Quick Fixes


June 18, 2013

Why the NSA Whistleblower Is Secretly Jason Bourne

By David Christopher Bell | 133,882 Views

As you have probably heard, the NSA has been getting awfully friendly with our digital information -- and at the center of it is this guy:

The Guardian
Coming soon to a CIA torture cell near you!


June 17, 2013

4 Ways Porn Is Baffling the Internet's Biggest Companies

By XJ Selman | 461,037 Views

Recently, porn software company MiKandi announced that they'd be releasing a porn app for Google Glass, as demonstrated in a video of a fellow pouring some fresh coffee in anticipation of an absolutely capital wanking session.

Mikandi Store
Subtlety is not porn's strong suit.

But just hours after its release, Google swooped down like a mighty mother eagle and banned not only the MiKandi app, but every future porn app that might manifest itself.

But wait -- didn't Google invent incognito mode, a browser that was explicitly created so you can look at porn without leaving a record? Google, like everyone else on the Internet, wants to have it all, and by "all" we mean secret anonymous access to people in their birthday suits. And they're not the only online company trying to figure out what to do with porn ...


June 16, 2013

3 Sinister Reasons You're Addicted To Junk Food

By J.F. Sargent | 356,232 Views

Everybody wants to eat healthy! Eventually! When we, uh, finally get around to it! Come on, how hard can it really be to give up junk food?

About as easy as kicking heroin, it turns out. The garbage we cram into our bodies is every bit as addictive as any controlled substance, and food companies have been playing us as slobbering addicts for as long as we've been alive.


June 15, 2013

Pubic Hairstyling Contests: The Worst Marketing Idea Ever

By David Christopher Bell | 144,127 Views

Summertime is here, ladies, and we all know what that means: killer pool parties, driving with the top down, and shaving your "lady lawn" into ridiculous shapes! At least that's the sentiment over at Schick Quattro for Women, a product burdened with the Herculean task of finding new and exciting ways of encouraging women in a public forum to decorate their mons pubis.

And given that they're saddled with job pressures comparable to those of a door-to-door merkin salesman, it's unsurprising to discover that the folks at Schick have completely cracked under the stress. The evidence? The "Prune for June" initiative, a pubic-hair-shaving competition that manages to make no sense whatsoever.

Schick Quattro
"I'm Don Draper, you're Don Draper, we're all Don Draper!" -the Schick ad team, minutes before they were all fired