Nature cannot be trusted. But if you think you're safe inside on the Internet, think again, because these animals will come for you in your own home.
Rico the Chihuahua was out on the patio when a hawk swooped in and started violently pecking his tiny head, because literally the only purpose purse-sized dogs serve is to be food for sky-blazing ambush predators of terrifying majesty. Rico's 74-year-old owner, Margaret, managed to grab the defenseless dog away from the hawk's beating wings of fury and run inside. But the bird followed them into the house, chasing the dog through the front room and into the kitchen and pinning it down again.
We'd have just adopted the hawk and considered ourselves lucky for the upgrade.
The nice thing about the 1950s was that everyone had a can-do attitude. Unfortunately, that kind of plucky optimism lends itself to dangerous situations, like whatever was going on with Korea and these ridiculously lethal do-it-yourself projects. We're lucky the Baby Boomers survived infancy to give birth to the rest of us, because their parents seemed hell-bent on killing them.
#3. Build Your Own Water Murder Devices
From entitled douchebags looking to hook up to a game show based on musical chairs, April is the kind of month that lets us know exactly what the television programmers of the world think of us. The short answer: They hate us. So much.
Here are the four least anticipated television shows of April 2013.
Bad news, horse and food fans -- European burger processing plants have been combining your two favorite things and calling it "beef." And don't start bragging about your superior beef industry, America -- despite increased scrutiny over imported beef, it is still entirely possible for a dead horse to sneak into your hamburger at some point, and when it does, it will bring a world-ending zombie outbreak with it.
What's that? You have no idea how horse meat and a zombie wasteland could possibly be related? Well, keep reading.
Maybe keep a shotgun nearby, just in case.