The following all-new two-and-a-half minutes of distilled insanity comes from Cracked.com Senior Editor David Wong's catastrophically deranged book that somehow became a film adaptation starring Oscar nominee Paul Giamatti that was then somehow selected for the Sundance Film Festival and pretty much all of the other film festivals:
For those of you who saw the teaser months ago, this is a brand-new, full trailer for John Dies at the End, which will be splattering into theaters January 25. Oh, and for all of you who just said "It's surely not coming to MY city, I'll just download that shit off BitTorrent!" -- well, guess what: They're making it available for legit download on iTunes on December 27 of this year. Wait, shouldn't all movies be released this way?
Loyal readers know that I have been mentioning this thing about every five minutes since, oh, about 2007. Forgive me for my excitement, this is kind of a big deal for somebody who writes things on the Internet. For the rest of you, you have to admit that the movie looks like fun.
Oh, and can I take a moment to thank you guys? In addition to all of this, you people put me on the New York Times Best-Seller List with the sequel to John Dies at the End, titled This Book Is Full of Spiders: Seriously Dude, Don't Touch It, which came out at the beginning of this month. It has 276 five-star reviews on Amazon, so hopefully those won't all be angrily flung back at the stores where they were purchased, covered in urine. Here is an unrelated video of a farting hippo.