Traditionally, living in a car is a lifestyle that only serial killers and mystery-solving college dropouts enjoy. But, if your blood type is money and you dream of having to spend every night looking for a place to park your house, these four trailers are the answer you've been searching for, and without exception they are all infinitely nicer than the one-bedroom carpet stain the rest of us cry ourselves to sleep in.
#4. Volkner Performance Bus
Priced at a mere $1.9 million, the Volkner Mobil Performance Bus combines all of the comforts of palatial luxury with the joy of owning a condo that can be stolen by a crackhead with a brick. This 40-foot-long impulse purchase of a first-round NBA draft pick features leather sofas, a home theater entertainment system and a full-size kitchen, because for some reason they figured that a person buying this bus would be interested in preparing their own meals. It even has a secret compartment underneath to store a sports car, because the Volkner designers evidently got all of their engineering textbooks from a pile of G.I. Joes at a Wayne Manor garage sale.
"If you're going to have a big obnoxious car, why not have it carry a little obnoxious car?"
Races are supposed to be fun (we guess), or at the very least they aren't supposed to kill you, so you're free to have fun after completing them. These races, however, make no such promises in either department.
#5. Tough Mudder
Tough Mudder is a 10- to 12-mile obstacle course designed by the British Special Forces for the sole purpose of beating your ass for charity. The obstacles can vary from location to location (our favorite is the "turd's nest," which we assume refers to when a McDonald's employee loses her hair weave in the toilet), but some of the standard ones include running through fire:
Falling off of greased monkey bars into freezing water:
Somehow, this is a contest.
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Prisoners improvising weapons out of everyday objects like sociopathic MacGyvers are a staple of every movie that takes place inside a prison. However, real inmates aren't limited to just the sharpened toothbrushes and Nicolas Cage fleshmasks Hollywood gives them credit for.
#9. Melted Chocolate
Some prisoners melt down chocolate bars and throw the boiling hot confection over their enemies, which sticks like napalm and causes severe burns. We figure this must have been an idea the killer from Se7en kicked around during his gluttony planning phase.
At least you'll be a delicious burn victim.