4 Reasons Ashton Kutcher's Buzzfeed Ripoff Site Is Insane

#2. They Are Way Behind Internet Culture

It's a pretty standard bottom-feeding Internet practice to scour a single Reddit or Imgur gallery and repost it along with a tiny fraction of space crediting where you blatantly stole the images from. (That makes it legal!) On their quest for spiritual enlightenment, A+ dutifully continues this practice, as evidenced by this list of pencil sculptures lifted directly from an Imgur post:

A+

But what makes A+ truly stand out from the rest of the pack is the fact that this gallery is four fucking years old:

A+
The next story is about a man painting his own selfie.

You see, what makes A+ such a baffling example of lazy plagiarism is the fact that they are apparently time-traveling lazy plagiarists. They're ripping off viral content years after the content was relevant. It's as if their entire editorial staff was frozen in a block of ice back in 2007. For instance, here's a super timely Borat reference:

A+
"Oh, did I do that?" -Ashton Kutcher

At their very best, they're only a month or two late, like when they recently discovered a Paddington Bear Tumblr meme that's been around since June. However, at their very worst, they are running articles rebutting the sexism in advertising ...

A+
Is it "We're sexist"?

... from ads that were produced in the 1950s and 1960s:

A+

The article, doing its damnedest to pretend the past six decades never occurred, rants about not buying into the blatantly chauvinistic ideas about beauty and femininity present in advertising, all while never actually giving modern day examples, or even making a coherent point. The result is jarringly similar to watching a person with dementia yell at old newspapers.

#1. The Text Was Clearly Written by a Stoned Teenager

If you're anything like us, you've spent an unhealthy amount of time imagining what would happen if BuzzFeed suddenly became self-aware like the planet-killing computer from The Terminator and slowly drove itself insane with its own content. Thanks to A+, you no longer have to imagine what that would look like, because all of their content was clearly written by a depressed automaton. For example, here's the spirited A+ intro to a list of six romantic beaches:

A+
"Is this how hu-mans are to feel? Y/N."

A man wackily posing for maternity photos becomes existential commentary on the societal nature of motherhood:

A+

Did you happen to see that video of the little girl hugging her brother on YouTube? A+ sees it as a profound lesson on the unbearable weight of eternity:

A+
Werner Herzog's YouTube channel is depressing as shit.

The radiant jewel in this crown of buzz-killing introspection is the write-up for a (stolen) list of Photoshop-aged celebrities, which was apparently inspired by Bad Company's "Shooting Star" and all of the weed in the universe:

A+
Just like how a bunch of word salad doesn't negate the lazy.

And that's where everything about A+ makes either perfect sense or no sense at all -- had it been made by a bunch of stoned 13-year-olds with no concept of journalistic integrity, its existence is understandable. However, A+ has a corporate legal page complete with copyright and privacy policies mere clicks away from straight-up plagiarism and cartoonishly broad pieces of pseudo-philosophy:

A+

It's as if every last-minute college term paper cut-and-pasted from Wikipedia suddenly congealed into a website and called itself A+ on the pretense that, with such a name, it could not possibly fail. Despite all that, it's managed to become one of the more popular websites in the U.S., so maybe Ashton really is Punk'ing us.

Alexa via dailydot.com
Shit.

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