5 Videos That Tried to be Cute (And Failed Hilariously)

I am reasonably certain my doctor will be upping my meds in the not too distant future.

11/05/2009 07:08:30 PM

Janette

Holy...s**t...masturbating animals...now I won't sleep for a week.

10/29/2009 04:39:22 AM

warmonger256

I was fecking taking a drink when the Cavalcade appeared! It was hot tea, too, burnt the inside of my nose.

10/02/2009 12:22:00 PM

T-Bone24

you should get like a medal, or one of those golden people that they give to movies

09/02/2009 06:48:00 PM

hellblade

The scariest part of this video was Swaim.

08/20/2009 07:38:00 PM

lestrange5

Horses masturbate a LOT, and it is terrifying. They sort of look (and sound) like they're having an asthma attack, with their wiener hanging out all the while. Also, two pair o' gloves is the way to go.

08/18/2009 12:37:00 AM

Thicket

Cats masturbating are hilarious. But still creepy.

08/14/2009 03:05:00 PM

wickedmonkey

It's amusing how often people forget that animals aren't the same things as cartoon animals or Babe-esque humanized animals. It's like they mentally erase the fact that animals have genitalia and urges and then becomes shocked when they just act naturally. Try visiting a farm sometimes. You might have some illusions shattered, but you'll be a bit wiser. ;)

08/11/2009 08:13:00 AM

Suntiger

The parents of that child should be ashamed of themselves. That poor cobra could have been hurt by that baby.

08/10/2009 07:32:00 PM

thunderguppy

This video will give me nightmares for many a night to come.

08/10/2009 03:06:00 PM

YellowJr.

I want that Cobra! Seriously, I'm looking up "Cobras that can't even kill babies".

08/05/2009 08:11:00 PM

PeaceFist

Dammit, Swaim, there are some parts of my innocence I WANT to keep.

07/30/2009 01:25:00 PM

ElNimrodo

FUCK ME SIDEWAYS AND CALL ME A VICTIM OF SWAIM: I want to unwatch it but i CAN"T!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

07/22/2009 06:05:00 AM

Obitron2000

havent watched the video yet... not sure i entirely want to with the comments but wat the hell. It can't be THAT bad...

07/21/2009 01:11:00 AM

Obitron2000

ohmygod my eyes i thought the possesed puppy was cute...just sayin

07/16/2009 02:34:00 PM

trish

The Indian baby playing with the snake... WTF?

07/12/2009 09:14:00 AM

Luigifan

Oh god, the makeup was simultaneously horrifying and arousing.

07/09/2009 12:26:00 AM

Tuki

very good.. Don t just think but also express them. The expression TV format of www.uploaded.tv gives you the chance to have your say in front of world

06/11/2009 06:17:00 AM

debasree

This is my first day on this website and it has already changed my life in so many ways. I am now committed to never having sex again. Fortuneatly I am blessed to have a girlfriend who is just as committed and has been for the last year and a half.

06/09/2009 03:28:00 PM

lennywille

Looks like the walrus was having a good time. koo koo g'joob

06/07/2009 11:31:00 PM

Chubalub

Thank you for adding another dark stain to my soul. BTW, Swaim, your eyes are kinda purdy with the evil, nightmare, Hello-Kitty-clown-from-Hell make-up on. I'm just saying.

06/01/2009 08:59:00 AM

Zenobia

I CAN'T UNSEE IT! *claws at eyes*

05/31/2009 02:24:00 PM

POLLY

Not as disturbing as when he was in Damn You Recession skit, but damn near...

05/29/2009 02:21:00 PM

dahwang12

Brilliant! Your transformation to "the stuff of nightmares" was spot-on. Spot-on, indeed! LOL

05/27/2009 10:49:00 PM

stuck^

Mommy! MAKE THEM GO AWAY!!!!

05/27/2009 04:45:00 PM

angeltakio

Good Lord, I need a shower. Like with turpentine and steel wool.

05/27/2009 12:19:00 PM

Zatak

I did not need to see that.

05/26/2009 08:55:00 PM

kempoman4

I think I'm physically upset at the lack of a new video today. You are the reason I come to this website. You're voice sounds like the song of sirens with the way it infatuates me. You're hair is of that which flows in the evening breeze softly caressing you face. You're sweater vests, they remind me of another man-crush that I have in the place I call home (College, not actual home, that's just gross). It's overwhelming, you are the very essence that gets me through the weeks and I don't know if I can last another two without you. Please, I beg you, don't keep me waiting. ...No homo.

05/25/2009 05:06:00 PM

ConeBone

oh...my...god... this is going to be the images of my nightmares. except the talking dog. i think it was AWESOME :D

05/25/2009 02:23:00 PM

karlojey

Anyway to make these videos load ok? I have the same damn problem. Every like 10 seconds I have to hit play again. WTF

05/24/2009 07:06:00 AM

Yanner13

lord, these videos load horribly. also boring and overly florid, but mostly the loading thing.

05/24/2009 03:22:00 AM

ziggytim

...I feel dirty on the inside.

05/20/2009 11:59:00 PM

zombiesocks

lol favorite line "this is absolutely negligent.. i mean, letting your kid live in india, come on!"

05/20/2009 11:39:00 PM

topher057

Do u have confidence in yourself? are u hot enough?? if so, come to ___InterRacialChaTs.COm___ to show off to everyone...here u can explore many HOT girls and guys like u....just do it!!!

05/20/2009 06:57:00 PM

iblkman

i love you swaim. god stop it. you are hilarious!

05/20/2009 01:05:00 PM

moogirl226

Hilarious and horrifying

05/20/2009 10:16:00 AM

goodroger

Holy Hell, SWAIM--THAT was THE funniest episode yet! Just when I thought it couldn't get any funnier. . . well, it did! BRILLIANT episode!!! Thanks for the laughs!

05/19/2009 08:41:00 PM

mournblade

What exactly is the last animal supposed to be? That's going to haunt me in my dreams forever, whilst Swaim dances about in cat makeup in the background. O_O

05/19/2009 02:09:00 PM

renkitsune

that talking puppy was both awesome and horrifying.

05/18/2009 07:10:00 AM

yesbutnotyou

That was the freakiest thing I've seen all week.

05/18/2009 12:07:00 AM

Baloun

I was planning on going to bed before watching this... The pure "Oh Hell, he actually did it." factor I have at the #1 spot is just...I can't think of a word to describe it. Regardless. Lol

05/17/2009 09:03:00 PM

Rothsephi

I would marry you in a heartbeat.

05/17/2009 06:51:00 PM

heytrilobite

And Swaim,you are a genius.

05/17/2009 08:12:00 AM

sugreev2001

And Swaim,you are a genius.

05/17/2009 08:11:00 AM

sugreev2001

Babies are overrated

05/17/2009 08:02:00 AM

sugreev2001

God I love The Hudsucker Proxy... and Swaim. Putting them together is like combining Jesus and pornography. It's perfect.

05/16/2009 08:26:00 PM

drunkpiano

Swaim, you are comedically heroic.

05/16/2009 07:44:00 PM

dddanny

Swaim may well be a genius, but he must be hunted down and destroyed nevertheless. The sanity of humanity is at stake.

05/16/2009 07:41:00 AM

Don

Watching this just before I planned on going to sleep was a horrible idea. Swaim's cat face will haunt my dreams.

05/15/2009 09:01:00 PM

dontpanic49

i am now scarred for life from that ending...

05/15/2009 08:34:00 PM

mrbob360

That ending part was utterly disturbing. I was trying to eat.

05/15/2009 04:27:00 PM

AnonymousIvy

that was the creepiest thing i've ever seen. ever.

05/15/2009 02:25:00 PM

disposablechild

Whathehell!?

05/15/2009 12:34:00 PM

LCP

Swaim, in that last part, you remind me of The Cat In The Hat. But, about 100 times more nightmare-inducing. Thank you.

05/15/2009 06:38:00 AM

sugarbeth

Swaim, your videos continue to impress and slightly disturb. The end is possibly the best thing I have ever seen. Love all your videos, keep em' coming.

05/14/2009 10:54:00 PM

funstuff

Beautiful. You are a orgasmic genius.

05/14/2009 07:16:00 PM

Jodah

THIS is why I haven't watched AFV in about 275 years.

05/14/2009 06:19:00 PM

ElNimrodo

I came.

05/14/2009 04:52:00 PM

AwfulWaffle

Swaim, you are amazing. Please never stop.

05/14/2009 01:27:00 PM

Rapefruit

disturbing disturbed.... awkward

05/14/2009 08:08:00 AM

Guruawc

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05/14/2009 05:54:00 AM

winterlee

You. Sick. Bastard. Marry me?

05/14/2009 03:39:00 AM

kinkkerbelle

swaim has lost it. and i love every minute of it. creepy ass motherfucker.

05/13/2009 10:29:00 PM

nightal

love the Benny Hill music

05/13/2009 10:14:00 PM

chrius

Did anyone else get slightly excited when Swaim was suddenly wearing a bowtie?

05/13/2009 08:32:00 PM

1000bpm

I can't help but feel like your appearance changed ever so slightly several times during that countdown. I think I'm losing it.

05/13/2009 01:15:00 PM

BobbyD84

this one goes in my top 5 of cracked videos.

05/13/2009 01:10:00 PM

Flakese

Holy shit that last part was terrifying, with the intermittent pictures of Swaim just prancing around like a tool.

05/13/2009 12:14:00 PM

Damien

Dude, hilarious. Can't stop laughing at that dog! It's like a small furry demon that wants to harvest its audiences soul....or its just a puppy, hell I don't fucking know!

05/13/2009 10:14:00 AM

RandyChimp

Holy Crap! AH!

05/13/2009 07:46:00 AM

JenAvid

G-Stone used that snake/baby bit, didn't he? Anyhoo..thanks for the animal knowledge, I guess!

05/13/2009 12:18:00 AM

josie

@mazzypants I know right. Does anyone check those?! Actually I think they're just going for the much neglected "furry demographic." XD

05/13/2009 12:09:00 AM

communismfairy

Wow, never knew a bear dong would have all its points put in length at the expense of girth like that. And I could have happily lived the rest of my life that way.

05/12/2009 11:55:00 PM

TheBladeRoden

This shit creeps the living shit outta me... And I'm from the Internets, i've seen people beaten to death

05/12/2009 09:29:00 PM

jcdent

I.... I just wasn't expecting the end. What just happened? Why am I tearing my eyeballs out?

05/12/2009 09:16:00 PM

valduchi

lol i love it when spam is unintentionally hilarious (Shirleyxx)

05/12/2009 08:09:00 PM

mazzypants

Thanks for the nightmares Swaim.

05/12/2009 07:18:00 PM

theHeadCase

Is it weird that I have a raging boner right now?

05/12/2009 06:55:00 PM

ToastMeister

The ending ruined my life

05/12/2009 06:28:00 PM

Santamaycry

Well, I'm off to therapy now. Thanks Swaim.

05/12/2009 05:02:00 PM

rev.felix

i did not expect this... - expect the unexpected! - 10-10!

05/12/2009 04:49:00 PM

hellblade

The facepaint is the scariest part. Now I have the image of Swaim giggling and dancing to masturbating animals. Kill me now. Please.

05/12/2009 04:00:00 PM

JaundiceManatee

Thanks, Swaim. I was feeling like shit, but that video got me laughing again.

05/12/2009 03:02:00 PM

SillySausage69

this is hilarious. but seriously, put on that face makeup one more time and i will never sleep again.

05/12/2009 02:12:00 PM

rocksteady

Impeccably disturbing.

05/12/2009 01:03:00 PM

Aes

That last one was really gross....

05/12/2009 12:33:00 PM

Earthbound_X

The sad thing is that I had to go back and watch this again a day later after realizing I'd forgotten everything except for masturbating animals.

05/12/2009 11:20:00 AM

MLee

ehh. Can't wait till next week's episode. :P

05/12/2009 10:41:00 AM

Zerocyde

so cool , I will upload this to tall dating site ____Tallmingle.c o m___which is a hot dating site for all tall admirers ,tall man and tall woman.

05/12/2009 09:56:00 AM

Shirleyxx

Sometimes you scare me. :(

05/12/2009 08:35:00 AM

Kimball

Hi - fucking -larious.

05/12/2009 07:04:00 AM

Benvolio

I'm not gonna lie swaim, the ending deeply disturbed me.

05/12/2009 04:13:00 AM

Lumpy

jackin animals.ewwww but funny

05/12/2009 02:52:00 AM

6oober

freeze video at 2.20seconds.nice face swaim

05/12/2009 02:48:00 AM

6oober

haha, hilarious, "mom, kill me," hahaha, and well yeah what do you expect from India?

05/12/2009 02:28:00 AM

thewanderer

Were you wearing a sweater vest at the end there Swaim?

05/12/2009 01:18:00 AM

hazzardous

The creepy part about the baby in India is really that the cobra's mouth has been sewn shut for the purpose of making it a harmless child's plaything. Not even joking here.

05/11/2009 11:54:00 PM

scythemantis

Swaim you continue to impress, congrats.

05/11/2009 11:33:00 PM

growingupsoon

You mention that no kid should be forced to live in India because that's what B. Pitt and A. Jolie are for. Well why were those animals left to get themselves off? Isn't that what DoctorChaos is for?

05/11/2009 09:54:00 PM

CodyCastor

Lol, at the intermission part dad freaking lays out the kick with that ball, hilarious. Keep it up Swaim

05/11/2009 09:10:00 PM

demonk911

That face makeup is going to haunt my dreams.

05/11/2009 08:41:00 PM

ColleenHamilton

wow the last was so funny

05/11/2009 08:17:00 PM

jonnycage100

Good thing you mentioned Eraserhead, by the end of the video i felt almost as confused as the first time i watched it.... and that means only, good work Swaim!!

05/11/2009 08:07:00 PM

Zai

I was laughing so hard at that little dog.

05/11/2009 08:01:00 PM

ArianaRosestar

--== Cougarster.Com ==-- It's where Cougar (women who are mature, rich and experienced) and men who like them can meet.

05/11/2009 07:49:00 PM

babarabb

Are you planning a super villain come out SWAIM? That is the only explanation I can think of why you become more and more terrifying in aspect as the videos become more and more terrifying in content.

05/11/2009 07:43:00 PM

Fuckaccounts

Where did that bear get the pink asparagas? It looked delicious!

05/11/2009 07:35:00 PM

echocharlie

is it just me or did swaim look different at the end? i think its jsut me

05/11/2009 07:27:00 PM

gotbass7

I tried paying attention to the clips, but all I kept seeing was the glorious progression of your outfit. Do you ever wear the unicorn Tshirt in public?

05/11/2009 07:27:00 PM

iliketurtles667

Damn, S.W.A.I.M, I started this out masturbating to you in that incredibly sexy sweatervest. It got harder to continue when you went all cross-dresser furry on me, but...that last bunch of clips? MAJORLY killed my lady-boner. I won't be able to get turned on for the rest of the week. Good thing I'm single.

05/11/2009 07:26:00 PM

Wren

Swaim, this is the first time I've come away from one of your videos feeling physically ill. You, sir, are a villain. That is all. P.

05/11/2009 07:21:00 PM

Pamcakes

My dog thanks you. After watching the last part of the clip, I gave her the rest of my dinner.

05/11/2009 07:11:00 PM

ATWolf

Tiggy is the only animal that thinks that he's people. Those animals just aren't hardcore enough.

05/11/2009 07:07:00 PM

Donsmand

Single most upsetting thing in human history. Congratulations.

05/11/2009 07:05:00 PM

JStanshall

Nearly chundered on my keyboard when the bear mushroom stalk/penis made its appearance.

05/11/2009 06:54:00 PM

Ungeheuer

The Snake killing the baby was from an old Gladstone Radiohead music video

05/11/2009 06:49:00 PM

Robot_Jesus

Smothered With Animals In Masturbation...

05/11/2009 06:27:00 PM

macksayev

O.K. You had me until #1. Now I feel violated. Excuse me while I go take a shower.

05/11/2009 05:47:00 PM

Martok

Cthulhu has absolutely nothing on this video, my good Mr. Swaim.

05/11/2009 05:27:00 PM

GromReaper

Swaimerrific! Though typing this with eyes gouged out.

05/11/2009 05:26:00 PM

3M7A3

I always thought the bear penis looked more like that little microphone Bob Barker uses.

05/11/2009 05:23:00 PM

MichaelSwaim

Swaim, I love you. Will you marry me?

05/11/2009 05:05:00 PM

SystemError

I actually really hated that bear penis alot... Thank you Swaim, that was horrible. Even though I did enjoy your adorable little outfit.

05/11/2009 05:05:00 PM

lumaee

Oh... oh my god. I'm scarred now. Thanks, Swaim.

05/11/2009 04:49:00 PM

theguy2

What the hell was with those cats at the end of the video?

05/11/2009 04:44:00 PM

Nalos

Friend that was not a walrus. But dear god, that self-blowjob by the bear will never let me look at drum sticks in the same way again.

05/11/2009 04:36:00 PM

Spideycow

that was a walrus

05/11/2009 04:36:00 PM

polancoj16

I feel like I need to take a shower now...

05/11/2009 04:33:00 PM

EtherealMirror

I hate you... I hate you so much Swaim...

05/11/2009 04:20:00 PM

Binak_Algo

THAT WAS TERRIFYING I DIDN'T NOTICE HE WAS CHANGING OUTFITS UNTIL THE STUFFED...THING SHOWED UP.

05/11/2009 04:07:00 PM

VerneTheCoconut

I am crying from the laughter right now. That walrus' dong was fucking HUGE.

05/11/2009 03:44:00 PM

icanhazbuttseks

Oh gods, the horror. But Swaim actually looked kinda cute at the end. In a way made gross by the preceeding clips, but still, surprisingly cute.

05/11/2009 03:20:00 PM

Catsnstuff

The shots of Swaim during the cavalcade were freakin hilarious, but ruined by multiple animal penises. Penii, if you will.

05/11/2009 03:11:00 PM

DP13

Yep, that did it. I'm retarded now.

05/11/2009 03:04:00 PM

tallboy

Swaim was the scariest thing in this video, including the cobra and masturbating bear.

05/11/2009 02:45:00 PM

greeenhaze

That was beautiful.

05/11/2009 02:03:00 PM

StultusMagnus

Oh dear God, that was horrifying. Though Swaim looked pretty cute in the kitty-cat face paint. :P Ewww, I'll never view bears the same again.

05/11/2009 01:57:00 PM

Shrimp

Funny and worrying in one creepy package. :-0

05/11/2009 01:49:00 PM

Robforfucksake

I feel like I should say "Well, now I've seen everything" and blow my head off like a character from an old Tex Avery cartoon. But the truth is that I've seen worse. Much, much worse.

05/11/2009 01:42:00 PM

Rogue1stclass

There are not enough words to accurately describe how funny and horrible this is.

05/11/2009 01:12:00 PM

Jorus

GAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! The last part was the best and freaking hilarius and yet weeird XD

05/11/2009 01:11:00 PM

johnthemac

OK, Swaim was just creepy there at the end.

05/11/2009 01:10:00 PM

Ganon

NOT JINGLE CATS. WHY SWAIM. I am horrified.. yet, satisfied.

05/11/2009 01:07:00 PM

chllngr

My God. That was at the same time the funniest and most horrifying episode yet.

05/11/2009 12:48:00 PM

tmh1130

Oh lordy Swaim.

05/11/2009 12:45:00 PM

Huhhuduhhuh

Animal penises don't have to be censored? Ie&MichaelSwaim

05/11/2009 12:39:00 PM

timesamillion

You "Supernaturally Wonderful And Intelligent Man" you. What else can I say now?

05/11/2009 12:09:00 PM

goddamnedme

Definitely your best video so far. It's been a while since I've laughed out loud on something on Cracked, but the masturbation compilation had me in stitches.

05/11/2009 11:55:00 AM

Egads!

3:26 - 3:27 was the most disturbing thing I've ever seen on cracked really mr swaim, when you said horrifying, i didn't expect it to be you as they've said, there are some things you cannot unsee, ever

05/11/2009 11:54:00 AM

anony

Love the bowtie babe. ; ) Also, that facepaint will haunt my dreams now. Thanks.

05/11/2009 11:50:00 AM

youllforgetit

This is probably the first time I've actually laughed to tear at something on the Internet. Thanks SWAIM

05/11/2009 11:36:00 AM

dankarliner

1:37-1:43 You made my day with those five seconds Mr Swaim. I thank you.

05/11/2009 11:26:00 AM

mGolos

Okay, with that musical montage you just fell face first into Stella territory...and I LOVED it!

05/11/2009 11:21:00 AM

Postmark

Where did you get that bow tie, your fucking prom?

05/11/2009 11:20:00 AM

glendoor42

Eraserhead!!!!

05/11/2009 11:17:00 AM

W.Kovacs

the one with the indian kid was the best, especially the grave marker.

05/11/2009 11:09:00 AM

whatssofunny

you're trying to kill me swaim.

05/11/2009 10:59:00 AM

RZA

I see what you did with those ties.

05/11/2009 10:59:00 AM

LukeTheNuke

I don't think it could be put better than carpe-noctem12. "I really am not sure what I'm afraid of anymore, but I know it will all haunt my dreams." Terrifyingly hilarious. My brain now pictures things my eyes don't want to see... Gaaah!

05/11/2009 10:33:00 AM

Elabon

I couldn't even laugh it was so gross. Job well done, Swaim.

05/11/2009 10:30:00 AM

alachuckles

Dude u looked fucking scary near the end man o_O

05/11/2009 10:25:00 AM

Alexicon

That animal masturbation bit was just... Strange. But your pink bow tie? ADORABLE!

05/11/2009 10:24:00 AM

TaiDollWave

my eyes!!! they burn!!

05/11/2009 10:15:00 AM

kellybrisbin

Wow.

05/11/2009 10:05:00 AM

SuplexDuplex

Thank you Swaim for that end sequence. I really am not sure what I'm afraid of anymore, but I know it will all haunt my dreams.

05/11/2009 10:04:00 AM

carpe-noctem12

Jesus Christ, that entire video was absolutely terrifying.

05/11/2009 10:00:00 AM

Judicator

I guess the parents were confused when someone suggested getting a rattle for their baby.

05/11/2009 09:55:00 AM

CountBaqula

jesus fucking christ Swaim what are you trying to do to my brain?

05/11/2009 09:48:00 AM

Demmagog

I looooooove your bowtie :)

05/11/2009 09:48:00 AM

Caden

Holy jebus that was great. I gotta agree with many of the others and say that the sequence of animal masturbation and Swaim popping in and out is going to haunt me forever...

05/11/2009 09:47:00 AM

Rantspace

Holy shit Swaim. Just holy shit. Your slow transition from well-dressed host droid to face-painted nightmare is something that I cannot un-see.

05/11/2009 09:43:00 AM

OldSoulSong

you are awesome swaim!

05/11/2009 09:30:00 AM

mariam67

Swaimyhoney. Aww, you're hosting a video... you so cuuuute! Who's a good boy? Who's a good boy?!

05/11/2009 09:14:00 AM

Rebear

Interspersed clips of Swaim dancing and animal masturbation have given me retinal cancer.

05/11/2009 08:59:00 AM

Trishkabibble

Honestly, the scariest parts were the ones where you were "dancing" during the animal masturbation segments.

05/11/2009 08:48:00 AM

Emerald

Gotta tell ya Swaim, you are remarkably unsettling in that face paint. The rest of the vid was solid, though.

05/11/2009 08:45:00 AM

bigmike53916

That was horrifying, Michael. Thank you.

05/11/2009 08:35:00 AM

Razok

Your tie changes.

05/11/2009 08:24:00 AM

wilkemf

I think I've suffered severe internal trauma from the violent convulsions I experienced while watching that. Fucking prime.

05/11/2009 08:18:00 AM

BadHobbit

The last segment of the show made me laugh and feel nauseous exactly at the same time. Congratulations for generating a feeling my body has never felt before. Excuse me as I run to the men's room to vomit...

05/11/2009 08:15:00 AM

porn-rasta

Shit that was disturbing. Thank you SWAIM, I no longer have a man crush on you.

05/11/2009 08:12:00 AM

Cockonutpete

I...hate...babies... I feel sorry for the cobra, by the looks of it some sick fuck had removed it's fangs.

05/11/2009 08:05:00 AM

RadiantDragon

That was fucking brilliant. Jesus I don't even know how to react after seeing something that perfect. Was it as good as the most subscribed youtube channels are all retarded? It might well have been. Defintely stunned me more though. What a...wow man, just wow. Well not just wow, also man.

05/11/2009 07:59:00 AM

Swaimfan

Awesomely disturbing!

05/11/2009 07:43:00 AM

madmanduck

Oh my Gah! That was terrifying! You really delivered on your promise! That being said, has anyone ever told you how beautiful you are? Especially with those whiskers! Rawr

05/11/2009 07:42:00 AM

smartaleck

See!!! And that is exactly what my comment on your last video was about. The 12 Most Lame World Record Attempts were a good topic that you turned into something fabulously mindblowing insanely great. This one here... horrible! And you still managed to not make me kill myself by leading through all this Awkwardness with your usual, ultra-confident determination, since you are aware that everything seems enjoyable to the public, if the host believes in the product he is selling. Hell, that's why I drink this DoubleX Beer. Because the 'Most Interesting Man in the World' (sorry Swaim, you're a close second) doesn't always drink beer, but when he does, he prefers Dos Equis.

05/11/2009 07:26:00 AM

BangoSkank

This video has broken my brain. You, personally, Michael Swaim, have broken my brain. That being said, I still want to have your babies.

05/11/2009 07:21:00 AM

kazarkus

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. that is all.

05/11/2009 07:17:00 AM

gaybriel

so cool , I will upload this to tall dating site ____Tallmingle.c o m___which is a hot dating site for all tall admirers ,tall man and tall woman.

05/11/2009 07:15:00 AM

Shirleyxx

was... was I just... I mean... was I just raped?

05/11/2009 07:09:00 AM

Daisho

Awesome as ever.. you achieved to fulfill my needs to tear my eyes out of my sockets at the very end.. Thanks for helping mutilate myself once more swaim.. I love you

05/11/2009 07:04:00 AM

The-MaxX

Swaim, normally I think you are the hottest thing to ever hit up the internet. This vid was.. fucking disturbing take a minus 100d20 to your charisma for the next 10d10 years.

05/11/2009 07:03:00 AM

TeninaT

That last clip was... it was... I mean, I'm pretty sure what the next Silent Hill will be featuring.... Anyways, way to start the week!!!

05/11/2009 06:56:00 AM

vato_loco

Sweet baby Jesus drowning kittens in Hell, man... the Cavalcade of Animal Masturbation didn't faze me one bit, until Swaim started mugging for the camera. It's the first time I've laughed due to raw, mind-puréeing fear for quite a while. Keep up the good work.

05/11/2009 06:55:00 AM

pythonNewb

I would like to echo the sentiments of Bobolequiff down there, and add a couple of minutes of stunned intermittent sobbing.

05/11/2009 06:54:00 AM

Cratey

Hahaha great vid. Swaim changes his shirt every cut. Anyone else notice?

05/11/2009 06:53:00 AM

mistahhN

Its great that this episode went with the logic that anything is funny with benny hill music, except man-cat swaim, that was just fucking weird

05/11/2009 06:51:00 AM

I-Rod

Mr. Slander Without Any Inherent Meaning, you are awesome.

05/11/2009 06:46:00 AM

amps2loud

I don't think I will ever be able to go to the zoo again...or see Cats!

05/11/2009 06:40:00 AM

wade

Good stuff. Thanks for a great start to the week.

05/11/2009 06:24:00 AM

Onodera

That was...I feel... God, that was very disturbing. And very funny.

05/11/2009 06:13:00 AM

Sniggs

wow just like the topic swaim went from being cute to horribly horribly freaky. i need to go scrub my eyes with bleach now.

05/11/2009 06:13:00 AM

katie6098

What the fuck? First that furpedia shit then this?

05/11/2009 06:08:00 AM

FalseIncarnate

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!!!!! Jesus Christ, Swaim, What The Fuck?!

05/11/2009 06:08:00 AM

Bobolequiff

*shudders*

05/11/2009 06:05:00 AM

l;dfjhljkh

This was NOT something I needed to watch after pulling an all nighter. I'm never going to sleep now.

05/11/2009 05:53:00 AM

o8643

oh god the last one.........you ANIMALS

05/11/2009 05:46:00 AM

G1drake

o god... im scarred for life now, seriously as soon as the animal masturbation started i turned around and hit my head on the door

05/11/2009 05:44:00 AM

ultimakewl

Cavalcade of animal masturbation has to be the funniest thing ever

05/11/2009 05:40:00 AM

nerdy1

Swaim is master of that region between hilarious and unsettling. It's like he lives in a Venn diagram from hell.

05/11/2009 05:38:00 AM

Todzilla

THAT . . WAS . . . DISTURBING. . . .

05/11/2009 05:27:00 AM

ymala1

That last montage was like Event Horizon

05/11/2009 05:25:00 AM

os99

Swaim rocks

05/11/2009 05:20:00 AM

ravenbloodgood

Aww Swaimie thinks he's people! But seriously, the bear auto-fellating. I will have nightmares.

05/11/2009 05:13:00 AM

fr0_mistre55

I dreamt about a Swaim the other night... except he was Asian.... *swoon*

05/11/2009 05:06:00 AM

LilaGretchen

heh i did a doubletake for the bow tie 1st time

05/11/2009 05:06:00 AM

Kumiho

Thirst.

05/11/2009 05:05:00 AM

John_Barleycorn

Swaim we love you!

05/11/2009 05:04:00 AM

mangecoeur