Quick Fixes


May 14, 2013

3 Real Things We're Pretty Sure Are Cursed

By Josh Hrala | 299,717 Views

Cursed objects generally stick to the realms of movies, books, and extremely passive-aggressive birthday cards. But sometimes these foully magicked items slip through the cracks of reality and show up in our corporeal world to scare the hell out of us. Like so ...

#3. A Cruise Ship

In February, a Carnival cruise ship with the fate-temptingly hilarious name Triumph was ushering passengers on a lovely cruise through the tropics when a fire crippled the ship, leaving it dead in the water. This would've been scary enough on its own, but then the sewage system decided to break down, raining shit down the walls of the boat onto everyone trapped inside. The passengers then sat for five goddamn days with nothing to eat, save each other and poop.

AFP / Stringer / Getty
Considering what we know of most cruise passengers, the poop would probably be more nutritious.


May 13, 2013

How Mountain Dew Just Created the Most Offensive Ad Ever

By David Christopher Bell | 273,831 Views

Have you heard? The Pepsi Company has just released and retracted what is now being celebrated as the most racist and sexist commercial in history, which is saying a lot, considering history's track record.

The story follows a severely battered white woman participating in a lineup of black men and one goat -- so yeah, smashing start.

Nothing says "refreshing" like goats and violent crime.


May 12, 2013

How One Man Tricked China into Building a Giant Dong

By Brandon Drake | 275,485 Views

When the Chinese Communist Party's official newspaper needed a new building for their headquarters, they turned to a professor of architecture, Zhou Qi. Little did they know that Zhou had every intention of building an enormous erect penis of a building. And the best part? Everyone involved should have seen it coming. (Pun intended.)

#3. The Architect Has a History of Mocking China's Funny-Looking Buildings

There were plenty of people willing to design this building. It was a juicy government job, and there was ample competition, but the man who won out in the end was Zhou, who also happens to have a habit of pointing out and mocking various Chinese buildings that look inappropriate. Take this skyscraper that looks like a giant pair of underpants, for instance:

Dan Lewis News
"I see London, I see France, I see China's giant, expensive, skyscraper underpants."


May 11, 2013

The 5 Most Insulting Defenses of Nerd Racism

By J.F. Sargent | 596,708 Views

News has broken that Michael B. Jordan (Chronicle) is being considered to play Johnny Storm (The Human Torch) in the upcoming Fantastic Four reboot. Naturally, comic book fans across the Internet are furious, because they've had it with all the reboots and just want to preserve the magic of the 2005 original -- oh, wait, no. They're angry because Michael B. Jordan is black. And in the comics, Johnny Storm is white.

Consider the Internet's bitch switch flipped.