Worst Excuse Ever?

On top of that, the start sounds like "Cracked Ass", not "cracked Asked" lolz

10/07/2009 02:20:00 AM

Abdz

Lazy but brilliant, well done @ Vita, hmmm I'd have to say yes lolz

10/07/2009 02:19:00 AM

Abdz

very nice..... Plz join www.uploaded.tv n upload ur own videos, music, n photos. You can even upload ur own videos to real TV, globally!

09/11/2009 05:40:00 AM

debasree

I have that Kazakhstan t-shirt! Heck yes. Except I'm a girl. Does that make it weird?

08/19/2009 07:40:00 AM

Vita

Lmfao! The ending did it for me xD

08/12/2009 04:08:00 PM

Mattigaskell

that was kind of funny and ok until the last line which sealed it as hilarious!

07/23/2009 05:25:00 PM

mysterio

Oh My God When that second guy said, "Thank God you're here" and DOB's subsequent facial expression, I pooped a little. I placed laughter higher in my list of priorities than sphincter control. Thank you Cracked, only you could make me do this. -Chickamauga

05/22/2009 10:32:00 PM

Chickamauga

chllngr!!!! nothing in the WORLD could be wrong with him! :o how could you say that about the cutest guy in the world!!!!!

05/20/2009 01:09:00 PM

moogirl226

I agree with DisoDhryce, wtf? Swaim is handsome and willowy, AND funny. There must be something thoroughly wrong with him that we haven't seen yet, otherwise he wouldn't be doing this.

05/03/2009 12:05:00 PM

chllngr

Swaim, you have the most adorable raspy voice in the world. This video makes me laugh every time.

04/26/2009 09:27:00 PM

HisFavoriteAxe

i looove the pink tupperware that DOB keeps his food in. it fits his tiny sexy stature.

04/26/2009 12:37:00 PM

lanie1824

Really? REALLY? DOB is supposed to be tall, thin, edgy, and awesome-looking. And with that often-written-about six-pack. Swaim is supposed to be short and slightly pudgy. And they are the complete opposite of what they should be. Wtf?

04/16/2009 10:19:00 PM

DesoDhyrce

DOB is shorter yet more handsome then i had anticipated. oh and Lex owns you all. especially you gladstone.

04/16/2009 03:33:00 PM

LestertheMo

Hey it's Alex!! He's awesome!! BRING BACK THE WEEK IN DOUCHEBAGGERY! NAO!

04/16/2009 12:02:00 PM

hamsterjelly

@Ibh: I feel that way about all the Cracked guys. They sound so badass in print, then you see the video.... SO nerdy and adorable. It's completely hot. Does Snorg have an "I fuck hot nerds" Tshirt?

04/16/2009 11:23:00 AM

greengoddess

why did I never know how sexy swaim is? this just makes him even better than ever and I want to keep DOB in my pocket and feed him cookies

04/16/2009 10:02:00 AM

rocketscience

by the way, I alredy checked the superman pose at 1:33, he is so lovely (*-*)

04/16/2009 09:24:00 AM

Neko

communismfary: yeah, I'm a fan girl, so what?! That's the only reason why I have an account here...(LOL) Swaim kick's asses! And DOB is cute being so nerdy~ (*-*)

04/16/2009 09:20:00 AM

Neko

Where the hell has Lex been all this time?

04/16/2009 06:22:00 AM

Briceuardo

Swaim, I think you'd be doing us commenters a service if you just made all your videos wearing a giant paper sack over every visible part of you, fan girls are just too infectious for cracked to take on without professional help. Even thats hard to come by most exterminators won't come close to these kinds of infections

04/16/2009 12:28:00 AM

communismfairy

yeah, Swaim's ass at 0:08 is lovely, but even better is the Superman pose at 1:33. check it.

04/15/2009 02:27:00 PM

Emmabee

holy shit this is the first time i've seen DOB move. also he's kinda nerdy lookin

04/15/2009 11:08:00 AM

thtephen

I'm kind of late to the party here. Funny vid with a trifecta of Cracked talent, but I was distracted by DOB(Ditto the wrinkled t-shirt, ellis). Having read all of his articles, I've always pictured him as edgy and cooler somehow. Now that I've heard him speak and seen him with moving parts, he's nerdier than I imagined. Nerdier and more ADORABLE!

04/15/2009 10:35:00 AM

lbh

also... Swaim's ass!! xD

04/14/2009 08:11:00 PM

Neko

I could watch this video for hours... it is so funny~! lol

04/14/2009 08:10:00 PM

Neko

Also, OH MY GOD THEY HAVE CANDY. AWESOME

04/14/2009 04:40:00 PM

Ariel

@tantra, the fact that Swaim is out acting ANYBODY is cause enough for alarm. really. swaim, he has all of 1 tone of voice, though he's definitly improving, which is awesome. but he still kinda sucks, the fact that DOB sucks EVEN more, is absolutely tragic. Also that DOB is so incredibly UNFUNNY on camera verses how hilarious his articles are. also he's a nerd. P.S. I LOVE YOU GUYS, UR SO GREAT. P.P.S. just stay out of acting.

04/14/2009 04:37:00 PM

Ariel

ldfnclnx Swaim.. how utterly hot you are.. mnm And that I loled at the vid. :)

04/14/2009 04:53:00 AM

TeninaT

I have that Khazakstan T-Shirt. From Khazakstan.

04/13/2009 02:52:00 PM

Rogue1stclass

Mad hilarious.

04/13/2009 04:25:00 AM

jjmmtt

Lolz. *liked*

04/12/2009 12:37:00 PM

RoryAnderson

You are so funny guys! I luv you~!!! lol 0:08, Swaim's ass...oh my god *nosebleed*

04/12/2009 10:56:00 AM

Neko

Why can't I watch that???

04/12/2009 05:24:00 AM

annely101

HOLY SHIT!! WERE THOSE BOXES OF CANDY NEXT TO THE MICROWAVE?? YOU PEOPLE HAVE CANDY IN YOUR LUNCHROOM??

04/11/2009 11:32:00 PM

Tartra

Once again, I'm late to the party. If this really was during your lunch break (seriously), then this was really fantastic. The ending was great regardless but it kind of lagged in the middle. And I really think it's only a practise/experience thing but Swaim's a much better actor than DOB. Still, it was pretty funny. And let me be the 122+th person to say OIWBFNOIAFBOBWFAOAF LEEEEEX!!!

04/11/2009 11:29:00 PM

Tartra

Wow, I can't believe I got to see Swaim and Lex in the same video!!! All my dreams are coming true!!! Now all I have to do is find that chick with the three boobs from Total Recall. Great work guys.

04/11/2009 10:52:00 PM

sonyguy

Poor Tom =(

04/11/2009 11:20:00 AM

DreamingAshes

Leeeex!

04/11/2009 10:20:00 AM

Lana

TANK GOD YOUR HERE LOL

04/11/2009 09:52:00 AM

JAKE09050

Swaim makes me want to make man-love to my laptop.

04/11/2009 03:08:00 AM

ouchlolz

That was awesome! As good as some of the great TAM sketches.

04/10/2009 10:32:00 PM

Demmagog

I agree with several people below me on this comment thread. Swaim, can I have your children?

04/10/2009 08:57:00 PM

ginganinja

Wow, I thought DOB was taller... and Lex?! wtf! Anyway, we have to improve our special effects :P

04/10/2009 08:50:00 PM

wreck

Swaim lost some weight

04/10/2009 05:19:00 PM

Flakese

I can't get over how not cute DOB is.

04/10/2009 01:34:00 PM

Astaria03

Oh My God!!!! My jaw hurts from laughing so much!

04/10/2009 10:40:00 AM

hulk67851

Tom O'Brien?

04/10/2009 07:28:00 AM

kingmonkey

Whoop whoop whoop

04/10/2009 03:49:00 AM

Thy-must

omg i laffed so hard in the end.

04/10/2009 02:59:00 AM

Olli

As I recall from some source or another, Swaim is actually exceptionally tall. Our good friend DOB is average height, I'm afraid, which leaves Swaim towering over the masses.

04/10/2009 02:43:00 AM

bigmike53916

@batshitinsane Swaim is a respectable 5'8" and DOB is 4'2",which is considered rather tall for the New Jersey variety of leprechaun.

04/10/2009 12:38:00 AM

glendoor42

i am also obsessed with michael swaim.

04/10/2009 12:14:00 AM

kateyphi

That was awesome!

04/09/2009 11:19:00 PM

keithernet

And that is totally ketchup.

04/09/2009 10:52:00 PM

Imonarollagay

You've worn that shirt in past videos Swaim. Who does your wardrobe?

04/09/2009 10:50:00 PM

Imonarollagay

Absolutely lovely. You people can do more on a lunch break than most can with an entire movie.

04/09/2009 10:22:00 PM

Infinity

Will someone please explain why Swaim is so goddamn attractive? I want to go to a party in his pants and I'm not ashamed to say it.

04/09/2009 10:16:00 PM

nikkifm

The best gay couple on the Internet.

04/09/2009 10:00:00 PM

LCL

Lex! Awesome dude I missed you!

04/09/2009 09:28:00 PM

ComicJunkie87

Oh, good, I thought I was the only one with a Swaim shrine in the back of my closet. Now I know that he...DOES things to people... including straight guys. :)

04/09/2009 09:04:00 PM

StardustMelody

i'm now wondering if DOB is very short or Swaim is rather tall.

04/09/2009 08:24:00 PM

batshitinsane

DOB stabs Swaim with a butter knife. Blood is then added in post-production. Gold. @BB815, it's okay, there's no shame in being attracted to Micheal Swaim; just let it happen. P.

04/09/2009 06:43:00 PM

Pamcakes

good

04/09/2009 06:42:00 PM

vincentius

OK, I'm straight but did it seem that Swaim was both thin and fairly ripped? He seems a little chubby in his little SWAIM article header, but his pecs were pretty damn defined. Clearly, I lied about being straight.

04/09/2009 06:37:00 PM

BB815

To repeat about half the previous comments, I had no idea Swaim was so freaking tall(damn you, chairs!). The amneasia bit was really funny. Also, I loved the effects of blood at the end., how it was moving around and transparent. Great video!

04/09/2009 06:34:00 PM

Mrs.Lovett

Wow that was awesome. Nice seeing Lex again too.

04/09/2009 06:07:00 PM

Impure

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

04/09/2009 06:05:00 PM

crackalacka

This was teh sexy. DOB and Swaim was orgasm-inducing enough, but when delightfully pudgy Lex showed up, I screamed, "THERE IS A GOD!" and terrified my dog.

04/09/2009 05:46:00 PM

Wren

Feeling a desperate urge from deep within myself to rip off DOB's shirt... ...So that I can iron it. Fuck you, maternal instinct.

04/09/2009 05:39:00 PM

Ellis

I love seeing the writers appear in person; it makes me feel a personal connection to them. Apart from Michael Swaim, he's always in videos, he's a video whore. The best bit in this was when the camera angle changed to show the height difference between Massive Mike Swaim and that other one, Brian O'Dan. It was timed perfectly. Get Bucholtz or Wolinsky in! Not Robert Brockway, he's a dirty immigrant who just walked off the Internet boat; let him marinate a bit longer. And don't have Seanbaby in one till at least 2011. There, those are all my opinions on this video. I shall repeat them on the next video you make.

04/09/2009 05:06:00 PM

Pedgerow

Man they seem to shit funnier stuff then me on a good day

04/09/2009 05:03:00 PM

nagaric

Wow. Is it just me or did Swaim get a lot skinnier? Not that I'm complaining.

04/09/2009 04:52:00 PM

Pelephant

My three favourite Cracked guys, together in one video! Most excellent work, dudes. Especially liked the amnesia bit, just classic.

04/09/2009 04:42:00 PM

captain_cranky

Brilliant - you two have transformed a stolen lunch into a CHRONTASTIC PASTABULUM! Oh, and sexy voice, DOB... Fiona

04/09/2009 04:40:00 PM

Fkelleghan

Woooaaahhh, when was Swaim so thin and fit? He usually gives off that chubby guy vibe.

04/09/2009 04:39:00 PM

Sunshine60

Pure awe3some

04/09/2009 04:37:00 PM

D_Mars

Hopefully we'll see more guest appearannces in Lunch Hour sketches Mug Of Pens - Jack O Brien Worst excuse ever - Motherfucking Lex Friedman Next Episode - Hopefully Gladstone doin some physical comedy

04/09/2009 04:30:00 PM

I-Rod

fucking great. why dont you guys do more videos together?

04/09/2009 04:23:00 PM

lopsidedbunny

Holy shit, it's Lex!

04/09/2009 04:02:00 PM

Caboose-1

DOB, Swaim AND Lex all in one video? Awesome. The kind of stuff I've only dreamed of before...only difference is this video made me laugh whereas the one in my dreams made me feel funny afterwards. The only thing that made me laugh more than the video was R4W13Y's comment.

04/09/2009 03:58:00 PM

AtomicSpike

Whoa. I had no idea Swaim was so tall and skinny. I always thought DOB was the skinny one. Maybe it's just Swaim's freakishly large head.

04/09/2009 03:52:00 PM

CoMa7oSe

SWAIM'S SEXCELLENT

04/09/2009 03:41:00 PM

harleyquinn98

Cracked is now pulling out all stops with their videos!!! Great job guys!

04/09/2009 03:29:00 PM

glued

cloons?

04/09/2009 03:08:00 PM

$Jon$

Did Lex Friedman break into the Cracked.com offices?

04/09/2009 02:46:00 PM

Cuindless

Great. Swaim is skinnier than I would have thought.

04/09/2009 02:29:00 PM

Supermutant

Nice haircut, Michael.

04/09/2009 02:28:00 PM

theguy2

oh my god....LEX?!

04/09/2009 02:26:00 PM

Oh_Boy_Mayhem

and holy fuck Dan is a short shit. I still love him

04/09/2009 02:13:00 PM

DraconianKing

It fell apart at the second "thank god you're here"

04/09/2009 01:59:00 PM

mindmatter

Tom is so damn cute.

04/09/2009 01:47:00 PM

tank

Wait a sec, wait a sec, wait a sec. I still WORK here?

04/09/2009 01:47:00 PM

lex

Marry me, Dan O'Brien. And bring your muumuu.

04/09/2009 01:46:00 PM

LolaTheShowgirl

"I'm from Kazakhstan...What is Boooooo-rat?" HAHAHAHAHA These are hilarious, guys

04/09/2009 01:38:00 PM

maryfofary

Lex ftw! I don't know about anyone else, but some of those Cracked fan fictions you guys wrote would make funny ass skits! And more Lex!!

04/09/2009 01:33:00 PM

dnik24

Subtly Withholding Astounding Information on Marsupials

04/09/2009 12:33:00 PM

gatorboymike

Did I hear Swaim laugh in background when Tom says "I've been a fool"? And how anal do you have to be to put your name AND picture on your food in the company fridge? I guess not anal enough since both his lunch and his beverage got ganked.

04/09/2009 12:25:00 PM

Zenobia

Well I'm gonna go ahead and say what everyone's thinking: I am TOTALLY pulling off that extra-large Cracked.com muumuu. You go ahead and you work it, boy.

04/09/2009 12:10:00 PM

daniel.

yeah lex is still there. he's like milton from office space. he still works there, but everyone ignores him and no one pays him.

04/09/2009 12:05:00 PM

sophus00

Thanks Swaim. You're the man.

04/09/2009 11:58:00 AM

chrisjay84

That isn't really DOB. If that was REALLY him he'd be a 7 foot steel-skinned god. Funny vid, i liked mug o' pens better though.

04/09/2009 11:53:00 AM

Archprophet

Awesome - Swaim and Lex - the only people I have ever come to cracked to read/watch.

04/09/2009 11:51:00 AM

socketboy

Wow, great seeing Lex again - I didn't think he worked at Cracked any more. Great vid, guys. Funny stuff...

04/09/2009 11:33:00 AM

Jesus469

I love the way DOB said "glasses". Good show, good show. I loved it more than mug of pens (and I REALLY loved mug of pens...like, you don't even know).

04/09/2009 11:10:00 AM

GreenEyedLady

made me laugh so that's a plus.

04/09/2009 11:02:00 AM

Manne

Swaim, college humor has people in their skits all the time. and they use videocameras to film it just like you did. did you really think you'd get away with that?

04/09/2009 11:01:00 AM

G-Stone

Because he's playing a totally different person. It's an amazing, chameleon-like transformation into another character entirely. Although yeah, after editing it, it did occur to us that it might be confusing.

04/09/2009 11:00:00 AM

MichaelSwaim

DOB, I love your outfit. It reminds me of what my mom wore in the early 90's.

04/09/2009 11:00:00 AM

R4W13Y

Am I the only one who doesn't get why DOB's picture had Tom written on it?

04/09/2009 10:46:00 AM

chrisjay84

Cepstral: Did they do this idea? If they have, can someone link me? Or do you just mean a sketch made with people in an Office, because that makes your comment pretty lame. But seriously, if they actually did this idea, I'd love to see it. I thought I'd seen all the hardly workings, but I could be wrong.

04/09/2009 10:35:00 AM

MichaelSwaim

A College Humor Hardly Working rip off... common guys u are better than that

04/09/2009 10:24:00 AM

Cepstral

I expected DOB to be better looking than that.

04/09/2009 10:19:00 AM

TychPsych

I liked this more than Mug of Pens so there.

04/09/2009 10:08:00 AM

G-Stone

soooo wonderful!!! oh man. highlight of the day, right there.

04/09/2009 09:58:00 AM

magentaelephant

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Swaim and DOB died at the end, too funny. How come Lex didn't die too? Seriously this was pretty damn good,it was no mug of penis but then again what is?, still it made my morning. And I sure needed a pick me up this morning because out of sheer boredom I decided to played Call of Duty 4, which I had originally decided not to play out of fear that it might cause flashbacks and hey guess what ,boy was that fear ever founded. Well got to go , time to get back under my desk, desperately clutching my M1014. Please if anyone enters the room please announce yourself, loudly, in English AND WHATEVER YOU DO, don't come running in the room, screaming at the top of your lungs in faux Arabic, like son #2 did, thinking it would be funny. It gonna be a bitch explaining this away to Mrs. glendoor42. But again, great job guys.Please make this a weekly feature.

04/09/2009 08:52:00 AM

glendoor42

tee hee. two minutes well spent. for the internet, anyway.

04/09/2009 08:34:00 AM

BobbyD84

You know, I love Swaim, and every day I check the site hoping to see something new by him. But I have this strange man-love for DOB that I can't even explain. I loved everything about this video.

04/09/2009 08:32:00 AM

RivenHale

Amnesia? W-who am I? That was SO well done xD

04/09/2009 08:15:00 AM

greeenhaze

What would life be without the random creepy ads on the Cracked comments?

04/09/2009 08:07:00 AM

mangecoeur

Yay! Random murder makes my whole day. "well, he's pissing me off, so I think I'll just stab him."

04/09/2009 07:43:00 AM

Firecrotch

Dear Swaim: Please make it a habit of wearing clingy t-shirts. ~Emerald

04/09/2009 07:41:00 AM

Emerald

funny vid, i will uploaded this to tall dating site http://Tallconnect.com to share with my best friends,especially the hot models.

04/09/2009 07:39:00 AM

Shirleyxx

Nice vid! I certainly did not expect Lex there... did you guys rehire him as office-furniture or something?

04/09/2009 07:32:00 AM

Esmoreit

Not quite as good as Mug of Pens but still good guys!

04/09/2009 07:29:00 AM

EddyRX10

Genius, I'm gonna use that excuse all the time now!!

04/09/2009 07:26:00 AM

Christine

I want to have sex with this video.

04/09/2009 07:10:00 AM

luckylostie

Damn Swaim. =)

04/09/2009 06:52:00 AM

nhuenneke07

Hey it's Lex! And great job yet again on the video. These are great. You've struck gold! It must be non-stop fun to work in the Cracked office.

04/09/2009 06:45:00 AM

Onodera

I loved everything down to the bad acting. Fab.

04/09/2009 06:34:00 AM

Clara

those 5 seconds featuring lex made it all worthwile

04/09/2009 06:32:00 AM

janos

Swaim sportin a little moobage. It's ok, hilarity cancels out moobage.

04/09/2009 06:30:00 AM

Vankook

I can't wait for the full-length Swaim-DOB buddy comedy. There will be hopefully fairly little graphic sex between the two of them.

04/09/2009 06:18:00 AM

JStanshall

Woah, Swaim. Lookin' good.

04/09/2009 05:49:00 AM

JohnnyLiar

Awesome. Just, freakin' awesome!

04/09/2009 05:41:00 AM

Jediknight437

"from the past" Funniest thing you guys have done is ages -- not to detract from the other crap...um, boobies.

04/09/2009 05:37:00 AM

Postmark

AWESOME

04/09/2009 05:36:00 AM

Swaimfan

DOB is not how I pictured him. Lol.

04/09/2009 05:29:00 AM

Panic

Wow. Swaim is a hell of a lot skinnier and cuter than I thought.

04/09/2009 05:06:00 AM

sugarbeth

These videos are great! Also,... ALL HAIL LEX.

04/09/2009 05:00:00 AM

Boonehams

This only makes me love DOB so much more.

04/09/2009 04:55:00 AM

Trishkabibble

Ha ha, I love these!

04/09/2009 04:51:00 AM

opterna

Was that.... was that Lex??? Oh Lex we miss you, please come back, all is forgiven!! What does he even do these days??

04/09/2009 04:32:00 AM

lux

OMG so well done, i now understand why people never meet their future selves.

04/09/2009 04:29:00 AM

jimmy202

lovely! definately gonna use that one day =]

04/09/2009 03:46:00 AM

elspartha

I'm sorry, but... Er... What?

04/09/2009 03:39:00 AM

Benvolio

very nice!

04/09/2009 03:16:00 AM

poison

Nice idea guys, but you need to work on your acting more to be honest.

04/09/2009 03:03:00 AM

QQ-o-matic

DOB, I love you.

04/09/2009 02:52:00 AM

laurenne

I feel that needed an overly dramatic long NOOOOO!!!! at the end. But then again, most letters in the English language need that at the end.

04/09/2009 02:01:00 AM

a_knobbie

i love this video :]

04/09/2009 01:50:00 AM

snowflake!

These lunch hour sketches are truly kick awesome. I loved the cameo by Lex; I kinda thought he had evaporated, seems he's back again.

04/09/2009 01:19:00 AM

bigmike53916

Good to see that the guy with the glasses recovered from being raped in that other luch break ;)

04/09/2009 12:56:00 AM

zeeguy

Frex Leidman!

04/09/2009 12:54:00 AM

theaccount77

Heh.

04/09/2009 12:41:00 AM

drake

I lol'd

04/09/2009 12:36:00 AM

ToyboyTime

At least Lex is still around.

04/09/2009 12:34:00 AM

TipsyMcStagger