Lazy webmasters have been stealing images off the Internet since before Google Image search was invented. You need a generic picture of a guy in a lab coat, you just search "guy in lab coat" and grab the first one you see. Of course, if you don't take a few minutes to at least figure out who's in the image you just borrowed, this can lead to all sorts of unintentional hilarity and/or horror. Especially if you're using the image to make a political point.
#4. A Christian Book About Traditional Families Accidentally Uses an Image from Modern Family
When looking for a good image to place on the front of his new book about the biblical way to raise children (which we're assuming involves making them wander around the desert), evangelical preacher Doug Sehorne did a quick Internet search and thought this one looked good:
Doug Sehorne via gawker.com
The cover took dozens upon dozens of man-seconds to design.
So you wait for a year for the new season of Mad Men, but when you turn to AMC, you get a message saying the channel has been blacked out because it's having a fight with Dish Network. Or maybe one day this week you, naked and unemployed, tuned in to The Price Is Right to get your Plinko fix, and found there's nothing there but static, because Time Warner Cable is in some kind of beef with CBS.
Then you realize this bullshit is happening constantly now. But why?
#4. There Are Sleazy Conflicts of Interest Everywhere
So why would CBS and Time Warner Cable be fighting? Can CBS really be demanding too much money to carry nine different iterations of CSI? Well, the answer might have something to do with the fact that CBS owns Showtime, and Time Warner wants to drop Showtime from its bundle. Why would Time Warner want to do such a thing? Because they own Showtime's leading competitor in Sinbad standup specials and softcore pornography: HBO. Which basically makes this the equivalent of a convenience store owned by Coke negotiating prices with Pepsi.
Comstock Images/Comstock/Getty Images
Like Game of Thrones, but the backstabbing is figurative and the boobs on display are executives.
If you give the news a casual glance, the big picture tends to be fairly goddamn dreadful. After all, news outlets rely on readers coming back day after day to see which one of the planet's 7 billion people decided to go insane the day before.
But amid the horde of world-ending dipshits hogging the headlines, there are those kindly folks out there who don't cause us to pray for Ragnarok on a daily basis. Who are we talking about?
#4. Burglars Return Loot After Realizing They Stole from a Charity
This past July, burglars broke into the offices of California's San Bernardino County Sexual Assault Services and stole thousands of dollars' worth of computers and office supplies (and probably several pamphlets about avoiding men exactly like themselves).
Hemera Technologies/AbleStock.com/Getty Images
"Just because we take what we want from someone, without their consent, doesn't mean you can compar- oh, right."
Geek dads are a relatively recent development: 50 years ago, fathers didn't care about collecting comics or playing video games, they cared about buying the perfect cardigan and drinking highballs in the family station wagon. Now, there's a whole generation of grown-up nerds who finally have the money and the authority to build giant toys for themselves ... um, we mean their kids. Yep, the following geek wet dreams were tooootally made with children in mind.
#4. Dad Builds Luxury Sports Cars for His Daughter
When Stuart Burr, an auto mechanic from England, noticed that his little daughter Scarlett was starting to show an interest in cars, he decided to encourage that interest and made her a little car she could ride in. And then another. And then another. Long story short, by now Scarlett has her own fully functional Ferrari 250 GTO ... at age 7.
Meanwhile, you can't get a loan for a Kia without two co-signers.