It pains us to say this, but the Pierce Brosnan James Bond films have not aged well whatsoever. As charming as Brosnan's 007 was, all of his Bond flicks have that "weird 1990s post-Die Hard, pre-CGI action flick thing where the entire film looks like a Hallmark Channel original movie" going on. And let's not pretend that GoldenEye was some hard-nosed espionage flick. Remember, killer Kegels were central to GoldenEye's narrative.
But of all the Bonds, Brosnan had the finest O-face. Or should we say "double-O-face"? Sorry, when in Rome.
On March 13, 1963, Ernesto Miranda was arrested for allegedly stealing $8 from an Arizona bank employee. Proving that "cool under pressure" is not always a trait that's present in career criminals, the questioning escalated to such a degree that, by the time it was done, Miranda had confessed to the kidnapping and rape of an 18-year-old woman a week earlier. How you don't just confess to stealing the money and keep a lid on the rest is beyond us, but hey, a confession is a confession! A trial a short time later sent Miranda and his unsavory ways to prison with a 20-year sentence.
Maricopa County via Around AZ
His mustache was tried as a minor and received four years probation.
The definition of "irony" is a little tricky, as it is routinely confused with similar concepts like "poetic justice," "bad luck" or "whatever bullshit Alanis Morrisette was singing about." Irony is simply "when something happens contrary to what is expected," like a houseboat being destroyed in an earthquake. Judging by the following five examples of other things that were destroyed in equally ironic fashion, the universe seems to understand the concept perfectly fine. Also, the universe is kind of a dick.
#5. Fire Station Burns to the Ground
In December 2011, the Linn-San Manuel Fire Department received a call informing them that the Linn-San Manuel fire station was ablaze. We imagine that they receive this call with some regularity.
"Also, your refrigerator is running."
The "special features" on DVDs just don't seem that special anymore. At one point, just having a menu seemed pretty novel. Nowadays, we get bloopers, deleted scenes and Arnold Schwarzenegger babbling like a boxcar tramp. We're so spoiled by these bells and whistles that we forget that humanity had to rewind its movies a dog's lifetime ago.
"Can we, like, hollow those out and fill them with flash drives?"