Experts. We look to them and their highly specific knowledge to guide us through life's tricky travails. All we ask is that they at least be proficient in the one talent they claim mastery over. Is that so hard?
#3. Area of Expertise: Weight Loss
Dieting is a bitch, and losing weight is her evil, elusive sister. So when Heidi "Kimkins" Diaz lost 198 pounds and went from flab to fab in just 11 months, she certainly had something to crow about.
"None of my old pants fit, but I'll save a fortune on circus tents!"
In 1969, Yoko Ono gave John Lennon a sketchbook titled "Fashions for Men" as a wedding gift. This book was filled with bizarre sketches of clothing she thought would look good on guys with Lennon's body type.
Upon receiving this present, John probably forced a smile, said, "Sorry, luv, the glue is still drying on my macaroni portrait of you," and silently chucked an elegantly gift-wrapped diamond necklace into the trash.
Decades later, Ono has resurrected that sketchbook in the form of her new clothing line. Was this just an elaborate excuse to make John Lennon look like an asshole from beyond the grave? We'll let you be the judge.
#6. Hand Trousers -- $335
You can't afford not to buy them.
It's December, and if this year is anything like last, that means Christmas is right around the corner. If you're the hosting type, it's likely you'll be searching for a few Christmas albums to provide the background music to your various gatherings and get-togethers that are sure to happen during the coming days and weeks. We have a the-town-in-Footloose-on-dancing-like take on Christmas music around the office, so we don't have much in the way of advice as to what albums you should choose. But here are four that we can't imagine anyone will look forward to hearing this holiday season.
#4. Colbie Caillat -- Christmas in the Sand
With Christmas in the Sand, Colbie Caillat joins that esteemed group of musicians who think they're the first person to have the bright idea to live in California. But this time around, the usual reminders that the West Coast is sunny and lies in close proximity to the ocean are mixed with messages of peace and joy and shopping for last-minute trinkets to appease your friends who are really too laid back about life to care about presents anyway. Everybody in Cali just likes to chillax for Christmas, bro. Pick this album up and find that out the hard way.