Cracked Columnists 501-600

• Dr. Pepper, Axl Rose and a Completely Unrelated Video: The Friday Nooner (EST)!
• Are These Visions of Things As They Will Be, Or Things As They Might Be?
• In The End, The Slogan "Free Tibet" Barely Won Out Over "OH SHIIIT, I'M ON FIIIRE!"
• How To Stay A Virgin For The Rest Of Your Life: The Daily Nooner (EST)!
• Boondock Saints 2: Bad Idea or Terrible Idea?
• Smashing Pumpkins Sues Instead Of Holding Its Breath Until It Turns Blue
• Fuck Iraq - Carson, California Is The REAL War Zone: The Daily Nooner (EST)!
• Dodging Sniper Fire Is The New Not Having Sexual Relations With That Woman
• Hammacher Schlemmer Makes Dreams Come True: The Daily Nooner (EST)!
• Should Cracked boycott the Beijing Olympics?
• Cracked Teaches You How To Win The Radiohead Video Contest
• McCain Camp Reaches Out To Young Voters On The YouTubeNet: The Daily Nooner (EST)!
• A New Beatles Album You Won't Buy (But I Will)
• I Will No Longer Sleep With Tina Fey If She Asks Me To
• Guitar Hero DS Opens Up Brand New Looking-Like-A-Douche Possibilities: The Friday Nooner (EST)!
• Robin Williams is a Sexual Deviant
• Aging Beatle Ravaged by Gull-Faced Harpy!
• Nobody Ever Said Parenting Was Going To Be Easy: The Daily Nooner (EST)!
• Lindsay Lohan Is Boring, But FoxNews Doesn't Care
• I For One Welcome Our New Robotic Dog Overlords: The Daily Nooner (EST)!
• Eliot Spitzer and Jim McGreevey: Profiles in Dignity
• Jim Carrey Hits A New Low: The Daily Nooner (EST)!
• Cracked Rates RateMyCop.com
• CNN Helps You Decide Which Corner Of America Is Going To Hell Sooner
• What The Internet Was Made For: The Daily Nooner (EST)!
• Ashley Dupre to Headline SXSW 2009!
• Hannah Montana Should Date the Cracked Readers
• I Hope She Had A Magazine: The Friday Nooner (EST)!
• Timberlake Speaks Out! But at the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame Induction Ceremony, so Very Few People Hear.
• Disease is Literally Falling From the Sky
• Black People Love Dancing Elmos (And Other Cultural Trends I Know Nothing About): The Daily Nooner (EST)!
• I'm Not Qualified to Write This Post
• Justin Timberlake Denies Reports That He Is Dating God
• Who DOESN'T Need A Video Movie? The Daily Nooner (EST)!
• Super Smash Brothers: The DEFINITIVE Review (Do You Enjoy It? Only I Have The Answer!)
• Thou Shalt Not Do Stuff That Annoys Me: The Daily Nooner (EST)!
• Pedophilia is now a sin, so knock it off fellas.
• Nothing Says Tasty Chocolate Like A Soulful, Barefoot, White Girl
• Santo Gold Is Pretty Much The Best Thing Ever: The Daily Nooner (EST)!
• The Greatest News Headline You'll Ever Read
• If The Army Can Make An Awesome Video Game, Why Can't Christians? The Friday Nooner (EST)!
• Your Kindle is a Filthy Liar
• Light Some Torches and Pour 40 Oz. of Ale on the Curb
• The New McGruff Sucks: The Daily Nooner (EST)!
• An Open Letter to Will Ferrell
• Cracked's Twitter Updates for 2008-03-05
• Gwyneth Paltrow Helps Kate Moss Have Crack Baby
• 8 Upcoming Movie Adaptations That Must Be Stopped
• Science Is Bullshit; This Kid Is Magic: The Daily Nooner (EST)!
• Samuel L. Jackson Releases Video Endorsement of Presidential Candidate!
• How Idiots Pull Down Palm Trees: The Daily Nooner (EST)!
• Fucking military has fucking Ray Gun. Fuck.
• Cracked's Twitter Updates for 2008-03-03
• YouTube Contest Brings Crushing Reality To Delusional Blogger
• Filipino Prisoners Go Viral (Again): The Daily Nooner (EST)!
• And Once Again, I Lose To Oprah
• Miley, Mandy and Me (Hannah Montana's a Bitch)
• Pedophilia: Get-Rich-Quick Scheme or Money Pit?
• "My God, They're Dead. They're All Dead...Well, At Least We Have Billions Of Seeds."
• If It Has Two Teams It's A Sport: The Daily Nooner (EST)!
• Pruane2Forever FOREVER: The Daily Nooner (EST)!
• If This Is The Kind Of Sex Gene Simmons Has Had 4,000 Times, I No Longer Envy Him
• Cracked's Twitter Updates for 2008-02-26
• I Know We're All Just People, But You Europeans Are Just Plain Weird: The Daily Nooner (EST)!
• Americans change religions approximately as often as they change long distance plans.
• Maxim Strays From Journalistic Excellence?
• Babies Have Terrible Musical Taste: The Daily Nooner (EST)!
• A Cracked Exclusive! The Only Post-Oscars Rundown Available on the Internet!
• Put Cage in a Cage, and This Week in Hating Hannah Montana
• Two Great Movies That Nobody Will Ever See: The Friday Nooner (EST)!
• Heretofore Unknown and Exclusive Secrets of Lindsay Lohan's Gooch and Funbags
• I HAVE No Change Jar!
• If You Eat Diamonds And Shit Out Fortune 500 Companies, You'll Love TheLadders.com: The Daily Nooner (EST)!
• Cracked's Twitter Updates for 2008-02-20
• Across The Universe Hits Video: Lennon and Harrison Glad To Be Dead
• Monkeys Are Strong, Bulldogs Are Lazy and Rejected Breast Implants In A Dude's Leg: The Daily Nooner (EST)!
• New GPS Voice Skins! A Video Review
• I'm Glad You're Enthusiastic, But You Just Made Me Hate Your Candidate: The Daily Nooner (EST)!
• Now Hump the HD-DVD player!
• Cracked's Twitter Updates for 2008-02-18
• The Academy Awards Has Writers?
• A New Meme Is Born: The Daily Nooner (EST)!
• Spears is Spifflicated on Giggle Juice? I'm On It, Chief!
• Cracked's Twitter Updates for 2008-02-17
• Cracked's Twitter Updates for 2008-02-15
• 'Choking Game' Takes a Surprisingly Dark Turn
• Nigerians Knows A Good Business Model When They See One: The Friday Nooner (EST)!
• Look, if You Don't Want to Get Ripped Off, Stop Buying Things
• Cracked's Twitter Updates for 2008-02-14
• Jesus is More Photogenic, Anyway
• You Can't Burn A Mormon's Genitals: The Daily Nooner (EST)!
• "Thoughts and Prayers"--When You Care Enough to Reach for the First Cliche That Comes to Mind
• Cracked's Twitter Updates for 2008-02-13
• Imagine No Frivolous Lawsuits
• 3,462 People Have A Lot Of Explaining To Do: The Daily Nooner (EST)!
• What do a Fourth Grader, a Chimp, and a White Supremacist Have in Common?
• Cracked's Twitter Updates for 2008-02-12
• Cracked's Twitter Updates for 2008-02-12
• Japan Wins Again: The Daily Nooner (EST)!
• eBay Sellers furious with eBay, plan to stop using eBay for several hours.