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World's Worst Suicide Hotline

By Lex Friedman

When you're at your lowest point, all you need is that one automated voice of reason to pull you back from the brink.

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37 Comments

I would have said shotgun

Posted on 4/30/2008 4:12:38 AM

the emo douchbag thing was a good pwn

Posted on 4/12/2008 12:50:57 AM

it's lex talking to lex talking about douchbags! i love the line "your suicide call will be answered in the order that there are people who care about it".

Posted on 2/2/2008 9:35:30 AM

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Your site is amazing, thank you ! Regards, The Train

Posted on 2/1/2008 1:54:34 AM

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Posted on 2/1/2008 1:54:27 AM

Pssh. Pills? Real men tear off their own faces with sporks when they want to commit suicide.

Posted on 1/27/2008 11:45:49 AM

England

That is so sad and stupid! Fancy calling England for no reason but to look like a knob! I bet she had a good laugh at these stupid idiots when that phone went down.

Posted on 1/23/2008 3:04:28 PM

gayredneck

this is the funniest thing i've seen in a long time. good work!

Posted on 12/15/2007 5:36:02 PM

boobs

:(

Posted on 12/14/2007 5:22:24 PM

lina

this is so dumb!

Posted on 12/7/2007 3:26:21 PM

Stop taking things on a parody website seriously.

Read my name.

Posted on 12/4/2007 7:02:43 PM

I LIKE TURTLES!

Posted on 11/30/2007 6:11:13 PM

not bill

first of all "are"? that misspelling was so bad i had to reread your sentence twice, and anyway, its making fun of those stupid recordings you get when you call anywhere now, it just happens that the suicide line would be the last place you would want that to happen, and therefore the funniest

Posted on 11/28/2007 11:18:55 PM

Joe

This is sad, that are world has no morals when someone needs help, about trying to kill yourself. That angers me that there is not enough people out there that will take a stand and take this seriously. Is there real people anymore. I didnt find this funny whatsoever, when you go through something like this.

Posted on 11/26/2007 10:40:27 AM

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Posted on 11/20/2007 7:02:50 AM

davo

suicide is good but homocide is way better

Posted on 11/18/2007 6:32:38 PM

The Hulk

I have actually called the suicide hotline and it was pretty much like this.

Posted on 11/15/2007 10:41:21 AM

Darth Angry

HAhaHAHAHAHA! he should have used a shotgun.

Posted on 11/13/2007 9:17:38 PM

Hollywood

We're all people here. I mean come on, who hasn't held a handful of pamprin at one time thinking that they should end it! THE PAIN IS UNBEARABLE!

Posted on 11/4/2007 8:29:50 PM

unknown

Emo faggot, the wit of your comment was lost when you spelled "like", like this, "liek". Though I agree with the premise of your name. Emo's are faggots, but the reason they act like they're going to commit suicide every day probably has more to do with the fact that they're whiny pansies who want attention, than any special humor or enjoyment they get out of the idea of suicide.

Posted on 11/4/2007 3:30:17 PM

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