Even when you have the best intentions, there are some moments when lending a helping hand is a bad idea. Like when you're a toddler or on fire, or when your idea of "helping" is actually going to make the world a worse place to live. Take the following examples ...
#5. Boy Scout Leaders Destroy a 200-Million-Year-Old Rock Formation for "Safety"
Boy Scout leader Glenn Taylor and a few colleagues were leading their troops on a hike through Utah's Goblin Valley State Park when they noticed a precarious rock formation that looked like it might topple at any moment. God forbid a rock fall over and crush a kid, so two of them did what anyone with an eye for safety and zero understanding of geology would do, and they recorded themselves joyously toppling the boulder over.
A douching 65 beers in the making.
High-fives, shouting, and dancing to the tune of '90s dance song "Wiggle It" quickly followed the toppling. What the dynamic duo didn't know was that the boulder had been sitting there safely for 170 million years, and by knocking it off, they just might have committed a felony. How did they find out they had just acted like the world's dumbest scoutmasters? The same way we all find out how stupid we are -- by posting a video on Facebook.
The best part of the story is that the scoutmaster who actually did the boulder shoving had filed a personal injury lawsuit after a 2009 car accident that caused him "great pain and suffering, disability, impairment, loss of joy of life." Either destroying ancient rock formations was just what the doctor ordered or this guy is going to lose his suit in a big way.
#4. City Official Adorably Thinks He Can Pull People Over
In the sleepy town of Stockbridge, Georgia, there is one man who protects the streets from the lowlifes and degenerates. One man, raining down the sweet hail of justice, keeping the scum off the streets while you sleep safely in your bed. That man ... is The Manager.
"Civil disorganization never stood a chance."
City Manager David Milliron, that is, who noticed a tractor-trailer leaking sawdust on the highway and decided that he, and he alone, was fit for the job of stopping him, despite the fact that he absolutely wasn't. After the driver initially refused to stop because the lights on Milliron's state-issued car weren't of the "person for whom you are required to pull over" variety, Milliron stated that the city charter gives him the authority to stop vehicles. As it turns out, no, it doesn't, not at all. Milliron is currently under investigation for unnamed charges, probably "wacky hubris."
#3. Superintendent Fears Someone Might Come into School With Gun, Brings Gun to School
While schools have been going a little off the rails lately where student safety is concerned, nobody could fault Dwayne "The Glock" Johnston, superintendent at a North Dakota high school, for being concerned about gun violence in his school. His solution? More guns.
Seriously, dude, that mustache is all the gun you should ever need.
An incident with a student that involved making "threats that led Johnston to believe people in the school were in danger" was apparently all it took to convince him that pulling out his nine was a reasonable response. What is this, the high school from Dangerous Minds? While Johnston never got the chance to actually brandish his weapon, probably to his great disappointment, a board member did notice he was carrying it under his suit jacket, resulting in a letter of reprimand and Johnston's resignation. As a correspondent for the local NBC affiliate reports with a hilariously straight face, "Looking back, he says he would do things differently."
#2. Neighbor Creeps on Some Kids, Actually Concerned for Their Safety
Imagine you notice a middle-aged man filming children while they wait for the school bus early one morning. Now imagine he also has a gun. We're squarely in Ted Bundy territory, right? There's no explanation for this that isn't horrifically depraved.
Or the setup of like a dozen Law and Order: SVU episodes.
Actually, there is, kind of. When officers arrived at Terry Longenecker's Pennsylvania home, he insisted that, really, this isn't what it looks like, and incredibly, it wasn't. Longenecker explained that he had noticed this particular school bus driver repeatedly driving unsafely and he was filming the stop so that, when he reported the driver to the school board, they would know he wasn't making it up. He had the gun because another man on the street, probably understandably freaked out by the guy's behavior, got a little hostile when he confronted Longenecker, and he felt threatened. OK, maybe that was an overreaction, but it was all in the service of the children.
#1. "I Was Just Trying to Protect My Neighborhood!" Says the Man Dressed Like a Ninja
There's a reason vigilantism is against the law, and it's a particularly bad idea when you dress up in a manner guaranteed to freak people out while doing it. Todd Kapcsos inexplicably needed to find that out the hard way.
After observing the understaffing problem of Johnstown, Pennsylvania's police department, he decided it was time to step up and do his part. What did he do, exactly? Drape himself in black fabric and lurk around people's houses, mostly. We can all agree that that's the best way to engender a feeling of safety in a neighborhood, right?
"I'm the hero you deserve and need!"
Unsurprisingly, the already overtaxed police department was inundated with calls from disturbed residents about their sudden ninja infestation. Kapcsos is currently facing charges of loitering, prowling at night, and disorderly conduct. When questioned, he explained that at first he was just "practicing ninja techniques" -- you know, harmless normal stuff like "hiding in the shadows" and, of course, the ancient art of pretending to be a rock. Eventually, though, he decided that he should stop selfishly hogging these incredible skills and use them to help the people, explaining, "I think the community should do something other than sit back." Note to this guy: not that.