We'd like to do an experiment in honor of April Fool's Day. The information in the below infographic is 100 percent false, and laughably so. The idea is for you to share said infographic on Facebook/Tumblr/Twitter/etc. and see which of your friends immediately share it with the world without a second thought, versus the ones who actually take a few seconds to either A) Google the information to see if any of it is true or B) simply type in the source URL at the bottom, which would lead them here, and to this explanation.
As we've seen with the recent clusterfuck of Malaysia Flight 370 headlines, the top priority of the news these days is less "give the news" and more "remorselessly splay every batshit ludicrous story until people catch on." Luckily, we're here to accelerate that process with our customary report of the most ridiculous recent non-headlines everyone fell for. Like ...
#4. Liam Neeson Didn't Go All Taken to Save a Dog
Here's a little something from the "shit we wish was true" department:
He just appears whenever teens are doing something wrong, like a punching man's G.I. Joe PSA.
This year, fans of the young adult dystopian film genre will have four different movies from four different franchises playing in theaters. Besides the second Hunger Games, there's Divergent, Maze Runner, and The Giver, all based on novels from the same section of your local Books-A-Million. But don't worry if you can't afford to watch all of them -- if you've seen one, you can guess how the others go.
We're not kidding. Here are some weirdly specific things all these movies decided to include.
#4. Every Movie Begins With Youngsters in Drab Clothing Riding Trains
Apart from the love triangles and the overabundance of grayscale, the first surefire sign that you're about to watch YA dystopian sci-fi is to have a bunch of forlorn-looking teens standing around, all wearing the same grim clothes.
Summit Entertainment, Lionsgate Films, The Weinstein Company, 20th Century Fox
Is there a costume designer strike we don't know about?
The explosive trailers and teasers for the upcoming American Godzilla redo are out! And while they do look impressive, anyone old enough to remember the gee-whiz preview for 1998's Godzilla knows that sometimes Hollywood cruelly and arbitrarily disguises crotch-punches as feature films. So that's why we're devoting the next 700 words to one question: WILL IT BE TERRIBLE?
#4. The Script = A Game of Hot Potato
Whereas the 1954 Godzilla had a simple formula (nuclear bomb + giant prehistoric reptile whose entire existence flies in the face of the fossil record, physics), the 2014 Godzilla was birthed through a series of puffs and passes from one screenwriter to the next.
It all started with Dave Callaham, whose claims to fame are The Expendables and that godawful Doom adaptation. After Callaham was bunted off, Man of Steel director David Goyer was brought on for a rewrite that we assume involved a gritty dissection of Godzilla's shitty childhood. After that they gave it to some dude named Max Borenstein, then Iron Man 3 writer Drew Pearce, and finally Shawshank Redemption director Frank Darabont for a spit shine.
No word on whether Darabont kept the climatic third-act one-on-one game against Sir Charles.