How to Fix 'The Walking Dead' in One Easy Step
While a spinoff of the highly successful series The Walking Dead has been rumored for years, it was finally confirmed when AMC recently ordered a pilot. Though the creators have released some vague tidbits on the cast of characters, they've been tight-lipped on the location, only stating that, while this series will be in the same post-apocalyptic universe (no way!), it will not be set in the same state as the companion series, which takes place in the most soul-crushingly boring part of Georgia imaginable.
walkingdead.wikia.com
Which is wherever these people are.
That sounds like a joke, because it is, but it's also completely true and a gigantic problem for this show. Starting out with their sights set on Atlanta was great, immediately giving up and fleeing to the woods to talk things out for eternity, at least from an entertainment standpoint, has turned out far less great, whether anyone wants to admit it or not. You can only hide so many places in rural Georgia, as it turns out, and most of those places are barns or abandoned houses.
YouTube
Reminder: The kids on this show are the worst.
Sure, the occasional walker jumps out from behind a tree or something, but that's just silly more than anything. Those things growl constantly and the only other sound for miles is the deafening silence of nature. If a zombie gets the drop on you in that environment, it's nothing more than evolution at work. Again, sounds like a joke, but it's also a problem in that it makes every encounter with a walker seem like the most unlikely scenario imaginable.
Fortunately, this is a problem the spinoff can easily fix. Just set that show in a place that doesn't lend itself exclusively to rampant boredom.
Thinkstock/Stockbyte/Getty Images
Miami?
There has been plenty of theorizing and debate about possible locations, with no single idea seeming a whole lot better than the next. Having weeks-long discussions about how you should maybe find a safer place to live while fighting off a ceremonial swarm of zombies every 30 minutes is something you can literally do anywhere. That makes it super hard to choose.
Nevertheless, choose is what we're about to do, because we know exactly where the Walking Dead spinoff should be set. For the best possible results, they should set up shop in Detroit. Here are a few reasons why.
Detroit Already Looks Like the Apocalypse Hit It
Sounds harsh, we know, but it's the damn truth. When Anthony Bourdain shot an episode of his CNN travel show, Parts Unknown, there, he compared the city to Chernobyl. You've seen Chernobyl, right? If not, it looks like this ...
... and this ...
Andrew Burton/Getty Images News/Getty Images
... and this ...
Andrew Burton/Getty Images News/Getty Images
... except just joking, that's actually all Detroit. You wouldn't have known the difference if we didn't tell you, though. At present, there are 78,000 abandoned buildings and 66,000 abandoned lots in that city. So, hey, great news, apocalypse survivors -- no more talking about where you're going to live! Everyone gets a building!
Obviously, given its present state, Detroit could use any economic boost that might come as a result of the show filming there, but you don't need us to tell you that. Don't feel bad about that, though, because ...
There's Precedent for Exploiting Destroyed Areas for Entertainment
OK, maybe that doesn't make you feel better. Still, it happens. For starters, AMC already shot one series in Detroit. It was Low Winter Sun, so nobody saw it, but that doesn't change the fact that it happened.
Daniel Boczarski/Getty Images Entertainment/Getty
We're sure about that?
Of course, that's a far cry from flat-out saying, "Hey, this looks like the end of civilization, let's shoot here." For a prime example of that, look no further than The Hunger Games, which used an abandoned South Carolina town to represent the shithole that was District 12.
YouTube
It's neat how those huge TV screens were still there!
The Discovery Channel took this idea a step further, setting an entire reality series called The Colony in a Hurricane Katrina-ravaged section of Louisiana.
YouTube
You didn't watch it.
The premise was that a group of strangers had to band together and learn how to survive after most of the world has been wiped out by a deadly plague. Sound familiar?
Also, one more thing ...
