Currently, pot is legal in only two states, but that isn't stopping companies from cramming marijuana into every possible product like the skateboarding older cousin of bacon and ginseng. We've already told you how people are trying to make pot ridiculously fancy, but don't worry -- even if you don't have thousands of dollars to blow on a diamond-studded bong, there will be plenty of affordable weed-infused products for you to enjoy at home, presumably while also smoking weed.
#4. Weed Sex Lube May or May Not Be Good for the Vagina
If you're a woman and you find your lady-bits clamping shut at inappropriate times, Foria Pleasure has a product that promises to open you up like a cannabis flower, or at least make your genitals smell like the inside of a record store.
"Side effects include possibly being forever trapped in the Dove Body Lotion Ad universe."
The company's soon-to-be-released "pre-lube" is brewed with real marijuana, which they claim will relax your vaginal muscles and make it easier to have an orgasm. However, according to actual medical doctors, Flora Pleasure's magical vagina ChapStick is basically untested in humans and has been known to severely affect animals with such charming side effects as "cessation of menstruation." Plus, the lube doesn't get you or your vagina high. So, like, what the hell is the point?
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Other than that.
#3. Marijuana Sizzurp Makes Drinking Medicine Fun
Sizzurp, for all you squares out there, is a combination of codeine-based cough syrup, Sprite, and Jolly Ranchers that can give you seizures and put you in the hospital. Because when you're chasing a terrible high, it might as well taste like absolute demon shit.
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"I like stuff that tastes like I do."
In the wake of the recent legalization, a starry-eyed marijuan-trepreneur decided to combine weed with the thick, antiseptic taste of cough syrup and sell it to people who have lost all fucking hope. "Grape Syzurp With Cannabidnoids" by Actabliss promises up to a 10-hour high for $45. The demand has been so great that Actabliss plans to sell a THC-free version in states where marijuana is still illegal, so if you have ever wanted to drink a ridiculously expensive bottle of cough syrup with no drugs in it, be on the lookout for that.
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"Bucket List #234: DONE!"