As America basks in the glory of Michael Phelps' ascent to Olympic dominance, it's important to not let our current triumph fool us into believing that we're infallible. Swimming just isn't as easy as the Phelpses of the world make it out to be. To prove that, let's take a look back on a now forgotten aquatic tragedy.
Like anyone else, we've been keeping our eyes on all of the breathtaking and inspiring images coming out of the 2012 Olympic Games in London. As we've been going through these soon to be iconic images, we couldn't help but notice a recurring theme. A lot of the pictures just kind of look like porn. For example ...
#6. A Touching Water Polo Moment
Taxidermy has been around in some form or another since mankind's hunter-gatherer days. From the mangy dioramas at the natural history museum to the unfortunate duck on your uncle's wall, the craft is practiced by both the fishhook-in-the-baseball-cap segment of society and highfalutin purveyors of high fashion. It requires expertise in a variety of areas to get it right. A working knowledge of sculpture and painting, as well as tanning and anatomy, are a must. Otherwise, this happens:
The music industry is full of people who think they can predict what songs will be popular with any given group. It's usually just the cocaine talking, because the truth is, you can never really be sure what's going to resonate with people. We know that to be true, because we absolutely refuse to believe anybody saw these hits coming ...
#4. Jazz Was Huge in Nazi Germany
Why would anyone be surprised that jazz music caught on in Germany in the late 1930s/early 1940s? Because, much like dancing in the universe Kevin Bacon occupied in the movie Footloose, jazz music was illegal in Nazi Germany, with some enthusiasts even being jailed well into the Cold War years. But, again, just like Kevin Bacon was not going to let John Lithgow keep him from fight dancing in desolate Midwestern barns, so too would the Germans not allow Hitler to keep them from listening to a bunch of opium-smoking beatniks playing the same jazz scale for 45 solid minutes, risking arrest and persecution just to get a little bit of jazz in their lives.
#3. The Bob the Builder Theme Song Was a Smash Hit Single in Australia