The Algorithm of Alan Rickman

"The Honorable Judge Failure." By: Agents of Cracked | Nov. 16, 2009 | 105,574 views
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Agents of Cracked is Cracked.com's first original web series created by Abe Epperson, Daniel O'Brien and Michael Swaim.

Michael Swaim is a loose cannon with unorthodox methods and balls to match. Daniel O'Brien wears glasses. As Agents of Cracked, they're trained to handle anything the world of internet comedy throws at them, but can they handle...being partners!? Tune in to Cracked.com every weekday for a series as wildly original as it is not derivative of the Lethal Weapon franchise.



Michael Swaim Hosted Cracked TV before a withering sex scandal forced him off the air. Now he's back, with a new 'tude and fresh wax job. Also Cracked TV is still on. Congratulations on reading this: YOU HAVE LEARNED NOTHING.

Daniel O'Brien The Assistant Editor of Cracked.com, his column runs every Friday and should not be read by children (or most adults). He spends his free time petitioning to bring Dunkin Donuts to California.

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Abe Epperson Abe has begun a burgeoning career as Michael's exclusive camera man, swearing an oath to record his exploits and whereabouts 24 hours a day. He recently met Dan, who has recently appeared more frequently in Michael's life. Often, Abe is found on dark London streets howling and searching for his long, lost (invisible) love. He also found the camera used to shoot the series.

Lisa Marie King Lisa is a Los Angeles based actress and math goddess. She is a graduate of the UC San Diego Department of Theatre, the British American Dramatic Academy, and South Coast Repertory's Professional Acting Program. She has appeared in over 60 plays and musicals, as well as the feature film, Redlight, Greenlight. Her hobbies include improv, Shakespeare, and calculus.

Soren Bowie Soren is a Los Angeles based writer and part-time contributor to Cracked.com. He used to perform improv and sketch comedy regularly with the group The Horrible Sickness but has since allowed the dream to die. He works as the lone editor for the outdoors website trails.com and spends his free time rock climbing, hiking, chopping wood and making out.

Oren J.Katzeff Oren is a lawyer, comedian, and Jewish - yes, it doesn't get more redundant than that. He is the General Manager of Cracked.com, so playing the role of The Chief in Agents of Cracked didn't require much of a character study for him. He spends his free time thinking about working out, writing jokes that he'll never use on stage, and rejecting Facebook friendship requests from his family.


Randall Baltzar, Rory Dering, Lisa King, Matt Barrs, Ryan Ricketts, Mike Cox, Stefanie Meilinger, April Warren, Anna Roth, and Lara Pickle


Matt Barrs, Randall Baltzar, Mike Cox, Nick Walker, Michael Shawver, John Conway


Tom O'Brien
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This is the best thing to ever happen on cracked(in my opinion). Opinion war time!!!!!!! [lie]

11/20/2009 11:31:33 PM
Danhimself7

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11/19/2009 05:11:31 PM
zhangwy1120

Proves once again that the best thing to have in your desk is candy.

11/17/2009 08:13:45 PM
Fuckaccounts

I love how stupid these are. I

11/17/2009 06:57:46 PM
ReneeIsMe2day

best one yet! keep it up!

11/17/2009 04:30:48 PM
Rog

glendoor42 - you shouldn't pick on Swaim like that. I mean, let's face it- "Swaim" is obviously a pseudonym... and not a very good one at that. He obviously meant "SWIM", which is drug-lingo for "Someone Who Isn't Me" and accidentally managed to spell it with an "A" for no apparent reason. That's par the case for doped-up retarded people. This poor mongoloid needs our sympathy, not our derision.

11/17/2009 12:45:44 PM
CohibaMan

frankdisalvo: Yeah, he's like a funnier Jim Carrey, only much better and much less like Jim Carrey.

11/17/2009 12:43:32 PM
DoubleG

Gasp* I heard he drinks Tigerblood Milkshakes for breakfast!

11/17/2009 09:46:07 AM
DisreSpectre

The look on Swaim's face after he says he's going to shoot everyone is so funny.

11/17/2009 08:53:53 AM
frankdisalvo

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11/17/2009 04:57:10 AM
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11/17/2009 04:25:51 AM
bianfuer

Meh. I miss Lex.

11/17/2009 01:57:42 AM
MylesLong

I laughed outright several times while watching this one. Swaim and DOB are really hitting their stride, I think. Keep it up, boys!

11/17/2009 12:53:34 AM
Dierdre

Hey, on second time viewing i noticed Swaim has a sign on the inside of his desk area around 0:32 called "Reasons to be a pilot". Found it hilarious :)

11/17/2009 12:41:46 AM
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11/17/2009 12:31:54 AM
cherry668

Scroll way down and Pedgerow called it. Also, I think I'm actually starting to like glendoor42. Sort of. Hey my headset broke. Was that satan?

11/17/2009 12:22:50 AM
Aprilizer

let herstory decide... hahahahaha

11/16/2009 10:51:42 PM
camfa

yay for beezelboss' first encounter with sarcasm

11/16/2009 09:50:00 PM
theaccount77

@glendoor42: You don't "have" to watch these videos, you know. You could just...y'know...not click the link. Or, failing that, just hit the little "x" in the upper right of your screen rather than wasting about 5 minutes writing a complaint complete with a reference link.

11/16/2009 09:36:32 PM
Beezelboss

Love how Swaim undoes his fly as he says "consider this my two week's notice." And his face as he says "Shoot everyone." Classic

11/16/2009 09:35:50 PM
AaronJ
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