The Terrifying Truth Behind Valentine's Day

Welcome to join the Millionaire Friends circle: ****WealthyCupid.org*** where you can hook up the wealthy singles,sexy beauties. Find your sexy partner easier and more effective!http://www.wealthycupid.org/

10/28/2009 07:21:12 AM

crazygirl

Very funny!!!!! Hey guys, how long have been single? Do U wanna find your special one easier and more effective?? Please check out__WealthyCupid.org_The #1 club for seeking the wealthy singles, sexy beauties and even hot celebs. What are you waiting for? Find your sexy partner NOW!

10/26/2009 12:30:00 AM

crazygirl

i almost died laughing from the opening scene

10/04/2009 02:16:00 PM

seanLAX8

Michael Swaim can show up in my room, dressed in a robe any day!

09/25/2009 08:09:00 PM

Shelly13

joe glow needs to get a life

09/03/2009 11:09:00 AM

podger

Aw man. That chick is a cutie. =)

09/02/2009 09:05:00 PM

carlos2512

that fuckin rocked

08/21/2009 09:27:00 PM

suburban_t

Very funny!!!!! I suggest you a site www.uploaded.tv which offers an opportunity to make money by uploading videos, photos and music!

08/03/2009 04:21:00 AM

debasree

There is a legit site (syphtr) that tells directors/reps about "unknown" actors - decent move for us who are still struggling, just FYI.

06/25/2009 01:19:00 PM

Elisabeth09

Zzzzzz! Zzzzzzz! Zzzzzzz. I actually got through almost 45 seconds of this before I fell asleep.

06/17/2009 10:20:00 AM

tomboys

This had to have been the funniest thing I've seen since that batman video. Swaim is a genius!

05/06/2009 11:37:00 PM

DUbblecoMB

I'll never get that 2 min back thanks cracked

05/02/2009 06:55:00 AM

ddt3500

Shook his head to eat pills? Prohibited drugs

04/29/2009 06:12:00 AM

china_xj

Asbestos candy is the shiiiiit. And so is SWAIM. And whoever that chick is.

04/27/2009 03:24:00 PM

Lorzor

The truth behind valentines day, the truth. If you think about it love is just a commodity if you don't really care about someone. And the worst parents ever, fucking hilarious!!!!!!!

03/08/2009 08:10:00 AM

Drewdogg

boring. I found a tall chix & guys love making club at tallkiss .com

02/28/2009 06:43:00 AM

cdadam88

Don't worry female version of Harry Potter. I have your valentines day right here......down here.........(I'm pointing at my junk)

02/20/2009 12:32:00 AM

Imonarollagay

Those Aren't Muskets are awesome!

02/15/2009 10:52:00 AM

Aaron5858

complete epic fail... BORING AS SHIT!

02/14/2009 11:20:00 PM

nick5015

first 15 seconds had me in tears and the rest was funny too!!

02/12/2009 09:36:00 PM

Kills4Dethklok

BEST. BREAKUP. EVER!!!!!!

02/12/2009 06:31:00 PM

lemurs366`

When I saw the 17-second version about 5 minutes ago, I was wondering, "Where's Michael Swaim?" Now I know. I knew you couldn't make a video without him. But I wish to offer you the sacred deifications of my people for revealing to me that Valentine's Day can be shortened to VD. I had genuinely never noticed that before. But let us not speak of those dark times.

02/12/2009 05:08:00 PM

Pedgerow

Terrific! I can't wait to watch them again tomorrow, Friday the 13th.

02/12/2009 04:22:00 PM

davidw.osedach

Good old Cracked stuffs. Here are more funy stuffs, videos of stupid pet tricks! http://tv1.com/playlists/118

02/12/2009 03:14:00 PM

sky_slasher

that is one of the funniest things I've seen in my entire life.

02/12/2009 11:58:00 AM

joe_glow

You're brilliant.

02/12/2009 11:51:00 AM

Caden

that video was totally tits.

02/12/2009 07:49:00 AM

venser

Haha great episode. Also, the finishing line was perfect. Completely unexpected. I tip my hat to you, Swaim.

02/12/2009 06:33:00 AM

Konton-Kyoudai

Yeah good to see more TAM. getting fucking tired of Net_work.

02/11/2009 11:16:00 PM

spleeny

shingetterpopo: No! I was so hoping everyone would just let it go by. Our mic broke in the middle of filming without us realizing it. The stuff that sounds wonky is the result of totally broken audio getting worked over by our machines for several hours. It shan't happen again.

02/11/2009 11:04:00 PM

MichaelSwaim

Best. Breakup. Ever.

02/11/2009 09:58:00 PM

ragnarqk

What happened to the sound quality there? It kept flickering. I expect better from you swaim. yes, I lower cased it today, but that's more because I forgot to hit the shift key than any particular disdain.

02/11/2009 09:41:00 PM

shingetterpopo

Finally, video that doesn't suck. More TAM, less shit please.

02/11/2009 08:59:00 PM

Wallsy

Swaim! *leaps into your arms* I believe again! :-D P.

02/11/2009 08:35:00 PM

Pamcakes

Hey what the hell happend to my I like grapes comment?

02/11/2009 07:36:00 PM

pariahnola

Hey Swaim, is that a zit or a soul patch under your bottom lip? Your hair looks great though, ..... and.. uh... good video.

02/11/2009 07:25:00 PM

glendoor42

Is that a chocolate?

02/11/2009 07:14:00 PM

littlemiss_rk

The first 15 seconds was the perfect break up marketing campaign.

02/11/2009 07:12:00 PM

Bionic_Crouton

Brilliant... although I gotta say she deserves what she got for not having a deeper appreciation of Blur.

02/11/2009 07:00:00 PM

JStanshall

go back to your primary school history class hamsterjelly

02/11/2009 06:49:00 PM

Gaijin1862

She's hot you dick. Yay TAM!!

02/11/2009 06:35:00 PM

ice-grip

shadowblindx, you just think she's ugly because she has glasses. can't wait till the girl you reject gets contacts and becomes a model.

02/11/2009 06:22:00 PM

MLE05

Nooooo... Valentine's Day is based on Lupercalia, a Roman holiday where every teen would hook up and all husbands and wives would stop fighting for 2 weeks. The tradition carried on to Christian Rome when the emperor banned marriage so his troops would stop being homesick. St. Valentine would marry couples in secret and was punished for it. He became a saint because he cured a girl of blindness. The Valentine's Day card tradition started in the Middle Ages because husbands and wives would write love letters to each other on that day. From that, we get Valentine's cards.

02/11/2009 06:21:00 PM

hamsterjelly

Not funny.

02/11/2009 05:10:00 PM

Jorw

FUCK YOOOOOOUUUUUUUUUUUUUU Epic, just epic

02/11/2009 04:43:00 PM

pepo123

lol i woulda dumped her too SHE UUUUUUUUGGGGGGGGGGGGLLLLLLLLYYYYY

02/11/2009 04:14:00 PM

Shadowblindx

I have an asexual crush on Michael Swaim.

02/11/2009 04:09:00 PM

Natnie

Kinda disappointing, considering the intro made my literally piss my pants.

02/11/2009 04:02:00 PM

Nathan_lol

Now I want to eat Christian Martyrdom chocolates.

02/11/2009 03:58:00 PM

TheRandomOne

You just have to piss on everything don't you.

02/11/2009 03:52:00 PM

LilaMae217

FUCK YOOOOOOOOU! Epic.

02/11/2009 03:04:00 PM

bigmike53916

Asbestos...that was fucking great

02/11/2009 02:25:00 PM

lordastral

Loved it :D

02/11/2009 02:02:00 PM

Mynners

I love TAM. More specifically....I love you Michael Swaim. Let's totally make futuristic anti-love robot babies that will use the LHC to destroy the world. ;)

02/11/2009 01:25:00 PM

maudlindoll

It makes me want to have Swaim's babies even more...

02/11/2009 01:19:00 PM

DorkButton

TAM is the reason i wake up in the morning

02/11/2009 01:14:00 PM

ouchlolz

Please make babies and have them make babies so I never have to go a day without TAM episodes. I also highly encourage you to wipe your collective ass' all over net_work because you wtfpwnbbqsauce them. Thank you.

02/11/2009 11:41:00 AM

eyelok

fuck youuuuuuuuuuuuuuu

02/11/2009 11:38:00 AM

gamerelite1

Am I the only one that thinks that TAM should crop the first 13 seconds of this and market it as a video greeting card?

02/11/2009 11:27:00 AM

Grayson

That beginning scene would a perfect example for a cracked article on how to break up with your girlfriend on valentines.

02/11/2009 11:20:00 AM

deaved_wrath

Swaim always gets nice chicks in his vids. All with a tina Fey thing going on. Ooooooo I would Fuck her!

02/11/2009 11:11:00 AM

TripMaverick

@Gladstone - Careful there, you're gonna encourage the GladSwaim shippers! Not that I would know anything about this...

02/11/2009 11:10:00 AM

luckylostie

Nice - the beginning was the best part.

02/11/2009 10:50:00 AM

MichaelFurlong

The "flip the box / double middle finger" part was perfectly choreographed.

02/11/2009 10:21:00 AM

django

@luckylostie: There was no Freudian slip in my comment. I just meant that swaim and I used to have sex a lot.

02/11/2009 10:19:00 AM

G-Stone

... St Valentine was totally not Franciscan. You couldn't find a toga? Also: shouldn't he be speaking with an Italian accent?

02/11/2009 09:51:00 AM

lominang

I just saw that Swaim and Epperson got their start on the MQ. no wonder list-based comedy comes so easily to Swaim. for you guys, all i have to say is, fuck the koala!

02/11/2009 09:50:00 AM

dystopic

Remember that movie Millenium with Chris Christopherson? That movie had time travel.

02/11/2009 09:50:00 AM

enuts

Nice! Just what I was thinking. No one gives a shit about the real dude anymore, just a commercial holiday. With the time travel stuff, I was thinking terminator cause of his jacket.

02/11/2009 09:46:00 AM

Enabsflow

Awesome video.

02/11/2009 09:43:00 AM

dystopic

So awesome. 'Mom' looked more like 'roommate' then anything else

02/11/2009 09:21:00 AM

Haedrian

Awesome video. I laughed out loud several times. Man, I love TAM.

02/11/2009 09:15:00 AM

GenericHuman

Could have been better, but still holds true to the magic of TAM.

02/11/2009 09:10:00 AM

youllforgetit

haha, good stuff. I love hearing Riker at the end of these videos. lol. "Those aren't Muskits!" Makes me happy.

02/11/2009 08:57:00 AM

EchoSider

That chick is a terrible actor and a real butterface. I've got just the role for her.

02/11/2009 08:41:00 AM

RPG

@Amirite? The guy who played 4chan in Internet Party 2 is in this video as well. You SO fail at being a TAM! fan.

02/11/2009 08:40:00 AM

Tartra

How do I go about getting the phone number of the girls? Man I'd fuck them.

02/11/2009 08:36:00 AM

DraconianKing

"A time when we made out dreams come true..." Made out? Freudian slip, Gladstone? This video was awesome. I love the bored zipper-pulling. I do that too when ghosts come to visit. Great acting from everyone, especially Swaim in his little saint robes. Adorable.

02/11/2009 08:19:00 AM

luckylostie

I agree, the break up scene was the best. The rest was still pretty good too.

02/11/2009 07:40:00 AM

DapperDaveIa

that was great, i wanna break up with someone like that. and the mom was hotter thhan the daughter talk about some MILF hunting. you guys are great

02/11/2009 07:23:00 AM

crank916

Haha, delightful. That breakup scene had me grinning like an idiot.

02/11/2009 07:22:00 AM

Im_a_Vandal

that was funny damnit

02/11/2009 07:19:00 AM

zyryx

yum asbestos!

02/11/2009 07:19:00 AM

katie6098

Hilarious! You might want to try a little aging makeup on the mom, though. She looks like she must have gotten knocked up at 6 months.

02/11/2009 07:08:00 AM

jrockey

Not bad. The special effects are getting to be top notch. Is that where the stimulus is going?

02/11/2009 06:38:00 AM

Onodera

Weirder than it was funny. That breakup scene was pretty great, though.

02/11/2009 05:43:00 AM

AtxAxLoss

Best breakup scene EVER!! XDDD

02/11/2009 05:40:00 AM

TeninaT

What has 4chan got to do with anything?!

02/11/2009 05:31:00 AM

Amirite?

that breakup scene is one of the best ever, ever. this valentine's day story isn't nearly as nice as the ones i heard in elementary school.

02/11/2009 05:30:00 AM

constantflux

views: 00 Comments: 9 Yeh that makes sense... Awesome video though

02/11/2009 05:27:00 AM

Captain_Anon

hahaha, great video as always.

02/11/2009 05:25:00 AM

Gamble

I certainly laughed out loud.

02/11/2009 05:24:00 AM

FearTheHobbits

This was absolutely great--I like it even more than the other V.D. video.

02/11/2009 05:11:00 AM

12pack

I love 4chan man! :D:D:D

02/11/2009 04:47:00 AM

Tartra

Nice. Y'know, I remember a time when you told me you'd never write a Valentine's day skit without me. Of course, that was in 2008. It was a different time. A time when we didn't need special effects and a convincing set to deliver comedy. A time when we made out dreams come true with some hard work and some elbow macaroni for the clitoris. ...and, oh, asbestos ftw.

02/11/2009 04:44:00 AM

G-Stone

This really cheered me up! I'm trying to quit smoking at the moment and I've been feeling like crap - got the sweats real bad - but now I feel a lot better. HOORAY!

02/11/2009 04:41:00 AM