The Brady Bunch Was a True Story (Or CNN Has Hit a New Low)

That's Hate By Numbers according to Jungiebumper... That's all. Forever. Loved this one, Gladstone. "FEED YOUR HEAD!!"

08/01/2009 10:48:00 AM

Oh...oh god

07/10/2009 02:36:00 PM

Bellegrio

Host: I gotta say, of all of the people who would be making drug, sex and abortion confessions... Gstone: Dear god! The woman confessed to having sex? BURN HER! Host: Cocaine, abortion, eating disorders, rehab! Gstone: Is the woman insane? Why would she decide to go into rehab after a drug addiction? When did it get this far Marcia?!?

06/04/2009 11:06:00 AM

Jungiebumper

OH GOD! The Jefferson Airplane "White Rabbit" music in the background made me laugh so hard I almost crapped myself!

04/30/2009 12:29:00 PM

Tamborine.Sam

This. Is gold.

11/17/2008 10:25:00 PM

YackitySmackity

I liked this one lots.

11/02/2008 10:21:00 AM

littleoutrage

only 4 left? and to think i didn't believe in a higher power

11/01/2008 04:28:00 PM

LestertheMo

Chillax GStone. Take a blue pill..

11/01/2008 03:14:00 AM

josie

you can just SEE the internet rumors starting. Captain, people were just joking that me being in jail would explain my upcoming extended indefinite sabbatical from Cracked.com

10/31/2008 05:15:00 PM

G-Stone

So but what the hell is all this about Gladstone being in jail? and only 4 more episodes? what next, a Swaim/O'Brien suicide pact? oh the pain of it all!

10/31/2008 01:30:00 PM

CaptainTom

Sorry GStone..the idea you may have to do hard time is funny. There's a reason..

10/30/2008 02:06:00 AM

josie

hate by numbers has never made me laugh. ever.

10/29/2008 10:08:00 PM

flatsquirrel

by "4 episodes left" do you mean: 1. "Only four episodes till popular acclaim makes us bring it back?" Or, 2. Sorry, but Gladstones in jail and he only pre-recorded 4 more episodes"

10/29/2008 09:42:00 PM

CyberenticAngel

Good fucking christ, I cannot tell if people are serious about wanting to know what that goddamned song is anymore.

10/29/2008 08:13:00 PM

Andrewski

Best Hate By Numbers yet.

10/29/2008 06:10:00 PM

Jarrod

You know, I found song in like, 5 seconds. Google "youre the night little girl lost in the woods", song name came up. Yet people seem to find it quicker to post a comment and wait. What strange people post on these comment boards.

10/29/2008 04:45:00 PM

DicksMcErson

Skipmuntz, aside from google, just look two postings below you.

10/29/2008 01:01:00 PM

G-Stone

Never mind, I forgot about that whole "google" thing. Turns out to be Morphine - The Night for those who are curious

10/29/2008 11:06:00 AM

Skipmuntz

I know but this has probably been asked and answered a hundred times in the threads, but I haven't seen it anywhere so ... does anybody know off the top of their heads what the ending music is?

10/29/2008 11:01:00 AM

Skipmuntz

Is it wrong that I would kind of like to own that book? Four episodes? Don't leave us Gladstone!

10/29/2008 09:29:00 AM

gallowglass

the song is the night by morphine

10/29/2008 05:20:00 AM

archie108

I love how everyone starts loving your show JUST when you say you're going to end it. You knew that was going to happen, didn't you Gladstone? You sly dog... ... Okay, seriously. This is just some crazy rumour, right?

10/28/2008 08:35:00 PM

Tartra

awesome vid. although, i want to know the song at the end. anyone know?

10/28/2008 07:34:00 PM

Poncho

amazing.. one more reason for me to be really glad i don't have tv; i don't have to watch crap like that "report" on CNN! haha. those newscasters do a really good job of appearing to not know the difference between the character and the actress. let's hope that they, too, were acting that....

10/28/2008 07:18:00 PM

bibliophilica

4 this one i saw those jokes coming a mile away i sat stonefaced at this cept for the dakota fanning part

10/28/2008 06:55:00 PM

silvadream

If we all clap, then Tinkerbell won't die, right?

10/28/2008 06:05:00 PM

Andrewski

I just read some guy's comment about eight posts ago which was about the possibility of HBN going away, and I agree with his exaggerated no.

10/28/2008 06:04:00 PM

Andrewski

You can't go wrong with "White Rabbit."

10/28/2008 05:57:00 PM

Samehada

when do you see this amazing cnn? it usually sucks. well always. i want to watch your cnn.

10/28/2008 04:56:00 PM

tentman52

"Who's Nailin Paylin? Adventures of a Hockey MILF" trailer available on www.TOKILLFOR.com!

10/28/2008 04:35:00 PM

fake_spambot

I've said it before and I'll say it again: Fuck CNN.

10/28/2008 03:56:00 PM

SickBoy

You know just when Gladstone was starting to get somewhat funny he decides to pull the plug.

10/28/2008 01:40:00 PM

TheAntiAssClown

four more episodes!?! wtf is that shit!!!!!!! horse crap i demand more HBN!!!!

10/28/2008 12:53:00 PM

Fake

Ok, just because HBN isn't that great doesn't mean you need to stop... I'll agree, I was one of those ones who hated HBN, but now I'm coming around. This week was even better than last week.

10/28/2008 12:11:00 PM

GoogleMan

Thumbs up for your zinger. I would totally buy that photoshopped book.

10/28/2008 12:06:00 PM

lizimajig

WHAT!?!?! FUR EPISODES!?!?! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO i love hbn please dont stop please please please this is like the highlite of cracked.com for me.

10/28/2008 12:02:00 PM

happy_chair

Fun fact: The Marsha, Marsha, Marsha line was only said once on the show. I heard that from... somewhere... WHOAWHOAWHOAWHOA!! I just read some guy's comments. Gladstone, what the HELL do you mean HBN's ending?!

10/28/2008 07:17:00 AM

Tartra

It's fun to watch. This whole Gladstone thing is last week's news. Why, if such fans, didn't you comment on it then?

10/28/2008 02:39:00 AM

josie

Bafflement By Numbers Episode 2! Fantastic! It was great.

10/28/2008 02:23:00 AM

ArthurSpeakman

So there was an ad directed at Single Golfers, but I read it as Singing golfer.

10/28/2008 02:20:00 AM

ArthurSpeakman

WTF??? Gladstone is finishing up HBN??? First Lex, now THIS???!!

10/28/2008 02:15:00 AM

lux

Dude..I so don't understand a word you wrote. Did you maybe have one too many bong hits? Who is drinking soda? It's cool, though. Er, rock on.

10/28/2008 01:20:00 AM

josie

At first it seems like they understand the difference between characters and actors but then...it's like they're old people who've completly lost touch with reality and keep wondering why the woman who lives next door is not constantly drinking soda, like she does in her ad.

10/27/2008 11:31:00 PM

CamboD

So what is Wayne Gladstone doing after Hate By numbers is gone...

10/27/2008 11:24:00 PM

jamasian_man

Oh Gladstone. You have slain me again. Can I lick you?

10/27/2008 11:24:00 PM

a_penis

I have also enjoyed HBN. I will be extra sad to see it go. What will you do next, Mr. Gladstone, Sir?

10/27/2008 10:27:00 PM

Kieran

hes probably getting bumped for more white ninja.

10/27/2008 10:25:00 PM

bunni

I agree with Swaim that was definately the best one EV4R! Oh, how i will miss you so Gladstone. Ill still be your facebook friend. 4EV4R! Awesome work Gladstone!

10/27/2008 08:24:00 PM

ice-grip

Dude! Keep HBN running! Don't let it fall into the black hole that the 'News on Cracked' already did. First you take that away from me, and now HBN??? NOOOOO!!!!!!!!!

10/27/2008 08:17:00 PM

mike.bishop

NO YOU CANT END HBN. HBN is the shit!

10/27/2008 07:32:00 PM

Hei

Aww weak dude don't leave us, I love HBN. :(

10/27/2008 06:46:00 PM

compl3x

I keep Watching and Watching, searching for some hidden meaning, but there is none. Please, don't stop the Hate! ! ! ! Ill send sam the butcher over to make sure there are no Gladstone progeny! What, you wanna spend more time at Gritty McDuff's? Brian Boru's? Cadalac Jacks? Say you ain't leavin' Gladstone! ! !

10/27/2008 06:44:00 PM

Jmx70inNJ

Are you all the same collective douchebags that have been ragging on HBN since Lex went to "pursue other career opportunities"? Well played, Mr. G, best HBN yet.

10/27/2008 06:43:00 PM

Saul Goode

You're not getting diggs because no one likes your show. I thought that was pretty obvious.

10/27/2008 06:43:00 PM

Renzokuken

Sorry to hear your stopping this series, I've enjoyed it. Good material here.

10/27/2008 06:17:00 PM

Ydoc

It's been a while since I watched the Brady bunch, but weren't the brothers not supposed to be blood-related to the sisters, even on the show? I guess step-incest is still pretty high on the "gross-o-meter" though.

10/27/2008 05:56:00 PM

iraleecantellia

I love this program. It was on par with the Week In Douchebaggery. What's next for Cracked?

10/27/2008 05:48:00 PM

jakama

I HATE YOU GLADSTONE FOR LEAVING ME LIKE THIS!!!! I THOUGH WE HAD SOMETHING SPECIAL!!!

10/27/2008 05:47:00 PM

darknessdragon

I don't care what all the people who hate this say, I'm going to miss HBN when it's done.

10/27/2008 05:29:00 PM

Ganon

I think this video pretty much explains my feelings abou4 you leaving, Gladstone. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ECHm8x9OyLo&feature=related

10/27/2008 05:04:00 PM

bouchedaggery

CNN sucks balls. It's getting worse than Fox News.

10/27/2008 05:02:00 PM

AlekB

Hey, I'm sorry guys. But maybe if you all made sure to DIGG, I'd change my mind! Probably not, but please?

10/27/2008 04:56:00 PM

G-Stone

check out the 'Who's Nailin' Paylin - Adventures of a Hockey MILF' Trailer @ www.TOKILLFOR.com

10/27/2008 04:55:00 PM

fake_spambot

Gladstone!!! Only four more episodes? WHY MUST YOU WOUND ME?!?!?! *sob* Anyways, that Sam the Butcher line was hilarious... DAMN YOU Gladstone, don't leave us out in the cold!!! nooo :(

10/27/2008 04:48:00 PM

Plaidrabbit

No! Not my HBN! Damn... one of my favorite parts of the webiste... I'm gonna go protest something...

10/27/2008 04:45:00 PM

shaqmandu

Gladstone, are you really leaving us... Why. Don't you see how much we all love your stuff????

10/27/2008 04:34:00 PM

minivanmonkey

I apologize to all. I am an ass who is no longer confused, hurt nor betrayed.

10/27/2008 03:53:00 PM

ominousoat

I gotta say, G-stone, if you're trying to save HBN, this was a good way to do it. I want to hear Jackaroni Grill tell me that Sam the Butcher line wasn't the funniest thing on cracked in the last week.

10/27/2008 03:50:00 PM

Adam44

You got the promised shout out on the blog.

10/27/2008 03:43:00 PM

G-Stone

4 episodes?!?! NOOO Then all that will be left will be white ninja. and that fucking sucks

10/27/2008 03:23:00 PM

AnderX

I was supposed to get a shoutout from Gladstone. I am confused, hurt and betrayed.

10/27/2008 03:23:00 PM

ominousoat

That was damned funny.

10/27/2008 03:10:00 PM

HumDrum

Hey listen Gladstone, just admit that you're staying here forever and we can end this madness on get on with our lives.

10/27/2008 03:08:00 PM

MarcAbian

What really gets me is people are actually surprised that a former child star ended up abusing drugs and sex. Isn't that standard procedure?

10/27/2008 03:03:00 PM

Spitz512

Bring back LEX freedman.

10/27/2008 02:59:00 PM

aimal

Good one. But, seriously, why are you calling it off after four more? This is just like what you did with the Boiler Room News. You get people to start following, then you strike out toward the sunset with a "Heigh-o, Silver!", leaving behind nothing but a silver bullet and mild discomfort during urination. Damn you, Gladstone!

10/27/2008 02:55:00 PM

JohnTCapp

Why G Stones? Why? Who has to die for you to stay? Is it (Jumpin) Jack (Flash)? Is that son of a bitch not supporting you? God damn you jack-in-a-box, oh how I hate you. Let me count the ways...oh wait I can't because you've turned a cold shoulder to G Stones and HBN. For you Jackhole, there is a special place in hell. Jackoff!!!!

10/27/2008 02:46:00 PM

tshp

What the hell, Gladstone. What the hell. I trusted you. Why are you leaving us?

10/27/2008 02:24:00 PM

Jorw

Great episode. You continue to show me how stupid people can really be. It's inspiring actually. You shall be sorely missed, Gladstone.

10/27/2008 02:22:00 PM

trgdr777

I am truly disheartened. I'm one of the 12 people that actually supported HBN. You will be missed, Gladstone. Fuck You, Cracked

10/27/2008 02:14:00 PM

dar00ts90

Cracked has not asked me to go. I'm going soley because Eamon hurt my feelings so very much. :(

10/27/2008 02:00:00 PM

G-Stone

Fuck you, Cracked.com. You take my Week in Douchebaggery, you take my Hate by the Numbers. What the fuck is next, no more articles or forums? Screw this.

10/27/2008 01:47:00 PM

Firecrotch

Ya know, I'm normally hyper-critical, and I'll stay that way, but... only four mroe episodes? My heart skipped a beat! 1-800-HBN-SUCKS? Yes. It certainly does. Bring back Lex, or at LEAST fix it so the old Week in Douchebaggery videos work -_-

10/27/2008 01:36:00 PM

EamonQuinn

First Lex Friedman gets canceled, now this. What are you guys doing, making room on the site for a White Ninja movie?

10/27/2008 01:31:00 PM

Gnarwhal

Only 4 episodes left, only 4 episodes left untill what?? Also great HbN, best in weeks.

10/27/2008 01:29:00 PM

Rutledal

Triple awesome, and White Rabbit FTW You also get points for being one of the most eminent Prime Ministers in British history.

10/27/2008 12:36:00 PM

deeperwell42

can we get a reason why HBN is leaving?

10/27/2008 11:46:00 AM

AW_Smith

Gladstone. i would so buy that book.

10/27/2008 11:31:00 AM

reece

Did you get a haircut?

10/27/2008 11:17:00 AM

josie

B-but... HBN is my beacon of light in a world of darkness!! You can't take it away from me!

10/27/2008 11:17:00 AM

Rebear

At what point did CNN become FOX news?

10/27/2008 11:15:00 AM

Spindle_

No Danny Bonaduce in the book? Why only 4 episodes left? dont leave, Gladstone!

10/27/2008 11:15:00 AM

Jmx70inNJ

why is HBN ending???

10/27/2008 10:59:00 AM

FreemDeem

...not that I think YOU'RE a douchbag Gladstone!

10/27/2008 10:41:00 AM

tank

What's "free bracing"? That black chick is stupid. Also, NONE of this is news to anyone. Showbiz Tonight is retarded and only douchebags like my ex boyfriend watch it.

10/27/2008 10:39:00 AM

tank

You can't leave! How will I know what to hate and how many things to hate without you?!

10/27/2008 10:17:00 AM

Dosaan

it's sad you're leaving. You're my fave after DOB. Keep the last four funny!

10/27/2008 10:12:00 AM

watchthetomato

Ok, even if HBN is leaving,... YOU'RE still going to be around here, right Gladstone? Please?

10/27/2008 09:55:00 AM

ZenStorm

Wait, I forgot to join in with the others: Why is Hate by Numbers going away? That makes me cry (not really) a little. Far more watchable than Lex, I could even see it being good regular addition to The Daily Show (what with the reporting on shitty reporting going on). Gladstone, you magnificent bastard! What are you up to?

10/27/2008 09:52:00 AM

TheYellowDart

The name of the song is "The Night", by the band Morphine. This random person highly recommends all of their works.

10/27/2008 09:48:00 AM

TheYellowDart

BEST ONE EV4R!

10/27/2008 09:43:00 AM

MichaelSwaim

HBN back in top form.

10/27/2008 09:34:00 AM

Onodera

4 episodes left? Why? I mean, you are probably the best thing here. Other than DOB. Or craptions. Or the fonts. Or the white background. or the little dutch advertisements I get on the side ( why the hell do I get dutch advertisment?! ) But other than those you are the best. Seriously, why are you stopping HBN?

10/27/2008 09:27:00 AM

smnoamls

At least tell us the name of the song at the begining

10/27/2008 09:20:00 AM

kravorzlair

only four left wow i going to miss this show.

10/27/2008 09:13:00 AM

xolta

Oh Gladstone, I love you and will miss HBN every Monday, but I'm excited and happy for you too. Get out there, use your talent, and enjoy yourself.

10/27/2008 09:06:00 AM

ZiggyTheZ

DONT LEAVE!! I'M GOING TO GLUE YOU TO THE GREEN SCREEN THAT SHOWS THE GAY BAR SO YOU CAN NEVER LEAVE US.

10/27/2008 09:04:00 AM

Tobias

What do you mean by saying 4 episodes left ?? No way, your videos are kicking ass, I love your style of humor and I always have a big smile when you post a video on Cracked. YOU CAN'T LEAVE US

10/27/2008 08:55:00 AM

kravorzlair

Gladstone! NoOoooooOooOooooOOoO! You can't leave us, we need you and your numbered hate!

10/27/2008 08:51:00 AM

Spankubb

Why GLADSTONE, WHYYYY only 4 more left. Shit, you're a great feature on cracked, don't quit us man.

10/27/2008 08:45:00 AM

MoonMilk

I knew Dakota was chasing the dragon!

10/27/2008 08:43:00 AM

smalltimewaster

Why only 4 more?? Hate by numbers rules

10/27/2008 08:41:00 AM

FaustOfFuji

Maybe they just thought Barry Williams was gross? Have you heard the song he released?

10/27/2008 08:31:00 AM

starberry

Now is this four episodes left 'Brett Favre edition' or four episodes left 'Lex Friedman edition'?

10/27/2008 08:26:00 AM

Mrgator189

HBN can't stop, its the best feature on Cracked

10/27/2008 08:17:00 AM

koronis

I've seen this clip floating around before but the zinger adds a completely new level to the thing. Quite possibly the best yet

10/27/2008 08:12:00 AM

HomicidalOrange

Ummm let them Cancel Sarah Connor, that show never should have been made in the first place, that's what happens when you show a live abortion on television.

10/27/2008 08:05:00 AM

MacAttack

This was one of your best. As for the four episodes left...WHY!?!?!? I watch this show on the day it comes out...every time. Don't leave us Gladstone!

10/27/2008 07:59:00 AM

cutslasher

I coul totally see marcia doing drugs, but not cindy or jan. martia was the bad girl with a attitude.

10/27/2008 07:50:00 AM

CountBaqula

I'm still in denial about the 4 episodes left thing. Please stop reminding me. I'll cross that bridge when I get to it.

10/27/2008 07:35:00 AM

Green Peace

big thanks to Randall Maynard for the photoshops.

10/27/2008 07:35:00 AM

G-Stone

I liked this one for once :D

10/27/2008 07:34:00 AM

muppet1010

Once again: a winner. Be-au-ti-full!

10/27/2008 06:54:00 AM

Lord Cownostril

Only 4 episodes left? You must mean until the season finally, and then you will take off 6 months and come back will all new episodes& right? Look you have to understand; I have already lost New Amsterdam, Journeyman, hell their even talking about canceling Sarah Conner. Now this! How are we supposed to go on living? Come on man! Won t somebody please think of the children and for that matter the rest of us selfish bastards?

10/27/2008 06:30:00 AM