Cracked Columnists 401-500

• Flying Dildos Are The New Che Guevara: The Daily Nooner (EST)!
• 7 Reasons Kid Rock's New Song Might be the Worst Ever
• Magibon: A Crippling Addiction
• The Top 5 Nooners: #1 Things That Rhyme With "Casnadian Destroyer": The Daily Nooner (EST)!
• CNN.com Readers More Infuriating Than Cracked Readers (And That's Saying Something)
• Rivers Cuomo's Vlog May Get A Song Written, But At What Cost?
• The Top 5 Nooners: #2 The Greatest Video I Have Ever Seen In My Entire Life
• The Top 5 Nooners #3: Local TV News Is Hard Work
• Pirates XXX II: Pirates LX?
• Top 5 Nooners: #4. Apparently Pedophilia is Hilarious in Europe
• Urine Attack! Set Terror Condition Yellow!
• Isabella Rossellini Pornography! (Prepare For Disappointment. Unless You Like Crazy Shit, That Is.)
• The Top 5 Nooners: #5. Now That's an Expensive Hat!
• 12 Things That Pissed Me Off About Larry King's Barbara Walters Inteview
• Mencia Mania Starts Here! (A Carlos Mencia Primer)
• The End Of The Road (Sort Of): The Friday Nooner (EST)!
• "Boober" From Fraggle Rock: Great Character Name, or Best Character Name Ever?
• The Funky Bunch Have Some Bad News For Mark Wahlberg
• BJ The Messenger Attackheads Some Crackheads, Invents A Word In The Process: The Daily Nooner (EST)!
• Apparently Bill O'Reilly Has ALWAYS Been A Douche: The Daily Nooner (EST)!
• Jon Stewart and Bill O'Reilly Actually Same Person?!
• The Most Anticlimatic Story Of All Time: The Daily Nooner (EST)!
• How Do You Insure a Drunken Superhero?
• The Weather Channel Sex Scandal: Oxymoron No Longer
• American TV Sucks. Thanks For Rubbing It In, Japan: The Daily Nooner (EST)
• 8 Things That Pissed Me Off About The FoxNews Fat Cops Report
• 5 Things The Cracked Readers Apparently Want to Read About
• Now That Was Entertainment! The Friday Nooner (EST)!
• Florida Threatens To Secede, America Goes Back To Sleep
• The 10 Worst Ice Cream Flavors Ever (An Obituary)
• Giving The Weirdos Their Due: The Daily Nooner (EST)!
• Innocent Disney Movie Or Harbinger Of The Apocalypse? The Daily Nooner (EST)!
• The Ultimate Scientology Video Finally Reveals The Secret To Unlocking Your Thetans
• Nikko Electronics Unveils The Most Effective Birth Control Ever: The Daily Nooner (EST)!
• A big day for pornography in Cuba
• Nobody Ever Said Being A National Joke Was Going To Be Easy: The Daily Nooner (EST)!
• Hate By Numbers: 6 Things That Pissed Me Off About CNN's Bikini Teacher Report
• ROFLCon, Another Nerd Party Cracked Wasn't Invited To
• Anyone Want A Copy Of GTA IV? I'm Over It: The Friday Nooner (EST)!
• The First Annual Cracked Fat Jokes Festival! Get It While It's Legal!
• The Hendrix Sex Tape: Ushering In A New Era Of Celebrity Humiliation
• What A Fat White Kid And A Car Full Of Death-Defying Muslims Have In Common: The Daily Nooner (EST)!
• I'm Better Than John Mayer at a Number of Things
• 4 Sure-Fire Ways To Tell If Your Girlfriend Is Screwing Justin Timberlake
• Back In My Day Vehicular Rampages Were For Grownups: The Daily Nooner (EST)!
• Jack Thompson Discovers Greater Gaming-Related Threat Than GTA IV
• Nobody Ever Said Being A Porn Star Was Going To Be Easy: The Daily Nooner (EST)!
• 11 Grand Theft Anecdotes
• A Compelling Argument For Unemployment: The Daily Nooner (EST)!
• Hey, Remember This Movie? I Hope So, Because All The Jokes In This Post Kind Of Depend On It.
• Cracked's Dan O'Brien to Host Late Night?
• FatMan27183141 Is A One-Trick Pony: The Friday Nooner (EST)!
• Is Safety Abroad a Phallusy? Protecting Your Privates from Penis Pirates
• Guitar Hero News You Had No Way of Possibly Predicting
• How A Bitch Get Her Eye Swole Up (Hint: It's By Asking A Dude To Let Her Smell His Dick): The Daily Nooner (EST)!
• Aggravated Assault: AKA How To Handle A Heckler With Style and Finesse
• Help Me Ruin Dilbert!
• 15 Cool Things to Do With Your Helicopter
• Two-For-One Disappointing Robot Monday: The Daily Nooner (EST)!
• How To Make Your Own Judd Apatow Movie
• I Challenge Hannah Montana to a Bare-Knuckle Boxing Match
• The First And Last Time I'll Ever Work For Steve Ballmer: The Friday Nooner (EST)!
• The Democratic Debates Are Over (And Colbert Won)
• I'd Start A Chant About How Much I Hate Wii Fit, But I Can't Think Of Anything Insulting That Rhymes With "Fit"
• You Know What You Are? A Self-Loathing Goat: The Daily Nooner (EST)!
• X-Files: I Want To Believe (That Gillian Anderson Thinks I'm Sexy)
• South African People to Nelson Mandela: WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT?!
• Madonna: Fuglier Than A Keebler Elf
• Just Another Day In Tokyo: The Daily Nooner (EST)!
• Cracked Purchases Marilyn Monroe Blow Job Tape.
• Nobody Ever Said The Rap Game Was Going To Be Easy: The Daily Nooner (EST)!
• Dick + Naked Woman = Extremely Misleading Headline (NSFW if You Squint)
• Stop, Collaborate and Beat Your Wife
• My Name Is Michael Swaim And I Love Chris Crocker: The Friday 9AMer (PST)!
• Youtube, The Female Cast of The OC, and a Leather Riding Crop: Together at Last
• Not A Video of Teen Girls Beating Their Schoolmate Senseless: The Daily 4PMer (EST)!
• Beamz™ Is The Dumbest Product Ever Made: The Daily Nooner (EST)!
• Eat Shit, Webbys!
• 10 Things That Pissed Me Off About CNN The Other Night
• Internet Tattoos Are A Great Idea: The Daily Nooner (EST)!
• Scenes from the 2008 Olympic Games, As Reported By The Chinese National Press News Skim
• If The Internet Is A Grade School Cafeteria We're All Stepping On Our Food And Eating It: The Daily Nooner (EST)!
• Surprisingly Ineffectual: 100 French Cops on Rollerblades
• If Books Weren't Dead, I Would Be Famous Right Now
• Amazing New MIT Robot Can Make Faces, Point At Stuff and Make Me Yawn: The Daily Nooner (EST)!
• Is There Anything More Despised Than A Lawyer Representing the Record Industry? What About a French One?
• O'Briographicon: The Wave of the Future
• Comedy Just Ain't What It Used To Be: The Friday Nooner (EST)!
• Mexico Just Got A Whole Lot Awesomer (There's Emo Blood Involved)
• The Top Nine Rejected American Apparel Billboards Featuring Woody Allen
• Sports And ABBA Is Like Farts And Cars: The Daily Nooner (EST)!
• First Look At Oliver Stone's George W. Bush Movie
• Nizziche Tizzarget Dizzemographics Are The Shizznit: The Daily Nooner (EST)!
• Pedophilia. But, You Know, the Good Kind.
• Apparently It's Illegal To Have Sex With A Picnic Table In Public: The Daily Nooner (EST)!
• Black Men are after our women: Vogue
• Dancing With The Children of Men!
• Haitian Weather Reports Are Unhelpful, Baffling And Awesome: The Daily Nooner (EST)!
• Angelina Jolie Has Diabetes and is Going to Sleep With Me, and Other Proof That God is Dead
• It's Just A Stupid Baby