Quick Fixes


October 04, 2012

4 Mysterious Song Titles With Perfectly Stupid Explanations

By Mike Floorwalker | 374,274 Views

Sometimes a snappy title can be the difference between a hit song and a classic. "Stairway to Heaven" might not have been quite as memorable if it had been titled "Ed's Garage," for example.

Often it seems like musicians just pulled a cool combination of words out of a hat, and that's fine -- artists are allowed to be abstract and weird. It just kind of blows when you find out that the cool combination of words actually does mean something, and it is something really simple ... or even just kind of stupid.

#4. "Hair of the Dog" by Nazareth

If you don't think you've ever heard this song, it's only because you've always thought it was called, "Now you're messin' with a SON OF A BITCH!!!"

And yes, "Son of a Bitch" was Nazareth's intended title for both the song and the album. The record company said (fuck) no, so they just made a bad pun on their title. "Hair (Heir) of the Dog." Get it?


October 03, 2012

Election's Top Issue: Whether or Not to Eat Wang-Shaped Food

By Adam Tod Brown | 98,468 Views

Mitt Romney just made the shrewdest move of the entire campaign so far. You probably heard about his highly publicized trip to a Chipotle, where he took the kind of picture that wins our hearts, if not elections ...

Yep, that's a Chipotle!

But in the arms-race-like frenzy to win the "Crazy-Eyed Chipotle Guy" meme ...

The winner, for the record.

... people seem to have missed the strategic masterstroke found in this quote from Romney:

"I usually get the burrito. I think I'll go for the bowl today. That's a good idea."

Holy shit, Mitt, stop being modest. That's not a "good" idea, it's a great idea. In fact, it's an idea that helped Mitt Romney just narrowly avoid a campaign trail disaster that has befallen so many politicians before. We're speaking, of course, about eating food that kind of looks like a dick.

For example, Barack Obama eats more hot dogs ...


... than any public figure since Babe Ruth ...



October 02, 2012

If Mitt Romney Had a Kickstarter

By Tom Reimann, Logan Trent | 103,735 Views


October 01, 2012

Why Hogwarts Was All in Harry's Head: A Conspiracy Theory

By Karl Smallwood | 589,852 Views

"It was all in his head" is one of the most cliched and disappointing endings a movie or series can possibly have. So it borders on surprising that J.K. Rowling never leaned on this tired twist in her beloved Harry Potter series. Or did she? Our evidence points to yes. Here's why ...

#4. He Was an Abused Child

Harry Potter is described as being small and skinny on account of being deprived of food. He also lives in a tiny cupboard underneath the stairs. To get any closer to the textbook definition of child abuse, you'd have to start punching kids yourself.

Harry is checked on by secret owl social workers.

Also, Harry's aunt and uncle literally refuse to acknowledge him as a human being for most of his childhood. That's emotional neglect, which is good enough for jail time in most states. Even if 99 percent of what they say is stupid, you still can't just pretend your kids don't exist without the authorities intervening at some point.