Quick Fixes

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July 20, 2013

4 Baffling Ways the Continent of Asia Loves Hitler

When you totally excise all the racial purity rhetoric and genocide and wholesale destruction of humanity, Adolf Hitler is basically Mr. Bean. At least that's the verdict of some folks across Asia, where der Fuhrer's sourpuss countenance has inspired everything from bars in Seoul to Mongolian neo-Nazi groups.

Dan Chung for the Guardian
What happened, Mongolia? You used to be cool.

Article

July 19, 2013

3 People Who Accidentally Showed X-Rated Videos to Everyone

By XJ Selman | 428,568 Views

What's your worst nightmare? Showing up to school naked? Forgetting about a big test? Or accidentally walking in on your grandma doing a #2? Trick question, fools! We all know that the ultimate nightmare is accidentally broadcasting your freaky masturbatory preferences to the world, which is A) more prevalent than you think and B) exactly what happened to these poor SOBs.

#3. Professor Forgets to Unplug Laptop from Projector, Streams Porn Online

After a long day at work, some people just want to sit back, relax, and watch total strangers simulate making genetic clones of themselves on the Internet. For one professor, however, waiting for the work day to end just wasn't going to cut it. So once his students had left, he decided to go to a little site known as PornHub, which unnamed sources tell us is not a tasty new sandwich stand that specializes in po'boys.

But Professor Numbnuts forgot one tiny detail: unplugging the laptop from the projector.

Reddit via Gawker
"Would anyone care to replicate the following demonstration?"

Article

July 18, 2013

4 Movies You Won't Believe Hollywood Is Remaking

By David Christopher Bell | 581,513 Views

It used to be that if a movie bombed, film executives would read the tea leaves and not make that damn movie again. But nowadays, the game has changed. Just because a movie is "mildly dated" or "criminally terrible" doesn't mean that a studio shouldn't mindlessly give it another go like a three-legged lemming. Here are some of the most inexplicable remakes coming down the pike.

#4. They're Remaking Point Break, but Without the Surfing

That's right: The surfing, bank-robbin', sky-divin', president-mask-wearing '90s action flick is getting remade -- only without the surfing part, which they've traded in for "extreme sports" to better appeal to 2002 audiences. This means the title of the film no longer makes any sense, since it's a surfing reference. At this point, why not just call the Point Break remake something else and be done with it?

Universal Studios
Worked for these guys.

Article

July 16, 2013

4 People Who Just Had The Worst Day Of Work Ever

By J.F. Sargent | 407,167 Views

Most everyday workplace mishaps are embarrassing but harmless (see: accidentally unleashing a corpse flower of a fart upon seeing your office crush saunter into the break room). However, no matter how mortifying, our avocational cock-ups don't make the national news. The same can't be said for these poor bastards, whose bad days at work quickly became the most publicly embarrassing moments of their entire lives.

#4. Bank Employee Accidentally Embezzles $300 Million

A German bank employee recently fell asleep at work. That in and of itself isn't too surprising, but he somehow managed to conk out in the middle of transferring funds with his finger resting leadenly on the "2" key and accidentally sent some poor retired guy 222,222,222,222 euros. That's almost $300 million, which is roughly enough money to fly to the moon three times.

Alex Wong/Getty Images News/Getty Images
Four times, if you steal your spacesuit from the Smithsonian.