As the motion picture Mousehunt has taught us, pest control can be taken to some extreme and personally catastrophic levels. Sure, Spectracide will kill that nest of hornets, but it just doesn't pack the same punch as a hand grenade.
#5. Blowing Up Your Apartment
Tone Pina was tired of his children waking up in their beds with roaches crawling all over them (although we're curious as to why the groggy midnight discovery of a brace of cockroaches doing the Super Bowl Shuffle on your half-open mouth would ever need to happen more than once).
Understandably, Pina decided to use a bug bomb to clear out his apartment. Somewhat less easy to understand is that he set off 18 of them, which as you may notice is about 17 more than he needed, and enough to turn Skywalker Ranch into a concentration camp. A spark from his refrigerator ignited the resulting gas cloud, causing a massive explosion that left him and three other families homeless.
He did not get his deposit back.
People have gotten creative about how they get around while drinking, because careful moderation and/or calling a taxi are simply too ridiculous to discuss. However, as drunk drivers continue to pilot increasingly wackier vehicles, the laws have expanded to the point where you can now probably get a DUI on roller skates.
#8. A Wheelchair
Raymond Kulma heroically earned his seventh DUI after fighting with a man in front of a senior citizen community and boosting his motorized wheelchair. Presumably looking to evade the police in the quickest and most clandestine way possible, Kulma fled the scene at walking speed down the middle of the street, as shown in a video that should be given an Academy Award for unintentional comedy.
The Renaissance featured some of the greatest artists and intellects the world had ever seen. Now they're cheaply drawn turtles who hit people, and Italy wants to continue that trend.
Also: How stupid was it that they made Donatello the inventor, not Leonardo?
#3. The Reverse Witchcraft Trial
In an attempt to reverse the Dark Ages but still end up with something terrible, an Italian court has sentenced six scientists to prison for not predicting the future. Before the L'Aquila earthquake of 2009, scientists of the National Commission for the Forecast and Prevention of Major Risks explained that the hundreds of recent minor tremors didn't change the risk of an earthquake, which couldn't be excluded. Unfortunately, a commission civil servant then excluded the shit out of it at a press conference by saying that it was safe to stay at home and drink wine. This quote was popular, because "drinking to convince yourself everything will be fine" is always popular.
"One more glass, then I'll find a nice fault line to nap on while holding all my valuables."
When this misinformation killed people, the media pounced on the arrest of the scientists, because the alternative was admitting "That's kind of our fault for reporting sound bites instead of facts." Leading Italian scientists resigned in protest. So Italy can look forward to weather reports issued by a shaman slaughtering goats on live TV, because from now on no one will so much as predict who's there after a knock-knock joke. You also have local government, which let people live in non-earthquake-proof old buildings in the middle of a possibly literally goddamned earthquake zone, but we're sure the word "scapegoat" never entered their heads. If only because the word is "capro espiatorio" in Italian.
Traditionally, living in a car is a lifestyle that only serial killers and mystery-solving college dropouts enjoy. But, if your blood type is money and you dream of having to spend every night looking for a place to park your house, these four trailers are the answer you've been searching for, and without exception they are all infinitely nicer than the one-bedroom carpet stain the rest of us cry ourselves to sleep in.
#4. Volkner Performance Bus
Priced at a mere $1.9 million, the Volkner Mobil Performance Bus combines all of the comforts of palatial luxury with the joy of owning a condo that can be stolen by a crackhead with a brick. This 40-foot-long impulse purchase of a first-round NBA draft pick features leather sofas, a home theater entertainment system and a full-size kitchen, because for some reason they figured that a person buying this bus would be interested in preparing their own meals. It even has a secret compartment underneath to store a sports car, because the Volkner designers evidently got all of their engineering textbooks from a pile of G.I. Joes at a Wayne Manor garage sale.
"If you're going to have a big obnoxious car, why not have it carry a little obnoxious car?"