As children, we are expected to own up to our mistakes and learn from them. As adults, we learn to simply blame our idiot mistakes on someone else and palpate the legal system until a shitload of money flies out.
#4. A Billionaire Sues a Casino Because He Sucks at Gambling
Real estate billionaire Harry Kakavas has a bit of a gambling problem. This is another way of saying that he threw down over a billion dollars at Australia's Crown Casino in the span of 16 months, leading us to wonder how he ever became a billionaire in the first place.
Jamesbehave / Wikipedia
The Crown spent the bulk of their winnings redefining the word "tacky."
When you totally excise all the racial purity rhetoric and genocide and wholesale destruction of humanity, Adolf Hitler is basically Mr. Bean. At least that's the verdict of some folks across Asia, where der Fuhrer's sourpuss countenance has inspired everything from bars in Seoul to Mongolian neo-Nazi groups.
What's your worst nightmare? Showing up to school naked? Forgetting about a big test? Or accidentally walking in on your grandma doing a #2? Trick question, fools! We all know that the ultimate nightmare is accidentally broadcasting your freaky masturbatory preferences to the world, which is A) more prevalent than you think and B) exactly what happened to these poor SOBs.
#3. Professor Forgets to Unplug Laptop from Projector, Streams Porn Online
After a long day at work, some people just want to sit back, relax, and watch total strangers simulate making genetic clones of themselves on the Internet. For one professor, however, waiting for the work day to end just wasn't going to cut it. So once his students had left, he decided to go to a little site known as PornHub, which unnamed sources tell us is not a tasty new sandwich stand that specializes in po'boys.
But Professor Numbnuts forgot one tiny detail: unplugging the laptop from the projector.
It used to be that if a movie bombed, film executives would read the tea leaves and not make that damn movie again. But nowadays, the game has changed. Just because a movie is "mildly dated" or "criminally terrible" doesn't mean that a studio shouldn't mindlessly give it another go like a three-legged lemming. Here are some of the most inexplicable remakes coming down the pike.
#4. They're Remaking Point Break, but Without the Surfing
That's right: The surfing, bank-robbin', sky-divin', president-mask-wearing '90s action flick is getting remade -- only without the surfing part, which they've traded in for "extreme sports" to better appeal to 2002 audiences. This means the title of the film no longer makes any sense, since it's a surfing reference. At this point, why not just call the Point Break remake something else and be done with it?
Worked for these guys.