Quick Fixes


December 07, 2012

4 Pregnancy Souvenirs That Will Put You Off Kids Forever

By Tom Reimann, Andy Sweat | 254,562 Views

Pregnancy- and infant-related items are a major worldwide industry, so manufacturers are constantly trying to produce some stand-out new product to get a piece of the action. However, some of these ideas could've used a little more time in the womb (sorry).

#4. Chocolate Baby Heads


For everyone who has ever wanted to stare into the formaldehyde-bleached eyes of a dead infant while biting into its sallow, spongy cheek, these solid chocolate baby heads should be right up your fear-stained alley. Designed by Conjurer's Kitchen to be placed beneath a cardboard box and a stick to trap serial killers, these delightful candy corpse-part facsimiles carry the FBI red flag of realism and taste like every nightmare you thought you'd forgotten. We assume that should you actually purchase one, the transaction will appear on your bank statement as "CODE ADAM" and you'll be required to go door to door in your neighborhood to inform people that one or more of their children may soon be featured in a mass mailing.


December 07, 2012

6 Bizarre Gadgets That Punish You into Being a Better Person

By XJ Selman | 305,566 Views

Everyday life is a constant battle against our vices that we typically lose, because things that are bad for us are fantastic. Fortunately, technology has taken a cue from the dysfunctional authority figures of your youth by incorporating the age old tactics of bribery and punishment into its usual offering of alerts and reminders. All of this in an effort to drag you, kicking and screaming if it must, down the long road to finally becoming a better person.

#6. A Monitor That Scolds You if You Slouch

Many of us slouch by default, like an emotionally defeated elephant confined to a zoo enclosure smaller than most McDonald's PlayPlaces. That's why Philips has developed the ErgoSensor, a 24-inch LCD monitor with embedded sensors that allow it to watch your every move. (We were going to say "monitor you," but we didn't. You're welcome.) The ErgoSensor will then bitch at you for bad posture, sitting too close to the screen or masturbating in front of it three times in a single afternoon.

"Seriously, don't you chafe?"


December 06, 2012

The Most Amazing Celebrity Meltdown No One's Talking About

By Kathy Benjamin | 304,673 Views

Rarely is there such a perfect storm of crazy as that surrounding the recent meltdown of Katt Williams, an actor and comedian who is clearly responsible for his own IMDb biography.

#4. Inexplicable Psychotic Outbursts

In October, Williams got into an argument with actor Faizon Love outside of a nightclub, possibly over who had appeared in the superior Friday movie. Williams went to his car to get a gun, which was promptly taken away from him by one of Love's crew. Upon discovering that Williams had actually forgotten to load the weapon, they gave it back to him and went inside the club, presumably after ruffling his hair and making him promise not to break any windows with his slingshot.

Noel Vasquez / Getty
"There's no way he'll ever figure out how to buy bullets."


December 06, 2012

The 6 Worst Ways to Deal With a Breakup On Facebook

By Brenna Crotty | 316,545 Views