#2. They're Both Frighteningly Rich
Facebook's purchase of WhatsApp is the main reason we estimate their purchases over the last two years to be worth around $22.25 billion, while Google's are a paltry $18.8 billion. What this means, of course, is that Google and Facebook each now has more spending money than the full combined wealth of Lex Luthor and Mr. Burns.
So, we know where most of Facebook's money went, but what has Google been doing with theirs? Oh, you know, just regular website stuff, like spending $18.2 million on lobbying in 2012. That's more than freaking Lockheed Martin, which is weird considering that most of Google's products aren't designed to murder people across vast distances (we hope).
Loic Le Meur
Although the Glass did get condemned by the Geneva Conventions.
We don't want to know what Google needs that kind of political influence for, but at least Facebook's mere $1.4 million in lobbying will only be enough to buy off a couple senators from Idaho who think FarmVille is an agricultural subsidy.
#1. They Have Insane, Comic Book-Worthy Headquarters
There's one last thing that truly separates the Dr. Ozes from the Dr. Dooms -- headquarters. Facebook's cross between Disneyland and an upscale Jonestown is definitely unsettling, especially with all the They Live-style propaganda everywhere:
Business Insider/Julie Bort
"I said 'CONSUME'! Goddamn contractors."
But while that's creepy and all, it's hard to compete with Google's foursome of mysterious floating barges. Yep, that's real:
When has a secret tech barge ever been used for anything other than Bond villainy?
Google has been building floating bases so they can avoid the usual hassle of "filing permits" and "revealing what your mysterious, dystopian structures are for," which isn't something Pinterest worries about, for instance. The official word is that they're "an interactive space where people can learn about new technology." That sounds like a purposely vague statement designed to lure in the rich and famous, who will then be vaporized by Google's death lasers as a warning to the rest of huma- wait, we just got bought by Google. Everything is cool!
You can read more from Mark at his website.