Millions of fans are shedding soggy Slurm-flavored tears over the news that Futurama has been cancelled (again), rendering the season that will premiere this June its very last.
Once again, television audiences will be left with a dearth of quality Hypnotoad-related programming. But good news, everyone! While the TV show may be gone, you are already living it. Well, some aspects of the show, anyway!
One day, God willing.
Recently, Kickstarter funded a Veronica Mars movie and a sequel to the beloved cult video game Planescape: Torment with record-breaking success. It's become clear that we can directly influence the things that get created for our entertainment -- if there's a cool movie or game or album that we'd like to see, we now have the power to give people money to make those things exist, rather than just wait for some big production company to foot the bill and bitch about the end result on the Internet.
Now the Internet will be forced to bitch at itself.
Irritating punctuation enthusiast Yahoo! recently agreed to pay $1.1 billion for popular blogging site/My Little Pony porn host Tumblr. This was big news for a couple of reasons. First of all, Yahoo! is not only apparently still a thing, but also somehow has a billion dollars to throw around. Secondly, a lot of experts have been questioning whether the deal makes good financial sense. Which of course is ridiculous -- Tumblr has approximately 108 million blogs ... that's only about $10 a blog. And just look what they're getting ...
#6. The Same Picture of Dave Coulier Every Day
Last week, the gossip site Gawker announced the most exciting news to come out of Canada since the Bering land bridge closed up: Somali drug dealers possess a video of the mayor of Toronto smoking crack, glass pipe and all. Not snorting coke off of a stripper's boobs like your run-of-the-mill high-functioning degenerate -- he was straight up smoking crack, the drug of choice for anyone three steps away from sleeping in a dumpster for shelter.
Suddenly America discovered that our sleepy neighbor to the north has been holding out on us. Not only did Toronto knowingly elect a morbidly obese chronic substance abuser for mayor, but this guy has been Chris Farleying it up for years. We've just been too caught up in our own screwed up politicians to notice. So here's the question everyone is asking: How did this guy become top Toronto dog in the first place?
The answer is simple. Rob Ford might just be the greatest politician of all time.
Rene Johnston / Toronto Star / Getty
They call him the white Canadian Biggie Smalls.