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October 16, 2013

5 Animals People Found In Insanely Random Places

By XJ Selman | 298,402 Views

We tend to forget that humans are but a fraction of a natural world that encompasses millions of other species. And thanks to our increasingly urbanized civilization, a lot of us get super excited when we spot animals in the wild -- and we downright lose our shit when they're discovered in a place we simply don't anticipate them to be.

Which creatures are we referring to? Well ...

#5. Mountain Octopus

Travelers walking up England's highest mountain, Scafell Pike, were treated to an unusual travel buddy -- an 8-inch octopus, lying on a rock a mere 10 meters from the mountain's summit.

Dave Ascough
"If you Brits can chill in our gardens, why can't we hang on your mountains?"

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October 15, 2013

4 Court Cases That Are Basically Sitcom Plots

By David Christopher Bell | 223,973 Views

Whether we like it or not, we've all had our worldview at least somewhat warped by sitcoms. Many of us were disappointed when we first learned that you can't rent a giant apartment on a slacker's salary, or that foreigners aren't always wacky and mustachioed.

And apparently one of the professions most profoundly influenced by sitcoms is that of the judicial variety, as the following recent court rulings seem to be straight out of some zany Friday night lineup. All that's missing is the Urkel cameos.

#4. Divorced Couple Is Forced to Literally Split the House

Your standard sitcom house consists of two stories, an attic or basement, and the obligatory awkward living situation, such as bunking with your eccentric Mediterranean cousin or a cat-eating visitor from outer space. For one ex-husband and wife in Spain, that awkward housemate ended up being each other, as a judge (no doubt inspired by Yo Amo a Lucy reruns) has ordered them to literally split their house in half.

Photos.com
"If hijinks fail to ensue within a period of 90 days, you will be subject to a 4,000 euro fine."

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October 14, 2013

The 8 Most Hilarious Ways GPS Has Screwed People Over

By XJ Selman | 319,820 Views

We tend to rely on GPS technology a little too much, particularly while driving through an unfamiliar area looking for a friend and/or drug dealer's house. The more advanced GPS technology becomes, the easier it is for us to forget that, due to programming errors or outdated source maps, GPS routes are often utterly incorrect to the point of inflicting personal catastrophe.

#8. GPS Tells Woman to Drive Car onto Railroad Tracks, So She Does

A Boston woman was driving along the road with her two children one night when she made a right turn directly onto a railroad track at the direction of her GPS, because you don't argue with your robot overlords when they're commanding you on your minivan journey. When she realized she couldn't steer her car off the tracks, she simply took her children and abandoned the vehicle, which was eventually hit by a train.

Transit Police
Unfortunately, her policy didn't cover "act of God- damn, what the fuck is wrong with you?"

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October 13, 2013

5 Insane Pieces of NFL Fan Art Made by the Internet

By Cyriaque Lamar | 185,761 Views

Yes, "The Super Bowl Shuffle" is equal to nine Renoirs stapled together, but let's be honest -- there's not a lot of refined artwork inspired by football. Nowhere in the Louvre hangs a tasteful watercolor of John Madden in nude repose, and that's just crazy.

EA Sports
Also, this photo is 100 percent better if you imagine that he's not wearing pants.

Still, we had a sneaking suspicion that there were talented artists out there blending the raw athleticism of the gridiron with the snooty-tootiness of fine art. To investigate, Cracked went to the popular portfolio website deviantART and searched for a single word: "NFL."

We regretted this decision immediately. Behold our chilling findings, as our sanity will not allow us to carry this burden alone.

#5. NFL Mascot Furry Drawings

Some of you are now doubtless asking, "Aren't most NFL mascots technically furries?" We'll give you that. But there's a stark difference between the goggle-eyed antics of the Atlanta Falcons' mascot, Freddie, and a grown man transforming into Freddie while crying.

Wiki, Pheagle-Adler
"Nobody does this to Sourdough Sam," realized Freddie, as the nausea engulfed him.