You know those scenes in movies when a car just lightly bumps into something and instantly bursts into flames? (Of course you do, they're the reason cinema was invented.) This sort of unassuming carnage never happens in real life ... and by "never" we mean "several times in the past few months alone, somehow." Here are four people whose lives suddenly turned into a stunt from a ridiculous Die Hard sequel.
#4. Shed Blows Up ... Because of Cow Farts
Cow farts are serious business. These delicate grass munchers are believed to emit up to 500 liters of methane gas every single day. But, besides making entire meadows smell like college dorm rooms on taco night, what can that do? Plenty, it turns out: In January, a cow shed in the German town of Rasdorf filled with so much methane gas from all of the burping and farting cows that, when a static electric charge came in contact with the noxious fumes of the bodacious bovines, the place exploded into giant flashes of smelly flames.
"Sweet, I can let 'em rip and no one will notice." -every single person in this picture
We are currently in a golden age of television, with popular shows like Breaking Bad and Game of Thrones enjoying more fan devotion than most big-budget movies could ever dream of (in fairness, "middle-aged drug dealer" doesn't exactly scream "box office champion").
Unfortunately, some of us obsess over these shows a little too much, resulting in bizarre trends that seem to indicate that people become less able to tell the difference between fiction and reality after an entire weekend of binge-watching serialized dramas on Netflix.
#4. Breaking Bad Is Getting People Hooked on Blue Meth
Recently, trend-savvy meth barons in New Mexico have begun selling blue-tinted crystals in the Four Corners region, just like murderous television antihero Walter White from Breaking Bad. Because if drug dealing can't be fun, then what's the point?
However, despite the added impulse-buy factor of tying the product in with a popular TV show, it turns out that smoking blue meth is actually really bad for you. The chemicals in the blue dye are extremely harmful, which is a knowledge bomb that caught the normally health-conscious community of toxin-peddling meth addicts completely off guard.
"We need to start labeling this shit. I need to know what's going in my temple."
Remember, each of us is walking on the remains (and ghosts!) of billions of formerly living things right now. (Plankton ghosts!) That's just the circle of life, and we should all be glad that we don't have to swim through the rotting corpses of our ancestors just to get to work every day. That said, it's easy to forget that our planet has a few mysteries up its subterranean sleeves that it's ready to pull out when we least expect it.
#4. Schools Keep Finding Mass Graves
The bigwigs at University of Mississippi Medical Center were getting ready to start building a new parking lot when some tests (and presumably local fortune tellers) delivered a nasty surprise: The ground under the future lot held something like 1,000 dead bodies. The deceased are believed to be former inmates of the long-gone Mississippi State Lunatic Asylum, because sometimes B-horror movies get things right.
It's unclear whether officials balked at the estimated $3 million required to rebury the bodies or if Ole Miss Movie Night had recently screened Poltergeist, but the school eventually decided to relocate the parking garage to next to the dental school ... which may contain bodies of former slaves and Civil War soldiers.
-- and slowly the camera pans away to reveal that all of Mississippi is actually a burial ground.
No one likes a jerk, everyone loves schadenfreude, and it's really satisfying when those two things dovetail into a steaming pile of karmic justice. So sit back, relax, and behold some recent situations where dickheads got the same crap they feed everyone else shoveled back to them.
#4. Politician Who Campaigned for Internet Censorship Has Site Censored
In most of the free world, you can look at all the porn you want, whenever you want. (In fact, some of you are reading this while you wait for your porn to load.) But in the U.K., recent laws require all Internet service providers to put in a smut filter, turned on by default, thanks to the efforts of a group of concerned politicians who bugged everyone about this for years. Politicians like conservative Member of Parliament Claire Perry, whose own website was immediately blocked as soon as the porn filters were turned on.
Look at all that bush. Disgusting.