Quick Fixes


January 12, 2013

If Guillermo del Toro Had Said Yes to a 'Star Wars' Movie

By CRACKED Readers | 206,589 Views

It's been reported that famously trippy director Guillermo del Toro has added his name to the growing list of famous directors with no desire to lend their talents to the coming debacle (or maybe not) that is Disney's takeover and reboot of the Star Wars franchise.

While we could live with or without some of the other names that have been mentioned as possible candidates to give Star Wars some strange, we admit that GdT is one name we definitely would have loved to see in the credits. It looks like that won't happen now, so instead, we asked our readers to show us what it would have looked like if it did.

Here are eight scenes we would have seen in Guillermo del Toro's Star Wars.

Paul Attacks




January 11, 2013

5 Hilariously Inept Attempts to Use Props in Congress

By Steve Shapiro | 234,001 Views

If there's one thing in politics that the American people agree on, it's that Congress sucks. Their approval rating hovers around 20 percent, giving them the same credibility as a dentist who doesn't recommend sugarless gum. However, C-SPAN deserves a lot of the blame. Despite having virtually no viewers, the network lets people see democracy at work, and these days democracy has taken a job as a failed prop comic with the speaking ability of a 10th grader. It's no surprise then that they give you acts with ...

#5. A Big Can of Campbell's Soup

C-SPAN, famous for its shows Murmuring in the Background and Special Subcommittee on Aging, is supposed to be commercial-free, but that didn't stop Representative Joe Crowley from going Andy Warhol on everyone. Responding to an attempt to repeal the Affordable Care Act, he compared the GOP plan to a diet of Campbell's soup, turning what should have been a passing joke by Bill Maher into an entire diatribe. In his speech, he somehow managed to sputter out "chicken noodle soup" more times than a vagabond auctioneer at a can swap and concluded by saying that while soup is "mmm-mmm good," the GOP plan is "mmm-mmm bad." If you take out the occasional peppering of words like "Affordable Care Act," you're left with nothing more than a full-fledged endorsement of Campbell's.

If Warhol's love of amphetamines had inspired Joe more than the soup painting, it would have been a better speech.


January 10, 2013

The 3 Most Notorious Photobombers on the Internet (Part 2)

By Aaron Short | 326,145 Views

We've already told you about some of the Internet's most prolific photobombers, because the Internet is a place that continuously rewards people for doing trivial things. As it turns out, there are even more photo-assassins out there who are a great deal more famous (but every bit as cheeky and hilarious) as the ninjas we featured in the previous installment.

#3. Nathan Fillion

Nathan Fillion is best known for being on a television show 11 years ago. He's been involved in a number of other projects since then, but clearly his favorite is making ridiculous cameos in other people's photographs like a zany ghost haunting a family album:



January 09, 2013

The 5 Least Anticipated TV Shows of January 2013

By Diana Cook | 327,373 Views

It's January, and in the world of television, that means the fall freshman duds have been cancelled -- sayonara Animal Practice and 666 Park Avenue -- to make way for a fresh crop of shows and television specials. Here are five that probably aren't worth your valuable free time.

#5. Stars in Danger: The High Dive (January 9, Fox)