Quick Fixes


March 01, 2013

3 Reasons It's Time to Stop Taking the NRA Seriously

By Mark Hill | 266,063 Views

You may have noticed that guns have been in the news lately, and you can't talk guns without hearing from the NRA. And that seems fair -- sure, the NRA is a bit crazy at times, but gun owners deserve to have their voices heard.

But it turns out that the NRA is about as representative of gun owners as Mario games are of Italians. So the next time you hear them suggesting that we put Punisher wannabes in every school, keep in mind that ...

#3. The NRA Doesn't Represent Most Gun Owners

The NRA claims to have around 4.5 million members, which sounds impressive until you consider that there are an estimated 50 million gun owners in America, and that's not counting the ones who scared pollsters off their lawns with shotguns. In other words, about 90 percent of gun owners aren't in the NRA. The Quiznos loyalty card program probably has a better subscription rate than that.

Peel A Deal
Although you're more likely to be killed by this than a gun.


February 28, 2013

Why Lifelong Jobs Are a Thing Of the Past

By Alex Schmidt | 191,529 Views

Pope Benedict XVI recently resigned from his position as head of the Catholic church, we assume by storming purposefully into Jesus' office and handing in his badge and gun. The papacy is a lifetime gig, leaving many people confused as to why he would suddenly have the gall to quit without dying. Honestly, we're curious why more popes haven't stepped down, because if you think about it, a lifetime appointment to any job (papal or otherwise) would be pretty goddamn horrible.

#4. You Would Be Forced to Work With Assholes

Think of any job you've ever worked at. Odds are there was at least one motherfucker there that you absolutely could not stand. Now imagine having to deal with that person every single day for the rest of your life.

Jupiterimages/Polka Dot/Getty Images
"The best part of my job is hearing about my co-worker's strokes."


February 27, 2013

Why McDonald's Has the Most Insane Twitter Account

By Cyriaque Lamar | 322,186 Views

Last week, a prankster hijacked the Twitter account for Burger King, claiming that the fast food chain was sold to McDonald's due to employees' drug-fueled shenanigans. This sale would've made sense, as psychedelic freakouts have historically been the Golden Arches' bailiwick.

You see that unwashed dwarf? He's where the Shamrock Shakes come from.


February 26, 2013

The 4 Least Anticipated Movies of March 2013

By Tom Reimann | 398,892 Views

Here are four movies being released this March that you should avoid even wandering drunkenly into on St. Patrick's Day, because they won't simply kill your buzz -- they will burn your buzz's house down with its family trapped inside.

#4. InAPPropriate Comedy