Look Into My Eyes While I Masturbate (A Music Video)

This song has been stuck in my head, i've found myself singing it quietly to myself at work without knowing......makes for some awkward moments

04/28/2009 07:40:00 AM

G_MON

This song needs to be extended...its so awesomely great.

03/28/2009 10:13:00 AM

Nightpath

1 of my new favorite songs.

03/26/2009 07:42:00 PM

Nightpath

This is amazing XD

03/15/2009 09:07:00 PM

Projectnewt

I've watched this about 7 times now. Ringtone FTW, this is insanely catchy :P

02/22/2009 12:05:00 AM

Wren

You need to make this a ringtone. Seriously.

02/19/2009 09:48:00 PM

CoPRed

HAAAAAHAAA omg thumbs the fuck UP i absolutely died. sigh. thanks cracked.

02/18/2009 02:03:00 PM

clicchick

Have you guys ever heard of a millionaire dating site called ^^^^^^^^millionaireloves.com^^^^^^^^? My friend suggestted me to find a pretty girl there because they have seen some really great girls there. Just wondering if all the girls there are looking for money rather than true love.

02/15/2009 02:03:00 AM

LisaMarie001

And confidentially, it's far better than making an idiotic one-line comment. Never said I thought it wasn't funny, just pointed out what elements it was parodying. Sheesh, sorry it hurt your brain, as well as the anvil. Forget some people's attention spans are about 2 minutes long.

02/14/2009 05:06:00 PM

Fangarius

drops anvil on certain someone who believes they think too much. That'll give THEM something to think about...

02/14/2009 05:02:00 PM

Fangarius

hhaaa!!! poor dog! good video, funny!

02/13/2009 05:59:00 PM

Mrs.Lovett

People think too much. I think This video is funny plain and simple, if you don't think so don't type some long explanation as to why you don't. Like I need to be told what's funny and not. Go read White Ninja and die, or look into my eyes whie I masturbate.

02/13/2009 05:31:00 PM

Benpott

"I can't believe its 2010!" That's when I cracked up. Badass, guys!

02/12/2009 12:00:00 PM

gmale9000

Here's the funny thing, Baker's attempting to combine several parodies at once with this video, and it sort of loses something in the translation. Basically here's what he's parodying if you figure it out: 1) Technopop Lust: Sometime in the late-80's/early-90s, seemed songwriters got really lazy and just played techno dance with one disturbing lyric. Oddly enough, one I recall which was popular was called (believe it or not) 'Jack Me Till I Scream.' Had a woman utter the line, followed by a robot voice acting as if it was a command. Which pretty much summed up the song itself. 2) YouTube Adult Hypnotic Videos: Not sure where this came from, but the latest disturbing trend are these so-called hypnotic videos with adult images. Apparently if you stare at them, you fall under the spell and.. well, makes you wonder where Baker got the idea for the title to his tune. Though I don't see why these things are popular with the YouTube crowd. 3) The Hysterical Futuristic Reference:

02/12/2009 11:20:00 AM

Fangarius

funny vid..good work.seems i have watched it on a tall celeb site---Tallmingle.com--- which is a hot site for all tall friends and tall singles. you can hook up with hot models or hansome guys there.

02/12/2009 09:30:00 AM

jacklove

I created this account just to post this: I actually thought this video was pretty cool! XD It's also kinda disturbing and odd, but what the fuck do you go to cracked.com for if not to search for comedic oddities? :P

02/11/2009 08:03:00 PM

IsThisFrank?

this was pretty bad...gah!

02/11/2009 06:55:00 PM

suckmybuttons

Musically, it was great, but it was about as funny as giving birth to a rhino made of razors and rust. You guys should make serious music. Because your non-serious music is not funny.

02/10/2009 03:56:00 PM

Pedgerow

Get a haircut, Wallsy.

02/10/2009 09:29:00 AM

Elbereth

First guy was funny, second guy gave a sad performance

02/10/2009 06:42:00 AM

deaved_wrath

It didn't even make me crack a smile, but I liked it. It was entertaining; the sort of weird entertainment that makes you cringe, but you find yourself humming it later. /approve

02/09/2009 08:41:00 PM

Wren

That was awesomely funny and ridiculous,

02/09/2009 06:56:00 PM

uberschnepp

C'mon Jd24, admit it...you're really Bart Baker aren't you? and you're just really sad that we hate your video, aren't you? Sadly Bart, looking into your eyes while you masturbate sounds like more fun than this video could ever be.

02/09/2009 06:26:00 PM

zinkster

If it had been a love song? What?? this video is all over the internet, obviously people like it, believe it or not most of the people on youtube and other sites like it are teenagers and this is the perfect genre to get attention on those sites. Obviously its successful in that manner. I also make videos (as a hobby) and It pisses me off when people criticize a video like this...like JJMMT who the fuck are you to judge anyone and blackdrops as I said earlier you suggested that this would have been better as a love song....OK, you would never succeed in the field of production with a stupid comment like that so you need to shut up. The production value in this video is awesome if you can't see that you are blind or maybe just retarded. Enough said

02/09/2009 01:15:00 PM

Jd24

Just ban Bart Baker... seriously.

02/09/2009 12:43:00 PM

jjmmtt

It had the potential to be good but the execution was poor. If it had been a love song then it may have been more funny. How it was made just sucked all the funny out of an idea that didn't have much in the first place. I wish I had read the comments first so that I didn't waste my time.

02/09/2009 11:10:00 AM

blackops

http://www.cracked.com/craptions/craption/1126?show_all=true&id=275361#craption275361 "Look into my eyes while I masterbate" is perfect for today's caption contest.

02/09/2009 10:18:00 AM

Quankers

Gayest video ever.

02/09/2009 10:10:00 AM

Ruta9

I actually thought this was okay. I didn't laugh, but it held my interest and was decently weird.

02/09/2009 09:52:00 AM

luckylostie

I think it's a really funny idea. Unfortunately, the producers spent the time and money making an entire video because of one premise, and failed to build that into anything more. Good idea, poor execution.

02/09/2009 08:55:00 AM

RPG

shitty. really truly shitty.

02/09/2009 07:07:00 AM

fritz316

Nope, sorry Foot, I thought it was like Jizz in my pants to, which, coincidently is my ringtone :) I gotta say, I didn't like it, although it is a little amusing, the "my parents walked in on me once" line was funny...ish

02/09/2009 12:14:00 AM

DCFGS3

Hey guys, here's a tip for you: Just using words like "masturbate" doesn't actually make you funny. Except in primary school, I guess. Was this written by someone under the age of 12? If so, I guess it's understandable, I just don't know why anyone thought it was worth showing to the world.

02/09/2009 12:06:00 AM

Wallsy

Why boxers shouldn't kick their opponent (OUCH): http://www.tokillfor.com/view_video.php?viewkey=250f5eefa438174941e8&page=3&viewtype=&category=mr

02/08/2009 09:50:00 PM

dalekiloveyou

I haven't yet looked at any of their other work, but this video is probably the least funny thing on Cracked.

02/08/2009 09:38:00 PM

bigmike53916

This is a pretty messed up video. A little funny i have to admit.

02/08/2009 09:09:00 PM

PillsburyLemur

Freggin Brilliant. Odd but hilarious.

02/08/2009 08:46:00 PM

Frankenstud

The worst part about this video is that it is by far their best one.

02/08/2009 08:19:00 PM

GenericHuman

For some reason, the more times I watch this, the better it gets. I think it's the faces they make; Pretty much any single screen in the video looks capture-worthy in and of itself.

02/08/2009 07:36:00 PM

Negative_Creep

NO

02/08/2009 07:14:00 PM

robotlove

I guess I will have to say this again for Lizzaly. This video is in outter space for gods sake...there is a f****n dog in it with tin foil on its head for fux sake! Don't comment if you don't know what you are talking about. People who compare videos piss me off because you can relate any video to another if your narrow minded enough

02/08/2009 05:57:00 PM

Foot

Amazingly well made video...great production.

02/08/2009 05:54:00 PM

HotDanny

This looks like you were trying to cash on the fame of 'I jizzed in my pants' which was really funny. You guys can't pull off that humor.

02/08/2009 05:44:00 PM

Lizzaly

Your eyes turn bright green when you masturbate? Cool.

02/08/2009 05:04:00 PM

Firecrotch

bapp you are stupid as hell....the whole point of the video is obviously to have a stupid concept. That's why its funny, because its so well made but so stupid. An insult to cracked? What the hell? You are in insult to the cracked community, get off your high horse. As for Misanthrope who appears to be another uninformed narrow minded idiot...its lonely island not lonely planet AND it is not similar to their shit at all. This video is in outter space for gods sake...there is a fuckin dog in it with tin foil on its head for fux sake! Don't comment if you don't know what you are talking about.

02/08/2009 05:00:00 PM

Foot

I sure you guys spent days sorting out the filming of this, but seriously you should have spent more than ten minutes on the concept behind it. Nothing clever about this at all, it a bit of an insult to cracked.

02/08/2009 04:02:00 PM

bapp

This just seems like a shameless Lonely Planet ripoff... and Lonely Planet isn't even that good.

02/08/2009 03:33:00 PM

Misanthrope

that was just aweful don't ever, EVER do that again!

02/08/2009 03:01:00 PM

popeth

That was pretty funny, but it would have been a lot funnier had they used something a little less corny than masturbation. It's getting to the point now where the word masturbation is about as funny as the word fart. I.E. Not at all.

02/08/2009 01:55:00 PM

Zerocyde

That was just kinda stupid =(

02/08/2009 01:41:00 PM

jabber

This is so messed up. Tripping on acid messed up

02/08/2009 01:28:00 PM

Haedrian

I must admit, as stupid as that was, I laughed at "My mom and dad walked in on me once." followed by the obligatory thumbs up.

02/08/2009 01:22:00 PM

acidballroom

I liked it

02/08/2009 12:57:00 PM

gamerelite1

Okay, I'm like, WTF? Then when I watched it, the only funny thing was the title itself. Man....should've it wasn't gonna be that funny.

02/08/2009 12:40:00 PM

Anti-hero

I'm sure that all the 13-year-olds on the Internet will find this hilarious.

02/08/2009 12:30:00 PM

Embee90

I thought that was utter rubbish, and I didn't even watch it.

02/08/2009 12:15:00 PM

Swaimfan

Way to be topical cracked, this video is what, two weeks old? Get with the times. =P

02/08/2009 12:09:00 PM

anderfreak

Ok, I can kinda see the Space Olympics thing, but I was expecting something totally different. If this was just a video of some guy staring at his webcam while he masturbated, I would forward it to everyone I know. But you disappointed me. And it's pathetic, guys. But not as pathetic as my fucking blog. tasteyourmaker.blogspot.com

02/08/2009 12:01:00 PM

thestr

Not once did either of them masturbate.

02/08/2009 11:29:00 AM

splainintodo

Oh! Hmm, both the "Space Olympics" and this video are set in space and are music videos! Well, this video must be a rip off I guess! Why does it have to be when two videos have some similarities that one HAS TO be a rip off of the other?

02/08/2009 11:04:00 AM

BeanBurrito

"hm, only eight digg's... it can't be THAT bad..." ... holyshitsholyshitHOLYSHITHOLYSHITHOLYFUCKINGSHIT AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i'm severely disappointed.

02/08/2009 10:46:00 AM

SlimeQ

I think this video is a subtle parody of the direction modern pop music videos are moving. Filled with self-engrandizing adolescent boys with fixed and styled hair singing about their own lives and dreams while the camera films them and only them. Put it on a background of pseudo-artistic nuevo fantasm, and all you have is mental and artistic masturbation. In essence, this video satirizes the shallow state of the modern music industry. Either that or it's a collage of puerile gay dick jokes.

02/08/2009 10:06:00 AM

Cuindless

Thanks Cracked! Now I have a new ringtone for my cellphone!

02/08/2009 10:04:00 AM

Bionic_Crouton

Total crap. The most unintelligent humor I have ever heard.

02/08/2009 09:58:00 AM

Obtusetriangle

This is a very lame rip off of "Space Olympics" as seen on SNL.

02/08/2009 09:58:00 AM

Pierogyjim

I don't like it [period]

02/08/2009 09:50:00 AM

SimoHäyhä

I can't decide whether or not i'm more amused or disturbed...

02/08/2009 08:33:00 AM

that_girl

I tell people this all the time and all i get is maced! just how is that fair?

02/08/2009 08:23:00 AM

Jovian84

I suppose if all women were destroyed that is what would happen to humanity. The nerdy part anyway.

02/08/2009 08:00:00 AM

Gabriel_Kalaia

I'm just wondering how one keyboard can be larger than the other O.o

02/08/2009 07:57:00 AM

deaved_wrath

the first time I watched this video I found it kind of weird, disgusting... ... the second time I was even more irritated ... ... now I'm watching it for the third time and I'm wondering why, I guess I like it after all... :)

02/08/2009 07:46:00 AM

raskolnikow

It reminds me of Andy Samburg's Space Olympics video, but not as good.

02/08/2009 07:36:00 AM

Supermutant

no thanks

02/08/2009 07:16:00 AM

Pistil

*Sigh*... Someone tell them we're masturbating right now... Well, *I* am anyway...

02/08/2009 06:35:00 AM

The_Diceman

............

02/08/2009 05:55:00 AM

Madchester

I haven't seen faggotry so pure since "What What in the Butt"

02/08/2009 05:49:00 AM

Norlak

Just no.

02/08/2009 05:26:00 AM

jjmmtt

completely retarded. and not in a good way

02/08/2009 05:06:00 AM

janos

Worse than Net_Work and White Ninja combined.

02/08/2009 05:05:00 AM

Postpwned

The future is here and it is funny. Nice video.

02/08/2009 05:00:00 AM

Technohawk

fail

02/08/2009 04:56:00 AM

Archaon6044

fucking stupid

02/08/2009 04:44:00 AM

domesticschwill

Fucking thetans.

02/08/2009 04:30:00 AM

Grezz

I'm freaking out.

02/08/2009 04:24:00 AM

BornToPolka

Seriously, what gave them this idea?

02/08/2009 04:16:00 AM

Pyramus

I am upset by that.

02/08/2009 04:02:00 AM

Laurara

? Erm, okay.

02/08/2009 03:25:00 AM

MichaelFurlong

Did I really just see a video about silvery masturbators and a pissed off space dog, or did the 'shrooms finally kick in?

02/08/2009 03:02:00 AM

Dierdre

This was so dissapointing that it's hard to believe I was in a good mood before watching this. I understand different people find different things funny and usually I bear with whatever I don't like but this is worse than anything else I can imagine.

02/08/2009 02:50:00 AM

jsupnigga

There was this one part where I almost laughed.

02/08/2009 02:18:00 AM

AtxAxLoss

fapfapfapfap 0_0 fapfapfapfap

02/08/2009 01:46:00 AM

superhombre

This contained a disappointing amount of masturbation.

02/08/2009 01:39:00 AM

gormster

Lol that was pretty good. First?

02/08/2009 01:23:00 AM

iam2000pounds