Quick Fixes


May 06, 2013

How North Korea Proves We Aren't Going to Mars Anytime Soon

By XJ Selman | 205,733 Views

On April 23, Mars One began accepting applications for the first ever Mars colony, which at this stage is nothing more than a website and the ramblings of a crazy businessman. Seriously, despite having literally almost nothing to differentiate itself from any of the countless other space-related fundraising projects currently out there, Mars One manages to stay in the news. It's like they've taken lessons from North Korea on how to stay relevant in the face of crippling irrelevance.

Think about it ...

#5. They Both Make Propaganda Videos Devoid of Any Real Information

As we pointed out last month, North Korea loves their propaganda videos, all of them champions of unintentional comedy and absent of anything that could be mistaken for facts.

Mars One made a video, too, and despite being a handsome example of semi-professional visual effects, it doesn't convey a single bit of information beyond reminding us that Mars is a thing and space is where astronauts live.

"Only the blandest men will do for our new world."


May 06, 2013

How Car Makers Routinely Use Suicide as a Selling Point

By David Christopher Bell | 127,161 Views

In the advertising world, there are always those never-failing concepts that audiences love, such as dancing babies and non-imposing black men talking directly to the camera. These things may not be new, but they're safe, which is good when you just want to get your product out there.

Recently, however, Hyundai decided to think outside of the box -- or so they thought -- with a new "edgy" commercial designed to show not only the clean water emissions of their new vehicle, but also that suicide is kind of funny.


May 03, 2013

4 Reasons You'd Never Use Microsoft's New Gaming Device

By XJ Selman | 245,356 Views

Over the weekend, Microsoft revealed the latest demo for their next-gen accessory, the IllumiRoom, which is pretty much a projector you put on your coffee table that turns your living room into a screen, giving you panoramic vision for your gaming and movie watching. On paper, this sounds awesome, right?

Sadly, it isn't. All Microsoft has managed to do is ruin your video games so hard that it is nearly impossible to be in the same room with them as you play them.

#4. It Only Really Works at Night

In both their latest demonstration video and the previous one, the first thing you notice is that the IllumiRoom's capabilities are being showcased in a pitch-dark room. Or at least that's the first thing you should notice if you're a well-adjusted human being.

Which is admittedly not the Xbox's target demographic.


May 02, 2013

Inside Martha Stewart's Creepy Sex Interview With Her Nephew

By David Christopher Bell | 154,764 Views

Martha Stewart is one of an extremely limited number of convicted felons who can still have literally anything they want out of life. From jobs to money to friends and everything beyond, Martha Stewart, for all intents and purposes, should want for nothing. So why in the hell is this happening?


That's Martha Stewart's shiny new Match.com online dating profile. "The old huntress is looking for some silver foxtail," as nobody ever says.

It all started when beige Muppet Matt Lauer did what appeared to be an innocent "day in the life" segment for his good pal Martha Stewart, who was promoting her new book on the TODAY show.

Filmed on location at the kind of place where "Release the hounds!" still means something.