CNN Finds Another Excuse to Report on Boobs

Portland has basically the same nudity laws as the UK. So long as your intent isn't to offend, you can be naked. In practice I'm not sure how well walking through the streets of Leeds in my birthday suit would go. You'd probably get let off with a caution. In places where there aren't many people I doubt they'd even take you into a station. Of course, I'd have to overcome my crippling shame and fear of my own exposure first.

07/26/2009 02:25:00 PM

thecritic06

get all the girls you want with lots of money: myefusjon.com/buildadream

06/11/2009 09:02:00 AM

turkeyonrye

I still can't get over how incredibly sexy that 'Mother Earth Edition' would be.

05/18/2009 04:48:00 PM

Wren

free full porn at www.thedizzspot.com

03/25/2009 02:11:00 AM

noodles1

mmm there should me more girls-friends of the earth like that, ike in 60s....

01/04/2009 03:52:00 PM

ELFfromToronto

please believe me when i say that not everyone in portland is this douchey.

11/18/2008 05:10:00 AM

kilnbrick

Fuck CNN. Trust them to make an uninteresting neighbourhood weirdo into a whole news story. This is one more example of why we need to abolish all 24 hour news channels.

10/08/2008 08:45:00 PM

SickBoy

Thank you thunderdome! I have just been playing out your idea for an HBN of "Gladstone's HBN" in my head. It's the first time HBN has ever made me laugh. Seriously, it could really be hillarious. Think about it Gladstone.

10/07/2008 07:45:00 PM

FishBulb

Gladstone I think it's time you get a new gig.

10/07/2008 05:16:00 PM

FishBulb

[sarcasm] I can relate to the portland police department. My mom makes me put duck tape over my nipples and genitalis before I take a shower [/sarcasm] Fuck. if you havent seen titties or a dick before, get real

10/05/2008 10:14:00 PM

DIY

Wow, I haven't watched this segment in a long time and now I remember why I stopped in the first place. HATE BY NUMBERS IS HORRIBLE!!! Gladstone needs to put himself out of my misery and blow his brains out. Not Funny dude, not funny.

10/05/2008 06:48:00 PM

burnzee_stephen

Do you think when we have androids, you'll get into a conversation with one, get a few sentences in and they'll just pause and in their eyes you'll see "buffering..."

10/04/2008 02:11:00 PM

AnderX

Why HELLo. hahahha. NAKED HBN please please please!

10/03/2008 06:49:00 PM

bunni

Hilarious video. This one is good too... http://www.internetisfun.com/item.php?ownerid=44&playid=1317

10/03/2008 10:34:00 AM

Casey

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Yet there are those who open many eyes. Eyes are the mirror of the soul, someone has said. So we look closely at the eyes to see the nature of the soul. Sometimes when we see the eyes--those horrible times when we see the eyes, eyes that ... that have no soul--then we know darkness, then we wonder: where is the beauty? There is none if the eyes are soulless.

10/02/2008 09:32:00 AM

LogLady

Really? You're complaining about CNN reporting on naked women? Who cares if she's a hippie?! She's showin' the girls!

10/01/2008 10:31:00 PM

Ben861

Thank you Gladstone for your in-depth analysis on this topic. How did you know I enjoy boobs?

10/01/2008 08:39:00 PM

StickManJr

Have my babies, Gladstone. Have all 28 of them.

10/01/2008 08:06:00 PM

Tartra

this probobly was your best hate by numbers gladstone, but it still lacked something. still waiting for you to do a hate by numbers on yourself.

10/01/2008 12:09:00 AM

thunderdome

"the only things I hate are non-bio-degradable products... and clothes" That one line may be the funniest thing on Cracked all week until DOB posts.

09/30/2008 10:29:00 PM

Adam44

Relax Jethro, I'm not seriously making Age of Aquarious/Let the Sunshine In, the new song for HBN. Special occasion.

09/30/2008 10:21:00 PM

G-Stone

gladstone you were one of three people who knew who morphine was... dont throw that all away. bring back morphine at the end

09/30/2008 10:13:00 PM

jethro1863

NO NO NO NO NO BRING BACK MORPHINE AT THE END!!

09/30/2008 10:12:00 PM

jethro1863

Gladstone: All I can say to that is HOORAY!!!

09/30/2008 07:55:00 PM

echocharlie

fail gladstone is fail

09/30/2008 06:18:00 PM

thunderdome

Wow did i really just read thru all the comments i must have too much time on my hands. good vid but still miss the week in douchbaggery

09/30/2008 05:58:00 PM

bigslickmage

fail. unfunny.

09/30/2008 02:20:00 PM

codedick

Aww... Why did Gladstone have to stop? I mean, boobs.

09/30/2008 01:08:00 PM

Firecrotch

BOOBS!!!

09/30/2008 08:42:00 AM

TheKid

Still love HBN, Gladstone, and here's an advanced warning: don't ever change the look of the show, or the lead in music. The look is cool, and it's got a lot of class. Go, Gladstone!

09/30/2008 08:10:00 AM

matt_t_r

Careful Gladstone: ClintAllen is a serial rapist!

09/30/2008 06:47:00 AM

Onodera

Gladstone, I can see you don't want to answer my questions. Would you care to PM me and we can talk like that maybe???

09/30/2008 04:23:00 AM

ClintAllen

You should move to portland just because its better than where you are right now.

09/30/2008 12:11:00 AM

Shackleford

I don't think CNN can beat Fox News's coverage of boobs. I mean serial killers... with boobs? I'm not really sure. http://ca.youtube.com/watch?v=5XNUEINIVFo

09/29/2008 11:32:00 PM

Princess Heart

Love craftian, if you think the bible says boobs are evil, you are way wrong. Just check out Song of Solomon. "Your two breasts are like two fawns, like twin fawns of a gazelle that browse among the lilies." The whole book is about sex and boobs basicly.

09/29/2008 10:40:00 PM

Brainsurgery

HAAHHAAHHAHAAHAHAH laughs everytime from gladstone. Cracked is a big site and Gladstone is a key contributor. Knock him all you want but the vast majority of people can't do this shit for their lives. Except for craptions

09/29/2008 10:12:00 PM

michiganman06

woo woo!

09/29/2008 10:11:00 PM

CCBassline

I wouldn't minde if she came around. It'd be a nice pleasant sight.

09/29/2008 10:06:00 PM

Ant095

Uh... I don't think riding a bicycle naked means what she thinks it does.

09/29/2008 09:56:00 PM

iraleecantellia

Saw your thig on digg,gotta say the humor escsapes me. The lady thinks people will pay attention to her cause cause she is naked? While this isn't exactly newsworthy your failed attempts at dry humor buffered by long pauses really make for uncomfortable unfulfilled anti anticipation. Oh dude whats with the "cool" bar backgrond, I can smell the cologne from here. The chic likes riding topless, so what?

09/29/2008 08:44:00 PM

rob79

Wow you guys should do a story on Hashing......as in the drinking club with a running problem

09/29/2008 08:34:00 PM

PolyTard

Hey, I was all ready to get into it with echocharlie but then I checked out his profile page it was so funny i've decided to stop making videos and copy and paste his stuff into blog posts. Here's the first one from his profile: "Confusious say man who walk through airport gate sideways is going to Bangkok" Thanks Echo.

09/29/2008 08:18:00 PM

G-Stone

LOL, Slow news day I guess. Nothing wrong with that. LOL JIf www.privacy-center.ru.tc

09/29/2008 08:12:00 PM

JimmyCrackHead

Notice Gladstone has a picture of someone else as his avatar? Even Gladstone doesn't like Gladstone. By the way, what exactly is he hating in this?

09/29/2008 08:08:00 PM

echocharlie

portland seems a good place to commit crime. no one can get through on 911 because of the gross unappreciation of nudity.

09/29/2008 07:52:00 PM

baronzemo

*Whistles* Riding around naked on one of those hard bicyle seats? That woman is braver than I am. Another fun HBN, Gladstone!

09/29/2008 07:34:00 PM

Dierdre

Okay... was I the only one who actually wanted to see Gladstone naked? More out of curiosity than anything... Oh alright, I have a massive crush on him.

09/29/2008 05:59:00 PM

gormster

MandeR, Yes, The Night by Morphine is the standard theme song, but I reserve the right for special occasion songs. I thought this was one of those times. But yeah, the night. can't beat it.

09/29/2008 05:41:00 PM

G-Stone

Dude, you should have the sound clip from The Night that you used to have at the end, because that song is awesome and just having it at the intro doesn't do it justice. Good entry otherwise. Hey, my name's Wayne too! There aren't enough of us in the world.

09/29/2008 05:28:00 PM

MandeR

Normally I don't take the time create an account to just comment on one thing. But I've been a long time anonymous viewer. I will admit that at times the Gladestone humor is.... different, but it can be really downright awesome. I must say this video is by far the BEST one.

09/29/2008 05:27:00 PM

airddragon

Pretty good. It was much more entertaining than the stock market drop. Two nits: 1) Max von Sydow is best known for his role in Strange Brew, not some arthouse crap. What are you, some kind of elitist? 2) Your robe should be made of bamboo fibers, not hemp fibers. Hemp fibers are so 2006. c) Where were the boobs, and why wasn't Larry King talking about them? Larry King talking about boobs is comedy gold!

09/29/2008 04:17:00 PM

JohnTCapp

Pretty good this week Gladstone. Also, question: what song do you include in your intro? After having seen so many HBN episodes, it's stuck in my head...

09/29/2008 04:01:00 PM

mpb337

You'd be surprised about what you can get away with on the east coast tshp.... the city of Brattleboro in Vermont allows full nudity... yes that's right...

09/29/2008 03:18:00 PM

watchthetomato

@lovecraftian: You've got to be all kinds of fucked up to take a perfectly good HBN about nudity and turn it in to anti-christian hate.

09/29/2008 02:54:00 PM

tshp

Oh ClintAllen, do you really think your pleas for mercy will help you? @Gladstone: You know why she's in portland? Cause you pull that shit on the east coast and you'd get raped. I am just 3000 miles from happy, secure nudity. Wait for me Earth Friend Jen!

09/29/2008 02:53:00 PM

tshp

Why are americans so afraid of attractive naked women in public? Oh wait I know, christians! They love to complain about anything sexual because thier fairy tale book says boobies are evil. I thought Portland was cool enough to stop listening to such idiots.

09/29/2008 02:42:00 PM

Lovecraftian

funny as usual

09/29/2008 01:01:00 PM

xolta

lex friedman was a joke. fuck fuck fuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuck bitch asshole

09/29/2008 12:37:00 PM

cuppyjoe

LMAO...since when is there a profanity button.!?

09/29/2008 12:08:00 PM

a_penis

willard3...i feel bad for you man..the news on cracked was so unfunny that it sapped you of your ability to laugh..its alright we'll get thru this together(and by we'll i mean you, and by get thru i mean your boned)

09/29/2008 11:27:00 AM

Wasman

You're a very sarcastic person Gladstone, I can really relate.

09/29/2008 11:26:00 AM

unamerican

Erin, you're a bitch.

09/29/2008 10:50:00 AM

ArthurSpeakman

Hate by numbers is the only video feature on cracked that is always funny. Nuts to the news on cracked/this week in douchebaggery

09/29/2008 10:01:00 AM

Erinthebitch

why is this still on and the news on cracked is gone? i don't think i have ever laughed while watching this show.

09/29/2008 09:23:00 AM

willard3

lex friedman (l)

09/29/2008 09:15:00 AM

agusohyeah

pahahabahaahahaha, gold, pure comedy gold! no, wait, this isnt the week in douchebaggery, this is unfunny tripe.

09/29/2008 09:12:00 AM

muppet1010

Earth Friend Jen may be an radical environmentalist whack job but I would still do her. she is way hot, better looking than most "earth Goddesses" who have the audacity to go around naked when that when is clearly affront against nature.

09/29/2008 08:55:00 AM

TheAntiAssClown

Loved it! Nothing says how much we all love Mother Earth more than boobs!!!

09/29/2008 07:44:00 AM

wilsbadkarma

Once again, I'd like people to address the issue at hand, which is Gladstone, and stop commenting about me. Yes, it's true, I love little boys, but we're not here to talk about that. We're here to talk about Gladstone. I'd appreciate it if he would comment back on my first comment. I would also appreciate it if the rest of you fucking commenters would stop outing a pedophile.

09/29/2008 07:42:00 AM

ClintAllen

This was great. Gladstone is as funny as Clint is unlikeable!

09/29/2008 07:27:00 AM

lounsey

HA! So true. rplaya28 is always, always right. I think ClintAllen's political career is now over. Hopefully, his commenting career will soon follow.

09/29/2008 07:03:00 AM

Onodera

Oh...I like Mother Earth, too. Especially when she's naked. This one time, she and I were gettin' down on the firmament and she started doing this crazy thing with her toungue and...well you had to be there. Seriously. Mother Earth defines MILF. She's the best.

09/29/2008 07:02:00 AM

Yahweh

rplaya28, please post comments about Gladstone and his HBN. Leave my love of little boys out of this.

09/29/2008 07:02:00 AM

ClintAllen

This just in, ClintAllen likes little boys.

09/29/2008 06:37:00 AM

rplaya28

The news needs more boobs it's better than this election talk or all these economic problems (which I don't understand but my suggestion is we get rid of the economy, no more economy no more economic problems, see?

09/29/2008 06:28:00 AM

Infinitiy Land

She was'nt even naked, just topless, not say boobs are'nt worth showing, its not like we are in financial trouble, or in the middle of a major presidential campaign... Good Job, Gladstone.

09/29/2008 06:00:00 AM

Jmx70inNJ

Ok Gladstone, a couple of things. First, I thought you needed more boobs. Seriously, there can never be enough nipples. Second, what's that awful background you're always doing your monologue in front of? Is it a picture of a club, or a techno scene? Well, you're by yourself regardless, so it doesn't really say much for you. In fact, it could point to how lonely you are. Third, don't ever do a mother earth edition unless you really mean it. All the hype and excitement, yet none of the payout. Don't ever tease me like that again. Ok, and lastly, stop censoring titties... Even if it was CNN who did it, you could still like photoshop some in or something.

09/29/2008 05:56:00 AM

ClintAllen

That picture of the swedish actor scared the crap out of me

09/29/2008 05:48:00 AM