#3. France Didn't Make Late-Night Work Emails Illegal
Despite having a higher work output than Germany, we like to picture the French as a mime-faced pile of layabouts lazily fucking while kissing the end of a long-tipped cigarette and playing the accordion at the same time. That's probably why everyone from the Guardian to the BBC to the various popular blogs in between are passing this fascist little puppy around:
"Only sexts are allowed past 9, even in emergencies."
If you're wondering how France can dictate work and social life without everyone dusting off the guillotine, the answer is that they can't. Or rather, they aren't. In fact, the only accurate part of those headlines is the "France" one: This isn't a law, but a union agreement, and it doesn't forbid anyone from sending work emails past a certain time, but simply gives workers the right to not respond to them during their off hours -- whenever that may be. Which isn't that crazy, considering a few German companies did this years ago, and the United States is slowly getting there, one "stop spamming my BlackBerry with late-night work emails" lawsuit at a time.
But for some reason those 250,000 French union employees became "millions of people," and "whenever" became the oddly specific "exactly at 6 p.m." But hey, that's what being a reporter is all about, right? Getting it slightly right and then just mindlessly copying and pasting it over and over?
#2. AC/DC Isn't Retiring (Not All of Them, Anyway)
Despite having a lead singer that sounds like a Muppet, AC/DC has jockeyed the rock-and-roll train for nearly 40 years, which also makes it no surprise to anyone to hear that their mighty reign has come to a close:
"Tony Stark devastated."
Well, it's no surprise to anyone except AC/DC, who have no intention of throwing in the towel, despite everyone, including the Daily Mail, USA Today, Yahoo, and all of the many metal-devoted sites out there, saying otherwise. It turns out that the "report" was actually a single Australian radio DJ saying the words "We may not hear them perform or record ever again" after getting an anonymous email saying as much. While it's true that founder Malcolm Young (aka "the guitarist who doesn't dress like a 10-year-old") is stepping down due to health issues, believe it or not, rock bands have been known to continue after one important member quits.
Mark Metcalfe/Getty Images Entertainment/Getty Images
Or all important members, even.
#1. Everyone Needs to Stop Reporting That Bigfoot Was Shot
Hey, remember when we told you about all those dumb "the Loch Ness Monster died" headlines that were popping up last year? Surely the media has learned its lesson by now and this won't happen ag-
We're not sure what's worse: the fact that this story was in Fox's "Science/Wild Nature" section or that you can totally debunk it just by looking at the photographic proof that came with it:
Despite looking like the lovechild of Yukon Cornelius and Bumble, this thing made it not only to the local news, but also to the New York Daily News, International Business Times, and TIME. Each time the headline credited "Bigfoot hunter" Rick Dyer for the kill ... which is funny, considering Dyer's previous job as a Bigfoot hoaxer.
That would be a 2008 article involving a store-bought Sasquatch costume, possum road kill, and Rick Dyer pulling the exact same fucking hoax on the news. Along with calling his guts-filled forgery a "big joke" in the interview, Dyer also flat-out says the words "Bigfoot doesn't exist."
Special thanks to Chris Rio for providing the AC/DC story.