Product-selling parties (like Mary Kay cosmetics demonstrations and those dildo parties that women always seem to be having in zany romantic comedies) are traditionally harmless reminders of how little your friends actually value your company. However, hosting one of the following parties would be nothing less than a hero's trial, as it would be difficult enough to admit to your friends that you own these products, let alone convince anyone to purchase them for themselves.
#4. Taser/Stun Gun Parties
DivaDefender allows you to host your very own Taser party, gathering together a group of your irrationally paranoid friends to demonstrate the finer points of shocking the bejesus out of any minority bold enough to approach them in the street.
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"He said he needed directions to the mall, but I'm pretty sure that was some kind of gang code, so I let him have it!"
Need proof that March is an objectively terrible month for television? The "new" episodes of the NBC hits Community and The New Normal dealt with hot-off-the-presses subject matter like Thanksgiving and Halloween, respectively. In the Peacock's defense, the rest of the TV world isn't doing much better. For example ...
#4. Restless Virgins -- March 9 (Lifetime)
Hugo Chavez is dead. Most of us will remember him as "that guy who hated the U.S.," but he was much, much more than that. Here are some of the best things we should remember this modern-day dictator for ...
#4. He Once Ran the Government Through Twitter
After backpedaling from his 2010 statement that Twitter is "a tool of terrorism" (which only makes sense if the terrorists are trying to win by gluing the Western World to their phones), Hugo Chavez started taking the social networking site seriously when he began chemotherapy. And by "take seriously," we mean he ran the fucking government through Twitter. This included approving money for projects, trolling the rest of the world (always a cornerstone of the Chavez platform), praising plans for a new park, and getting really fucking upset at the results of a football match, one he watched with Fidel Castro, no less.
Chavez cheering on a football game in the way all Spanish-speaking people do: like your drunk uncle. And with Fidel Castro.
Taxidermy is a craft impossible not to associate with serial killings, thanks in large part to Norman Bates, Ed Gein, Leatherface, and the maniacs that made all of this crazy bullshit.
#6. Fanciful Literary Characters
We're not sure who those teeth originally belonged to, but we're glad he doesn't have them anymore.