Hate by Numbers Returns: Tuesday 04.07.09

Ah that's such good news! Warmest welcome back to you!

04/08/2009 09:51:00 PM

-ibm

So.... where is it?

04/08/2009 07:12:00 PM

valduchi

YESSSSS HBN and Swaim will be the top of this week ............... my life is sad

04/08/2009 03:49:00 PM

xxsebbexx

YES! Hate by numbers is back! I'm going to go out into the street and hug a random stranger! ... okay, now that I have a black eye, I'm thinking that might not have been the best idea. But STILL.

04/06/2009 02:48:00 PM

randomdude

WHEEEEE!!! *squeals like teenage girl at Jonas Brothers concert* Seriously though, excellent news.

04/06/2009 09:29:00 AM

thebyron

Holy shit yeah! Hate by numbers, why did u take so long to return to make my life worth living. I was a about to overdose and the entire time I was watching this I was thinking, "If this is a joke I will blow my brains out that would look like ground beef burritoes have ground beef burritoes taste good."

04/05/2009 05:13:00 PM

pivot

YYYYYAAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Welcome back!!

04/05/2009 01:50:00 PM

Sigma

OH THNIKKAMAN... FANBOY ALERT! GIANT NERDY FANBOY ALERT! G-STONE IS COMING HOME. REPEAT: G-STONE IS COMING HOME. THIS IS NOT A DRILL!

04/04/2009 01:56:00 PM

Cuindless

YES! YES! YEEEHEEHEHEHEEEES! I predict this will quickly become a S.W.A.I.M vs. Gladstone thing. I got yo back, G-man!

04/03/2009 09:05:00 PM

Wren

Finally! For a while there I didn't think HBN was ever gonna make a comeback. Best of luck to you G-stone, I'm sure it'll be better than ever.

04/03/2009 02:46:00 PM

dontpanic49

Glad to see you back, Gladstone! But I am curious about the 4 month absence. Needed to finish up some community service?

04/03/2009 02:20:00 PM

Zenobia

HUZZAH!

04/03/2009 10:39:00 AM

Malky

YAY! This is the best news ever!!! Welcome back Gladstone!

04/03/2009 10:36:00 AM

masta_X

Was that Morphine at the start of the video?

04/03/2009 09:44:00 AM

JimTarbuck

Nice call postmark. I also have it on vinyl. It was my older brother's album and he gave it to me. Buying it on iTunes so I could use it for this promo was surreal.

04/03/2009 09:32:00 AM

G-Stone

Utopia! Damn, I have the vinyl, but it's been ages since I heard that song!

04/03/2009 09:02:00 AM

Postmark

Good news. Welcome back, Gladstone!

04/03/2009 07:51:00 AM

jonnyt

the news must have been asking for it for the last few months.

04/03/2009 07:38:00 AM

WilliamE1978

Welcome back, G-stone! Glad to see my favourite part of cracked.com is finally coming back :D

04/03/2009 06:06:00 AM

Wormster

My friend told a me a hot dating place & ..seekbi.com& ..where you have the opportunity dreaming about dating a millionaire or hot girl ,supermodels and so on.First i can t believe,then i sign up there. i really got many friends including celebrities.it s so exciting.Happy life is up to U!!!!^^

04/03/2009 01:57:00 AM

fulllovegirl

Welcome back, Gladstone! We missed you! We tossed a metric fuckton of garbage and feces, but we missed you every time!* *Joke (C) Mad Magazine, 1955.

04/03/2009 01:19:00 AM

Omnibus

Best news I've heard all week! I'm not even pissed about the economy anymore, now that HBN is coming back! Awesome!!!

04/02/2009 11:24:00 PM

ZenStorm

Welcome back man. good luck.

04/02/2009 10:09:00 PM

owlsayssouth

Yeeesssssss!!!

04/02/2009 10:03:00 PM

Jazzy

'bout frikken time, STONE.

04/02/2009 10:02:00 PM

Wildest_Goose

HBN is damn hilarious. I can't wait to once more sit in front of my laptop with a bottle of jergins and a sock at the ready.

04/02/2009 09:37:00 PM

Glenn711a

Yaaaaaaay! Or, to paraphrase: Yay!

04/02/2009 07:39:00 PM

Kilgour

I will buy the 'bar' for 20 dollars. that's how much it's worth right? Please don't come back....

04/02/2009 07:22:00 PM

tlittlim

WE DEMAND YOU BRING BACK "THE NEWS ON CRACKED"! A HA HA HA HA! No seriously welcome back Gladstone!

04/02/2009 07:15:00 PM

jester1365

Yay!!!

04/02/2009 07:13:00 PM

mindmatter

:) This pleases me.

04/02/2009 07:05:00 PM

LlamaLad

I just came.

04/02/2009 06:46:00 PM

R4W13Y

in need of funds, gladstone?

04/02/2009 06:29:00 PM

Binak_Algo

I found a good place yesterday.It's name seems ___www.seekbi.com___, where i found many LGBT, then i joined it.WOW, it's free.I chatted with them and planned to travel in New York. I feel i came back home

04/02/2009 06:20:00 PM

fulllovegirl

WE LOVE YOU GLADSTONE WE DO, WE LOVE YOU GLADSTONE WE DO, WE LOVE YOU GLADSTONE WE DO, WE LOVE YOU GLADSTONE WE DO, WE LOVE YOU GLADSTONE WE DO, WE LOVE YOU GLADSTONE WE DO, WE LOVE YOU GLADSTONE WE DO, WE LOVE YOU GLADSTONE WE DO, WE LOVE YOU GLADSTONE WE DO, WE LOVE YOU GLADSTONE WE DO, OH GLADSTONE WE LOVE YOU.

04/02/2009 06:11:00 PM

Gman

This excites me. A lot.

04/02/2009 05:55:00 PM

a_penis

Does this mean shitty Net_work is gone? Please let it be so!

04/02/2009 05:45:00 PM

soulsforsale

Oh god I really hoped this wasn't an April Fools Joke, and found it was made on the 2ND of April! YAY!!!

04/02/2009 05:09:00 PM

L04D1NG

HELL, YEAH! I'm so excited, all six of my nipples are tingling!!! P.

04/02/2009 04:26:00 PM

Pamcakes

This will be my best birthday gift this year for sure. I can't wait to see what you're hating on now Wayne!

04/02/2009 04:26:00 PM

QueenGoofy

I'm happier than a gay man with a bag full of dicks........sorry that was a badddddddddd line.

04/02/2009 04:21:00 PM

raja613

I have also signed up almost solely for the purpose of saying "yay". Yay. Zhir

04/02/2009 04:03:00 PM

zhir

I signed up purely to post this comment of epic proportions. Yay. Thankfully, Cabbage

04/02/2009 03:59:00 PM

SuperCabbage

simply... YAY.

04/02/2009 03:58:00 PM

Canadianbacon

Ah Gladstone, your genius has been sorely missed. I am so happy to see you have come back again to spread the hilarity.

04/02/2009 03:44:00 PM

SilverHearted

Great! Looking forward to having G-Stone Back! Dawna By Morphine is the song!

04/02/2009 03:24:00 PM

Jmx70inNJ

Sweet, I'll get my boner ready.

04/02/2009 03:13:00 PM

blemm

When I saw the title for this article I was seriously pissed off. 4/7/09! July? Why are they telling me now, i'll forget by then? But then I remember ye're American and ye do everything backwards there. Except for pancakes. American pancakes fucking rule.

04/02/2009 03:12:00 PM

gimmesometea

GLADSTONE RETURNS!!! THANK GOD!

04/02/2009 02:54:00 PM

Oh_Boy_Mayhem

oh no, gladstone! although your numerous fans are excited to the point of speechlessness (did i mention "SQUEEEEE!!"?), some people are not looking forward to your return. i guess you'll have to cancel it. =( HAHA DISREGARD THAT.IT WAS JUST A JOKE BUT IF YOU DO IT I'LL BE BLAMED.

04/02/2009 02:41:00 PM

MLE05

Yeiii HBN... although it's not my favorite, Cracked it's not the same without it. Now all of you just have to carry Wolinsky back to the offices and everything will be perfect =) it'll be the most columnists I've ever seen on Cracked. And also, pleeeeaase give DOB his own segment.

04/02/2009 02:30:00 PM

pmpkinqueen

GIVE DOB HIS OWN SEGMENT

04/02/2009 02:14:00 PM

FearTheHobbits

NOOO!! SCREW HATE BY NUMBERS!! bring back the douchebag show!!! it was actually funny!

04/02/2009 02:06:00 PM

potterman6293

AWESOME! I can't wait! G-Stone's been dropping hints about this for ages, and it's happening! I'm so happy!

04/02/2009 02:03:00 PM

Jesus469

fuck you, you should have not warned us and just published it. like, at 3am too. that, or make some sort of douchebaggy website hunt-down to find the actual video.

04/02/2009 01:51:00 PM

das_w00tman

If this is some sort of belated april fools joke I will hunt G-stone down and beat him to death with Swaim's body.

04/02/2009 01:42:00 PM

worlock93

G-Stone finally get the contract he wanted??

04/02/2009 01:19:00 PM

Imonarollagay

Fuck everyone who doesn't like HBN, him and Swaim are by far the best people on this website. And possibly in existance!

04/02/2009 01:17:00 PM

SABEROUND

Hot damn! That's the best fuckin' news I've heard all week!!! Yeeeeeeee-HAW!

04/02/2009 01:14:00 PM

mournblade

Yay!

04/02/2009 01:06:00 PM

chemistry11

The only thing I hate about HBN is the beginning music. Ewwwh. But Yay! It's back!

04/02/2009 12:51:00 PM

greeenhaze

Gladstone vs. Swaim. lets see it happen... to the fucking death

04/02/2009 12:35:00 PM

timrecords

Look who came crawling back.

04/02/2009 12:29:00 PM

Robo

I have to laugh. Because for the last four months all I've seen commented on videos is "This sucks! I hate it! I watch these continuously for some unknown reason but it sucks! BRING BACK HBN." And now that it's back, everyone suddenly hates it. Make up your mind! Anyway, yay HBN!

04/02/2009 12:28:00 PM

Sheryce

AAAAAAAAAAAAAH AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH

04/02/2009 11:54:00 AM

Lana

Very nice, perhaps he should do a piece on the new Ozzy sideshow on the idiot box.That crap almost writes itself.

04/02/2009 11:43:00 AM

0rgasm1c

but seanbaby is still coming right? right!?

04/02/2009 11:41:00 AM

cuatico

You should do a special Hate By Numbers version of Without Me by Eminem. Guess who's back, back online, Gladstone's back, it's Digg-ing time (Or "songs by Morphine", if you pronounce Morphine to rhyme with online)

04/02/2009 11:36:00 AM

Pedgerow

So... that is the 7th of April, right? Because the 4th of July is miles away.

04/02/2009 11:13:00 AM

takesages

oh man, HBN....I'm so happy. /sarcasm

04/02/2009 11:07:00 AM

Sara_no_h

This whole week just sucked ass, but knowing HBN will return is like a cherry on a shit sundae. It doesn't really redeem the sundae, but it does make me feel better.

04/02/2009 10:54:00 AM

bigmike53916

here's the thing, HBN was at it's prime around the time i happened to stumble across cracked all that time ago. the week in douchebaggery was coming to a close and i got to witness the start of the next big thing; i have fond memories of those days, it brings me a warm feeling i think Gladstone is the equivalent of Where the wild things are for me

04/02/2009 10:52:00 AM

barnstormer

Damnit, I hate hate by numbers. Bring back Lex Friedman before you bring back this trash.

04/02/2009 10:50:00 AM

socketboy

you said it spewie

04/02/2009 10:43:00 AM

bouchedaggery

This took a bad day, and made it a good day. My life is sad.

04/02/2009 10:40:00 AM

cempirology

"(Expression of Joy)!" "(Witty Comment)!" "(Reference to Weed)!" I'm just too tired to make the effort today. But I wanted you to know how happy I am about the return of HBN. And to all the haters, "(Kick-ass Putdown)!"

04/02/2009 10:30:00 AM

greengoddess

YES!

04/02/2009 10:06:00 AM

TetsuoKaneda

wow, another reason to get high and stare at my computer

04/02/2009 09:55:00 AM

spewie

THERE IS A GOD.

04/02/2009 09:45:00 AM

ala5150

You're such a tease. You heartless teasing bastard.

04/02/2009 09:36:00 AM

GOTI

Glad to hear you're coming back. Can you do us all a huge favor and continue using Morphine tracks in your videos? Morphine owns.

04/02/2009 09:31:00 AM

MandeR

Brilliant Glandstone. Even if some humorless ingrates can't appreciate good comedy, I really love your work as always. Can't wait to see what you bring to the bar this year. Thanks for bringing back this great series.

04/02/2009 09:17:00 AM

Joseph Nistal

Well it's good to see that Fred Savage is getting some work nowadays.

04/02/2009 09:11:00 AM

glendoor42

good to see your return gladstone, 4 months seeing nothing but swaims perpetually changing hairstyle atop his ever-guernying mug... I will count the days to the re-premier of HBN, and wish you the best of luck tacking the green-screen to the wall of your spare bedroom.

04/02/2009 09:08:00 AM

thepoetgrifter

I see that Gladstone's delivery is awkward as usual. I guess it's good that he's consistent...

04/02/2009 08:53:00 AM

Crede777

I believe this link sums up all our feelings. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Mw6H3crLzpg

04/02/2009 08:44:00 AM

Jedifreak

how i've missed your trade mark sign off that's all... for now.

04/02/2009 08:33:00 AM

barnstormer

Hey G-Stone, I've always been a big fan and I think a number of others have been as well. Obviously anyone who hates HBN but yet clicks on the provided link has too much time on their hands. In other words, they are nothing. Entertain us!

04/02/2009 08:32:00 AM

Dami

Cracked has had some decent material since Gladstone left. So much for that. HBN is horrendous.

04/02/2009 08:29:00 AM

qbsean10

Please, just stop. Your punch lines are awkward and forcedly delivered with the grace of a paintbrush jammed in a Parkinson's sufferer's ass. In fact, why doesn't someone do a "by numbers" on all of the different ways a single episode of HBN sucks. One could pause during all the spots where even a laugh track couldn't save your floundering piece of shit webisode. Just stop it.

04/02/2009 08:22:00 AM

1888Razor

This would be good news if Stone wasn't a self absorbed unfunny dick whose act consists of making fun of borderline retarded things that happen on the television. protip- you'd be funny if you were funny, which you are not. also welcome back. comments missed you :D :D

04/02/2009 08:17:00 AM

Pizzabox

I might be a big enough jerk to do that as an April Fools, but Jack O'Brien is not. It's 4 reelz. Thanks guys.

04/02/2009 08:12:00 AM

G-Stone

Jeff Buckley is back from the dead and singing "Hallelujah!" This can't be a joke, Gladstone wouldn't do that to us. Right? I would hurt him (in the form of a zinger) if he did. I've had enough of this April Fools' shit.

04/02/2009 08:09:00 AM

niceBrice

YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!! bring it on!

04/02/2009 08:08:00 AM

interstella

Hey what's that song in the credits I've always meant to ask. ...okay, I'm not serious. But, now that I *am* being serious: OH MY GOD HBN HOORAY. My day has just been made wonderful.

04/02/2009 08:06:00 AM

RivenHale

OMG I am so excited! I now have a reason to get up in the morning, I missed you and I can't wait.

04/02/2009 08:01:00 AM

starberry

Best news of the day.Now if only my broncos can get quinn and rodgers for cutler today will be outfreakinstanding

04/02/2009 08:00:00 AM

Patrick_Bateman

I hope this isn't some ill conceived april fool's thing...

04/02/2009 08:00:00 AM

greybuscat

about time

04/02/2009 07:45:00 AM

simplyscottif2

GLADDY YOU'RE COMIN BACK TO ME BABY YEAH!!! All you fuck faces who bitch about HBN need to go back to eating your boogers quitely in the corner like usual.

04/02/2009 07:28:00 AM

tank

YAYYYY!!!!! :D. I'm telling all my friends, whether they want me to or not!

04/02/2009 07:27:00 AM

TheMonopolyGuy

AHHHHH! :D

04/02/2009 07:24:00 AM

worrywort

youre not funny and I wish you would just go away

04/02/2009 07:09:00 AM

shannon.buggie

YES!! Finally!! People hating on HBN, but I love me some 'Stone! Can't wait!

04/02/2009 07:07:00 AM

dnik24

Guess all good things must come to an end. HBN is more aggressive and angry than funny.

04/02/2009 07:07:00 AM

tinkercone

Well I'm glad that wasn't hyped TOO much so the first return episode will have to be really excellent to live up to it huh? Oh wait... Got my fingers crossed for a smooth re-entry!

04/02/2009 07:02:00 AM