The Battle of H-Town
Buy Season One of Agents of Cracked on DVD right here and then do it again tomorrow. And again and again. You'll never want to stop.It feels so good.
- Episodes
- Cast and Crew
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The End Of The Beginning
956,847 views -
The Trial of Dr. Baby
288,803 views -
The Revenge of Roboface
297,558 views -
The Tragedy of the Fightin' Hogs
264,159 views -
The Web of Sites
338,516 views -
The Algorithm of Alan Rickman
231,021 views -
The Curse of the Idol
248,066 views -
The Parable of the Pumping Stallion
203,644 views -
The Secret of Rainbow Bridge
379,085 views -
The Battle of H-Town
301,239 views -
The Case of the Sodomized Corpse
242,900 views -
The Mystery of the Ladies' Room
205,598 views -
The Beginning of the End
238,015 views -
The End
358,178 views
| Randall Maynard | Sound/Producer | Billy Sullivan | Lighting |
| Mike Shawver | Lighting | John Conway | Lighting |
| Nick Walker | Lighting | Daniel O'Brien | Dan |
| Michael Swaim | Michael | Oren Katzeff | Chief |
| Abe Epperson | Director | Soren Bowie | T-Bone |
| Matt Barrs | Producer/Stewart | Lisa Marie King | Mandy |
113 Comments
As Agents of Cracked, Dan O'Brien and Michael Swaim must face anything the world of internet comedy can throw at them. Additionally, Dan O'Brien must face anything Michael Swaim throws at him, which is usually a thin slurry of garbage-water and hair he mixes up in his garage for that express purpose. Incidentally, if anyone reading this is hiring copy writers, Daniel O'Brien is currently seeking a new position in literally any field.
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Haha! The "Diabeetus Joos" f*****g killed me.
ReplyI know! Hahaha
Heroin on Cracked. I'm sorry. I'm sorry I just had to say that. I'm bopped outta my fuckin' mind right now...
ReplySqueaky monkey, the blueberry shakes,
Reply"Well you can count my balls...there's like, well you can figure out the rest."-Swaim's thought process is somewhat funny and inherently retarded at the same time
ReplyI really, REALLY hate the Bing ads, they load at full volume and are profoundly disrupting. Congratulations, Bing, you've created an ad which makes me even less likely to use your product.
ReplyBing ads are awful. They need give up already.
cool dudes
ReplyThey need to make that thing on the end into a poster.
ReplyPrint screen, copy into paint, go to kinkos. Problem solved.
I love Panic!
ReplyHe injected the heroin into an apple and then ate it. He failed to inject himself with anything. Why would you expect the effect to still be instantaneous? It's not like people shoot up instead of swallowing because they enjoy sticking needles in their veins.
Reply Hide All See All 4 RepliesI forgot that this was a doc*mentary based on real events, rather than a web comedy series on a comedy site. Full of comedy. Your nitpicking cleared that right up for me. ;-)
Wow they censored the 'u' in doc*mentary
Hey, Swaim is a crazy idiot. He probably just has some kind of magic-feather-mind-makes-it-real thing going on.
Swallowing heroin means it'll take about 5 minutes to hit you. And then, it'll come on slowly and gradually. Shooting it means it'll come on rather quickly. Within a couple of seconds, you'll get a funny taste in the back of your throat. Within about 20 more seconds you'll feel the heroin start doing its evil, sensual work on your being...
Or so I've heard...
Bottom line is that anyone who has ever injected heroin, can't bring themselves to do it any other way after that. They feel it's a waste. Snorting it? Waste! Swallowing? Waste! Smoking it? Waste!!! They're compelled to put it in their arm. No veins left there? No worries, shoot it in the neck! Can't get the vein there? Shoot it in the feet (though any kind of injection administered intravenously and below the waiste massively increases the chance of a blood clot forming). I knew one man, who had collapsed so many of his veins that the only place left for him to shoot into was his penis. But since he was more interested in heroin than girls, he wasn't concerned that it had made him impotent.
Take heed boys and girls!!! Even though heroin might be the best experience you ever have in your life, one hit, and you'll want it for the rest of your life, with a craving that defies all reason.
Peace out
Mike's "Sangwidch" is just two pieces of bread. Surprisingly appropriate.
ReplyI want some of MIKE'S Diabeetus Joos!!!
ReplySkeeter blood, smurf jizz. Love it.
ReplyWhy is it that every icon screenshot for this series makes it look like Dan is entranced by the passionate makeout Michael is about to pull him into?
ReplyIt makes for some disappointment, you know.
Keep waiting. It will not ultimately disappoint.
Oh the heroin-related goofs! I won't even go into it. What happened to immersing oneself in dope fiend literature? Do people not do that anymore?
ReplyYeah!!! I mean; Come on, Dan and Mike!!!! If you're going to do heroin related skits, at least have the integrity to do lots of heroin first, so that you can know what it's like...
Actually from the penultimate scene, it would appear that you HAVE!! Kudos, lads. :D
Peace out :D
Hang on...
The "I shyt myself" part. That doesn't 'jive' with the heroin groove. Heroin (and all opiates) cause rectal faliure. Which apart from sounding kinda funny in a juvenile kinda way, means that your rectal temperature drops and the peristaltic motion ceases in the lower portion of the large intestine. In other words, heroin makes you constipated. No one's going to s**t themselves while stoned. They very well might do it as the smack is wearing off/ has worn off, but not 10 minutes after eating a smack apple...
Come one Mike... Don't make me take back my "Funniest person alive" impression of you...
Peace out :D
@DeadThingsMikey:
ReplyI lol'd.
It's funny, these are the sorts of videos you don't think you'll like, but then you watch one and decide; 'Well, all right. That one was okay. But I betthe next one sucks.'
So you watch that one and you think; 'Okay, that one was pretty good too. But the *next* one...'
And then you find yourself watching and rewatching all of them, giggling uncontrllably each time at all the same parts.
*Thats* a sign of good entertainment.
I'm bopping right now and, god help me, I don't wanna stop.
Reply"Well, if you count my balls...well, you can figure out the rest."
ReplyClassic.
I can't see these videos. They load, but nothing happen and I can't click anything. What? Why? Why? Horses? What? Why? Help?
Replydan i already saw ur powerpoint and i s**t in it. i s**t right in it.LOLOMFG cant wait till 2morrow for the new one,hilarious
ReplyMy power POINT is shuddup. Bahahaa.
Reply