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113 Comments

Recent Votes | Show Profanity
  1. Xlanar

    • +9

    Did Cody just eat a cigarette?

    Reply
  2. Emillypoter

    • -30

    My friends told me about---onenightcupid.c/o/m--. She told me it is the best place to seek casual fun and short-term relationship. I have tried. It is fantastic. There are tens of thousands cute guys and pretty girls. You wanna get laid tonight? Come in and give it a shot, you will find someone you like there. Have fun! O_O

    Reply
    1. Freeze bitches

      • +5

      I know that you are not a real person, and are simply a spambot, I feel compelled by the audacity of your shameless profiteering to insult you. However the English language has not developed an insult dreadful enough to encompass my hatred.
      With that in mind, I have created my own language and will insult in that.
      Sglurble-duble, masketed blaggaskina, gurble natch, insigna.

      I hope you are ashamed of yourself.

  3. johnnyever

    • -6

    Now, hear me out here. Cody's face reminds me of genitals. Am I alone here? His face is not only pale, but seems to get paler where the hair starts, and the hair looks like pubes. It's like his head is one big testicle. Go back and see for yourself.

    Reply Hide All See All 3 Replies
    1. Malfeasinator

      • +26

      Some thoughts should really be kept to yourself. This was one of them.

    2. BlakeTahoe

      • +13

      you're just the type of guy who sees genitals in everyone's faces arent you?.......also id call one of those medical shows on TLC i bet you're the first person to even HAVE that disorder(was aspergers too clich'e for you?)

  4. eupheminstic

    • +2

    The guy in the ridiculously ill-suited dragon tattoo... so adorable

    Reply
  5. dplock

    • 0

    one can find interesting things anywhere if they go looking for it, why do they have to inject falsehood into reality?

    Reply
  6. FladBagazine

    • +13

    "I went to an open casting call."

    One of at least three parts that I laughed at like an idiot.

    Reply
    1. Amirtes

      • +1

      That makes a lot more sense. For some reason I thought Bowie said, "I went to an open casket."

    2. Kamikazi

      • 0

      ^^^ haha me too. I was like, ...what?

  7. Luciamartin

    • -12

    Life is sometimes boring. Have you ever felt that something wonderful should be injected? Come--Onenightcupid.C/0/M--, you are bound to find your saucy match with hundreds of thousands of cute guys and pretty girls from around the world eager for hookups, one night stands, and discreet affairs!

    Reply
    1. loudandstupid

      • +19

      Do you have volcanoes?

  8. Schaghticokekid

    • +8

    Command & Conquer... A m***********g VOLCANO

    Reply
  9. ksbarnet

    • +28

    They had Soren mention an open casting call and didn't find a way to include his beautiful, beautiful head shot? For shame, Cracked. For shame.

    Reply
    1. Ennuibot

      • +4

      They knew that, by now, they didn't have to. Everybody immediately imagined it anyway.

  10. Cruel

    • +3

    Wow, I totally heard Command & Conquer: Generals music.

    Reply
  11. ostrichlord1123

    • +20

    This really was a tour de force for Swaim's mustache.

    Reply
  12. homar1dz

    • +2

    Cast funeral an hour after the premiere? I reckon they won't last past the first commercial break.

    Reply
  13. cocofireah

    • 0

    cool

    Reply
  14. Rumpelforeskin

    • +18

    Swaim saying "a lot of folk riding on this, a lot of folk" and Cody eating a cigarette were lol moments for me.

    Reply
    1. SkynetExMachina

      • 0

      edit

  15. dream001

    • -15

    Well, everyone knows that gilrs exceeding the height of 5'9'' are super cool and crazy s exy. Check out this: -- 【T A l l C H A T .℃ ō m 】--, many t all girls or guys like date on it.5874587 4

    Reply
    1. SkynetExMachina

      • +17

      "...I don't care what color hair is growing on her head
      She doesn't have to be a sight to see
      It don't matter if she's fat or if she's good in bed
      Just as long as she is just as long as me

      Took an ad out in the paper with my picture and some prose
      It said tall and lonely lover seeking same
      Combed my hair and got a shave and bought a long stemmed thornless rose
      When my picture ran my head was out of frame..."

    2. SlightlySane865

      • +4

      It's...beautiful.

  16. Daviticus

    • 0

    Did Cody remind anyone else of SuperEd86 in this?:)

    Reply
  17. TheRandomOne

    • +19

    I laughed at the guy with the crazy beard, because it's true - there's always a guy with a crazy beard on those shows.

    Reply
  18. CasusUniversum

    • +15

    Aw, I thought it was another Lonny.

    Reply
  19. kvn8907

    • 0

    I think that music's from Command and Conquer: Generals.

    Reply
  20. Rocketmel

    • +4

    hilarious!! make it a series...please please please!

    Reply
    1. Malfeasinator

      • +10

      I can throw out a few ideas, feel free to steal them, anyone: outer space hot air balloon race, twenty dudes living in a walk-in refridgerator, clown car wars, dungeon masters; and yes that's exactly what you think it is - people trying to act hard about their tabletop roleplaying games, Iron Dishwasher. I've got a few others I'd say but be afraid they'd actually do (like Daycare Wars).

    2. Xlanar

      • +1

      Malfeasinator, you are a genius.

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