Quick Fixes

Article

September 02, 2014

4 Video Game Gimmicks Nobody Likes Anymore

By Carolyn Burke | 187,425 Views

A decade ago, sci-fi movies like The Island and Minority Report promised us a future where we didn't have to pick up controllers to play video games. Well, guess what: It's here! The future arrived! And it sucks! After the promising start of the Wii, the impressive technological potential of the Kinect, and the "hey guys, we're doing this too, we guess" of the PlayStation Move, it looks like the state of interactive gaming has screeched to a painful halt. Here's why:

#4. The PlayStation 4 Camera Is Used for Porn, Drugs, Weirdness (Anything but Gaming)

The world was introduced to the PlayStation 4's Playroom (a mini-game that uses a camera to show you interacting with cool special effects on your TV) when Ice-T kicked little virtual robots on Jimmy Fallon's show. Remember that? Lots of people do, because the PS4 camera immediately sold out as gamers began broadcasting their Playroom sessions online. Here's how Sony imagined everyone would use this thing:

Sony

And here's what the Internet did instead:

via imgur.com (NSFW)

via reddit.com
He starts blowing the gun too.

Article

August 31, 2014

8 Real NASA Projects Straight Out of Science Fiction

By XJ Selman | 237,493 Views

While we might be quick to whine about our lack of flying cars, hoverboards, lightsabers, time machines, teleporters, self-tying sneakers, personal robot servants, jet packs, and people walking around with three boobs, we have to admit NASA has actually been science-fictioning things up over the last few years. How so?

#8. Morpheus Can Land Like a UFO

Anything stereotypically UFO-like in the history of NASA inventions has been shat on and cooked alive by the underside exhaust flames of NASA's latest "Shit, is that a real UFO?" achievement: Project Morpheus.

NASA
"We came up with the idea after chili day at the cafeteria."

Article

August 29, 2014

6 Bizarre Signs That Hollywood Is Stuck in a 10-Year Loop

By David Christopher Bell | 367,067 Views

If you're one of those people who are worried that Hollywood has run out of ideas, fear not! We've diagrammed the next 10 years of movies for you, to demonstrate that the bigwigs out in Tinseltown are nowhere close to the bottom of their creative wells.

2012: A New Bourne Trilogy Begins (Just Like 10 Years Ago)

Back in 2002, America was a nation still reeling from the previous year's September 11 release of Nickelback's third studio album, Silver Side Up. It was the perfect environment for a popcorny espionage thriller like The Bourne Identity to make a killing at the box office, especially when it features Matt Damon riding a guy down a flight of stairs like a magic carpet.

Universal Studios
A whole neeeww world!

Article

August 27, 2014

6 BS Stories That Went Viral: Siri's Not a Murder Accomplice

By David Christopher Bell | 318,902 Views

Reading comprehension has sunk to such low levels that Facebook has started adding a "[satire]" tag to Onion articles just to make sure people don't mistake them for legitimate news ... the irony, of course, being that the Onion currently contains more truth than the "legitimate news" companies they mock.

So, until Facebook (and everyone else) creates a "[bullshit]" tag for every popular news site out there, we'll have to continue our ongoing mission to debunk the clearly fake stories they disseminate every week. Starting with ...

#6. A Dumb Criminal Did Not Ask Siri How to Hide a Body

Everyone loves a good dumb criminal story almost as much as they love a dumb "Florida man" story -- so when a man in Florida on trial for murder was outed for asking Siri how to hide a body, the news exploded like a John Woo film starring two Large Hadron Colliders. Sites like Business Insider, BuzzFeed, Mediaite, Yahoo, the Independent, IB Times, Huff Post, and Fox all got in on the carnage:

dailymail.co.uk

ibtimes.co.uk
"Hey, Siri. What do snitches get?"
"... *gulp*"