Quick Fixes


August 20, 2012

When Stuffed Animals Attack

By Karl Smallwood | 96,669 Views

If television is to be believed, and it always is, being a police officer or firefighter is a taxing job. Not only do you have to rid the city of danger, but you have to do it while shouldering the burden of a drinking problem and keeping up an Olympic athlete's physique (unless you're the fat one with the mustache). Maintaining that kind of workload takes ninjalike concentration if the job is to be done safely and effectively. That's why it's with much uneasiness that we report on a plague of petty distraction that's overtaking the emergency response community -- stuffed animals.


The threat to public safety you're looking at is a horse. Not a real horse, of course. It's a stuffed horse. Somehow, the good people of Orlando, Florida, saw this shady character just hanging out and looking like trouble and decided they should act. Police were notified, plans were drawn up, tax dollars were allocated and then this happened ...


August 18, 2012

8 Ways Your Facebook Profile is Like a Serial Killer's Lair

By Dan Markowitz | 256,359 Views


August 17, 2012

4 Reasons Gremlins Are the Deadliest Movie Monster Ever

By Michael Garowee | 231,631 Views

Mogwai were introduced to the world by way of the stone-cold classic 1984 horror/comedy Gremlins. They were the adorable little balls of fur who swallowed the soul of Howie Mandel and, through some kind of sorcery, used it to be funny and awesome.

The voice of Bobby wasn't all there was to know about Mogwai, though. They had some very specific rules of care and handling that, if not followed, produced this ...

That's a Gremlin, and it will tear your shit up. In the movie, their path of death and destruction is mostly limited to one town. But a simple analysis of what we know about Mogwai and their more destructive offspring leads us to believe that, if we were living in that alternate version of the world where Mogwai exist, the Gremlins would have destroyed us all a very long time ago. Here's why ...


August 16, 2012

5 Hilarious Highlights from the FBI Gang Name Database

By Ajay Kumar | 308,815 Views

We're sure most of you already keep abreast of the latest Juggalo news, so you don't need us to tell you, but for those of you not in the know, here goes: The Insane Clown Posse is suing the FBI. Or at least they've announced plans to sue the FBI. What's tracking their wacky clown makeup with such litigious tears? Turns out the feds keep a state-by-state database of known gangs and, for some reason, the Juggalos made the list.

For some reason.

Seeing fans of a band whose trademark fashion statement is clown makeup on a list of known gangs was definitely a surprise, but the fun doesn't end there.