Elexploitation: 9 Shameless Ways People Milked the Election

What do I need to do to get it to play? Cracked videos never work for me for some reason.

10/29/2009 06:57:55 PM

warnerc2

Dear gosh...I clicked the wrong link Swaim... I thought this was: Elexploitation: 9 Shameless Ways People Milked the Erection. Thanks...Now I have to tell all my friends all over the internet that this isn't what I thought it would be. It's funny how our minds work; seemingly replacing R's with L's and vice versa... ...Right Japan?

09/01/2009 11:04:00 PM

Dodekum

Yes, mad props to the Troll 2 scream a the end. Oh, and the Ba-rock was great as well

08/17/2009 05:24:00 PM

MetalUpYerAss

RING POPS! Hahahaha, Swaim you're the greatest.

08/02/2009 08:50:00 PM

dart378

Where's the store? I wanted to buy 2 Ba-Rocks and get a free Mc-Cane.

05/16/2009 06:26:00 PM

Apomonomenos

Never stop michael, I LUV YOU!!!!

04/29/2009 05:49:00 PM

moogirl226

Ring Pops! That made me laugh so hard! So did the Mc Cain. Swaim is the best, as always.

04/22/2009 06:45:00 PM

Bluth

It took me a few moments to realize his increasing number of political pins.

04/17/2009 06:58:00 PM

travisanderson7

woahh there. Paul Simon is alive and well

03/23/2009 10:58:00 PM

geesegoose

lol two ba rocks and a mc cane

03/19/2009 02:47:00 PM

soda26

Paul Simon isn't dead. =( Don't make me sad for no reason.

02/18/2009 05:16:00 PM

meijiatron

infinite diggs

02/16/2009 05:02:00 AM

G1drake

What a laugh! Great stuff! I tried to send this missive by my beloved McCaw Jaws, but he only got as far as the Magnolia outside my window. Damned if I'm gonna get him down. Nope, he's up the shit tree now. Crude though it be, this 'technology' will have to do: S omebody W ants A n I tunes M emento

02/02/2009 11:42:00 AM

plinthcourse

excellent...excellent

01/15/2009 07:12:00 PM

djladoo

I didn't notice the Mc-Cane until just now. Swaim, you're ten kinds of awesome.

01/07/2009 07:32:00 PM

Tartra

anyone notice how more stickers keep appearing on his jacket? lol that's funny =)

11/25/2008 09:08:00 AM

hayleyoc

Oh my god i saw a guy in one of the Obama watches also this was incredible i couldn't stop laughing at the t-shirts

11/06/2008 01:16:00 AM

Dollychan326

Is this video coming from the engineering quadrant of a starship?

11/01/2008 03:04:00 AM

taumpytearrs

I couldn't find rocks or canes in the store

10/31/2008 10:02:00 PM

peitydeity

Wow. that Obama waffle mix is pathetic. Didn't know it had gotten this bad

10/31/2008 08:33:00 AM

Mighty

ha friggen larious

10/30/2008 08:36:00 PM

tiannatantrum

First minute of Who's Nailin Paylin HILARIOUS - Oscar material! www.TOKILLFOR.com

10/30/2008 05:33:00 PM

dalekiloveyou

lol

10/30/2008 04:59:00 PM

nachoseller99

If I had a significant other, I would totally let Swaim bang her. On the condition that he wore the sequin trim and nothing else and I could watch from inside the wardrobe.

10/30/2008 04:55:00 PM

captain_cranky

I love you, Michael Swaim! I just thought you should know.

10/30/2008 03:40:00 PM

cupcake

I'm starting to love the crackedtv. Also... the sequin trim made me fall outof my chair. i think my bones might have melted a little...

10/30/2008 02:00:00 PM

batshitinsane

I totally raked in on the election. Somebody has to design those bumper stickers.

10/30/2008 08:55:00 AM

jerrylambert

so. goddamn. funny.

10/30/2008 08:11:00 AM

beatcamel

Couple things. 1) Your sweater vest is awesome. 2) Thats Right! You tell that old nun whore! 3) Pics of DOB in said thong? Kthx. As Lester said, you have my permission as well to engage in nonconsentual coitus with my significant other.

10/30/2008 05:45:00 AM

JCizz

I.. I think I love you... XD More vids like this please? ~t

10/30/2008 02:15:00 AM

TeninaT

This guy is a douche.

10/29/2008 10:04:00 PM

flatsquirrel

S.W.A.I.M, now shamelessly cashing in on people shamelessly cashing in on a shamelessly commercial election. Good stuff.

10/29/2008 08:40:00 PM

Saevio

I love you Swaim. You totally have my permission to sleep with my girlfriend.

10/29/2008 07:01:00 PM

Lester_Polfus

Oh my God ... you're fucking hilarious!

10/29/2008 06:51:00 PM

LexTaliones

Wow, again, really well done!

10/29/2008 06:47:00 PM

Geans

I was in Denver during the DNC, and these two kids were selling Obama watches with an infinitely better slogan: "It'll be the best time all day...Obama time!" I wonder what it is about Obama that lends himself to being slapped on a watch. Where are our "Maverick" alarm clocks?

10/29/2008 10:08:00 AM

Thicket

it was good but i miss week in douchbaggery.

10/29/2008 08:51:00 AM

Vaine

Hirarious!

10/29/2008 05:45:00 AM

Bonegina

well its not lex friedman and the week in douchebaggery, but it was pretty damn funny. carry on swaim

10/28/2008 11:43:00 PM

jethro1863

First minute of Who's Nailin Paylin http://www.tokillfor.com/view_video.php?viewkey=0b04c62c5db3ad8298a8&page=12&viewtype=&category=mr

10/28/2008 11:02:00 PM

fake_spambot

lmao "Like, I dunno, RING POPS!?"

10/28/2008 10:05:00 PM

theaccount77

Why is the volume so low on this? I don't have the greatest speakers on this computer, but I can watch videos on it no problem, but the Cracked stuff is always so quiet that I have to turn the volume to maximum and shut the doors and windows to keep out any ambient noise. Otherwise pretty great though. :-)

10/28/2008 09:56:00 PM

Wallsy

Exceeded expectations. A+ Carry on, Swaim.

10/28/2008 09:49:00 PM

Pwnzerfaust

You forgot the Palin porno. who's nailin' Paylin. bet dob wishes it was him.

10/28/2008 09:48:00 PM

salamadestron

Swaim, do you have any idea how thrilled I was to see you using a Barenaked Ladies track (let alone King of Bedside Manor, a lesser-known cut off of Gordon)? Embarrassingly thrilled, that's how thrilled. This combined with your deeming of Achewood as the funniest webcomic leads me to believe that you are not just a silly man with a trust-worthy haircut, but that you also have impeccable taste in living. Kudos, sir.

10/28/2008 09:14:00 PM

Aiden

Tis show is made of win.

10/28/2008 08:55:00 PM

Beezelboss

wow this show is like 1000X better than HBN. only 'like'.

10/28/2008 08:38:00 PM

NO_ONe21

"SELLOUT!" ha ha ha.

10/28/2008 08:37:00 PM

MC95

I love how he keeps adding pins to his suit lol

10/28/2008 08:29:00 PM

derk11

Thank you hostbot SWAIM. I most certianly rofld. Also, nice to see those incredibly witty people still playing with the profanity filter.

10/28/2008 08:20:00 PM

CamboD

Again. SWAIM's coming has NOTHING to do with HBN's going. And enjoy last 8 week overlap for which you've had us both. Unless you're one of those people who thinks one of us sucks.

10/28/2008 08:05:00 PM

G-Stone

Swaim, I think I love you, but what am I so afraid of?

10/28/2008 07:58:00 PM

t_littleton

this swaim or swiam guy is funny.

10/28/2008 07:43:00 PM

Poncho

TROOOOOOLLLLL REFERENCE!!!!!

10/28/2008 07:40:00 PM

Ammaleth

*&. Fuck.

10/28/2008 07:32:00 PM

ice-grip

Gladstone 7 swaim are both awesome. Awesomely awesome.

10/28/2008 07:32:00 PM

ice-grip

"If you've ever tuned in to a presidential debate and had the overwhelming urge to lick the screen, you might be powerfully insane." That made me lol like neither HBN nor Week in Douchbaggery ever has. Nothing personal, Gladstone, he's just...you know, better than you.

10/28/2008 07:06:00 PM

Wren

It wasn't Gladstone so YAAAAYYY!!! Also, as for cleaning cars with gold bricks, try platinum bars, using small circles so you don't leave streaks.

10/28/2008 06:45:00 PM

echocharlie

here i was all sad about the end of hbn and now there's this. what i'm saying is, the abrupt cutaway from the "time for a change" bit was fucking brilliant.

10/28/2008 06:41:00 PM

AceInTheHole

Okay Mr. Swaim, you did your bit for ring pops, the fairness doctrine says equal time for Caramel Apple Pops!

10/28/2008 06:21:00 PM

Saul Goode

I would also like to say you have very good stage presence (despite the lack of a stage). What I mean is, you seem very comfortable in front of a camera and confident about the jokes. It's nice to see a video on the Internet that isn't just some jackass attempting to be funny in a very awkward corny manor (That's how I view most people on the Internet in general.) I am a fan of HBN too, but I think it would have more success if he was more comfortable in front of the camera. Okay I'm done now.

10/28/2008 05:46:00 PM

Shana F

Well done. You corrected all the issues with the last one: camera, sound, and suckiness. I was amused. I look forward to this series.

10/28/2008 05:46:00 PM

Tree

Ah, Swaim. You can replace White Ninja AND HBN, as far as I'm concerned.

10/28/2008 05:13:00 PM

AtxAxLoss

HBN is better. We're dumping it for this?!

10/28/2008 05:11:00 PM

SamLowery

So wait... are you saying that if I buy two rocks from you for 9.99 you'll throw in that cane?

10/28/2008 05:11:00 PM

bigdaddyguido

I was just thinking about troll 2 before I clicked onto cracked.

10/28/2008 04:47:00 PM

MarcAbian

God damn it I love you Swaim.

10/28/2008 04:47:00 PM

Merlot_Williams

This was great. But the bandana at the end made it better.

10/28/2008 04:35:00 PM

saint_gutfree

"Who's Nailin Paylin? Adventures of a Hockey MILF" trailer available on www.TOKILLFOR.com!

10/28/2008 04:35:00 PM

fake_spambot

Swaim, when did you get a Tardis?

10/28/2008 04:24:00 PM

SickBoy

Too many quotable lines!!! lol Swaim is funny! EXCLAMATION MARK!!!!

10/28/2008 04:24:00 PM

boaby

So glad to have S.W.A.I.M. - but I also can't wait for another Those Aren't Muskets. Is there enough Swaim to go around?

10/28/2008 04:12:00 PM

Demmagog

AWESOME! I loved the mounting sticker suspense - subtle yet hilarious. And applause for including yourself in the list!!

10/28/2008 03:57:00 PM

RecycledViking

"I use gold bricks to polish my porche. Doesn't work very well but fuck it, I've got 12" - Funniest thing I've heard all week. Nicely done Swaim, make more videos!

10/28/2008 03:53:00 PM

MoonMilk

That was extremely hilarious

10/28/2008 03:46:00 PM

juicymale

Who's this Wayne person? This video was excellent.

10/28/2008 03:31:00 PM

G-Stone

Everyone: thanks! Firecrotch: I like Wayne too! gormster: "Use a better mic" is easier said than done when you're living off of the crumbs of Top Ramen that other poor people leave behind, but I'll take the reverb note to heart. Hopefully Ep.3 will be an improvement, and so on till Ep. 6, when I die of a stroke on air.

10/28/2008 03:16:00 PM

MichaelSwaim

Michael, your voice sounds incredibly weird in these videos. Like you are in a tiny, tiled room, or a tightly coiled spring. Set up some baffles, use a better mic, and a more natural sounding reverb on your voice. Try setting your reverb unit to "room" rather than "incomprehensible space".

10/28/2008 03:06:00 PM

gormster

I think I might be going a little gay for Michael Swaim. Much like how I went a little gay Michael Ian Black. I think I might just be gay. Anyway, awesome video.

10/28/2008 03:00:00 PM

ShadowStaarr

I was really hoping that all the 'clippy' clips would be of Arnold screaming from Kindergarten Cop....but you just had to throw that last one in there didn't you? The brief BNL King of Bedside Manor audio made up for it though. Gold star!

10/28/2008 02:48:00 PM

dannyjbixby

That was beautiful, Michael. Beautiful.

10/28/2008 02:47:00 PM

Papashah

If I'm not mistaken, that was the King of Bedside Manor.... there really isn't enough of that in this world anymore.

10/28/2008 02:41:00 PM

TheDuke1259

Love you. Fuck the HBN, long live SWAIM.

10/28/2008 02:41:00 PM

EamonQuinn

i have an overwhelming urge to find and buy a ring pop.

10/28/2008 02:39:00 PM

donar

this was wayyyyyyyyyy funny

10/28/2008 02:38:00 PM

Palvino

dude, swaim you are a hilarious tiger covered in a soothing balm made of satire. my laughter was quite harty

10/28/2008 02:27:00 PM

d983394

'twas good Swaim, 'twas good.

10/28/2008 02:27:00 PM

Brizz

Firecrotch on any other week you would most likely be correct, but this time Swaim realy has overdone himself.

10/28/2008 02:25:00 PM

Rutledal

Can I have your amazing sticker/pin appearing powers, please?

10/28/2008 02:24:00 PM

roguehobbit

Lmao, time for a change. I enjoyed this.

10/28/2008 02:11:00 PM

Otaku

haha, I think these HBN-style vids have some real charm, Swaim.

10/28/2008 02:05:00 PM

Gregoclock

This really sucks. Sorry, Swaim, but Hate by the Numbers kicks your ass.

10/28/2008 01:57:00 PM

Firecrotch

ah, good funny. I chortled.

10/28/2008 01:51:00 PM

lenny42

I love you for mentioning ring pops...i love ring pops.

10/28/2008 01:36:00 PM

smay

I wonder if Sarah Palin would wear the Palin thong?

10/28/2008 01:35:00 PM

TheAntiAssClown

That was pretty funny, you should some music in it somwhere.

10/28/2008 01:28:00 PM

mrpopenfresh

There can never be enough said about how awesome it was to see the Americana Bullshit Bling increase in ridiculousness. ABB is already ridiculous, especially the expectation that candidates are REQUIRED to wear it. But, that was the point of the joke, wasn't it? Well, that and ABB manufacturers making a profit for it.

10/28/2008 01:20:00 PM

witmereric

I got far more excited than necessary over ring pops.

10/28/2008 01:19:00 PM

Synskin

Much better than last week! Hoorah!

10/28/2008 01:17:00 PM

articdragone

I love you Mr. Swaim. Did you know that? Because I do.

10/28/2008 01:02:00 PM

Shana F

Clippy is brought to you by DiVX.

10/28/2008 01:00:00 PM

stansimpson

@youllforgetit: Your username kind of looks like you'll forge tit. Is that referring to breast implants in some way?

10/28/2008 12:51:00 PM

ZiggyTheZ

RINGPOPS

10/28/2008 12:38:00 PM

dodo

THAT WAS FUCKING AWESOME. More please. HBN cant even compare.

10/28/2008 12:31:00 PM

666omega666

ahhh the ever increasing flair!

10/28/2008 12:29:00 PM

filler

Bandit Keith supports America, IN AMERICA.

10/28/2008 12:26:00 PM

J-Dizzlle

Swaim. The dramatic zoom on the ring pops... Fucking genius, man.

10/28/2008 12:19:00 PM

DP13

Oh dear god. I couldn't even just choose ONE quote that I loved from this. It was all so delicious.

10/28/2008 12:17:00 PM

youllforgetit

sloppyjoes7: you don't like it, watch something else. can people not figure this sort of thing out? it seems easy enough. click the back button and then click to something else. 2 seconds tops and then you don't have to annoy us with bullshit. oh yeah, amazing video.

10/28/2008 11:50:00 AM

dan0607

Okay, that was funny until you stopped talking about election products. I guess I'm not familiar enough with Cracked writers to appreciate them talking about themselves.

10/28/2008 11:50:00 AM

red_hot_kitchen

The ever-increasing America bling was the best part of this video. When the flag headgear came out I had to pause the video because I was laughing so hard I was missing jokes. Excellent work. I loved it.

10/28/2008 11:34:00 AM

Katy

Hi-larious.

10/28/2008 11:32:00 AM

Infinitiy Land

Ring... pops... I miss those!

10/28/2008 10:46:00 AM

Howabominable

That bandana was amazing.

10/28/2008 10:41:00 AM

katkcheshire

This is a big, thick, steaming slice of pure awesome. Good job.

10/28/2008 10:13:00 AM

nearlyhugh

Holy piss! I need some ring pops and 2 Ba-Rocks so I can get my free Mc-Cane (McDonalds should think about marketing that, perhaps made of a giant french fry)

10/28/2008 09:54:00 AM

GenPayne

I agree with sloppyjoes7. It seems like these uppity comedy writers think that they can express their opinion, no matter what it is. Either agree with my way of thinking, or keep your mouth shut! Am I right?

10/28/2008 09:46:00 AM

ZiggyTheZ

Sure beats the hell outta Gladstone... ZING!

10/28/2008 09:46:00 AM

bootus

They're eating her...and then they're gonna eat me. Oh my Goooooood.

10/28/2008 09:39:00 AM

daniel.

As a conservative who likes reading humor online... I am absolutely sick of the political stuff. For some reason, online humor sites all hate McCain, and love Obama. Yes. Please talk about video games. Trees. Sunglasses. Anything but how much you hate conservatives.

10/28/2008 09:24:00 AM

sloppyjoes7

WOW I didn't know government facilities used neon tubing and cheesy clear plastic column tubes!

10/28/2008 09:12:00 AM

tank

Swaim...you my good sir have impressed me with your endless humor-spewing bowels! I salute you with Obama Waffles!

10/28/2008 09:09:00 AM

cutslasher

I never comment on anything but this was incredibly funny. Everything about it was great. Keep up the excellent work!

10/28/2008 09:07:00 AM

Jonathan

Mr Swaim, you never cease to impress. Great video.

10/28/2008 09:02:00 AM

ScionoftheFlames

I don't know... RING POPS?

10/28/2008 08:54:00 AM

Princeps

I am now officially a fan.

10/28/2008 08:40:00 AM

Lost_Soul135

ok, the bowels of what? A cheesy mall? An 80s sushi restaurant? John McCain?

10/28/2008 08:40:00 AM

tank

tank, if you pay attention to the first ten seconds, I clearly identify it as "bowels."

10/28/2008 08:36:00 AM

MichaelSwaim

Ha ha, the Trolls 2 scream (didn't see that movie of course, just that one clip).

10/28/2008 08:30:00 AM

SomeKindaRobot

What the HEll is the image you're sitting in front of?

10/28/2008 08:30:00 AM

tank

Ring pops. that made me gigle so hard

10/28/2008 08:26:00 AM

xolta

Really fucking funny

10/28/2008 08:17:00 AM

Mark

Funny shit.

10/28/2008 08:08:00 AM

JBomb018

I want a BaRock and a McCane!

10/28/2008 08:02:00 AM

Lyonkyng

hilarious mr swaim! i was especially fond of the continuous spreading of patriotic pieces on your suit. keep up the good work!

10/28/2008 07:48:00 AM

maeghanjeanette

Oh my god, I couldn't make it past the words "powerfully insane". It killed me. Owchies!

10/28/2008 07:43:00 AM

a_knobbie

I think the highlight of this was your gold bricks and porches and their inefficient combination in the cleaning process. Very awesome job, Swaim!

10/28/2008 07:27:00 AM

Tartra

Very glad to hear people talking about improvement. I totally agree. If all goes as planned, the show should actually get better over time as I learn what doesn't suck. So stay tuned, I guess is what I'm saying? Yeah, that's it. Don't leave your computers until the next episode is up. And Lex, for shame. You KNOW you're just leading me on with all that sexy talk. Don't play with my heart.

10/28/2008 07:19:00 AM

MichaelSwaim

I want to be the screaming sidekick. I'll just sit next to you and scream at what I deem to be the most inopportune times. The rest of the time I'll just nod before you reach the ends of sentences.

10/28/2008 07:01:00 AM

YesLoitering

I enjoyed your patriotism growth throughout the show. If only you could have found more things to stick on your suit.

10/28/2008 06:54:00 AM

Onodera

I just created a ew account just to say this video was hilarious. that is all.

10/28/2008 06:52:00 AM

Intolerance

Look!!! Below me...it's Lex! Dude, I miss "The Week In Douchebaggery!"

10/28/2008 06:50:00 AM

olenski2

Good job, Swaim...one of the best Cracked videos since "The Week In Douchebaggery." You have replaced DOB as my favorite Cracked writer. BTW, fuck Joe The Plumber, what about Sylvester The Janitor?

10/28/2008 06:46:00 AM

olenski2

I have a hard time believing you're not a human. No robot could look that sexy.

10/28/2008 06:41:00 AM

lex

Swaim funny!

10/28/2008 06:29:00 AM

jonnyt

But seriously, Tupac released a double album on December 7th. I mean, Outkast has released 1 album since their 2003 double album, give the dead guy some slack.

10/28/2008 06:21:00 AM

Benacor

Very funny Swaim! Hilarious even! One of the, if not the, funniest pieces on this site. Bring us more like this, please. One thing though, sometimes you need to enunciate better. But as said: great vid!

10/28/2008 05:56:00 AM

Rrinman

It was much better than the first, loved it. Plus the pieces of flare were awesome.

10/28/2008 05:55:00 AM

wilsbadkarma

...woohoo, Fernando and Cecilia all in one post! Also, I loved the constant additions to the costumes. And the Porsche comment. And, "I chose bacon."

10/28/2008 05:55:00 AM

RivenHale

best cracked-made video i've seen. it might have been slightly funnier if swaim had kept a straight face.

10/28/2008 05:55:00 AM

bunni

You have always been hysterical. Your site actually led me to Cracked. Keep up the great work!

10/28/2008 05:53:00 AM

ManifestBestiny

That was pretty good. The first episode was pretty "meh...", but this one was hilarious, keep it up!

10/28/2008 05:40:00 AM

TheCount

Triple first.

10/28/2008 05:37:00 AM

Benacor