Whenever a famous person turns crazy -- and we've pointed out that it can happen to even the most respected celebrities (you're next, Betty White) -- their fans will solemnly step back and say to their fallen idol, "We're not going to fawn over you until you get your shit together." Just kidding! They'll react by defending their absolutely indefensible celebrity hero, which leads to deranged overreactions such as these ...
#4. Paula Deen Fans Are Redefining Racism
As you may have heard, professional TV chef and walking parody of Southern values Paula Deen recently admitted to dropping the N-bomb and outright lamented the fact that we don't have singing and dancing slaves anymore. So yeah, she's either A) a racist or B) cursed with an undiagnosed mental condition where "Song of the South" plays on a loop in her brain 24/7.
If recent local news stories (and Breaking Bad) have taught us anything, it's that fast food restaurants have become centers of criminal enterprise. It makes sense, if you think about it -- somebody trading money for a mysterious paper sack is much less suspicious at a drive-thru window than on a street corner. However, the underworld masterminds behind this new fast food initiative have yet to iron all the kinks out of the process, and unsuspecting customers are finding all sorts of contraband thrown in with their Value Meals.
We never got our flying cars, hoverboards, or evolved talking ape people like science fiction promised us, but we do have something close: unmanned drones. Unmanned aerial vehicles, or UAVs, are kind of like Rosie the Robot, if Rosie was tasked with killing terrorists and didn't have a sassy mouth. If you could get a soulless robot to do your job for you, would you? Of course. And that's why unmanned flying drones exist and aren't going anywhere any time soon.
That's also why you should be pretty scared.
#4. The Pervert Brigade Now Has a Brand New Weapon in Its Creepy Arsenal
As long as there are women who are willing to step outside the house with more than a wristful of skin showing, there are going to be men who want to stare at them. Nobody's happy about it, but that's where we are. Up until now, women could take comfort in knowing that unless they were enormously famous or living next door to a complete creep, backyards and private homes were safe territory. Not anymore.
U.S. Navy / Getty
"Say goodbye to nude sunbathing Thursdays, gentlemen."
With gorgeous summer weather comes one of nature's most inexplicably trollish creations: the mosquito. And thanks to some horrifying new developments, this summer is going to be loaded with thousands of giant, ultra-deadly super mosquitoes hellbent on sticking you full of more dirty needles than a dumpster dive behind a methadone clinic.
#4. There's Going to Be a Shit-Ton of Them
We had to blur out the graphic mosquito orgy going on in this photo.