HBN: 4 Baffling Moments in the New Jonas Brothers "Song"

Kevin Jonas is adorable :3 I'd wreck him hardcore. I bet he'd cry after I'm done with him. Sexy. Also, Joe needs more Italian. Moar eyebrows.

10/03/2009 01:41:00 PM

SystemError

My mistake, he has type 1. Oh well.

09/11/2009 08:10:00 PM

DaddyTwoFoot

I thought for sure when he was talking about getting too much sugar he was going to make fun of Nick Jonas' type 2 diabetes.

09/11/2009 08:08:00 PM

DaddyTwoFoot

'hey, the jonas brother's purity rings are cool! Kids need good role models like them.' puppetweasley07 Ahahahahahahahahahaahhaahahahahahaahaahahahahaahahahahahahahahaah!

09/07/2009 06:25:00 PM

thecritic06

Am I the only one that thought this was a rip-off of Megadeth's Sweating Bullets video?

09/07/2009 02:15:00 PM

thefrizzlefry

Thanks. After watching that, I now have Down's syndrome.

09/06/2009 07:18:00 PM

fleshflayer

I'd say the Jonas Brothers are less like sugar and more like saccharine: artificially sweet, has a nasty aftertaste, passes right through you, and eating too much will give you cancer.

08/26/2009 12:01:00 PM

DonZabu

I cant believe how stupid the Jonas Brothers are. That's not paranoia. I'm guessing they may be thinking of schizophrenia.

08/17/2009 04:50:00 PM

lestrange5

hey, the jonas brother's purity rings are cool! Kids need good role models like them.

08/14/2009 06:35:00 PM

puppetweasley07

Here is a very interesting place ------------ Tallfinder Com -----------..I find many friends there and I share my life with them..many people there upload their nice pics there..hope you have fun..

06/30/2009 08:04:00 PM

cherry668

There is a legit site (syphtr) that tells directors/reps about "unknown" actors - decent move for us who are still struggling, just FYI.

06/28/2009 03:57:00 PM

Elisabeth09

Gladstone's grandson did a great job as Joe Jonas

06/20/2009 08:08:00 PM

Gregoclock

Is it bad that I thought that song was kinda catchy? I think I'll go have a dozen showers...

06/18/2009 03:00:00 PM

SickBoy

the night by Morphene

06/17/2009 06:07:00 AM

gigs1890

Whats the name of that song at the end of this video? Isn't it like the theme song for this series?

06/16/2009 11:12:00 AM

Spideycow

there like sugar very sweet very white and if u get 2 much of them ur r going 2 throw up lol

06/13/2009 07:33:00 PM

MartyBrodeur552

its funny how they used pretty much every other mental condition, disability, and illness EXCEPT paranoia in that video

06/12/2009 10:59:00 PM

Foxxytherian

That kid looks better than the Jonas brothers. In a platonic way, I mean.

06/12/2009 06:33:00 PM

Right_Hook12

The oldest jonas brother looks like he's going to start getting big & fat and go bald any minute.. And smell funny. Like cologne and fresh garbage. The other two look like they should be okay. Who's the Dad of the oldest one, Michael Eisner? It can't be the same father as the cute ones.. Ugly is waiting with a stick around the next corner for that kid. Poor oldest jonas brother, it's all down hill from here for you.

06/11/2009 12:21:00 PM

cjanderson

"Invisible chest bongos" laughed out loud at that.

06/11/2009 08:47:00 AM

mhazel95

There from new jersey? We are more fucked than i imagined

06/10/2009 07:07:00 PM

Shortround

Raine Archer Bad-ass surname. Bad-ass kid. He has a future man, better start making money off of the kid lols.

06/10/2009 04:27:00 PM

karlojey

is thet kid his? He looks just like him!

06/10/2009 08:31:00 AM

smartaleck

G-Stone is waaaay hotter than Joe Jonas.

06/10/2009 07:03:00 AM

SystemError

LOL air bongos

06/09/2009 08:44:00 AM

MartyBrodeur552

That cute little kid is going to grow up to be a good actor. ^^ Jonas Brothers=craptastic. I love you, Gladstone.

06/08/2009 09:37:00 PM

kitourahime

That kid is an awesome actor

06/08/2009 04:03:00 PM

Fry

Make fun of the Jonas Brothers some more. It makes me really, really happy.

06/08/2009 01:40:00 PM

lumaee

That little kid's got talent.

06/07/2009 04:47:00 PM

tmh1130

Keep it real G !

06/07/2009 11:55:00 AM

Robforfucksake

Clip Suggested by: Jennifer Bonesteel Best... surname... ever.

06/07/2009 05:03:00 AM

Haedrian

haha gman you just don't know when to quit do you? no matter what you've lost this one.

06/06/2009 06:00:00 PM

yos-wa

Whitepeople not all the things home school has done is favors for one thing I never really fit in with people and most of the time I was hiding from the 8th graders I am sorry if I was a little rash but I was referring to my old school sorry if I offended you. oh and also crap i spelt right ring not right wing ahh i look like an idiot. oh and awesome name Whitepeople I love it. but yeah I got carried away a bit.

06/06/2009 09:34:00 AM

TheGman

I must say, theGman, you have me pretty convinced of the quality of home schooling. As one of "the idiot students who at went there for all of there lives", public education obviously didn't do me the favors home schooling has done you. But I guess I'm just a "complete right ring nut job".

06/06/2009 08:41:00 AM

Whitepeople

"Hey girl check me out! I can get you spongebob's autograph!" lol that kid is so awesome.

06/06/2009 08:37:00 AM

mindmatter

I feel kind of bad for the Jonas Brothers. I do not like there music but if they got away from Disney and decided to do something unique they could survive as a band. Also was that a knock at home school in there somewhere I hate it when people do that I was home schooled in till the 6th grade and I went in and had Higher score on reading and math than most of the idiot students who at went there for all of there lives. That is the one thing that will set me off but also I acknowledge the fact that a lot of people who home school seem to be nut jobs like Andrew Schlafly who is a complete right ring nut job and is also such a bible thumper he will probably woh this is getting long never mind

06/06/2009 01:13:00 AM

TheGman

I'm glad little Joe Jonas pointed out that Gladstone looks like he has swine flu. He definitely looks terminal. I spent the first half of this video trying to think of a disease so I could post a comment that says "Gladstone looks like he has [Aids/cancer/Ebola/scurvy/typhoid/diphtheria] in this video."

06/04/2009 06:21:00 PM

Pedgerow

I would make a witty joke about Black Sabbath and te Jonas Brothers both having a song named "paranoid", but i got dumber after watching that music video.

06/04/2009 02:35:00 PM

malachi

Another pointless video http://www.alltimetvclassics.com/

06/04/2009 01:38:00 PM

alltimetvclass

Adults need bashing of this crap. I have a 10 year old daughter that I have to spend all my time and money to keep her ears off this and censor her to people who can write sensible lyrics. I'm doing a good job with the teen pop crap. Unfortunately, her mother is white trash that exposes her to "Retard Rap" Fuck "Chicken Noodle Soup". Fuck it harder than the Oxford.

06/04/2009 06:50:00 AM

pelcurus

/clap

06/04/2009 05:11:00 AM

aquiethuman

Bravo. Truly excellent.

06/04/2009 03:15:00 AM

Chubalub

Never mind. Found it there at the end.

06/03/2009 07:31:00 PM

TrapserCat

Where's my Morphine?

06/03/2009 07:27:00 PM

TrapserCat

you're my hero, gladstone.

06/03/2009 04:43:00 PM

endzone876

Funny vid..good work.seems i have watched it on a tall celeb site _____Tallmingle.C O M____ which is a hot site for all tall friends and tall singles. you can hook up with hot models or hansome guys there.

06/03/2009 09:47:00 AM

Shirleyxx

The part with the Jonas Engineering Lab was really funny, but I felt like this was a bit short. Slow news day?

06/03/2009 09:26:00 AM

sarge112

The kid's got chops! I agree, if by "kid" we mean the one that plays "Joe" and chops we mean acting skills--that little guy did a hell of job!

06/03/2009 06:39:00 AM

kenmoresquared

I'm blown away that Los Chivo's (The Luchadors) were in a Jonas Brothers video. I've been in the ring with those two and lost. I'm utterly ashamed.

06/03/2009 03:42:00 AM

dangerman

Nicely, G-stone. Nicely.

06/03/2009 02:19:00 AM

CamboD

I've managed to go this entire time without ever hearing a single Jonas song, until today. I now know that I wasn't missing a thing. Unfortunately, I have younger sister who loves Hannah Montana, so I've got that to deal with...

06/02/2009 11:52:00 PM

thingsthatrhyme

Song at the end is a Morphine song if I recall.

06/02/2009 11:28:00 PM

thalliadruid

I LOVE THIS GUY! And also, what the hell? Is that what middle schoolers call music? When I was in middle school we listen to crap, but it wasn't that bad!

06/02/2009 11:03:00 PM

ILuvEire

what song was playing at the end? (not the jonas brothers song)

06/02/2009 09:35:00 PM

ToastMeister

@gotbass 1. youv'e seen the whole video. how embarassing for you. 2. i did, but i cut it out in editing.

06/02/2009 08:26:00 PM

G-Stone

i kinda cant believe you didnt make a joke about one of the jonas turning into a girl

06/02/2009 08:24:00 PM

gotbass7

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YZgXg_7kVI8&feature=channel_page ahh the old disney engineering lab...

06/02/2009 08:09:00 PM

Dane

Fuck you for making me listen to those fruits. But thank you for calling them out on how much they suck.

06/02/2009 07:31:00 PM

JoeCB1991

Og Crazybbq, you're so right. The mere fact a non-adult is in the video makes this sick exploitation. What was I doing arguing in that Swaim vid section when there's so much treasure to be had here!

06/02/2009 07:25:00 PM

siromar

many nice and single girls have a account on __classymingle.com___. so dont miss them. dont miss your classy lover!!

06/02/2009 07:22:00 PM

misslian

I prefer Black Sabbath's Paranoid.

06/02/2009 07:04:00 PM

Ozzie_Freedom

Jeniffer Bonesteel? From the zombie apocalypse?

06/02/2009 06:48:00 PM

TheHoboTurtle

Yeah, Gladstone rules.

06/02/2009 06:16:00 PM

Jmx70inNJ

ah, gladstone, once again you exploit the innocence of children solely for our entertainment. keep it up.

06/02/2009 05:30:00 PM

Crazybbq

Gladstone, that was hilarious. It very nearly made those five seconds we had to spend listening to the Jonas Brothers worth it.

06/02/2009 05:22:00 PM

RivenHale

To be honest, this was the first time I have ever heard a Jonas Bros. song. Ever. I managed to avoid it this whole time. Now I know. I could have gone my entire life without.

06/02/2009 04:15:00 PM

nomatophobia

Send all spongebob autographs to Me Pobox 134 Reykjav�k, iceland

06/02/2009 03:38:00 PM

Flakese

Also, Amazing work Gladstone. I love you.

06/02/2009 03:25:00 PM

articdragone

As I hear more and more rumors as this so called "Disney Lab", I'm afraid I must debunk them. Disney pop sensations such as the stars of High School Musical, Hannah Montanna and, how could we forget, the Jonas Brothers are grown on a small island in the south pacific. You may be asking, how is this different from a lab. On this island all Disney creations are perfect each time, every time as soon as they are dubbed "The next big thing" or enough money to pull America out of debt is spent on advertising, but little is spent on anything else. Sorry for the confusuion, everybody.

06/02/2009 03:24:00 PM

articdragone

I think the lab Gladstone speaks of around 1:30 is explained in further detail here: http://www.theonion.com/content/video/disney_lab_unveils_its_latest

06/02/2009 03:05:00 PM

techdubb

Hippie kid! Adorable! Not your best work, but I believe in you Gladdy ol' boy!

06/02/2009 02:59:00 PM

Wren

Nice haircut.

06/02/2009 02:53:00 PM

mrpopenfresh

Wonderful show as usual Gladstone. I particularly enjoyed the bit about the clones and the cute little kid. I would really hate to stumble into said lab. Imagine the horror.

06/02/2009 02:53:00 PM

SilverHearted

Excellent as always. Also I see that you've switched your themesongs around, I have no idea why but it works.

06/02/2009 02:42:00 PM

Lester_Polfus

One of the best HBNs ever! I started choking on my Cherry Pepsi with laughter when you got to the part about the warehouse full of Kevins. That pretty much made my afternoon. Thank you for that, G-Stone, I kind of love you.

06/02/2009 02:17:00 PM

SemanticIvy

Oh, my, Lord. "I can get you Spongebob's autograph" - fantastic. I love the conscripting of local children.

06/02/2009 02:16:00 PM

Shrimp

They may be poison G-Stone, but the song of theirs that you played over the ending credits is pure gold.

06/02/2009 02:07:00 PM

dukieduke

@gamerelite1: I think somebody needs to call Chris Hansen on this guy.

06/02/2009 01:54:00 PM

rocksteady

@griffmanr. hey man, i DID pull back from calling them "poison." I hear ya.

06/02/2009 01:32:00 PM

G-Stone

Dear god it's good to have Gladstone back. So, so good.

06/02/2009 01:29:00 PM

Firecrotch

You know the Jonas Bros. actually wouldn't be so extraordinarily bad if the "producers" at Disney knew how to make music. Seriously there's so much god damn autotune of their vocals that it's approaching T-Pain territory. And there's so much compression that you can't hear anything properly. Basically the musical production equivalent of utter mush. Now I'm not saying that the Jonas Bros. would be "good" with better production, but there is a big difference between good bad pop and horrible bad pop. The horrible production is what puts them on the horrible side.

06/02/2009 01:26:00 PM

griffmanr

HAHAHA! Great stuff!

06/02/2009 01:03:00 PM

Giulie

Haha, that little kid was hilarious. XD

06/02/2009 01:03:00 PM

Promus

What is up with all of these spammers?

06/02/2009 12:52:00 PM

W.Kovacs

crap cracked.com is popular enough to have adds

06/02/2009 12:26:00 PM

soda26

Where does he even find all these kids? It's not like they grow on trees.

06/02/2009 12:07:00 PM

greeenhaze

gladstone, i must confess i haven't always been your biggest fan but i think you've soundly converted me. kudos sir--an excellent piece.

06/02/2009 12:02:00 PM

AceJustice

I love the little kid. Even though he wasn't that funny it's cool to have him on camera.

06/02/2009 11:55:00 AM

gamerelite1

This needed more hate in it...these are the Jonas Brothers after all. And wow, so many of the ugly one (okay, they're all ugly, but I mean the old one) running around, screams 'Nightmare!' to me.

06/02/2009 11:42:00 AM

m1ssp1nk

Next time you'll have to interview Hannah MonSnakeMonster. Maybe televise that fight between her and DOB we've all been waiting for.

06/02/2009 11:32:00 AM

rev.felix

That's it. I'm officially giving up playing drums and switching to air tamborine, air guitar, and the invisible chest bongos

06/02/2009 10:56:00 AM

The_Prowler

lampooning the jonas brothers? swine flu joke? face time for an 8 year old who isn't being hit with a rock? you're slipping gladstone. please don't let us down. we need you.

06/02/2009 10:50:00 AM

BobbyD84

Woot! Good stuff gladstone

06/02/2009 10:37:00 AM

Capitanhammer

Ha, it's good to see some classic HBN.

06/02/2009 10:08:00 AM

Thor.

Ha, it's good to see some classic HBN.

06/02/2009 10:08:00 AM

Thor.

gladstone you suck

06/02/2009 09:58:00 AM

MacAttack

"Clip suggested by Jennifer Bonesteel" I bet her husband could kick my ass.

06/02/2009 09:49:00 AM

jonnyt

how were you able to stomach that "music" long enough to mock it? i'd never heard of the Jonas Bros. before today; after about 2 seconds of their music i had to vacate my bowels.

06/02/2009 09:35:00 AM

dystopic

The asstards aren't experiencing paranoia, they are suffering from hallucinations, wich means they either suffer from dementia, full-blown schizophrenia or delirium tremens. Makes one think...

06/02/2009 09:30:00 AM

AfterGlow

Not bad, G-Stone, but I think you could have given us some more. The Jonas Brothers have a LOT to hate about them. I understand the quirky and ironic humor, but I was hoping for a little more hate and discontent. Give voice to my nearing thirty elitist rage!

06/02/2009 09:21:00 AM

Cuindless

Hahahah that kid did a great job. Well done all around.

06/02/2009 09:08:00 AM

Fonk

I'm not sure about that!! All my hot and sincere friends on ____Tallloving C om___ are talking about this!! BTW, it's the place where hot models and sex y young men;and handsome folks with sensu al chick s meet and mingle! You may wanna check it out!LOL

06/02/2009 08:51:00 AM

Shirleyxx

I'm not sure about that!! All my hot and sincere friends on ____Tallloving C om___ are talking about this!! BTW, it's the place where hot models and sex y young men;and handsome folks with sensu al chick s meet and mingle! You may wanna check it out!LOL

06/02/2009 08:50:00 AM

Shirleyxx

Fynny, but jesus christ, WON'T YOU STOP USING KIDS?! NOT FUNNY.

06/02/2009 08:19:00 AM

Plaidrabbit

I thought this was pretty funny, but your jokes about the Jonas brothers being manufactured by Disney were taken directly from the onion. If it's just a coincidence I apologize, but they were quite similar.

06/02/2009 08:17:00 AM

dOptimusdx

Wow, that kid is seriously good! In my job I have to sometimes work with child voice actors and they're generally fucking useless. Another classic, Gladstone. The Jonas brothers suck major ass.

06/02/2009 08:13:00 AM

Darkmage

Swaim = Cracked god. G-Stone = Not my cup of tea.

06/02/2009 07:56:00 AM

ofareggie

Considering that was done with a crappy loan computer, that was pretty darn good. :D

06/02/2009 07:55:00 AM

Clara

That was feckin' hilarious.

06/02/2009 07:54:00 AM

Andrewski

a factory full of Kevins? that's hilarious

06/02/2009 07:47:00 AM

yesbutnotyou

at first i thought you ditched morphine's music. don't scare me like that, gladstone.

06/02/2009 07:41:00 AM

hellblade

@Doctorchaos it's funny to me, that you try to come off as inteligent and comedic yourself. Than you use the word "FAIL" in a sentence the way a 10 year old does. You are fail? is Massive fail!, 10fails.. jesus youre an idiot.

06/02/2009 07:40:00 AM

tinygod

I didn't use to like Gladstone. But I think he took over my brain and made me watch this. Dammit, should have kept wearing a tea basket on my head! I knew it kept out mind-control waves.

06/02/2009 07:37:00 AM

Salahd

For those of you new to the internet, Dr. Chaos is a troll. He hates on 95% of all Cracked. He has praised and slammed me. He had his moment in the sund 3 months ago when DOB took the time to thoughtfully slam him. Wanting more is greed. I don't read his comments. Its' a good ide. Unlike that nasty rash you got from your boyscout instructor this problem will go away if ignored.

06/02/2009 07:28:00 AM

G-Stone

meh

06/02/2009 07:28:00 AM

chickenlips

My only regret is that this comment is just above a guy who knows comedy so well, it will take him take him $10K to make it. Anyways, great as always.

06/02/2009 07:09:00 AM

Daisho

hmm. doctorchaos: Why do you watch stuff you don't enjoy? I think you may have some sort of problem. Do you enjoy making yourself suffer? Do you enjoy making yourself angry? Maybe you just like to rag on other people's work because, deep down, you have no sense of self? Tell ya what, here's some advice: See a psychiatrist. Whatever it is that drives you to visit sites for the purpose of NOT entertaining yourself can't be healthy, and should probably be remedied at the first available opportunity.

06/02/2009 07:08:00 AM

Dami

instead of getting off to writing comments that you think gladstone might actually read, just try this for a change... dont watch the video...youre clearly only watching it to look for things to bash. youre not that funny. next time you see a hbn vid, say this to yourself, im not funny and therefore dont have the right to bash him for making a better than average video. then, this is the hard part, dont watch it.

06/02/2009 07:05:00 AM

simplyscottif

doctorchaos is my financial adviser, and i caused the recession. sorry, guys.

06/02/2009 07:04:00 AM

mcgugange

To gigs1890, the intro song is "Everybody Else Is Wrong" by Utopia off their album "Deface The Music."

06/02/2009 07:04:00 AM

aphthakid

I think the "girl" in the car is a teacher from Florida. I have no proof, I'm just sayin' ...

06/02/2009 07:02:00 AM

QueenGoofy

My comment vaguely implying that Gladstone likes kids a little too much not withstanding, the video was good and DoctorChaos is a tool.

06/02/2009 06:55:00 AM

Soggysausages

Haha, I freakin' love DoctorChaos. Everyone needs a nemesis and an archenemy in life and DC has no problem stepping up to the plate. Right or wrong, I'm happy we have a consistent dissenting voice here.

06/02/2009 06:51:00 AM

Jonathan_Goss

Great as always, Gladdy! My older daughter is a "tween," and she IS a fan of Miley Cyrus, but thank goodness she's NOT into the Jonas Brothers. (Hey, at least Hanna Montana--the show--is somewhat entertaining, unlike the Jonas Brother's show. . . .)

06/02/2009 06:51:00 AM

mournblade

This was great, but I think you could have hit the Jonas Brothers a little harder.

06/02/2009 06:26:00 AM

Onodera

DoctorChaos, if Gladstone is so terrible, why dont you create a HBN-esque video and post it on the Cracked forums. Im sure you could do better with your 12 year old humour of "OLOLOL DINOSAURS ARE FUNNY HAHAHA TRANSFORMERS YEA, AND PIRATES". Or do you just prefer ripping on someones work because you have no worthwhile talent and prefer to sit around feigning importance?

06/02/2009 06:21:00 AM

dl19

so, i gotsta know, what is that song that intro and outros hbn called? and who by?

06/02/2009 06:21:00 AM

gigs1890

Fails to play

06/02/2009 06:03:00 AM