Quick Fixes

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March 15, 2014

5 Ridiculous Ways Marketers Are Shoving Ads Into Reality

By XJ Selman | 187,201 Views

We've gotten pretty good at ignoring commercials, so companies have been forced to come up with new ways to advertise their products that literally challenge us not to notice them. This is why we now live in a world where an epic fantasy television show is releasing a tie-in rap CD and a man in a robot costume patrols train cars for serial molesters.

#5. RoboCop Keeps Japan's Trains Free of Perverts

To coincide with the March release of the new RoboCop movie in Japan, the Japanese police and the West Japan Railway Company joined forces with a man in a RoboCop outfit in a PSA to simultaneously promote the film and combat the growing epidemic of marauding railway gropers. Behold:

One can only assume authorities reached this decision after reviewing RoboCop's decorated history of dealing with sex criminals.

Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer
In their version, the detached penis sprouts tentacles and grows 150 feet, forcing Murphy to change to MEGAROBO! mode.

Article

March 14, 2014

4 Internal Memos That Revealed Weirdly Embarrassing Problems

By XJ Selman | 328,356 Views

Internal memos are like the family secrets of bureaucracies. Some are boring and tame, and others -- like if your parents share a grandparent -- should never see the light of day. The following memos are on the incest side of the embarrassment scale.

#4. PayPal Employees Want Nothing to do With PayPal

Whether you use it or not, we can all probably agree that PayPal has made buying sex toys and porn subscriptions without credit cards a tiny bit simpler, which by itself sort of justifies PayPal's existence. Unfortunately, the people who work there don't agree. In February, the president of PayPal sent an alarming internal memo to all his San Jose employees chastising them for not being PayPally enough.

LittleBee80/iStock/Getty Images
"You want us to start locking our accounts for no reason whatsoever?"

Article

March 13, 2014

4 Ridiculous Ways People Are Trying to Make Weed Upscale

By Kathy Benjamin | 232,994 Views

As soon as something taboo goes mainstream, businesses will find a way to attract the money of your Aunt Doris. And with the legalization of marijuana building momentum, the future of pot smoking is going to be a lot more mom-and-pop friendly than you could ever imagine. What the hell are we talking about?

#4. Bed-and-Breakfasts ... ON WEED

B&Bs are those adorable little inns where your parents go on vacation when they want to totally do it. And a B&B in Denver called Get High Hideaways is now charging $200 a night in the hopes of attracting high-end clientele whose idea of a good time is contemplating infinity while staring at doilies and Hummel figurines for hours on end.

Matthew Staver/The New York Times
Just imagine this as a GIF.

Article

March 12, 2014

4 Fake News Stories That Made the Media Look Like Dumbasses

By David Christopher Bell | 268,503 Views

In the fast-paced world of today, not all of us have the time to actually "read" news articles beyond the headline, just like not all journalists have the time to "check their sources" or "give a shit about the fake stories they're spreading." Fortunately, we've sort of taken it upon ourselves to become the Batman of news -- hiding in the shadows, cleaning up the Internet one hyperbolic story at a time, all while wearing our undies on the outside.

#4. Kurt Cobain's "Old Roommate" Isn't Selling His Stuff on Craigslist

Twenty years after Kurt Cobain's death, even the city that once arrested the guy for vandalism is trying to cash in on his memory by erecting a tourist-bait statue of him crying. That's why it didn't seem too far-fetched when the following headline popped up everywhere:

uproxx.com
"Including torn jeans, a box that looks kind of like a heart, and Krist Novoselic."