Quick Fixes


August 19, 2014

4 Gaza Propaganda Tactics Ripped Off From Internet Trolls

By XJ Selman | 201,819 Views

Whenever there's a big, heavy, controversial world situation like the current Israel/Palestine conflict, you'll see two types of posts on your social media feeds: respectful, informed opinions and inflammatory, 90-percent-made-up crap posted by teenagers and/or idiots. Since the second kind of posts get way more traction than the first kind, the official propaganda channels for both Israel and Palestine have embraced the online stupidity -- thus giving birth to the era of state-sanctioned Facebook flame wars.

So the next time you see an extremely dumb meme about this very serious topic, bear in mind that there's a realistic chance that the actual governments for those countries came up with it. Don't believe us? Check out the stuff they (and their supporters) have come up with so far:

#4. Israel Has a War Room of Social Media Whiz Kids

Like it or unlike it, memes are the universal language of the 21st century. There's just something about the GIANT TEXT - PICTURE - GIANT TEXT template that speaks to our very souls, as if the meme format created an entirely new plane of existence that links us all at the lowest common denominator, like a communal shitting trench. And Israel knows this -- control the memes and you control the world -- which is why this war and all future wars will now have a scene such as this:

IDC Herzliya
"Gentlemen, you can't troll in here! This is the Meme Room!"


August 17, 2014

How One Terrible Movie Ruined Hollywood

By David Wong, Tom Reimann | 302,908 Views

This Week in WTF Pop Culture History: Waterworld teaches Hollywood how to make money off of big-budget garbage.

We don't know if you've noticed, but all at once, audiences have gotten sick of Hollywood's shit -- this summer's box office is down almost 20 percent, which is a shocking number considering ticket prices are higher than ever (including the absurd premium they still charge for 3D). No movie this year made $300 million in the USA, whereas last year Iron Man 3 did over $400 million (hell, in 2012, The Avengers did an astonishing $623 million). The conventional wisdom was that while audiences love to bitch about sequels, reboots, and CGI garbage, they'll still pay to go see it. But we're finally seeing the bubble burst.

In America, anyway. What does this have to do with Waterworld? Allow us to explain.


August 16, 2014

6 BS Stories That Fooled You On Facebook: Bear Hates Bieber

By David Christopher Bell | 310,431 Views

We get it, Internet: People are busy. Between sharing whatever George Takei('s social media manager) just found on Reddit and torrenting terabytes of fan-made Hanna-Barbera porn, there's just not enough hours in the day to fact check every little thing we get ridiculously up in arms about online. That's why we've created this handy forever-part series devoted to sifting out the bullshit for you -- all we ask in return is the right to emanate the smug satisfaction that comes with it. You dopes.

#6. The "Hero" Who Bought Every Pie at Burger King Probably Saw It on 30 Rock

Everyone loves a good karmic revenge story, even if the karma involved is actually just a person being a dick. For example, you probably got this one proudly splayed across your Facebook page several times over last weekend, along with the front pages of E!, Digital Times, Gawker, NY Daily News, Uproxx, MSN, and Gothamist, among others:



Usually, if you buy 23 of anything at Burger King, you just spite yourself.


August 15, 2014

5 News Stories That Are the First Minutes of a Horror Film

By XJ Selman | 344,859 Views

If you're like us, you probably take it for granted that each day is going to be pretty much like the one before. You wake up, go to work, convince your boss you're worth the buckets of gravy you make as your salary every week, go home, and start over. Now imagine that when you wake up tomorrow, your Dilbertesque routine is interrupted by the constant humming of a theremin, and no matter where you stand, you always seem to be under the shadow of something ominous.

You'd probably start to imagine you're in the beginning scenes of a sci-fi thriller. And if you live in any of the places where these real-world stories are happening as we speak, you probably are.

#5. Mysterious Giant Holes Are Popping Up in Siberia

Recently Siberia -- which is like Russia, but without Putin running the show -- was attacked by several invisible missiles ... or so you'd guess, because that would be one of the saner explanations for this:

We stand by our "Horny Galactus" theory.