A Preview of Glenn Beck's Insane Comedy Tour

"Glenn Beck is THE greatest comedian of our time! Too bad he's not joking." Yeah, and too bad his act doesn't contain any actual jokes.

10/04/2009 10:35:00 AM

thamuzicaddict

RaistliniltsiaR. Ahhahha... You're one of the new creationists. Too bad we still have the old school ones still shambling about drooling in the exact same fashion. Hey, guess who's lobbying against any kind of reform to maybe just pollute a little less? Why, the very ones who'd be more regulated because they contribute more to the problem. Fair enough, I guess you'd say, as that is just the "marketplace of ideas". But here's the catch: Why the fuck are they so underhanded about it? And, seriously, here's why you're just like a creationist or an antiabortionist: This idea that scientists are somehow making insane profits off of some kind of conspiracy. How the hell does that even work: "Oh, yeah, I made mad scrilla today, bro! Got showered with phat grant money by the government when I told 'em my research showed they'd better stop taking the easiest industry donations and instead start institutin' real reform. Then I went and and broke the bank performin' abortions in exchange fo

09/21/2009 10:58:00 AM

HMDK

Glenn Beck is THE greatest comedian of our time! Too bad he's not joking.

09/17/2009 09:10:00 AM

idunno3

Eliosenor, I have to take issue with your rule #4. Yes, I realise that headsets have been used by terrible people, but they can also be used for good, by someone like Dara O'briain, who is awesome.

09/11/2009 08:41:00 PM

MertonVHislop

Anyone else seriously reminded of Alan Shore from Boston Legal when Glen Beck comes on screen?

08/26/2009 06:52:00 PM

orypeci

Ahhh Gladstone, ya wacky liberal. *shrug* I'm a conservative, and I have to put up with a LOT of liberal stuff on Cracked, but I do it. Why? Because objectively, most of the stuff on here is funny as shit. I've come to expect it. I do wish to say, however: 1) Global warming is a mere earthly cycle, not something to flip out over. 2) Bailouts are a really, really stupid idea. Some companies fail - that's just how it works. You really think pouring money into unsuccessful businesses is the way to save the economy?

08/02/2009 10:57:00 PM

RaistliniltsiaR

A few rules for self-proclaimed comedians and comedy promo makers (and this comes from a guy who's gone to FOUR OR FIVE UCB SHOWS): 1. AT LEAST ONE JOKE. At least shitty films show the one or two "funniest" parts in their previews. This promo has no jokes, ergo: there is no funniest part of Glenn Beck. 2. Apropos of Rule 1: PSEUDO-JOKES DON'T COUNT. A joke either has to (a) be funny and/or (b) make a funny (and maybe profound) point. Goofy faces, voices, and pontifications on vomit foam don't cut it. 3. Apropos of Rule 2: THAT "GOT MILK" SHIT IS FUNNY *NOWHERE*. Nowhere. Not even ironically. Put that shit on in Williamsburg, and I don't care how skinny your jeans are; you are going to have the everloving shit kicked out of you by Of Montreal. Fun fact: According to Wikipedia, this campaign came out in October 1993 and stopped being funny in early November 1993 [citation needed]. 4. NO HEADSETS! Visible headsets have the power of 32 giant signs reading "I'm A Fucking Douchebag.

06/08/2009 07:33:00 AM

elliosenor

I must agree with Cube13

06/05/2009 08:17:00 PM

Coxxy

Yawn

05/17/2009 06:27:00 PM

ToastMeister

Respectfully, I must dissent. It's my understanding that Beck's audience on his comedy tour were urinating on themselves from laughing so hard. His socialism bit goes over like a white Chris Rock. Beck's a comedic genius and any satire of his work by Mr. Gladstone or anyone should be frowned upon. Attica! Attica! Attica!

05/08/2009 10:22:00 PM

Cube13

well the limpublicans are lining up one by one and stepping off a cliff ,of course they dont understand normal people there rich and want to stay that way ,no matter what happens to america.God forbid someone gets a bj there the most dogooding rat snitchs the world has ever known.Ill bet he gives his show for free like rush limbo and the silly radio stations eat it up cause they have nothing out of pocket i WONDER WHO PAYS RUSH /BECK if there doin it for free ,one thing is for sure i will never listen to kmox in st louis again because of these guys so gj. Ok america has awaken and we get it so cut the bullshizzt,find somthing else to hate like your dog lol tata for now

05/07/2009 03:10:00 PM

soulardbill

Damn, people are going crazy in these comments. It was just a joke guys, calm down.

05/05/2009 11:21:00 AM

Earthbound_X

i've heard him say it on his broadcast before, "I'm not a Journalist" maybe in his performance he'll say "I'm not even a carbon based human."

05/04/2009 02:37:00 PM

Baloun

I was kinda like, "Eh." But then it hit me . . . "Wait. This guy actually thinks that this is FUNNY. He's actually talking about going out and going on stage and spewing this crap and thinking of himself as a stand-up comedian. HOLY SHIT!" Wow. That's extra-special. What sorts of venues will he be hitting, I wonder? You can't really imagine that many people who enjoy a night of comedy are gonna think, "I know! Let's head out and watch that right-wing nutball recycle Rush Limbaugh's material!" So . . . rural high-school auditoriums, maybe?

05/01/2009 04:10:00 AM

auslander

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04/29/2009 12:37:00 PM

sexygirl984

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04/29/2009 04:58:00 AM

sexygirl984

I saw a YouTube Clip of Beck today!! God,he was going just plain Bat Shyt Crazy!! To hear him go on and on,Obama's"The Manchurian Candidate"; "FEMA's Running Concentration Camps";"Our Children Are Being Sold Into Slavery";EtAl!! Jesus;Buddha and Mohammed!!! Sad Thing Is Folks Actually Beleive His Shyt!!

04/28/2009 05:38:00 PM

TheEnemyBelow

This one's much better than your last one. Appeals to a general audience, even one who is not intimately familiar with Glenn Beck. Good stuff. I especially liked your cutscene ;).

04/27/2009 11:49:00 PM

seraylnn

Oh look kids the Democrat is resulting to petty insults. Now, now, that's not very nice. Usually you're pretty unbiased and I have to say that I'm a little disappointed Gladstone...not that you probably give a rat's ass what I think anyway.

04/27/2009 08:44:00 PM

TheMesmer

Beck's already making people angry... I can't believe how many people are taking it seriously. And by the way, Beck's an asshole.

04/27/2009 03:33:00 PM

interstella

God bless the dull-witted, unevolved, lower-end primates of the Republican Party. Throw a little bait into the water and they'll gangrape the hell out of one another just to take a bite, tossing off all the excellent "arguments" you've heard from them 1000 times before, usually down to the same exact words. Truly, this is a group not collapsing in on itself and about to be relegated to the dustbin of history.

04/27/2009 03:16:00 PM

mrrubino

Wow, never watching this shit again. Anyone can edit someone to be not funny. Congrats, that's one viewer gone.

04/27/2009 03:06:00 PM

kbilly

And it's really easy to edit a clip and make even the funniest man alive look lame and unfunny. When your political leanings make you pre-biased, you've already made up your mind no matter the outcome. A friend of mine let me borrow a cd full of comedic radio skits which turned out to be effing hilarious. I didn't know it was Glenn Beck at the time and wouldn't have known who he was anyway (this was years ago), but as soon as I found out-BAM! not as funny.

04/26/2009 12:02:00 PM

Iceland

if the crowd isn't laughing in the promo why would i want to go to see it. the old guy with the beard never cracked a smile. Love HBN keep it up and glad you are back

04/26/2009 01:32:00 AM

fartcarcas

"(1) Global warming proponents don't say dramatic changes in weather are increasing deaths at this moment" Except, they do. Like, all the time. All summer long, in fact, they point out in painstaking detail how many people die from heat exhaustion. They claimed that, while Katrina wasn't cause by global warming, we were guaranteed to have more killer hurricanes because of it (which is dead wrong). I didn't care much for this one because it was less "funny joke" and more "just quote something Beck said and expect you to be liberal enough to find it funny". I don't believe in global warming, so pointing out that he thinks the same way as me is not funny. This is why political humor (including Beck's) usually is terrible; it's only funny if you agree with the jokester anyway. BTW, it's really not fair to put all the "conservatives" together, as they are not all the same. Beck leans a little more libertarian, Hannity is like the poster child of the mainstream republicans, and O'Rei

04/25/2009 07:30:00 PM

BWM

Dude, you need to put your dick down, and type with both hands. vvv

04/25/2009 06:42:00 PM

4thSurvivor

Ain't it the truth!!Beck;like Hannazi and O'Lielly;are some overpaid and underworked media hacks who try to make people beleive that some Booger Man-insert your choice:Blacks;Muslims;Latinos;Asians;Jews;Gays;Atheists;Octomoms-are coming to take everything you worked so hard for with the help of the Government but he's on your side!! In reality,Beck-like Hannity;O'reilly and Savage are just a bunch of overrpaid media hacks who fly in ona chartered jet and stay at a nice Luxury Hotel all the while telling people"I'm On Your Side!!" BULLSHIT!! He's just san Alcoholic Mormon!!! Do yourselves a favor-TURN YOUR RADIO OFF AND THINK FOR YOURSELVES!!!

04/25/2009 10:16:00 AM

TheEnemyBelow

God you're pathetic and ugly Gladstone. It's hilarious. Who are you to judge talent? You do an INTERNET T.V. SHOW WHERE YOU HATE ON PEOPLE. You are a winner. That's all there is to it. AND ON TOP OF EVERYTHING! YOU'RE HILARIOUS WHEN YOU HATE ON PEOPLE! Oh wait, i forgot, you're just ugly. Not funny.

04/25/2009 10:00:00 AM

hatingislame

"They stand for these crazy, outmoded ideas like personal freedom, personal responsibility, personal success, the free market, and that all men are created equal." No. Just no. I'm a right winger. Glenn Beck, Sean Hannity, and Rush Limbaugh are fucking idiots.

04/25/2009 09:11:00 AM

TubularLuggage

I`m not sure what`s funnier...the video itself or the people who decided to ejacul-hate all over it.

04/24/2009 08:12:00 AM

scallywag

Glenn Beck, Sean Hannity, Rush Limbaugh, etc. all hate you. They stand for these crazy, outmoded ideas like personal freedom, personal responsibility, personal success, the free market, and that all men are created equal. We all know that it's not anyone's fault if things don't go well for you, despite never having a dream or taking control of your life to point it in a direction of your own choosing. I mean, who could make these kinds of decisions? That's why we have the government! We don't have to deal with things, the brilliant people we elected will do it for us! They're so much smarter and better than those conservative haters who say ridiculous things like "I want everyone to be successful." Yeah, right! Nobody should be allowed to be successful if anyone else is going hungry, right? I mean, it's not their fault. Those rich bastards just woke up rich one day anyhow. It's not like they worked for it or anything.

04/23/2009 11:26:00 PM

justgonnastay

Beck is insane see = http://tinypic.com/view.php?pic=jqndaa&s=5

04/23/2009 03:53:00 PM

oexpress

Why does your guys' player load 10x slower than Youtube?

04/22/2009 09:03:00 PM

TestieVinadirty

Gladstone wrote: "Politically, I'm fairly moderate. To believe that hating on Glenn Beck makes one a flaming lib is sad and pathetic." I don't think that you're not. I just don't think this particular HBN succeeded at being funny. "When I was selecting Glenn Beck clips one of my favorites was Glenn saying that global warming was a myth because deaths due to extreme weather were down 95% in the last 100 years. Now regardless of what you believe anyone touting that statistic as meaningful is either wildly disingenuous or doesn't understand science. (For those of you playing at home (1) Global warming proponents don't say dramatic changes in weather are increasing deaths at this moment and (2) I think things like advances in medicine and THE ADVENT OF ELECTRICITY might account for people not freezing to death or dying of heat exhaustion." Thats actually pretty well thought out and logical (albeit difficult to make into a funny joke). And this is coming from a global warming ske

04/22/2009 05:41:00 PM

mike_2

Censorship is a staple of the Democratic party actually. 1st amendment most aren't real big on. Nice try.

04/22/2009 03:05:00 PM

Freeskier

It says you're an idiot. The Zinger Alarm is gold!

04/22/2009 02:15:00 PM

Cuindless

I laughed aloud at your Beck impersonation. miss those (Amy Winehouse anyone?). I predict FoxNews will be promoting the shit out of his tour. Also... I like the "boing" sound more than the "Zinger Alarm". What does that say about me as a person?

04/22/2009 07:19:00 AM

lbh

For the record, my political views are all over the map. I am a G.D.I. My acidic comments grew from my continued frustration with partisan attacks when it comes to comedy, etc. I appreciate that left leaning people dominate the media and entertainment fields, but humor can be found everywhere. Whether you agree with the president or not, whether you voted for the president or not, he (or she someday) is going to make a mistake that warrants some fun-loving ribbing. I am just asking the comedians out there to address it equally. @ Swaimfan, I guess. Trolls will. be. trolls. I apologize to you and your obviously superior knowledge of the English language. I will try harder in the future to watch for typos in my posts so that you don't have to be subjected to any more sentence fragments.

04/22/2009 07:11:00 AM

Martok

"Gladstone is about as funny as a truckload of dead puppies at the incinerator" I noticed this gem of a comment buried underneath the hate. I'm not sure if that is necessarily a bad thing, though. The only thing funnier a truckload of dead puppies at the incinerator in a truck load of dead babies at the wood chipper. Oh god, I am hoping this gets buried under other comments, I know, it's not funny, yada-yada, just get it out people.

04/22/2009 07:05:00 AM

Daisho

Glenn Beck is not a journalist. He's a political commentator and an entertainer. Nor is he a republican. He's a Libertarian.

04/22/2009 06:25:00 AM

tlpbaps

the said thing though, is that i can appreciate humor that makes fun of my political views. if i couldn't, i'd be a weeping writhing mass huddled in the corner soaked in my own urine. if you want to make fun of conservatives and republicans, have at you. you have my blessing. all that i ask is that you make it funny, and i'll thank you for it when you come through. and this, gladstone, just wasn't funny. are you sure your first name isn't joey? i never said that making fun of or disagreeing with the establishment or policies made one unpatriotic. far from it. that's what makes this country great. scottymac hit the nail on the head.

04/22/2009 05:30:00 AM

FreelanceAngel

When I was selecting Glenn Beck clips one of my favorites was Glenn saying that global warming was a myth because deaths due to extreme weather were down 95% in the last 100 years. Now regardless of what you believe anyone touting that statistic as meaningful is either wildly disingenuous or doesn't understand science. (For those of you playing at home (1) Global warming proponents don't say dramatic changes in weather are increasing deaths at this moment and (2) I think things like advances in medicine and THE ADVENT OF ELECTRICITY might account for people not freezing to death or dying of heat exhaustion. So I don't really care if you're a dem, rep, or libertatian or what have you. That's who you have here and I'll never stop tooling on people who perpetuate flawed logic out of either incompetence or deceit. And I hope I never stop polarizing people. The show IS called Hate By Numbers(tm).

04/22/2009 04:10:00 AM

G-Stone

i watched this with my tackle out gladstone. just thought you should know.

04/22/2009 03:53:00 AM

ouchlolz

This was my favourite HBN by quite a bit. It's always fun to see Gladstone cut loose and go a bit mental, and this impersonation was just that. And Bill O'Reilly Doin' It Live just took the biscuit for me. I lol'd. I'm a big fan of satire in my comedy, this was just my cup of tea.

04/22/2009 01:53:00 AM

lounsey

People like Glenn Beck are one of the reasons Republicans have such a negative image.

04/22/2009 01:47:00 AM

Buccura

Is that a wig G-Stone or did you not dye your hair this month?

04/22/2009 12:24:00 AM

Imonarollagay

Perfect. Absolutely perfect.

04/22/2009 12:23:00 AM

Toad

Also sprach Gladstone: "Politically, I'm fairly moderate. To believe that hating on Glenn Beck makes one a flaming lib is sad and pathetic." Also sprach Mournblade: I myself am a card-carrying Libertarian. I personally agree with almost (ALMOST) everything Glen Beck says. However, I still think Gladstone's HBN episode was funny! I mean, if you can't laugh at yourself, who CAN you laugh at??? Keep it up, Gladstone!!! :-)

04/21/2009 11:37:00 PM

mournblade

HBN? Coming back to cracked? Just when my visits were becoming less then frequent their pulling me back in. Anyways good job Gladstone, would you like to fuck my mother next time your in town?

04/21/2009 10:02:00 PM

Wasman

I thought it was great G-stone! I mean, SOMEONE had to get the word out about how absolutely fucking HI-larious Glenn Beck is.

04/21/2009 10:02:00 PM

Genkai

FUCK GLEN BECK!!!!!!

04/21/2009 09:27:00 PM

crackalacka

Lastly, as for being "sad and pathetic" I believe Troyez summed it up nicely. "This tard calls Glenn Beck un-funny, then tries to be funny, and fails! Priceless"

04/21/2009 08:48:00 PM

4thSurvivor

I've been a huge fan for a long time so this hurts me to say but: That was your worst effort to date. I'd have to agree with "scottymac's" assement.

04/21/2009 08:42:00 PM

tarheelson

Good to hear your friends on Face book and Cracked both support and enjoyed your work. But last I checked thats what friends do. If you only write for your friends and disregard the rest, your not being very moderate. Here, let me play Nostradamus for a bit and predict your next article will "be your greatest work ever" LMAO @ U

04/21/2009 08:36:00 PM

4thSurvivor

A clarification: political humor (Stewart, Colbert) is funny. Angry political humor (Garofalo, Whoppi Goldberg, Rosie O'Donnell) is not (except to a the very few that completely agree with them). Gladstone, I've seen ironic hate and hyperbolic hate from you, but this is the first (and hopefully last) time that I've seen literal hate. And that's not funny.

04/21/2009 08:35:00 PM

scottymac

Wow. All of you right wing neocons have officially gone insane. Get a fucking life. G-stone, you've gotta ignore these morons.

04/21/2009 08:27:00 PM

Tittysprinkles

Angry? Isn't the freaking show called Hate by Numbers? Glenn Beck is an ubertroll that got a tv show. WAAAAAAAA

04/21/2009 08:17:00 PM

fdman

First unfunny HBN. Too bad. Glenn Beck drives me freakin' nuts too, but let's stay away from politics here, okay? Rather than funny you come off as angry. There's a reason Janeane Garofalo isn't funny either. Angry politics isn't good comedy.

04/21/2009 08:00:00 PM

scottymac

Wow, Gladstone went from funny to political in 2.3 seconds. Really, It was worn out after that too long election. I don't give a damn if you're making fun of Dems or Republicans, but its Tired.

04/21/2009 08:00:00 PM

Dresden10589

Guess what Gladstone? Your show still sucks ass.

04/21/2009 07:57:00 PM

BlackMesa

So, as those of you who are my friends on Facebook know, this is EXACTLY the reaction I predicted. I also predicted this to my friends here at Cracked who enjoyed the episode lots and supported it completely. Which is why Cracked is a pretty damn cool place to write comedy for. Politically, I'm fairly moderate. To believe that hating on Glenn Beck makes one a flaming lib is sad and pathetic.

04/21/2009 07:56:00 PM

G-Stone

Also, my SECOND favorite HBN of all time. After Kid Rock.

04/21/2009 07:37:00 PM

blackflag49

I love all the neocons getting butthurt over Gladstone poking fun at one of their idols. Methinks you should quit taking yourselves so seriously.

04/21/2009 07:36:00 PM

blackflag49

This tard calls Glenn Beck un-funny, then tries to be funny, and fails! Priceless

04/21/2009 07:31:00 PM

troyez

Oh god, not that Michael Crichton (sp?) speech again. I'll save you the time everyone. His argument is as follows. In religion, you started off with something good (Eden) then man sinned and it became bad. The only way to redemption is to pray. In environmentalism you started off with something good (the clean environment), then man polluted (sinned) and it became bad. The way to redemption is to stop polluting. Look at how similar these two things are. Coincidence? I don't think so. Environmentalism is obviously a religion. Take that hippies!

04/21/2009 06:28:00 PM

Swaimfan

Oh don't get me wrong, It must be very difficult to string together a bunch of sound bites of a self proclaimed crazy conservative to make him.... sound.......what?? crazy??..... Even harder still to then fill the trough with this sweet marvel to the gluttonous zombie hordes. Thats talent. It no doubt took longer to color your hair white, than to put this grain of sand upon the beach. Some posts claim this as your best work. I now have to find out what your worst is. I'm already laughing at the idea of there being a worst. If you insist on being bias in your work, I would suggest you at least make it so damn funny and original that even you would have a difficult time keeping a "straight face" at least then your critics would know that you at least tried.

04/21/2009 06:27:00 PM

4thSurvivor

You're a fucking idiot if you think the thing with global warming is disputable Mike_2. theavenger121 already said that he's "pretty sure global warming is just part of a cycle and not something that could end up killing us" in a comment before yours. What part of pretty sure don't you understand?

04/21/2009 06:23:00 PM

Swaimfan

I must say I only found this HBN okay. I think Swaim trumped him this week with "The 6 Worst 'Professional' Music Videos on the Web"

04/21/2009 06:23:00 PM

andysexy

Liberalism, the pussification of America.

04/21/2009 06:02:00 PM

unsubstantiated

Gladstone is about as funny as a truckload of dead puppies at the incinerator. Think before you speak.

04/21/2009 06:00:00 PM

wityadidja

Just because you're a human punchline, Mr. Beck, it doesn't make you a comedian.

04/21/2009 05:26:00 PM

pet_virus84

I normally am not the commenting type, but I kinda had to on this one. Read this speech. It's a pretty good one about global warming, and I think everyone should at least give it a read. http://www.crichton-official.com/speech-alienscauseglobalwarming.html.

04/21/2009 04:49:00 PM

funkbrother02

I'm just shocked at the things you can say with a straight face. Good show, and thanks.

04/21/2009 04:48:00 PM

Firecrotch

One of the problems with punditry in general is that it leads skilled journalists to stop keeping themselves in check or holding themselves up to a standard. Pretty soon they forget to analyze and re-analyze every point of view, to look for cracks in every argument, and generally to do the things that probably got them their success to begin with.

04/21/2009 04:26:00 PM

Demmagog

I was tricked, tricked I tells ya! Since I had already given a view simply by clicking the link, I decided to watch the video. Now I feel tricked and cheated.

04/21/2009 04:21:00 PM

Fuckaccounts

Oh yeah, btw this HBN did kinda suck. I am not speaking as someone being political, just someone who came here to laugh. Or, in other words: fail

04/21/2009 04:20:00 PM

mike_2

Back in two weeks! Fucking Awesome!!!!

04/21/2009 04:20:00 PM

Drunk-ass

The thing with global warming is still pretty disputable, but the rant about our guns being taken away and guys with black helicopters taking over, etc is just over the top. Don't get me wrong, I am a good bit to the right and no fan of Obama, but Glenn Beck can be a bit of a nut sometimes. Road to socialism? End of freedom? The dude needs to chill out a bit with his paranoid rants. Its kinda a shame really, since Beck is also pretty smart and has a pretty good understanding of history and the banking system. But then he loses me and his credibility when gets on off a tangent that the UN will take our guns. To be fair, the guy used to be a DJ and then a radio guy. He's a versatile guy. I wouldn't put being pretty good at stand up past him.

04/21/2009 04:12:00 PM

mike_2

Song= utopia - everybody else is wrong

04/21/2009 03:55:00 PM

bebophile

Oh - Martok! Here I am trying to be reasonable with a one-eyed Klingon...

04/21/2009 03:50:00 PM

Demmagog

Martok buddy, I kind of get your core point, but I think you are getting too worked up over this particular example. It should be easy to see why a lot of people (myself included) perceive Glenn Beck as a douche - and at the same time I don't have trouble seeing why his analysis appeals to a lot of people too. I know I'm guessing a bit here, but I think what you are really trying to say is that liberal viewpoints often seem naive and impractical to a whole lot of people. Well, that's true. And it can certainly be argued that those viewpoints are naive and impractical sometimes, and that they are based too heavily on an idealistic philosophy. I think that's a reasonable opinion. But you have to acknowledge the flipside: that right-wing politics are often perceived as hateful and selfish, or at least archaic and no-longer-applicable, by many people as well. And that it's likely they do treat that line and step over it from time to time - or often and egregiously. I think that's a

04/21/2009 03:47:00 PM

Demmagog

I think that's possibly my favourite HBN yet. I also love republicans in the comment thread. All talk about librul pussies and the minute something mocks them it's BAWWWWW time. Also, I must mention Martok's comment contained this sentence. "In the words of 4th Survivor." That's the whole sentence.

04/21/2009 03:27:00 PM

Swaimfan

I don't know who Glen Beck is, but i like Gladstone, and he brings the funny.

04/21/2009 03:21:00 PM

lux

hmm, usually i like his stuff. but this episode might as well been written and performed by keith olberman or possibly jeanine garofolo. i am not some sort of glen beck fan but this b.s. liberal crap like trying to paint ANYONE who has problems with illegal imigration and such as racists is just full of it. ok gladstone we get it.... you are an angry jon stewart lib. i am an independent who has voted for numerous candidates of different parties before and will continue to do so. but this was easily his worst i have seen. i give you an F- glady.

04/21/2009 03:06:00 PM

the_violator

Beck has been doing comedy ever since he's been on TV.

04/21/2009 03:05:00 PM

DallozDoppler

Great HBN. Thanks for the laughs.

04/21/2009 02:53:00 PM

aeon1234

Dont worry maryfofary, this is only the video's first day... the flame wars have only started. I really, really hope David Wong put this in the PWOT soon, and a link gets posted, otherwise, things are going to get ugly, fast....

04/21/2009 02:33:00 PM

Daisho

i think it is pretty obvious to anyone with a brain that the all caps, "HEY a*****e WHY DONT YOU GROW A PAIR" post is fake, only there to to provide an example of a stereotypical angry conservative and call them stupid especially as it was posted by "h8binumberz"...

04/21/2009 02:33:00 PM

Seraphiel

Glen Beck has his opinions. G-Stone has his. Why can't we all get along? :(

04/21/2009 02:30:00 PM

maryfofary

"Oh please, save your political views for the many trillions of other web forums on the net. I came here to laugh. Make fun of Nick Cage. It seems that is the only subject I really find funny on this site anymore." this ^^^ I don't even like Glenn Beck, this just wasn't funny.

04/21/2009 02:28:00 PM

GenghisJohn

Dukie duke, someone gives the answer int he comments every time. And the new one i advised of 3 weeks ago. And it was answered in the comments this week.

04/21/2009 02:22:00 PM

G-Stone

Not flour. It was white hair spray paint from party city. I'm still waiting to be reimbursed. Jack?

04/21/2009 02:20:00 PM

G-Stone

Okay Gladstone, it was funny for a while when you refused to tell us (and still do!) who the regular HBN closing band/song was, despite the pleading. Now you introduce a new one for the "Special Editions" with no accredations just to f**k us over. Well played, sir. May you rot in the hell of people who cannot read between the lines.

04/21/2009 02:19:00 PM

dukieduke

Martok, Glenn Beck has a right to mouth off without fear of being mocked or addressed? Is that like, in the Bill of Rights? Why does humor have to be bipartisan anyway? Comedy is an art form like any other. Glenn Beck sucks. Mocking him is awesome. He's just a fat idiot.

04/21/2009 02:15:00 PM

lasersanchez

Gladstone, I would normally just logon to comment on how unfunny you are and how much I didn't laugh... This time though, I've just come to say: these comments suck. No matter how unfunny you are, you're still more hilarious than Beck. Congratulations on being minimally remarkable. Sincerely, Pluralist dictated, but not read.

04/21/2009 01:59:00 PM

pluralist

Haha, that was flour in his hair...

04/21/2009 01:51:00 PM

Daisho

"This is America, and Mr. Beck has a right to be heard without insult from a hack like you." Say what? America stands for the exact opposite of that. The right of hacks to insult public figures is the very first thing they wrote down on the Bill of Rights.

04/21/2009 01:48:00 PM

sylphhead

Lol... was that flour in your hair?

04/21/2009 01:32:00 PM

Teishu

Martok, Why do you hate America? I mean anyone who would speak out against the president is obviously a socialist. At least, that's the response I got when I would speak badly about Bush.

04/21/2009 01:30:00 PM

BryceS

Boo on this. Glenn Beck owns.

04/21/2009 01:26:00 PM

wormyourhonor

Laugh if you will. Mock if you must. Glenn Beck has the most popular cable news program in the 5 p.m. time slot. He is an intelligent and well spoken individual and, in more ways than one, correct in his analysis. In the words of 4th Survivor. Keep your lame political views to yourself. This is America, and Mr. Beck has a right to be heard without insult from a hack like you. We come here to laugh. Make us laugh. People like you and Swaimmy are much funnier when you are not political. If you are going to try to be political and funny don't forget to be bi-partisan. Obama has made his share of mistakes already yet I have failed to see any article addressing them on this site, thus far. P.S. Besides, Mr. Beck really doesn't care what you think anyway.

04/21/2009 01:18:00 PM

Martok

Oh please, save your political views for the many trillions of other web forums on the net. I came here to laugh. Make fun of Nick Cage. It seems that is the only subject I really find funny on this site anymore.

04/21/2009 01:02:00 PM

4thSurvivor

Best HBN in quite a while. If G-stone wanted to do a whole comedy show as his version of Glenn Beck,I would totally watch that.

04/21/2009 12:37:00 PM

Adam44

And why do the forums blank out the word fuck when they can type it in their acticles. Sounds like communist china to me.

04/21/2009 12:32:00 PM

volkov25

Usually gladstone is pretty funny, but that was less funny than, say, Glenn Beck. And change the ending song back to what it was. The new one fucking sucks.

04/21/2009 12:29:00 PM

volkov25

so lame.

04/21/2009 12:23:00 PM

Honeyporter735

This wasn't funny, it was just Gladstone ranting politically about some guy he hates, with no material to actually point to so we might agree with him. I suppose all you Americans could watch this Beck guy (and so could I if I scan through the satellite TV channels) but I don't want to. Glenn Beck: Half-baked and unwelcome political tirades, with a brief foray into comedy that may well suck. Gladstone: Comedy that doesn't suck, with a brief foray into half-baked and unwelcome political tirades. Interesting.

04/21/2009 12:10:00 PM

Pedgerow

Anytime someone can make a joke at Glen Beck's expense I appreciate it.

04/21/2009 11:57:00 AM

theHeadCase

Damn, I hate when I get tricked to clicking on a gladstone link. Thank goodness I can pause the video while I write this comment. My only regret now is that I gave up another page view.

04/21/2009 11:40:00 AM

socketboy

Gladstone, we really had a beautiful thing going here... I am going to try to look past this, but really?

04/21/2009 11:37:00 AM

noteventrying4

I hate Gladstone, I think he tries to hard or something. He just comes off a little nervous and he can't act as well as Swaim.

04/21/2009 11:28:00 AM

Lando2

HA HA, Hilarity! personally I find clips of Beck being serious the most hilarious. Ah Politics, where left is right and right is wrong!

04/21/2009 11:04:00 AM

CaptainTom

I do not dig it. That was one of the dumbest things I have ever watched.

04/21/2009 10:45:00 AM

mickddp

Excellent work. Commence Digging.

04/21/2009 10:40:00 AM

LanceUppercut

Glenn Beck is pretty crazy dude. Good stuff! HBN ROCKS again! RT www.privacy.pro.tc

04/21/2009 10:32:00 AM

AbleBobby

and gladstone once again does not disappoint. =)

04/21/2009 10:26:00 AM

clewis

"GLENN BECK IS DOING SOMTHING ABOUT IT AND YOUR STANDING BACK GOING "HE SUCKS AT COMEDY, AND LOVES GETTING OUR SOLDIERS KILLED." " Glenn Beck bitches and moans on television about what's happening in the world. How the hell is that "doing something about it?"

04/21/2009 10:14:00 AM

mortoc

HEY a*****e WHY DONT YOU GROW A PAIR AND GET A REAL VOICE LIKE GLENN BECK, HE IS FUNNIER THEN YOU'LL EVER BE YOU BABY FACED BOY TOUCHING FREAK. HEY ATLEAST HE MAKS MORE MONEY THEN YOU'LL EVER MAKE AND AT LEAST HE LOVE HIS COUNRY, NOT ROTTING THE INSIDE OUT WITH ALL YOUR BULLSHIT. GLENN BECK IS DOING SOMTHING ABOUT IT AND YOUR STANDING BACK GOING "HE SUCKS AT COMEDY, AND LOVES GETTING OUR SOLDIERS KILLED." HEY IDOIT IF IT WASENT FOR OUR TROOPS IN IRAQ YOU WOULD BE GETTING YOUR CHOCOLATE FACTORY PUMPED FULL OF CURRY AND QUR'ANS THAT YOU BE PUKING OUT TURBANS. SO WHY DONT YOU GET BACK ON YOUR COMPUTER AND MAKE A VIDEO ABOUT THIS POST AND I"LL GLADLY CHAT WITH A GUY THAT HAS MORE BULLSHIT COMING OUT HIS MOUTH THEN AL GORE. Mr. Beck, don't you have better things to do than post on an internet forum?

04/21/2009 10:13:00 AM

Ateos

HEY a*****e WHY DONT YOU GROW A PAIR AND GET A REAL VOICE LIKE GLENN BECK, HE IS FUNNIER THEN YOU'LL EVER BE YOU BABY FACED BOY TOUCHING FREAK. HEY ATLEAST HE MAKS MORE MONEY THEN YOU'LL EVER MAKE AND AT LEAST HE LOVE HIS COUNRY, NOT ROTTING THE INSIDE OUT WITH ALL YOUR BULLSHIT. GLENN BECK IS DOING SOMTHING ABOUT IT AND YOUR STANDING BACK GOING "HE SUCKS AT COMEDY, AND LOVES GETTING OUR SOLDIERS KILLED." HEY IDOIT IF IT WASENT FOR OUR TROOPS IN IRAQ YOU WOULD BE GETTING YOUR CHOCOLATE FACTORY PUMPED FULL OF CURRY AND QUR'ANS THAT YOU BE PUKING OUT TURBANS. SO WHY DONT YOU GET BACK ON YOUR COMPUTER AND MAKE A VIDEO ABOUT THIS POST AND I"LL GLADLY CHAT WITH A GUY THAT HAS MORE BULLSHIT COMING OUT HIS MOUTH THEN AL GORE. I'm jealous of this guy, look how much retard he packed into one post! You should be proud, Gladstone, for causing this kind of irrational bullshit to be spewed in your general direction. You should put this on a t-shirt as a sign of pride.

04/21/2009 10:05:00 AM

ErinDeidre

gomijin. I just fell in love with you. That was almost as hilarious as today's HBN. Kudos, sir. (Or madam, y'know, just in case.)

04/21/2009 10:03:00 AM

Razok

IDOIT IF IT WASENT FOR OUR TROOPS IN IRAQ YOU WOULD BE GETTING YOUR CHOCOLATE FACTORY PUMPED FULL OF CURRY AND QUR'ANS THAT YOU BE PUKING OUT TURBANS. I am so intensely jealous that you got this comment. That guy not only just said that all middle eastern people want to fuck you in the ass with their bibles, but somehow randomly insinuated that Indians (curry?) are secretly Arabs, and then implied that their sperm is made of turbans. That's...that's a thing that has actually been said now. Those are words that have been typed out for real. In all seriousness. You made a guy so mad that he retard-hate-puked all over himself, and then put it on record. God. Damn. You. Magnificent. Bastard.

04/21/2009 09:30:00 AM

gomijin

Ugh, Gladstone sucks. Nuff Said

04/21/2009 09:30:00 AM

BuckleAU

Glenn Beck IS funny. True, the TV show is lacking abit, but the radio show is hilarious. HBN is just reacting because of his political leanings, but Beck's comedy chops aren't bad. I saw him a while back and laughed harder then than I do at your average HBN. Oh and it was really clever to paint Beck as a racist even though he's never said anything racist in his career.

04/21/2009 09:28:00 AM

GrizzledBastard

Glenn Beck didn't like WALL-E. He has no soul.

04/21/2009 09:13:00 AM

Lbark

Funny vid, i will uploaded this to tall dating site ____Tallconnect.com____ to share with my best friends,especially the hot models.

04/21/2009 09:13:00 AM

Shirleyxx

Ah... flatscan and FreelanceAngel.. thank you for the comments showing me I was wrong. Hopefully you guys enjoy the site. I might recommend CrackedTV with Swaim, David Wong is a phenomenal writer, check out some of the things he's done, and enjoy yourselves.

04/21/2009 09:12:00 AM

Daisho

Meh, I gotta say, I haven't been this unimpressed with a Hate by Numbers. At this point I'm honestly curious as to what would win if you put this one up against the actual Glenn Beck comedy tour.

04/21/2009 09:11:00 AM

Shinfisher3

"One thing I love about the internet is it's predictability. Even though 80% of HBNs have been on CNN, you do one on Fox (even thought Beck used to be on CNN) and you become the must ultra liberal vlogger in the world." The problem is that you did less pointing out stupid things that happened and more listing his politics, laughing and saying, "am I right, guys?" Even if you are right and everyone agrees with you, that doesn't make it funny and if someone doesn't agree with you, it makes it stupid. Gladstone Comedy Boner returns to DEFCON 5 until future activity.

04/21/2009 09:06:00 AM

blemm

Glenn Beck looks just like Jim Carrey's fake best friend from "The Truman Show". Which makes me wonder who's talking in his earpiece??

04/21/2009 08:59:00 AM

faburobin

Oh brother. Don't worry Daishit I'll be posting here more often. This was just so bad I had to make my first post about it. I have watched HBN for a long time now. And this. Was. Weak. Sauce.

04/21/2009 08:58:00 AM

flatscan

Is that Ted Danson??

04/21/2009 08:45:00 AM

daniel.

ad hominem attacks? you caught me with my pants down on that one, daisho. i'm astounded, flabbergasted, and undone by your rapier wit. rather than point out that your poor spelling, capitalization and punctuation errors, and have a name sounds like a bad anime series, i'll point out the irony of your standing up for a site that has allowed you "to see the good nature in people", unless they, you know, have an opposing viewpoint from you. or something like that. maybe you're more conservative than you realize, dai. come to the darkside; we have 401ks.

04/21/2009 08:36:00 AM

FreelanceAngel

Well, Gladstone, I must say that I am a Glen Beck fan myself (and a fairly devout Libertarian), but is he really doing a comedy tour??? Egads!!! That will be about as funny as, say, AL FRANKEN doing a comedy tour!!! (Ouch!) Political pundits should not be comedians, and comedians should not be political pundits. But great stuff as always, Gladstone! Incidentally, tell Michael Swaim that he NEEDS (read: MUST) go back to using "Ghostwriter" by RJD2 as his theme song! He keeps ignoring my pleas!

04/21/2009 08:25:00 AM

mournblade

Actually Beck made me laugh more than Gladstone this time. I'm not going to chap Gladstone's ass too much though. I mean, what do you expect? Most of the comedians these days refuse to go after any of the Obama ass kissers in the media. It's much easier to rip sound bites out of context and make wild accusations that have no basis in reality yet serve to prop up your personal opinions for a few cheap giggles and cheers from the Daily Show crowd. I'll give Gladstone props when he goes after Olbermann or Maddow. Until then stick to talking cats and Zac Efron movie trailers.

04/21/2009 08:25:00 AM

blackhawk12151

This is great, Gladstone. One of my favorite HBN's ever.

04/21/2009 08:24:00 AM

StayClassy

I just noticed a lot of people with the negative comments all just happened to sign up, completely anonymous, today.. and we will probably never hear from again...It's you, G-Stone, isn't it? C'mon, you just wanted find out who your loyal fanbase is... "FreeLanceAngel" that was your nickname in high school, wasn't it? "Flatscan", sounds like you did some things you weren't proud of... and "h8binumberz," c'mon, you weren't even trying on that one. Either that, are I am really going to have be the one to say it: H U M O R. We, the true members of this site, and not the "one comment wonders" know what this site is about. If we wanted political humor, we would watch Daily Show, or even "Doin it live" (Come on, how could that not be funny? I swear, I hope this video stays at the Cracked's front page for any entire year.

04/21/2009 08:12:00 AM

Daisho

Gladdy baby, I think he's done this comedy tour before. Beck switched to Fox? Whoa, I had no idea.

04/21/2009 08:07:00 AM

tank

Was a little disappointed we didn't get a clip of that turd crying and wimpering about how he feared for the country he loves so so very much. Pundits are all douches but holy CHRIST this guy is the biggest bag of dildos let on national television in a long time.

04/21/2009 08:05:00 AM

Rantspace

One thing I love about the internet is it's predictability. Even though 80% of HBNs have been on CNN, you do one on Fox (even thought Beck used to be on CNN) and you become the must ultra liberal vlogger in the world.

04/21/2009 08:01:00 AM

G-Stone

wow... just another juvenile attempt at mocking conservatism, but somehow still not funny. at least the daily show gets some chuckles from time to time. you're right though, gladstone. there's absolutely no basis that the earth ISN'T going to burst into flame by the middle of may if we don't stop driving our earth raping SUVs. why shouldn't we give money to companies? their fiscal responsibility they've show in the past practically demands it! and hey, if they blow through that money, we can just print more! the government has no right to be sticking its dick into the economy. have you considered the fact that moving toward socialism might, just might, have been the reason behind the economic collapse in the first place? maybe america doesn't want to start looking more like canada and france. i know that in these troubled times that it can be hard to work and find good inspiration for your videos, but is this really the best you can come up with? the liberal thing to do would be g

04/21/2009 07:55:00 AM

FreelanceAngel

Stick to regular HBN and forget the "special editions." I want that 4 minutes of my life back. Weak. Sauce.

04/21/2009 07:43:00 AM

flatscan

You... You put up a picture of Bill O'Reilly... and then you added 'Doin It Live'... Why? Why would you do this to your loyal fans? And I was eating. O_O @h8binumberz Oh my. I'm sorry, I'd love to respond and back Gladstone up but you left your cruise control on and forgot to steer so you crashed right into a huge pile of BAWWWWWWWW. You might wanna look into that.

04/21/2009 07:41:00 AM

Tartra

wow... g-stone, i just saw you over at Bucholz's. Wow, I thought you were just an egotistical maniac that only reads the comments at HBN. Good to know you enjoy the rest of Cracked, just like us mortal folks. And, eh, wow!!! For what it's worth. I will never feed the trolls, but I will say that with a video like this, you are going to get some opinions thrown at you. Forget them. I have served my time in Iraq. I have been awarded the Purple Heart. I don't care what anyone says. Your humor, and this entire amazing site's humor, albeit dry at times, is much appreciated if for no other reason than to allow me to see the good nature in people that is incredible easy to forget when witnessing humanity at it darkest for several years.

04/21/2009 07:40:00 AM

Daisho

G'stone, your impression of Beck was one of the best things I've seen you do. @Exile and h8binumberz - because someone attacks a conservative commentator they're unpatriotic? Sounds like McCarthyism all over again. Why is it that the right wing think they have a monopoly on patriotism?

04/21/2009 07:39:00 AM

Dogless

Your country rotting bullshit makes the panties drop, GStone. Keep up the good work. Quote of the Day: IDOIT IF IT WASENT FOR OUR TROOPS IN IRAQ YOU WOULD BE GETTING YOUR CHOCOLATE FACTORY PUMPED FULL OF CURRY AND QUR'ANS THAT YOU BE PUKING OUT TURBANS.

04/21/2009 07:36:00 AM

ala5150

That's right. If people find Gladstone funny, the terrorists win. Sarcasm aside, I enjoyed it! I'm going to digg this, sir.

04/21/2009 07:33:00 AM

catocalpyse_now

HEY ASSHOLE WHY DONT YOU GROW A PAIR AND GET A REAL VOICE LIKE GLENN BECK, HE IS FUNNIER THEN YOU'LL EVER BE YOU BABY FACED BOY TOUCHING FREAK. HEY ATLEAST HE MAKS MORE MONEY THEN YOU'LL EVER MAKE AND AT LEAST HE LOVE HIS COUNRY, NOT ROTTING THE INSIDE OUT WITH ALL YOUR BULLSHIT. GLENN BECK IS DOING SOMTHING ABOUT IT AND YOUR STANDING BACK GOING "HE SUCKS AT COMEDY, AND LOVES GETTING OUR SOLDIERS KILLED." HEY IDOIT IF IT WASENT FOR OUR TROOPS IN IRAQ YOU WOULD BE GETTING YOUR CHOCOLATE FACTORY PUMPED FULL OF CURRY AND QUR'ANS THAT YOU BE PUKING OUT TURBANS. SO WHY DONT YOU GET BACK ON YOUR COMPUTER AND MAKE A VIDEO ABOUT THIS POST AND I"LL GLADLY CHAT WITH A GUY THAT HAS MORE BULLSHIT COMING OUT HIS MOUTH THEN AL GORE.

04/21/2009 07:23:00 AM

h8binumberz

I've decided to use Utopia only for unusual episodes like this one. And Morphine was still in the beginning.

04/21/2009 07:23:00 AM

G-Stone

I miss Morphine....the band and the drug.

04/21/2009 07:20:00 AM

thebyron

Gladstone has the delivery of a 5 year old telling a knock knock joke. I'm done with this site. You guys have fun in your little liberal bubble.

04/21/2009 07:19:00 AM

jdespirito

Great work. I especially like the new insert reenactments.

04/21/2009 07:17:00 AM

InGortWeTrust

still not funny and now just lame how original!! mock a conservative commentator (not a journalist, like gladstone mistakenly thinks, that is not beck's job) i have never seen anything like that before and await further groundbreaking comedy from hbn

04/21/2009 07:17:00 AM

Seraphiel

theavenger121, that's just not true....I'm in a geology class, and we just learned about how the Earth supposed to be headed towards another Ice Age in a few hundred thousand years, but because of a rise in CO2, we're instead making it hotter than it should be and fucking the cycle up.....and unless everyone changes how the world works (reducing carbon emissions), it'll be pretty fucked up in less than 100 years

04/21/2009 07:02:00 AM

wacman13891

arrrg...glenn.beck. ~sigh~ when people 'cross over' to another genre of work be it entertainment (see: joaquin phoenix)or whatever i always feel nervous for them because i know their going to be epic failures and eventhough they are HUGE douchebags....i never like to see anyone fail and be embarrassed. that being said: AAAARRRRGGGG glenn.beck. stick the news or whatever you call it.... NICE WORK though gladstone....well worth waiting for AND it lived up to the hype.....and please NEVER do standup like that again

04/21/2009 06:46:00 AM

rachelgail16

don't get me wrong, i hate beck like i hate almost all other beck's but i'm pretty sure global warming is just part of a cycle and not something that could end up killing us. but whatever happens is going to be played like a crisis for the money so even if it is just a cycle, in about 30 years people are gonna be saying that the world is headed for a new ice age.

04/21/2009 06:34:00 AM

theavenger121

Ooo, "Special Edition". I can't wait to hear the director's commentary. At least now we know (for sure) Glenn is just putting on a show on Fix News.

04/21/2009 06:31:00 AM

Onodera

Comparing Dahmer to Beck is like comparing... apples to... vomit inducing apples that "collect the foamy part of that vomit and turn it into diamonds". And now I have to wait two weeks for the HBN fix. You and Swaim better be making a damn show together, that would be the only legitimate reason to allow us not to get our HBN fix. Oh and I was slightly off... @Beno, the song is actually "Everybody else is wrong" by Utopia.

04/21/2009 06:31:00 AM

Daisho

I'm so glad HBN is back. This was choice.

04/21/2009 06:25:00 AM

ElNimrodo

Very well done. Glen just raised his Douche bag levels to new heights.

04/21/2009 06:24:00 AM

DapperDaveIa

Glenn Beck, the 912 crybaby? Holy shit.... And because I know everyone will ask- "Everyone else is wrong" by Utopia. A fitting song for the "horrible and hilarious" Glenn Beck.

04/21/2009 06:23:00 AM

Daisho

you know I usualy enjoy HBN but this just didn't do it for me

04/21/2009 06:13:00 AM

pariahnola

What song is playing at the end?

04/21/2009 06:10:00 AM

BenO

I'm English so Ive never heard of him, but after seeing this I'm both a little scared and wanting to go see his 'comedy' tour.

04/21/2009 06:03:00 AM

eaststand

Glenn Beck troubles me....

04/21/2009 05:56:00 AM

Synskin

Glenn Beck is a fucking lunatic. I hate him so much...thank you Gladstone. Tear him a new one. He can suck Bill O Reily's cock.

04/21/2009 05:46:00 AM

Woozy

So where's the review of Queef Olbermann's latest breakdown? Maybe he'll have Jeanene Garassahole on again so she can rip into the freedom loving patriots who oppose Adolf Obama. Then again since it was on PMSNBC, noone would see it.

04/21/2009 05:46:00 AM