In an effort to answer the burning question that nobody asked, PornHub recently released the top three most searched for words state to state in the U.S. The results have been enlightening, yet horrifying.
#7. Montana and Oklahoma Are the Only States That Love the Butt
Big surprise all around when it came to the word "anal" -- it's something that apparently the kids just aren't into anymore! Only two states included it in their top three porn searches.
Sir Mix-A-Lot is just one man.
Celebrity branding is nothing new -- get a reasonably famous person to attach their name to a product, and suddenly that $10 toaster becomes Malcolm-Jamal Warner's Bread-Heating Machine for $39.95. Recently, however, it seems to be getting a little out of hand, and we're seeing things like ...
#4. Kanye West's $120 White T-shirt
For $120, you can own a plain white T-shirt "designed" by Kanye West, because the limit of his design prowess seems to be looking at a Hanes catalog and saying, "Just make that, only for $120 and with my name on it." It doesn't grant wishes or give you super rapping powers, although it does imbue you with the ability to instantly regret its purchase.
The fact that "sold out" is referring to the shirt's stock, rather than creator, makes us want to cry.
Unless you remember the War of 1812 in vivid detail, you've probably never sat through an episode of The 700 Club. For those of you not between the ages of "get off my lawn" and "resurrected pharaoh," The 700 Club is a syndicated TV show that's been on the air since 1966. The program is usually hosted by 83-year-old televangelist, 1988 presidential candidate, noted Lich King Pat Robertson.
Most of what happens on The 700 Club doesn't make for riveting television -- it's just a talk show with a fundamentalist Christian slant that lost its cultural cachet years ago. But boy howdy, does the media love itself some motherfucking 700 Club.
Christian Broadcasting Network
You can add this to Geraldo and Donald Trump under "'80s icons the media mistakenly think people still listen to."
The 1990s were a simpler time when Tim Burton still made movies people wanted to see and the entire staff at Buzzfeed was just graduating middle school. It's also the new vein for nostalgic bullshit, as everything from acid-washed jeans to jelly shoes is now making a terrible comeback.And thanks to our reflective longing it appears that the very same headlines stored in that dusty attic copy of Sky Magazine are making yet another go-around like we've all stepped into that time machine Urkel invented to get rich in the '70s.
We're feeling the sudden urge to freebase a pair of hammer pants.