. Got it now?

The average temperature in the Ice Hotel is 17 degrees and temperatures can drop down to negative 5 degrees at night outside its walls. Of course, that's all necessary because the whole thing is made out of fucking ice. And it all needs to stay frozen.

Wait a second! We think we've found the flaw in the whole "ice hotel" concept! The entire time you're in the hotel, whether it's high noon or the middle of the night, it's still going to be below fucking freezing. There is no heat, there are no fires and the toilet is a hundred feet away in a trailer. Is there any hope of getting laid in such a place?

"So, do you come here often, or just when you're ready for death?"

It's cold enough to make a solid block of ice out of any liquid you want to drink and cold enough to give you frostbite if you aren't properly dressed. Meaning a stay at the Ice Hotel could potentially kill you. But it's all good right? At least there's a bar!

1

Shoot Farm Animals with Rocket Launchers

Cost: $400 Per Day

Hold on, now. How did this wind up on a list of bad vacation ideas?

For the Rambo in all of us, Cambodia offers up a taste of awesomeness by allowing tourists to fire off heavy weaponry at barnyard animals. There are testimonials from tourists who found out that it's all about knowing who to ask.

A brief example of who not to ask.

Not unlike sitting down at a 24-hour diner, they were handed a price list. On the menu: machine guns like the AK-47, a variety of sub machine guns, hand guns and even hand grenades. All the weapons were refurbished and most likely used during the Vietnam War. Meaning that most of the weapons have probably killed before. Wanna do the same? Well, if you've got the money, you can do just about anything. And like all good patrons, our tourist asked about the "Special of the Day," which just happened to be a rocket launcher and a cow for $400 USD. "You get $200 back if you miss the cow" he was told.

Apparently Cambodia has had little to no tourist traffic in some time (we wonder: Why?) with one particular exception being the Killing Fields and their huge masses of human remains.

Enterprising locals figured tourists who've come to see fields filled with dead people would probably want to shoot things right? You know, since they're in the mood and all. Who doesn't get revved up about killing after hearing a bunch of genocide stories?

They're actually kinda beautiful, up close like this.

Not up for killing beef? Maybe you prefer white meat. No problem. Just grab a chicken. They're faster than cows, and less expensive at just $15 USD a piece.

For more worldly terrors, check out The 8 Most Terrifying Restaurants from Around the World. Or check out The 5 Most Terrifying Rites of Manhood from Around the World. And don't forget to visit Cracked.com's Top Picks to see what you're mother wouldn't want you to see.