7.8.9: Because Today Should Have Its Own Retarded Movie

Awesome! Also, I didn't know 7 was a horrific snake-demon thing. Hm. Good thing my lucky number is 4.

09/21/2009 08:53:00 PM

Caeod

This trailer is way longer than it should be. I have a feeling they stretched it just so they could use all the number jokes they had.

09/15/2009 04:02:00 PM

CCCity

I would so love to see this movie.

08/22/2009 02:48:00 AM

alleyzoey3

i always forget like halfway through that this isn't actualy a movie >.

08/18/2009 10:54:00 AM

Hardman

About halfway through that, after forgetting it was a joke, for about a quarter of a second, I thought, wow, I might see this.

08/12/2009 03:34:00 PM

lanoweffect

I've watched this for the hundredth time, and I still marvel at how I was unable to see the joke in this sketch until the end, when the little girl asks her father the riddle. Also, is there any chance of buying this as a download for my mp3 player? Yes, I love it that much!

08/11/2009 08:37:00 PM

jac666

i'd watch it

08/06/2009 02:58:00 AM

watuppig

so clever. for some reason i love the "9 is dead, 6 went into hiding" part.

08/01/2009 04:20:00 PM

coleslaf

I'd see it

07/31/2009 11:16:00 AM

Lady_Becquerel

that was hilarious. your days are numbered. aahhh perfect.

07/24/2009 01:09:00 AM

gaybriel

So. Fucking. Perfect. I love you.

07/23/2009 11:14:00 AM

Maggadan

Amazing, perfect and awesome. Well done.

07/20/2009 05:56:00 PM

guitarfaces

That was totally amazing, such an accurate parody of horror movie trailers as well. The one scary-thing-jump-out bit right at the end when you think it's finished, the little girl singing a song, the cut back for a final one-liner, the random bits of dialogue showing how "intense" everything is. Just perfect.

07/20/2009 04:48:00 AM

jackpayne

See, this is what would be in theaters if that writer's strike never ended.

07/17/2009 06:32:00 PM

seven_burritos

LMAO oh my god. it's sad that i jumped when the evil seven attacked. ...i'd see it.

07/16/2009 05:32:00 PM

trish

I'd go and see it. But then I went to see Twighlight. They SPARKLE!

07/16/2009 07:51:00 AM

Deceptacon

Wahahahah this could be something made by hollywood :P they are retarded to boot nowadayts anywyas.

07/16/2009 03:48:00 AM

Alexicon

isn't that the fat kid from Jurassic Park?

07/16/2009 01:28:00 AM

Dondadon

If the video and sound quality were better that would be exactly like a real movie trailer. I am honestly surprised no one at Hollywood thought of this, it seems just like the kind of thing they would jump all over.

07/15/2009 10:07:00 PM

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07/15/2009 07:41:00 PM

IwasCrackedYa

DUUDe i would SSOOO watch that =D

07/15/2009 04:35:00 PM

charmella

man, I'd rather go watch this movie than "knowing"

07/15/2009 08:44:00 AM

marcocen

great acting. equaly awesome quality!

07/15/2009 08:18:00 AM

lula_mae

"Your days are numbered" Excellent! Good production value.

07/15/2009 05:52:00 AM

HerrBlod

Serious quality and I'd say the length is absolutely right.

07/14/2009 07:12:00 PM

hoopynotch

If it weren't for the slapstick moments, this would look authentic. Nice job with hellacious production value.

07/14/2009 05:51:00 PM

ElNimrodo

That was probably just about the best thing ever.

07/14/2009 09:29:00 AM

artstsym

That was awesome! The audio has to be re-recorded. Most of the videos here suffer from using the mic on the cam, instead of anything else. Boom mic or Lav Mic would make a world of difference. Those might be hard to come by, but just plug any mic into your comp, and redo the voice work. With a video done this well, it's a shame not to see it complete. Great job in every other way though!

07/14/2009 07:53:00 AM

Cephied

Doctor of Arithmetic? Sweet heavens is that hilarious!!! Oh, and having the little girl sing an innocent child's song at the end is beautifully classic horror movie trailer 101. Luv'd it!!!

07/13/2009 12:22:00 PM

Zenobia

hahahah, this was really funny and really well edited.

07/13/2009 11:55:00 AM

GenericHuman

There is a legit site (syphtr.com) that tells directors/reps about "unknown" actors - decent move for us who are still struggling, just FYI.

07/13/2009 11:40:00 AM

Elisabeth09

well that was a waste of my fucking life garh ah well i would have spent it watching porn and crying anyway

07/12/2009 06:15:00 PM

srthc

where is the fucking funny? SHOW ME THE FUNNY!!!!!

07/12/2009 04:40:00 PM

deimudda

good show old chap

07/12/2009 01:32:00 PM

MamPajama

Only available in America. The rest of the world has to wait 30 days, apart from Japan, who got it in early August 2 years ago...

07/11/2009 04:15:00 PM

DHeadshot

All i can say is STANDING OVATION MOTHERFUCKER!!!

07/11/2009 10:53:00 AM

Aakash19

Made more sense then Number 23, that's for damn sure.

07/11/2009 01:36:00 AM

Bonegina

i watched it again, please make this movie i am begging you it looks amazing

07/10/2009 11:40:00 PM

Hardman

dude... that was grade A++++ i mean really it got me into it, made me think it was a real film, you guys did a great job.

07/10/2009 11:36:00 PM

Hardman

clean up the sound and this gets a + to it's A.

07/10/2009 08:18:00 AM

aquiethuman

SOUND EDIT! Guys, it's annoying! The first entrance of the FBI agent is great, because we can hear his deep voice, why don't you stick to it? The girl says something that's barely audible, then there's the agent back and without the sound he had in the first part he's half the man. Also, too long. It's like telling the joke again and again.

07/10/2009 03:18:00 AM

plaster

Geez, it took me a minute in (and however long beforehand) to get/remember the "joke". The credits audio is prolly the most "yup...yup" of it all. Little kids singing little kid songs slowed down. Yeash, sing 'em normal and it's homicidally annoying, do it slow and you get homicidally paranoid... of homicide. Beh, fuck kids (not THAT way, jeebus).

07/10/2009 01:33:00 AM

TJF588

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07/10/2009 12:26:00 AM

ppmao

That was sweet

07/09/2009 05:11:00 PM

IWantToComment

What a disgusting title choice.

07/09/2009 01:45:00 PM

jennifer.z

As soon as I saw the 9 with bite marks, I knew what it was. Pretty clever, but maybe a little too long.

07/09/2009 06:52:00 AM

LexTaliones

No...words. Should've sent a poet...with a PhD in Arithmetic. I guess some people might think it was too long, but I think those people were just in a hurry to click on another video or type their name into Google or whatever it is you speed demons do when you're browsing the web and not being productive. Me, I take things slow, enjoy them, and laugh a lot more for it. This video was hilarious, dare I say...dongtacular, and packed in a lot of old chiches that flowed so well, I honestly forgot it was a joke at one point. Epic win, A++, would buy from again, a winnar is you, all that good stuff.

07/09/2009 04:28:00 AM

StatutoryGrape

I remember hearing the "Seven ate Nine" joke as a 7 year old (coincidence?(sp?)) and not getting it. Now, I can see how they could make it into a movie, a prequel to the #23, or Se7en, or 13 Going on 30. Beware what you give to Hollywood to think of, for 2012 will come (and it will)... and the whole "growing watermellons from eating the seeds" freaked me out also... perhaps a movie, "Killer Mellons" (w/tittys).

07/09/2009 02:48:00 AM

The-Dum-Guy

It took me way too long to realize this was the Seven ate Nine joke. I kinda feel like a dick now.

07/09/2009 12:06:00 AM

BrundleFly

that looks like a trailer for knowing...

07/08/2009 11:42:00 PM

BryanGoodtimes

I would watch that movie. This trailer was epic.

07/08/2009 11:25:00 PM

Sualocin

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07/08/2009 11:01:00 PM

veronica5

Did you note the gun has the same shape as the number 7?

07/08/2009 10:56:00 PM

lammel

LOL, "bad combinations" hahahahahahahahaha!!

07/08/2009 10:50:00 PM

$Jon$

"Your days are numbered" Lol, that was great, they probably tried to make that movie

07/08/2009 09:31:00 PM

gordofrog

Haha, well done. I was actually scared at the end of it!

07/08/2009 08:52:00 PM

caniac0406

That was definitely....a thing...

07/08/2009 08:47:00 PM

uscbadfish

I thought this was really well done. Great job. The whole Ph.D in arithmetic thing was a spot on parody of movies about math.

07/08/2009 08:12:00 PM

sylak

7/8/9 won't be until a month. Silly Americans.

07/08/2009 08:04:00 PM

Kr1s

I actually would watch this movie...

07/08/2009 07:40:00 PM

CJVercetti

cant be worst than transformers 2

07/08/2009 07:00:00 PM

Cockonutpete

I keep watching this over and over (no I don't have a life), and it struck me: maybe this could turned into a movie that satirizes all the other dumb number movies. I think a little tongue in cheek would do them good.

07/08/2009 06:36:00 PM

jac666

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07/08/2009 06:08:00 PM

sugarbaby2009

God, more forced video ads. I'd like to watch videos in more places than YouTube but between getting commercials crammed down my throat here and Google Chrome occasionally telling me EbaumsWorld is a malicious site, I'm going to be left little choice.

07/08/2009 05:49:00 PM

PhoenixRedeemer

Very nicely done.

07/08/2009 05:31:00 PM

TheDarkFlame

HOLY SHIT THAT WAS AWESOME!

07/08/2009 05:14:00 PM

ice-grip

Oops, i meant it's not the 8th anymore. Damn backwards date, confusing me again!!

07/08/2009 05:02:00 PM

lux

If the haters and whingey bitches wanted to get REALLY technical about the problem with the date being backwards, here in Australia it's not even the 7th anymore... so the title referring to "today" is incorrect. Ha! But luckily, most of us understand that our American friends have different ways of doing things (having been bombarded with their culture via television, movies and music for the last fifty years), and we recognise the backward date in order to get the joke, then smile and move on. Ah. Now isn't that better?

07/08/2009 04:51:00 PM

lux

This video is really grt!! See a wide collection of videos in www.uploaded.tv

07/08/2009 04:44:00 PM

welcomeravi

As soon as my sister sent me a text about 04:05 07/08/09, I immediately thought of this video. And lost my shit. AGAIN. Maaaybe a bit lenghty, but funny as hell. kudos.

07/08/2009 04:21:00 PM

Chojinra

10/10. Haha, "PhD in Arithmetic." I lost my shit at "Then you'll need this."

07/08/2009 03:35:00 PM

Actionopoly

Gil11, it's not the lack of intelligence, it's just a joke stretched out too much. Maybe your attention span lets you forget what you were watching so you can enjoy the same joke for hours.

07/08/2009 03:28:00 PM

Alezul

I have I'd like to say about this, but I'll keep it short and simple. It was funny just because of the fact it parodies every typical element found in almost every "secret mystery/disaster/conspiracy/treasure/bizarre-shit-happening" movie made in the last few years. Throw in some jokes that are so obvious and cheesy that you can't help laugh out loud at them (or at least crack a small smile), and you've got this, a damn good video. Only problem I had was with the sound near the end, but meh, its not Hollywood. Speaking of Hollywood, I think the people complaining about the length have never gone to the theater with a group of people who insist on making it early, just in time for the trailers.

07/08/2009 03:27:00 PM

AyteeSics

Brilliant movie trailer, I'd actually love to watch it as this should be a lot better than all the other bad number movies they've made.

07/08/2009 03:11:00 PM

ruff1298

Hey Gabriel_Kalaia. This could totally work in every country that uses a logical date signature. You just have 7.8.9 on 7 August instead of July 8. Happy now? BTW, awesome little film. didn't think it was too long, and it was certainly as hilarious can be expected when re-hashing a well-worn and stale joke. 2TU.

07/08/2009 03:04:00 PM

jac666

Seriously, what a bunch of losers complaining about it being "too long" Sorry if your minuscule attention spans were unable to cope past one minute of content. The video was fantastic. Quite lulzy, I must admit.

07/08/2009 02:57:00 PM

Gil11

Maybe a little too long (not as much a dealbreaker for me as some people have been saying), but very awesome. The epic snort I released on the very last line hurt my breathing parts.

07/08/2009 02:16:00 PM

DoofusMagnus

Better than the comedy crap coming outta theaters these days. Here is my 10$ and yes I want the Bucket and extra butter please.

07/08/2009 01:59:00 PM

4thSurvivor

Meh, not spectacular enough, get michael bay to re-edit it.

07/08/2009 01:56:00 PM

zmoll

No joke, I would actually watch this. It couldn't be any worse than 23.

07/08/2009 01:53:00 PM

Tartra

fucking wonderful...well done.

07/08/2009 01:51:00 PM

shrtblack

nice

07/08/2009 01:48:00 PM

bouchedaggery

Why are fake trailers always at least a minute longer than actual trailers?? They're also a minute worse.

07/08/2009 01:47:00 PM

Rrinman

Hahaha, actually looked like a real movie. So very glad it's not. Why do most horror movies have to have a kiddy rhyme in it?

07/08/2009 01:47:00 PM

SilverHearted

Nice!

07/08/2009 01:41:00 PM

lastfirstborn

You know what would have made this better? Shave about 3 minutes off of it. That should do the trick.

07/08/2009 01:15:00 PM

mattifikation

One derful

07/08/2009 01:14:00 PM

DrCogSci

WAY way too long, I got bored. Wasn't even very funny.

07/08/2009 01:03:00 PM

hazzardous

Glorious!

07/08/2009 12:38:00 PM

necrognome

There's a reason why they keep movie trailers to about 2 minutes long.

07/08/2009 12:12:00 PM

murder_face

07/08/09 killed me.

07/08/2009 12:01:00 PM

G-Stone

Love it.Although, I was hoping for an explosion at the end.

07/08/2009 12:00:00 PM

Disfigurine

The sad part is that Hollywood has actually made several similar movies. Just look at 23, Knowing and 2012.

07/08/2009 11:45:00 AM

Kr1s

If this hadn't been on cracked, I honestly would've thought this was a real retarded movie.

07/08/2009 11:44:00 AM

ern19

yay http://www.ihateyounatalie.com/?id=1719960

07/08/2009 11:23:00 AM

riccidemond

OMG todays my birthday... god dammit im turning 10

07/08/2009 11:02:00 AM

lolocaust

THE PWOT HAPPINESS GENERATOR � Reply #444 on: May 20, 2009, 02:49 PM � Why is six afraid of seven? Because he heard that seven ate nine.

07/08/2009 10:38:00 AM

shoddytoddler

hahahahaha that was great - some damn fine acting too.

07/08/2009 10:25:00 AM

mGolos

I would pay to see this.

07/08/2009 10:08:00 AM

fabledbulbasaur

It would have been nice if the title didn't give away the punchline. As a rather stupid person, I wouldn't have seen it coming if I hadn't had it explained to me before the video even started. Also, the song sung by the child at the end should have been something inappropriate. That way, you'd be taking a cliche and making a joke of it, rather than just rehashing it.

07/08/2009 10:03:00 AM

Pedgerow

Make this film.

07/08/2009 09:56:00 AM

Jaeger2401

i started LMAOing when he said the cheesiest phrase he could've thought off "Your days are numbered" :D

07/08/2009 09:52:00 AM

imTKA

For our readers in other countries - just wait a month.

07/08/2009 09:44:00 AM

bbqplatypus

I thought it was really good and funny and just the right length

07/08/2009 09:18:00 AM

Vegemighty

brilliant

07/08/2009 09:17:00 AM

littlerudi08043

Really good, but kinda long.

07/08/2009 08:59:00 AM

Supermutant

Fuck you, Englishman. Give us back Norther Ireland!

07/08/2009 08:53:00 AM

Otrola24

Gabriel_Kalaia, who cares? I don't. This video was so boring. If I wanted to watch a dumb trailer that isn't funny I'd just go to the movie theater.

07/08/2009 08:40:00 AM

mr1swift

This had incredible production values- way to step up the game, Cracked. This looked totally legit. I'm headed to the theater to get in line right now.

07/08/2009 08:17:00 AM

CapnBojiggity

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07/08/2009 08:11:00 AM

brownsauce

Pretty good, but it should have been shorter.

07/08/2009 08:03:00 AM

QuankersJenkins

This needs to become a movie. And Nicolas Cage needs to be the star.

07/08/2009 07:53:00 AM

SIMM0NS77

OMG. I want to see this film. this was awesome.

07/08/2009 07:46:00 AM

yesbutnotyou

@Irish89 we typically would say "July 8th"

07/08/2009 07:40:00 AM

majin88

lmfao, what a brilliant film. I would pay so much to watch this.

07/08/2009 07:27:00 AM

Laurara

OHMYGOSH. I want to watch this movie SO FREAKING HARD.

07/08/2009 07:15:00 AM

Pliny

The premise will work fine in England. Ww'll just have to wait until August 7th.

07/08/2009 07:01:00 AM

Spider

Also, England's 7/7 brings both communities together in ensuring there is no misunderstanding about the date. I have a question for you americans out there, when you're talking with your words, do you guys say "it's July 8th" or "it's the 8th of July?"

07/08/2009 06:57:00 AM

Irish89

i love the little girl's song at the end... awesome parody lol

07/08/2009 06:56:00 AM

Bigcock_Obama

Also, '9/11' in England (if we weren't so perceptive) would mean 'the 9th of November', which is my friend's birthday. Hardly a day of remembrance though.

07/08/2009 06:35:00 AM

Gabriel_Kalaia

Err, unfortunately that premise wouldn't work in England, or Europe for that matter. We do this CRAZY thing where we put the DAY before the MONTH, because, you know, that tends to be the more important of the two, since if you don't know what month it is, you're kinda unobservant. Basically it makes more sense to put the number that changes DAILY at the beginning. Yes I hope to start a comment war about the correctness of the English language (which means I am currently spell checking EVERY word) and I would like to see where this ends up. And yes, I am bored. And no, I do not think it wrong to start a sentence with 'and', because this is a casual comment. And because, fuck you. Amusing parody BTW. FTW and all that.

07/08/2009 06:32:00 AM

Gabriel_Kalaia

Not as good as the usual videos, the jokes weren't that funny and the premise needs work. Overall I'm just dissapointed, I expect better next time kid.

07/08/2009 06:32:00 AM

Nemmo

First of all, It's not exhilirating being first. I've done it twice already without even raising an eyebrow. Secondly, no one remembers you being first. Thirdly, well done Cracked.

07/08/2009 06:31:00 AM

reztoc

What DapperDavela said.

07/08/2009 06:31:00 AM

mournblade

Wow...well....that looked like it had a lot of work put into it. While the video was well done the joke wasn't funny. "A" for effort though.

07/08/2009 06:26:00 AM

DapperDaveIa

That would be funny if people hadn't actually made this movie like 3 times in the past year; as such, it's just depressing. Nah still funny. But not funny ha ha

07/08/2009 06:20:00 AM