Bacon is arguably the most cherished food in America (try to name a single entree in which bacon has never made a guest appearance). Bacon's popularity has led to several crossover products that are not food, and without exception, all of these products are terrible.
#7. Bacon Bandages
For just $5, you can buy a tin of bacon-shaped bandages to stick on your face wounds and make absolutely certain that no one will come anywhere near you for fear of contracting a flesh-eating virus. We assume the free prize is E. coli.
WARNING: THE FOLLOWING VIDEO CONTAINS EXTREME GRAPHIC IMAGES. PLEASE TAKE A MOMENT TO STEEL YOURSELF.
Are you ready? Because it's time to talk about piracy. Here's an extremely revealing list of the most-pirated TV shows of the last year. That's important; we'll come back to it in a moment. Now watch this:
For those of you too scared to watch the video, it's an announcement of something that will surely be standard practice in Hollywood within five years: A full month before it hits theaters, you can instantly download the "Best Horror Film of the Year," John Dies at the End (yes, based on the novel I wrote, motherfucker), on Amazon Instant Video, iTunes, the PlayStation Network, Xbox 360's Zune service, and pretty much any other on-demand streaming service out there. Soon, this Day One Downloading will be the way it's going to work for all movies, and for fans, this is a good thing. Especially in this case, as this is a movie you're absolutely going to want to watch without pants the first time through.
Which brings us back to that list I linked to earlier.
Whenever the hermit state of North Korea decides to put its own spin on global pop culture, the world takes notice, as it's not unlike witnessing familiar arts and entertainment performed by Kryptonian warlords trapped in that Phantom Zone.
"You can't hear us, but we're totally performing the score to Oklahoma! right now."