9 Child Prodigies Who Are Clearly Dangerous Mutants

Hahahahahahaha. Swaim, you are amazing.

11/05/2009 04:30:12 PM

Cherie

i've got lazer envy

11/04/2009 02:50:41 PM

xXEzkatonXx

i wish to buy some of your artwork, swaim, if the price is right

09/10/2009 01:01:00 AM

ballrags

you i think that we could really be somewhat smart at an early age if people would just teach us things properly... hell if we develop the most before age 6 why not try to teach us? and dont give me any of that "retain information crap" :P

08/29/2009 08:56:00 PM

jorre9mm

BEGONE DEMON CHILD!!! lol

08/24/2009 02:50:00 PM

explodibur

i have that guitar tuner! i mean laser cannon remote

08/15/2009 01:11:00 PM

scarydairy

You almost gave me a heart attack with the Arthur thing. I commend your skills.

08/10/2009 03:40:00 PM

YellowJr.

I wish I had kids just so they could torment these little f****ers

07/27/2009 04:11:00 AM

Rai999

@bobbob27: hell yes.

07/23/2009 02:37:00 AM

Obitron2000

I think swaim shoul lead the world with his endless amounts of awesome :D

07/19/2009 05:23:00 AM

bobbob27

Be gone demon child! once again, my love for michael swaim has been proven. no homo

06/30/2009 12:26:00 PM

pattrick

great as always

06/23/2009 06:33:00 PM

MikeLiterous

Ha, his laser defense remote was a guitar tuner. . rofl

06/18/2009 02:29:00 AM

SgtBallsworth

D:!!! wow. I COULDNT STOP LAUGHING, "what did you forget to tape an episode of Aurthur!!! XD

06/11/2009 01:48:00 PM

moogirl226

This vid no workie... please fix, I love to watch S.W.A.I.M

05/19/2009 06:47:00 AM

ninjaquartz

Proof once again that all sweet people have played Final Fantasy 7

05/12/2009 02:58:00 AM

Irishmann

"Did you forget to tape an episode of Arthur?" I almost didn't recover.

04/20/2009 03:46:00 PM

slantways

Can not cite just one thing from this video, I love it all. You make great videos!

04/14/2009 11:46:00 AM

N62664

This is alright story; and the chick is ok! only she has good looking!!lol..., i know we men have lots of standards to pick up a woman, and there's one website that can almost meet all our different demands: __T allfinder.C om__ my bros told me this; it worked for them, it worked for me; and i'm sure it's gonna work for u, buddy!!

04/07/2009 09:06:00 PM

tracy14

Jon Stewart @ 0:56 :lmao:

04/07/2009 10:36:00 AM

snowdog30

This one of the funniest videos yet, im nearly crapping myself here at work and my co-workers can hear me...

04/06/2009 09:02:00 AM

jsmuli2

Wow... this video sucked. Everything from SWAIM does, actually.

04/05/2009 06:59:00 PM

SuperGirl21

This was FUNNY! BE GONE DEMON CHILD! and I es**cially loved swiams montage of artwork set to music he composed, Respeck!

04/05/2009 12:58:00 PM

FRANKENSLUT

Aw man, I probably would've been one of those kids if I didn't get hooked on runescape and porn when I 1... no joke seriously this is what happened to me...

04/05/2009 10:46:00 AM

ffmcracdcftw

They played a song by the Who at the end!

04/04/2009 10:59:00 PM

Ozzie_Freedom

Did you see that kid he is a BMX machine!

04/04/2009 05:41:00 PM

juju69

*writers

04/04/2009 12:26:00 PM

tenaciousbre

Ahahaha, what regrettable life decisions to you ache to reverse? And I remember being excited that I could bend my pinky finger back to touch my wrist... Obviously, we need to contact Professor Xavier before these kids turn to the dark, magnetic, gay side of Ian McKellen. We should probably also introduce the last kid to the writer's of Lost.

04/04/2009 12:24:00 PM

tenaciousbre

That drummer kid was OK, but he's clearly no Neil Peart.

04/04/2009 08:31:00 AM

ThePotatoKing

@5:03 SWAIM, you have the same exact guitar tuner as me! This excites me.

04/03/2009 02:29:00 PM

smartaleck

BE GONE DEMON CHILD!

04/02/2009 01:12:00 PM

blueflamegem

"this guy" HA HA HA HA......the kid is like 4....

04/01/2009 10:18:00 PM

miss_tracyh

Give yourself a chance to know, chat and date with wonderful girls or guys. Yes, there is a good place let you to do that--e&--seekbi.com--e&--.Do not forget to tell us, if you get dreamful lovers.

04/01/2009 06:33:00 PM

fulllovegirl

These kids are no threat to me. They may jump over my fucking head and that's fine...that's why I own a fucking shotgun.

03/31/2009 09:27:00 PM

DGenerate

"Begone, demon child!" *ROFLMAO* Nice work, Swaim. You're also an alarmingly adorable pimp. I need to go wash... P.

03/31/2009 07:53:00 PM

Pamcakes

we r fucked

03/28/2009 02:00:00 PM

conley1

18+ please!! Are you sexy people? *** RichFriends.org ***where you can hook up the wealthy singles,sexy beauties. Find your sexy partner easier and more effective! What are you waiting for? Just GO and hook up the sexy singles now! (18+ singles please)

03/26/2009 12:55:00 PM

sexybeauties

is clippy died?

03/22/2009 01:16:00 PM

hoovy

Man, I haven't done SHIT with my life... I didn't even get into college till I was 16. An hero here I come...

03/20/2009 02:10:00 PM

littlemiss_rk

good to see........ Here in comes, the generic search format of Uploaded.TV that helps you to display your talents be it singing, dancing, or making movies to the world on real TV! Just, shoot your performance video and upload it in www.uploaded.tv. Your video will appear on real TV, all over the world

03/20/2009 06:32:00 AM

debasree

Nice guitar tuner laser cannon activator :D

03/18/2009 07:26:00 PM

Risonhighmer

do you miss my dog?

03/18/2009 07:17:00 PM

demonk911

Nooo~~ Why did you used that clip,I haven't finished Final Fantasi VII and now... Spoiler... (TT.TT) Anyway, it was super funny~! you are awesome Swaim-senpai~! (I'm not japanese just a friky)

03/18/2009 07:06:00 PM

Neko

i miss my dog...

03/18/2009 06:44:00 PM

demonk911

Kinda makes me depressed that I wasted my talent. Maybe I should get my windshield repaired?

03/17/2009 06:55:00 PM

Fuckaccounts

I love your korg Guitar tuner laser.

03/17/2009 12:49:00 AM

rojer

his drawlings with his music, freakin hilarious "scissors" lmao

03/16/2009 12:19:00 PM

nicksterr1

OMG, i laughed so much when he said, did you forget to tape an episode of arthur!!!! LOL

03/16/2009 05:18:00 AM

moogirl226

that was the funniest one yet. i fucking love cracked TV

03/09/2009 08:45:00 AM

Oh_Boy_Mayhem

did you get my idea? the blood might have faded by the time you woke up.

03/09/2009 07:00:00 AM

RandyChimp

"allow me to play you out" that's not words. there's no words there. i don't know what that means.

03/09/2009 01:02:00 AM

MLE05

Ah, clippy's a hippie, anyway. Jeebus, #1 could just time travel and clone himself to replace all those other kids. Jeebus, an army of obnoxiously capable Renaissance toddlers. *lrns 2 gun*

03/08/2009 12:26:00 AM

TJF588

Good old Cracked stuff. Here are more fun videos, "Week's Most Hilarious Videos 3/9" http://tv1.com/playlists/370

03/07/2009 02:40:00 PM

sky_slasher

Bahahahaha! Clippy stupid kids with their time travel

03/07/2009 10:04:00 AM

Ice9

Seeing the people who write the stuff I wank off to is very comforting.

03/06/2009 09:08:00 AM

skatfree

Great as always. SWAIM! I would recommend, however, going back to using "Ghostwriter" by RJD2 as your ending theme.

03/06/2009 08:00:00 AM

mournblade

Aeris death Clippy makes this the greatest video on Cracked.

03/06/2009 07:03:00 AM

Natnie

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03/05/2009 08:14:00 PM

Grace66

Next Week's Topic: A memoir for clippy

03/05/2009 05:16:00 PM

POLLY

Fairly funny! Overdone in some places, but overall a decent effort. 3.7 out of 5 stars.

03/05/2009 04:20:00 PM

PsyberKayos

Swaim I command you to to tell me how you turned a harmless KORG tuner into a device of death. A death device if you will. Bring the blueprints to the next meeting.

03/05/2009 08:00:00 AM

Dude12052

funny vid, i will uploaded this to tall dating site :-) ___Tallmingle.com___ to share with my best friends,especially the hot models.

03/05/2009 06:26:00 AM

AndyM23

He does look different doesnt he? :p

03/05/2009 06:02:00 AM

Alexicon

Did you get a haircut? You look different...

03/04/2009 09:45:00 PM

UnFlightplan

CLIPPY'S DEAD?!

03/04/2009 04:36:00 PM

Disfigurine

What the fuck!? How the fuck did that kid do the pool thing!? SWEET BEARD OF GUAN YU

03/04/2009 10:54:00 AM

Nktalloth

nice ff7 and the who

03/04/2009 08:58:00 AM

wizardofchron

Wait, what the hell is that blur effect on his cheeks? I hope you're not trying to make your face look thinner, Swaim. Really, it's fine the way it is.

03/04/2009 08:55:00 AM

Karn

You're a dick, Swaim! Why'd you have to bring up the fact that I FAILED sweet Aeris again!!

03/04/2009 08:24:00 AM

AmbroseKali

Aw, man... This video was awesome, and yet, all I can still think about is... Poor Aeris.... Yes, Aeris, not Aerith....

03/04/2009 06:41:00 AM

Chojinra

wait for it

03/04/2009 04:40:00 AM

shnkrnryn

swaim wins again

03/03/2009 11:24:00 PM

chillage

Is that laser remote a guitar tuner?

03/03/2009 11:06:00 PM

Dr_Tchock

Fuck, swaim is god.

03/03/2009 10:20:00 PM

Dr.Astronaut

I just realised that the second kid "composing" is in my schools auditorium. That is so fucking weird, but it makes sense cause our school's the "best" music school in the state. Damned kids.

03/03/2009 06:43:00 PM

Shame

Oh god that first kid. I was GOING to teach art, but I think now I'll just sit at home and masturbate all day.

03/03/2009 04:45:00 PM

PostmodernMacro

I love swaim. Simple as. Keep it up dude :D

03/03/2009 03:40:00 PM

dragontamer363

All those kids were boring, and even the 10 year old knows he's not the shit, all he does is work hard, which is the backbone behind all of these "amazing" achievements, that doesn't make him god, that just makes him determined, big whoop. I guess that does sound kind of bitter, but hey, life isn't all about being the best at everything ever and writing papers that your friend wouldn't understand, it's just about living, and that punkass mother fucker is wasting his childhood. Plus he's probably gay too.

03/03/2009 02:51:00 PM

ChorniyVolk

Okay, Swaim is awesome. That's all.

03/03/2009 02:09:00 PM

Controversy

my favorite episode so far :D

03/03/2009 12:08:00 PM

Ruskayakorova1

Quick! We need to feed all of these children fast food, and now! Ingesting copious amounts of transfat over the next 5-10 years should slow down those muscles and brains. Viva la resistance!

03/03/2009 11:36:00 AM

Zenobia

But they aren't psychic. Big deal.

03/03/2009 08:29:00 AM

G.I.Poo

This was hilarious. But, it should've been longer! It seems like you kind of booked through the list, it's great when you spend more time on each one, I mean, this is like a critique by way of compliment, it was so hilarious that I wanted moar.

03/03/2009 08:23:00 AM

beatcamel

Haven't been a big fan so far ... But today was hilarious ... Scissors nearly killed me ... What kind of girl are you looking for? Two balls between the legs

03/03/2009 08:21:00 AM

bridger74

Final fantasy XII, nice.

03/03/2009 07:57:00 AM

domtrack

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03/03/2009 07:22:00 AM

AndyM23

hahahaha "did you forget to tape an episode of Arhur?" Classic.

03/03/2009 04:32:00 AM

Chunkknuckle

I'm really not too concerned about Riley from the Boondocks playing basketball.

03/03/2009 01:24:00 AM

petegraf

Hahaha oh no, Aeris.

03/03/2009 01:17:00 AM

mollymerly

Perfect.

03/03/2009 01:05:00 AM

Dierdre

I KNEW there was a good reason for my decision never to have kids (apart from the fact that I hate kids). Thanks for the timely warning, Swaim - I'm going to go away right now and put 'May give birth to dangerous mutant' on my list of why procreating isn't worth it (just above 'would be a terrible mother' and just below 'vaginal tearing').

03/03/2009 12:55:00 AM

captain_cranky

Easily one of the best episodes I've seen- though now I feel horribly, horribly inferior. Even more so if you saw how I spelled 'inferior' before spell check. @ BrundleFly Dear god, you're right! You'd think he'd revert to child form before he made this list, in the hopes of getting into it, though.

03/02/2009 10:23:00 PM

ka_la_la_lira

Is... Swaim getting younger?

03/02/2009 10:04:00 PM

BrundleFly

shit you guys its effing swaiM! hahaha

03/02/2009 09:46:00 PM

PitScorpion

Man, Swain, you are a genius.. The teleport comment made me die.

03/02/2009 09:28:00 PM

jngrow

So Aerith dies huh? Thanks for the spoiler alert buddy.

03/02/2009 09:21:00 PM

CaptainCapstan

clipy NOO!!!!!!!!

03/02/2009 08:45:00 PM

Sev Squad

Oh yes!? well I already got LAID, Ph ucking D astards!!!... Actually I only had oral secs, but still.

03/02/2009 07:33:00 PM

RichardLust

I like how your laser is activated by a Korg metronome/tuner.

03/02/2009 07:25:00 PM

pailoong

Has Stephen Hawking actually stopped shitting himself?

03/02/2009 07:06:00 PM

Stan Lestrange

Your art + music you composed made the video for me.

03/02/2009 06:51:00 PM

Santamaycry

I'm pretty sure this is my all time favourite Cracked TV episode.

03/02/2009 06:49:00 PM

EddieBrock412

Swain, would it be too much for me to ask you to spread your love buns for this adoring 6'7 black male who also happens to have fallen in love with your awesomeness? i mean... it's not that much to ask... *is banned*

03/02/2009 06:36:00 PM

Frnnkdlxx

I'm feeling inspired to track down a few episodes of Doogie Howsers. And yeah, these kids may be great and all, but they can't even drive themselves to school, practise or galleries (nope, not bitter) Why do I get the feeling the missus could be of the blow-up variety? Or is that just wishful thinking?

03/02/2009 06:35:00 PM

YellowPages

hey, stephen hawking was shitting himself ten years ago too.

03/02/2009 06:28:00 PM

mcgugange

lets see those sword kids stop a bullite

03/02/2009 06:25:00 PM

zeta959

i noticed something his *remote control* is actually a guitar tuner

03/02/2009 06:14:00 PM

Cube3

thhis was probably the least awesome one so far. but still far more awesome than other shit on the interwebs. i'm still laughing about "bleep bleep, fuckin, pot powerup"

03/02/2009 06:11:00 PM

robocarnage

YOU WIN THE PRIZE!

03/02/2009 06:01:00 PM

dushanbe4

That's hilarious. I loved this one.

03/02/2009 05:45:00 PM

Batman?

Michael Swaim makes me hot. Yummm

03/02/2009 05:30:00 PM

DANZI

@feralboy12 rofl, wtf is your problem? You reach your mental peek and are pissed about it?

03/02/2009 05:22:00 PM

Zerocyde

I would say this is the best episode so far. Glad-who? Also, I can recite pi to ELEVEN places (twelve if you include the "three point" at the start), and while that might not sound impressive, I can do it in English without sounding foreign. Beat that, ethnic arithmewizards.

03/02/2009 05:19:00 PM

Pedgerow

awe some

03/02/2009 05:10:00 PM

vincentius

So you got a bunch of kids composing music that about five people listen to, getting really good at bouncing balls and/or spinning on their heads, painting pictures you see at the dentist's office, and I'm supposed to feel insignificant or worthless? Even astrophysics boy will accomplish nothing if we the ordinary don't build him his Very Large Array of Colliding Telescopes or whatever.

03/02/2009 05:01:00 PM

feralboy12

well swaim, it seems you have me trapped! You made this this video so good I'm going to have to watch it again tomorrow.

03/02/2009 04:43:00 PM

Palvino

Dude, you are getting really good at doing these shows.

03/02/2009 04:24:00 PM

Derec

props swaim, that was wicked.

03/02/2009 03:59:00 PM

millertimeftw

Lex Friedman was funnier than this guy. Cracked really does need to re-hire him or something, because at least his vision of the news was intelligent and thought-provoking. Come on, Cracked! Sincerly Yours, Lex Friedman

03/02/2009 03:58:00 PM

LongTimeReader

Greengoddess, you made me do a whisky spit-take when I realised what you'd done. I like it. PS You owe me for the extra shampoo I'll now need to use to clean my beard. Whisky dribble has a strong odour.

03/02/2009 03:30:00 PM

Malky

wow this video makes me feel so insignificant lol

03/02/2009 03:13:00 PM

roxmysox

that was just so damn funny... that was really fucking funny...

03/02/2009 03:06:00 PM

Ivan the Russian

Ive got a bucket of my blood. Now I just need your address, Mr. I Live In La Jolla.

03/02/2009 03:01:00 PM

satauros

I pissed my pants at the "scissors" picture.

03/02/2009 02:57:00 PM

Nathan_lol

The blues-guitar kid is in my band now.

03/02/2009 02:57:00 PM

Yarp

Yikes. Children like this make me swear I'll never have kids. But then I remember that there is NO WAY any offspring of mine would be this monstrously brilliant.

03/02/2009 02:44:00 PM

Katy

Oh, Aeris. I don't know FF at all.

03/02/2009 02:43:00 PM

Ganon

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03/02/2009 02:39:00 PM

justinmm

Was that Tifa Lockheart?

03/02/2009 02:38:00 PM

Ganon

Swaim, if you weren't way out of my league, a successful internet comedian, and also if we weren't both dudes, I'd go out of my way to make you a drunken mistake.

03/02/2009 02:33:00 PM

ramenkingroshi

You assbut, you killed Aeris AGAIN!

03/02/2009 02:31:00 PM

Briceuardo

Last I checked, guitar tuners weren't laser-related...

03/02/2009 02:09:00 PM

ayeroxor

@jutuomin of course, mozart died in his thirties, so there's that to take into consideration. I'm not so sure how good his condition was :D

03/02/2009 02:05:00 PM

bouchedaggery

Thanks Pistil, saves me an explanation. Ungoliat, I can't be arsed getting into an argument but I will say this: Johnnystreets made an entirely innocuous comment involving a reasonably esoteric society. A member of said society sees this comments and acts as though he's just written an essay on why Hitler was great and how homophobia, racism and misogyny should be the basis of a wonderful new world. To me, and perhaps others, your over reaction suggests that if something this small is worth so very much to you then perhaps your world needs to be expanded. This comment has made me sound like a proper twat, but I think it needed said.

03/02/2009 02:04:00 PM

Malky

An awful lot. Not a lot of awful. Or a lot about of awful.

03/02/2009 01:47:00 PM

Pistil

@Malky: how does that tell you lot of awful stuff about me? He kinda knew who it was and tried to be awesome posting that comment. FFVII is an amazing game. How does the fact that i played it tell you a lot about of awful stuff about me?

03/02/2009 01:31:00 PM

ungoliat

Awesome. It actually made me feel a little hope. And considering how depressed I been feeling given the current economy, that was a great achievement.

03/02/2009 01:24:00 PM

ludovicopaleto

Swaim's Wife isn't All that. I love him More.

03/02/2009 01:19:00 PM

greengoddess

Eh, #1's Asian. SO for an Asian kid, he's... pretty smart, I guess.

03/02/2009 01:12:00 PM

EinDose

Swaimy's married?

03/02/2009 01:10:00 PM

Impure

Nice spelling there.. But my point was still (hopefully) quite clear: Mozart was not deaf..

03/02/2009 01:07:00 PM

jutuomin

I am quite sure some have already states this, but to be sure.. Mozart was on deaf. He actually died in quite good condition (compared to the others of his time).. It was Beethoven who composed his last pieces completely deaf.

03/02/2009 01:03:00 PM

jutuomin

One of my favorites to date! I like forward to the next ep.

03/02/2009 12:58:00 PM

IONehek

As if I needed another reason to hate children.

03/02/2009 12:50:00 PM

niceBrice

Damn, that was an impressive bass solo. I think you ripped off that Scissors painting from Warhol though, you should give him credit in the video otherwise its just plagiarism.

03/02/2009 12:49:00 PM

Arseny

damn i'm going to that #1 kids house and ask him to be his pet. all hail the time travel child

03/02/2009 12:33:00 PM

crank916

Swaim is the ultimate in comedy

03/02/2009 12:28:00 PM

SABEROUND

ungoliat; the fact that Johnnystreets got that wrong says very little about him, however the fact that you got that worked up about it tells us all an awful lot about you.

03/02/2009 12:19:00 PM

Malky

Damn good job Swaim and your ... hair ... looked... great..really.

03/02/2009 12:05:00 PM

glendoor42

I didn't know you played the bass, I want to hear more.

03/02/2009 11:36:00 AM

ofursnati

awww, Swaim, you look so cute in this vid. :3 Every time I watch one of your videos I get a bigger crush on you.

03/02/2009 11:25:00 AM

SystemError

@Johnnystreets: ITS AERIS U IDIOT AERIS! DONT TALK IF U NEVER EVEN PLAYED THE GAME IDIOT!!! :@

03/02/2009 11:10:00 AM

ungoliat

Thank god we've got DOB's abs to protect internet commedy from these bastards. Lets see a four year old make crude suggestions to Molly Cyrus or compose lengthy pieces on dicks, then I'll be afraid.

03/02/2009 11:01:00 AM

tshp

lol, a metronome

03/02/2009 10:47:00 AM

skiddlecrumms

WAIT. ARITH DIES?!?!

03/02/2009 10:42:00 AM

johnnystreets

I love Michael Swaim. The only guy I know that can make me laugh over and over. He has a real lucky wife.

03/02/2009 10:37:00 AM

RedCricket

Hilarious. I've gotta start watching these. Excellent ending song choice! The Who, yeah!

03/02/2009 10:29:00 AM

fiforever

Well done once again Swaim, absolutely hilarious Just wondering all you crazy fan-girls...did you not notice the ring? Hahaha

03/02/2009 10:24:00 AM

maryfofary

Soo, this kids will rule the world. And they will be better at it then we can imagine? Sooooo, we can sit back an keep watching porno and leave the geniuses run the planet smoothly. I see nothing scary at that. Except their

03/02/2009 10:19:00 AM

Raz

does the fact that its clippy make it automatically a male? i also have a bat, for the zombies. lastly, alert level stork. sooo funny.

03/02/2009 10:04:00 AM

PitScorpion

hahahaha . . . . scissors

03/02/2009 10:00:00 AM

theHeadCase

Ok, so they got most of us as far as the whole "doing something with your life" thing. But I know I can take the one fighting kid who just fell over. Mutant ability or not I will lazily sit on that kids chest until his last heart beat.

03/02/2009 09:29:00 AM

johnndisco

im so worthless....fuck you Swaim!

03/02/2009 09:18:00 AM

Goth

i am Seriously Worried About Intelligent Minors

03/02/2009 09:06:00 AM

Demmagog

THE WHO! FUCK YEAH! On a side note, I now feel completely terrible about how little I've done with my life. Thanks.

03/02/2009 09:04:00 AM

GenPayne

props for killing Aeris, that bitch was annoying

03/02/2009 08:59:00 AM

sholva

Nice tuner *cough* ...I mean, "Laser Deploying Device" at the end there ;] Great episode though, had me laughing out loud through most of it.

03/02/2009 08:52:00 AM

ArcticMetal

@12Pack Yeah I was thinking the same thing. I have one of those and immediately recognized it and now I know the true power that it holds!

03/02/2009 08:52:00 AM

Madchester

Great episode.

03/02/2009 08:49:00 AM

Siebenstein

Oh no! I meant "the second time you read it". How silly of me. It's almost typical that something like that would happen in a post which was supposed to correct a previous post. You might be lolling to yourselves after that one, and you know what? I might just join you.

03/02/2009 08:44:00 AM

Swaimfan

I meant written, not writeen. As for the rest of you, I assure you that what I've written (see?) makes sense. I think some of you may get confused just after the brackets, so maybe you should try ignoring them the second you read it.

03/02/2009 08:42:00 AM

Swaimfan

mr.swaim, it seemes that the more degenerate your appearence, the funnier your videos. *three slow claps* not sarcastic, i loved every minute of it.

03/02/2009 08:39:00 AM

das_w00tman

Michael Swaim, I want to have your babies.

03/02/2009 08:38:00 AM

kazarkus

Wait, hang on a second. Swaim's not funny in written word form? Where the hell did you study Doctorchaos? The stupid moron school of retarded fuckwits who will never amount to anything leaving behind a legacy of failure and shortlived moderate mourning because whatever limited success they achived was always eclipsed by their inablity to understand comedy (due no doubt to a combination of poor environment and defective genetics) and deliver their malformed opinions to the best in the business in a way that doesn't come across as being writeen by a narcissistic wanker who's personal development was stunted by a self-satisfied smugness which builded him to his own overwhelming inadequacies school of medicine? Because I've got news for you mister, there is no such school.

03/02/2009 08:36:00 AM

Swaimfan

Dude, nice.

03/02/2009 08:24:00 AM

unamerican

D= Mrs. Swaim? Baby, does this mean we can't make our own child prodigies?

03/02/2009 08:08:00 AM

maudlindoll

Oooh, a wife? And here I was getting ready to take a cross country journey to steal your heart and sweep you off your feet. Of course,I would take bathroom breaks, leaving me much superior to that astronaut chick. But you've broken my heart. *sniff*

03/02/2009 08:02:00 AM

TaiDollWave

Babe, did you drop lbs? And: nice haircut!!!

03/02/2009 07:55:00 AM

DirtyJerz

As usual, Mr. Swaim, you bring joy to my soul. Joy somewhat reminiscent of... of butterflies... fluttering gailey through flowered fields.

03/02/2009 07:49:00 AM

DorkButton

Hah and I own a bat...Kudos, Swaim, for saying on your show what I think every time I see a child.

03/02/2009 07:47:00 AM

FacadeFrosting

Hah! I feel no jealousy. I get to play Call of Duty, cuss and drink iin college. I will be knee-deep in a pool of beer, and these little shits will be friendless and bored!

03/02/2009 07:45:00 AM

RuvreeJohnson

Ie&MichaelSwaim But dude is he really married?

03/02/2009 07:40:00 AM

timesamillion

A pleasure as always Mr Swaim.

03/02/2009 07:29:00 AM

DapperDaveIa

Your terror and resentment seems pretty real Swaim. ; ) As per usual, this was awesome. I'm sad that Clippy is dead.

03/02/2009 07:22:00 AM

youllforgetit

The problem with most "Child Prodigies"(For those of your who don't really pay attention past them doing their cute children genius tricks) is that they get hit with an enormous amount of pressure to be even more awesome growing up. Some of those painting we saw there? Flowers, horses, and faces? Nice stuff, great stuff actually, but there will be great demand for more meaningful pieces later. Sooner before later they've "Lost their touch" because just as normal children fail to meet ridiculously impossible expectations, these kids are hit with even higher levels of stupid demands. Many will turn to drugs or alcoholism, or just become apathetic and even more unachieving than most, telling people about how awesome they were as kids.

03/02/2009 07:16:00 AM

Cytrode

Haedrian: You're not too late for a threesome.

03/02/2009 07:10:00 AM

Firecrotch

They'll all go downhill (and uphill at the same time) when they meet alcohol. It's only a matter of time...

03/02/2009 07:09:00 AM

TheSlurpeeMan

MORTAL KOMBAT!!!

03/02/2009 07:01:00 AM

drunkpiano

A missus? Guess I'm too late :(

03/02/2009 06:55:00 AM

Haedrian

Wow...now I feel liek crap. My greatest achievment today was not being hungover when I woke up

03/02/2009 06:47:00 AM

Laurara

That was extremely funny. Great job as usual.

03/02/2009 06:45:00 AM

Onodera

That laser remote looks an awful lot like a Korg GA-30 Guitar/Bass Tuner. That might be why there was a misfire...

03/02/2009 06:41:00 AM

12pack

i feel like a useless adult. thank you swaim... thank you! :[

03/02/2009 06:36:00 AM

ouchlolz

this was so funny!! I love these videos :D

03/02/2009 06:36:00 AM

GreenMegsAndHam

Best countdown yet, and even better hair :) Is that a wedding ring? It looks wickedsticks

03/02/2009 06:29:00 AM

Konton-Kyoudai

This is just too funny to watch in the office without people thinking your a crazy

03/02/2009 06:21:00 AM

CaymanBrum

Damn kids, being all artistic, writing music, playing sports with a healthy, if immodest, sense of fair play, GOING TO COLLEGE?? I mean, who's going to mug me?? Kids these days. No bloody consideration for anyone.

03/02/2009 06:10:00 AM