"... but with less ball-grabbing."
In general, if you're able to utterly destroy an animal with a half-hearted kick or a lazy uppercut, it probably doesn't pose much of a threat. However, these four seemingly harmless creatures have recently begun waging psychological warfare on humanity, and we have no idea why.
#4. A Goat Has Been Terrorizing a Small Town
Anyone who's been to a petting zoo knows exactly why goats are associated with the devil. A simple bag of oats is enough to make them bulldoze a 3-year-old in less than a second like a coked-out tidal wave.
But in the streets of Londrina, Brazil, one goat has decided to forgo the oats and move straight to indiscriminate pulverization.
negociosdaterra via YouTube
Nothing stings quite like a goat to the uterus.
In the past few days, you may have gotten wind of a media frenzy concerning a harmless Cheerios commercial featuring an adorable little girl pouring cereal on her sleeping father.
There's nothing funny about ruining a working man's nap.
Wherever you stand on the political spectrum, you probably have enough common sense and moral fortitude to not go out of your way to kick a homeless person when you see one on the street. If so, pat yourself on the back, because there are some American legislators who are using every tool in their toolbox to make "poverty" the new "murder."
#5. Unpaid Rent Can Get You Thrown in Prison in Arkansas
Unless you come from a family so rich and so uninterested in your character development that they pay your bills for you, you've been short on your rent at least once in your life. It's a rite of passage, like acne or finding your parents' sex toys. Just make sure you don't live in Arkansas when the inevitable shortfall happens, because they've got a law that will send your ass to jail.
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"Suddenly, I've gained a real appreciation for the early works of N.W.A."