Horror is the only genre of film that produces unapologetically terrible movies that people willingly go to see. As long as the body count is high and entertaining, we will happily shell out ten bucks to sit through films whose reviews are rated on a scale of varying degrees of personal tragedy as opposed to the traditional one to five stars. However, filmmakers' pursuit of quirky, attention-getting "grabber" titles to make their films stand out amid the sea of bullshit on video store shelves has resulted in some utterly bizarre subgenres of horror that do their very best to defy explanation.
#5. Santa Claus Kills People
Many of Grimm's fairy tales have been lightened up for modern children. However, some of them are beyond any hope, and should only be read to children you hate.
All of Bluebeard's previous wives have died under sparsely detailed circumstances shrouded in mystery, although he has never been asked to produce either a body or an explanation, because police work at that time typically required crimes to be committed within a constable's field of vision. Somehow, Bluebeard convinces another woman to marry him and takes her back to his castle before immediately announcing that he has to go away for a while, presumably holding a shopping list reading "lotion, catgut, lipstick, 'Goodbye Horses.'"
Bluebeard, the first and least creepy pickup artist.
We Americans love to talk about our wars. We love learning about them, we love making movies about them and we really, really love pretending to punch Hitler in the face. It's why we spend half our time claiming that our political opponents are Nazis; our generation missed out on the chance to go after the real thing.
Unfortunately, war is an incredibly complex, ever-changing topic, and understanding military history is both time-consuming and very, very hard work. So we're going to explain it in terms most anyone can understand: ex-girlfriends.
#7. The American Revolution