The media can turn anything into a full-blown panic these days. Give them a couple of somewhat related stories and a few days to "report the news" and people will be losing their shit in no time at all. Like when the news convinced everyone that sharks were on the verge of sprouting legs and attacking us in our homes when, in fact, shark attacks were actually way down. Or all of the reports of bath-salt-based zombie outbreaks that have flooded the news recently.
We're not shocked when that happens. Quite the opposite, really. We're more shocked that it doesn't happen more often because, realistically, you can make just about anything into an epidemic if you try hard enough.
Let's take killer urinals, for example ...
Plenty of sites will tell you about all of the great albums that you should be formulating a plan to illicitly download without your Internet service provider finding out and telling the RIAA this week. But what about the albums you should avoid? Who speaks to those consumers who just wander into a record store, randomly grab a stack of CDs and bolt out the door with no consideration for what they're purchasing?
Well, for one thing, those people probably don't exist. But if they did, here are the albums they should make a conscious effort to avoid this week.
#4. Dirty Projectors -- Swing Lo Magellan
Listen, I'm not trying to be controversial here. I know Dirty Projectors is a hot band with the indie-rock types and that this album, the followup to 2009's Bitte Orca, is one that a lot of people really are looking forward to. Trust me, I respect that. So much so, in fact, that it's only with the utmost respect that I say the following: Dirty Projectors' music is some hipster bullshit.
Everybody knows about Saved by the Bell. Even if you weren't alive to experience the magic firsthand, you've undoubtedly heard tales of one of the greatest Saturday morning programs of all time from those who were lucky enough to be there.
What you might not know is that before he was on Saved by the Bell, Zack Morris, the hero of the show, was on a somewhat similar show called Good Morning, Miss Bliss (as were Screech, Lisa and Mr. Belding).
Wikipedia has become an irreplaceable resource for anyone looking to find just enough possibly factual information to fake their way through a conversation about any given topic. But the problem with a massive encyclopedia that can be edited by anyone is that, well, it can be edited by anyone. And clearly, some people just have no clue what the word "edit" even means.
Here are six needlessly detailed Wikipedia entries ...
#6. Henry VI, Part 3
Word Count: 24,053
What You Could Be Doing Instead: For a mere 1,774 words more, you could just read the damn play.
Most Useless Section: The "Language" section, a nearly 2,000-word behemoth wall of text that breaks the play down in language normally reserved for trying to explain the importance of a holding penalty late in the fourth quarter of a Monday Night Football game to a person who doesn't watch sports.
Wikipedia's version of the diaries from the movie Se7en.
Read It Here: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Henry_VI,_Part_3