Why the Ninja Turtles' Master Splinter Was a Cult Leader

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Evan Schrodek:	Editor	Michael Cox:	Director of Photography
Katie Walker:	Director of Photography	Mark Witte:	Sound
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The Cracked Staff research around the clock to bring you engaging facts and insightful opinions that edify and entertain. They also dick around at their desks a lot and argue like whiny babies. We filmed the latter.

Today's Topic

Why the Ninja Turtles' Master Splinter Was a Cult Leader

Playing Next:

Previously Viewed:

Leonardo Da Vinci: History's Most Unexpected Supervillain

Why the Ending of 'Star Wars' is Secretly Kind of Dumb

4 Tiny Creatures That Prove Camping Isn't Worth It

Terminator 2: Great Movie, Terrible Sequel

Everyone's Favorite 'Star Wars' Character (Sucks at His Job)

The Awful Truth about Movies 'Based on a True Story'

The Awful Secret Implied by The Dark Knight Trilogy

How Classic Disney Movies Made an Entire Generation Suck

Why 'The Wizard of Oz' is More Hardcore Than 'The Wire'

The Horrifying Truth About Life in 'The Jetsons' Universe

The Scientific Explanation for People Who Believe in Ghosts

Why It's Time to Stop Pretending Zombies Are Scary

Why the Ninja Turtles' Master Splinter Was a Cult Leader

Why the Ghostbusters Are Secretly The Bad Guys

Why Gandalf Is the Most Overrated Wizard Ever

Video Game Battle of the Sexes: Halo vs. Metroid

Why the Good Guys in 'Star Fox' Are on a Suicide Mission

The Terrible Truth 'Star Wars' Fans Can't Admit

Why Iron Man Is Objectively Better Than Batman

3 Ways the WWE Invented Modern Professional Sports

Why 'The NeverEnding Story' Is Actually Buddhist Propaganda

The Horrifying Deleted Timeline from 'Back to the Future'

4 Things Dancing Can Tell You About Sex